musicals ft. summaries

Phantom of The Opera: gross goth guy lives beneath sewer and writes an opera

Natasha, Pierre and The Great Comet of 1812: seriously who the fuck writes an electropop opera about a 1200 page russian novel

Hamilton: seriously who the fuck writes a hip hop musical about alexander fucking hamilton

Zombie Prom: you know, taking your dead ex-boyfriend to prom may have seemed like a good idea in theory but im not sure anymore

In The Heights: somehow humorous and depressing all at the same time, also gay

Lizzie the Musical: okay im not kidding this time who the fuck writes a musical about lizzie fucking borden

Heathers the Musical: dating creepy guys in trench coats is probably a bad idea

Carrie the Musical: if you make fun of someone for getting their period, you’re in for a big surprise buddy

Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson: who the actual fuck comes up with the idea to write a musical about the seventh president of the usa

Wicked: green gay meets pink gay and it’s pretty gay

Ghost Quartet: who the fuck comes up with this shit though

Les Misérables: emotional pain feat. gay revolutionaries

Spring Awakening: not explaining puberty to sexually frustrated teenagers is probably a bad idea

Waitress: deep shit blueberry pie and overly lovable characters

21 Chump Street: drugs are not the way to a woman’s heart, apparently

Sweeney Todd: okay no seriously who the everliving fuck comes up with this shit

Love Never Dies: i don’t have any funny joke for this lnd just sucks

CATS: i mean i guess writing a musical about cats may have seemed like a good idea in theory

Starlight Express: what the fuck alw

Musicals By Their Best Insults
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Phantom of the Opera:</b> "Carlotta must be taught to act, not her normal trick of strutting round the stage. Our Don Juan must lose some weight- it's not healthy in a man of Piangi's age. And my managers must learn that their place is in an office, not the arts."<p/><b>Les Misérables:</b> "Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit! Comforter, philosopher and lifelong shit! Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire. Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!"<p/><b>Wicked:</b> "I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy, too. I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission to feed your own ambition!"<p/><b>Hamilton:</b> "Sittin’ there useless as two shits. Hey, turn around, bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits!" & "SIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER!<p/><b>Heathers:</b> (<i>this entire musical is an insult</i>) "Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!" & "SHUT UP HEATHER!"<p/><b>Love Never Dies:</b> (<i>this entire musical is an insult to humanity</i>) "Look at you, deep in debt. Stinking drunk, pitiful [...] Look at you, foul as sin. Hideous, horrible." & "Beauty sometimes goes unseen. We can't all be like Christine."<p/><b>Grease:</b> "Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee. Lousy with virginity. Won't go to bed 'til I'm legally wed. I can't; I'm Sandra Dee"<p/></p>
Things Each Musical Reminds Me Of

*based on the period of my life when I listened to the musical the most, not the actual content of the musical; though it’s kind of funny how each musical relates to what it reminds me of

Wicked: unexpectedly starting a conversation with an old friend and realizing you miss them

The Phantom of the Opera: the kind of love you don’t expect anything from

RENT: rebelling against your parents for the first time

The Sound of Music: finding family in friends you never expected to meet

Newsies: adventures and memories that come from the people you were with not the places you went

Les Miserables: disappointment you won’t remember in a month but you needed to experience

Next to Normal: self-growth when you least expect it

The Last Five Years: losing what you were looking for but finding something better

If/Then: independence is not loneliness

Love Never Dies: sharing something you love with your friends because you want them to know how important they are to you

Avenue Q: going on a road trip with your best friend and singing until your throat is raw

Spring Awakening: continuously learning and falling in love with something you already know so well

The Book of Mormon: second-hand happiness because the person who means so much to you is where they want to be

Daddy Long Legs: accidental all-nighters reading horoscopes with your friends

Fun Home: allowing yourself time for growth; accepting not everything has to come at once

Hamilton: meeting someone once and knowing from then on you won’t go a day in your life without them

Heathers: the worst new beginnings that somehow still lead to the best new things

In the Heights: forgetting why you started doing something and beginning to do it for yourself

Dear Evan Hansen: the trust someone hands you when they introduce you to their favorite band

Waitress: a person you associate with your entire life but you’ve only known a short while

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812: forgiveness you don’t deserve and the hope that comes from your lowest moments

Falsettos: long distance friendships with origin stories no one will believe

Full Musicals 🎭🎈😻

The most annoying thing is being unable to watch the musicals you love.

Here, I’ve compiled the links to full or two-part musicals for your viewing!

NOTE: Not all of these are of the same quality, and not all of these are Broadway performances. This is a growing list. If there is a different portrayal of a musical you would like to see, just ask. Also, if there is a specific musical I haven’t added to the list, feel free to let me know! Thanks :)


25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Newsies

Catch Me If You Can

The Phantom of the Opera

Love Never Dies

Jekyll and Hyde  -Act One     ~  Jekyll and Hyde -Act Two

Jesus Christ Superstar

Les Miserables (10th Anniversary)

My Fair Lady (Movie)

RENT

Bonnie and Clyde

Sweeny Todd

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Beauty and the Beast

Legally Blonde

Keep reading

  • Me, rapidly looking back and forth while raising and lowering my voice several octaves: Why have you brought me he- Don't take me back there! We must retur- He'll kill me! His eyes will find me th- Christine don't say that! Those eyes that bur- Don't even think it! And if he has to kill a thousand men- Forget this waking nightmare! The phantom of the opera will kill and kill again! My god- my god who is this man? Who hunts to kill- this mask of death! I can't escape from h- who's is this voice you hea- I never wi- with every breath! And in the labyrinth where night is blind, the phaaaaa ntom of the opera is here, inside my mIND! THERE IS NO P HANTOM OF THE OPERA!R A O U L I'VE BEEN THERE!

So tonight I found myself in one of the hipsteriest, millennialist, most nightlife-friendly parts of Nashville (where I live) and the place was pretty hopping. Like busy. All these twenty somethings wandering about in their heels and coiffed hair and such.

And then

Speeding down the main street of this part of town

With windows down

Comes this car, blasting music.

Not so unusual.

But what were they blasting?

Ladies and gentlemen, this car was BLASTING, at MAX VOLUME, down this INCREDIBLY BUSY STREET “dear old friends” from Love Never Dies.

I ascended the astral plane tonight

6

The try of a collection of I would not call “dark” musicals because some of them are quite great fun, let´s call them “Goth-friendly” ^^
Included are film versions also with great music, and with some of them I am not familiar by now but have them on my list.

me at parties

*everyone chatting amongst themselves*

me: ahem.

everyone:

me:

me: soME of yOU may REcALL the stRAnge AFfair of the PHANTom of the OPERa…

everyone: not this shit again-

me: a mySTerY, never fULLy expliAned.