love my pastor

Hanji: Levi! I have to tell you something!

Levi: What is it babe?

Hanji: I love you more than titans!!

Levi: :O

Levi: …Well I love you more than tea!

Hanji: I love you more than science!

Levi: *tearing up a little* I love you more than cleaning..

Hanji: Well, I love you more than Pastor Nick..

Levi: Wait you loved pastor ni-

Hanji: -And I love you more than I hate the military police!

Levi: Then I love you more than I love poop jokes!

Erwin: I love neither of you as much as I love my eyebrows, and I think you need to leave before your shamefully bad flirting rubs off on me

Me, awkward: “Hello pastor, I haven’t gone to church in approx. 6 years but I was wondering if you wanted to officiate my Gay Wedding”

And They Lived Happily Ever After...

Wade Wilson x Reader

Warnings: Smut

Words: 2,970

Request: Can u write about where Wade Wilson and the reader are in a relationship. And they got married. And when they have there honeymoon they visit …  Maybe Russia ? (’Cause it’s cold and yeah u can cuddle and touch each other ) and yeah first they visit the city but when they are in the hotel/house/villa idc they don’t make it to the bed ‘cause wade gets easily turned on even if the reader doesn’t make any sexually . (Maybe he gets turned on when the reader is thinking and is biting on her lip) ?

A/N: Okay, I’m awful at smut. Nevertheless, here’s this. I hope you like it!

“Stop fidgeting, (Y/N).” Natasha warned, smoothing down your white gown.

“Sorry,” you muttered.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about.” She smiled softly, placing a hand on your arm to help calm you down.

“It’s not me I’m nervous about.” You admitted with a distracted voice, your mind going wild with a million different scenarios ending in a ruined day.

“Trust me; he’s not going to fuck this up.” She promised. Your cherry lips curved up into a small smile, thinking about how long you’ve waited for this day. “Now go get ‘em,” she urged, pushing you towards the ornate mahogany doors. Your stomach flipped as a man opened the doors for you, the music playing for you to walk down the aisle. You’d only taken a step before your father smiled to you, wrapping his arm gently around you. You breathed heavily, your eyes on Wade as you walked down the aisle. Next to you, your father was whispering lax words of encouragement to you. You were pleasantly surprised that he was behaving so well, considering he didn’t like Wade in the slightest. Well, he did but only because Wade seemed to make you happy. The audience full of friends and family became a blur as your father passed you to Wade, planting a firm kiss on your cheek. The pastor began speaking, the words going unnoticed by you. You were watching Wade with a gentle smile, him watching you in return. It was so seldom that you saw him like this, serious and attentive. No matter how he acted, you loved him more than anything. But it was moments like these that made you feel loved in return. Your mind tuned back in to the ceremony once the pastor asked, “Do you, Wade, take (Y/N) to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

“I do,” he smiled.

“And do you, (Y/N), take Wade to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

“I do,” you reciprocated his smile, your heart warming.

“And now the bride and groom will exchange vows,” the pastor announced. You breathed nervously, keeping your eyes locked with Wade as you began your vows.

“Today I fully and unconditionally give you my all; to be by your side through thick and thin. I vow to hold you when we go to sleep and kiss you when we wake up.” You let out a shaky breath, your heart singing in your chest. “Today, I become your soulmate. I am your best friend your confidant and your lover. Today I become your wife. We have been through so much and that is the past good and bad has made our love stronger every day. Today, we give ourselves to one another and we will continue to prevail, because the best is yet to come.” Another shaky breath as you continued. “I used to be afraid of falling in love, of giving my heart away. How could I trust a man to love me, to give to me all that I wanted to give to him?” Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest, your mind persuading him to understand the love you held. “Wade, when I met you, I realized how much we could share together. You have renewed my life: Today I join that life with yours.” Wade smiled, his hand squeezing your own.

“I want to thank you for coming into my life and for filling in the empty part of my heart.” He put his head down almost in shame before looking back up at you with a wide smile. “I used to be alone in my place, alone as I sleep, alone as I eat, and alone as I cry. I sat down on the table eating chimichangs, wishing that someday, somehow I could have somebody sharing the treat with me. Years past and yet, I still wake up with nothing but a pillow by my side.” His eyes were shining, tear glistening in the orbs. “I used to cry and wipe my tears alone because nobody would dare to do it for me. I never lost hope, though, that one day, someone would come and take my hand.” Your heart clenched tightly, your hand grasping his sweetly. “Here you are right now, right before me, true and real. I’m not afraid to cry anymore, not because you are there to wipe the tears away, but because I have you on my side tapping my shoulder, embracing me, sharing my very emotions. I’m not afraid to wake up anymore not because I know that I will wake up with you by my side. And most importantly, I’m not afraid to let myself love anymore because I know you’ll always protect my heart.” His breathing was becoming shakier, almost as if he was conveying his very emotions into every word. “I want to thank you, not only for finding and loving me, but for accepting ever one of my flaws, my weaknesses, and my strengths. But most importantly, I want to thank you for opening up to me, because I’d rather be alone in this life than be without you.” A happy laugh escaped your lips, a single tear rolling down your face. Wade didn’t look to be holding up much better, his tears shining bright in his eyes.

“Let us now exchange rings,” the pastor proclaimed, causing you and Wade to break eye contact. Widow walked down the aisle, a smirk on her face as she handed you both the rings. You two were never ones for normal, you mused. “These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as you build your future together. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and as in today, tears of joy. These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will help you to hold your family as one. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.” He looked to Wade with a soft stare. “Wade, place the ring on (Y/N)’s finger and please repeat after me.” Wade lifted the ring carefully, softly slipping it onto your finger. It had taken the two of you months to choose rings, finally deciding that a diamond-studded silver band with each other’s name engraved on the inside was the best choice. Wade echoed the pastor’s words, “I give you this ring as a symbol of my commitment to you. It has no beginning and it has no end. May its presence on your hand always remind you of my eternal love.” The pastor then turned to you. “(Y/N), place the ring on Wade’s finger and please repeat after me.” You slid the ring onto his finger effortlessly, keeping his hand in yours as you repeated the pastor’s words. “Wade and (Y/N), may you live happily ever after. May all your days be blessed with love and friendship. May each day and night of your lives be a new beginning,” the pastor paused, taking a breath. “By the power vested in me by the state of (Y/S), I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” Wade wasted no time, dipping you down and melting his mouth against your own. Your arms wrapped around his neck, your tongue moving against his own. It was a longer kiss than most people would probably have but you loved every second of it. When he finally pulled away, you smiled to him.

“I love you, (Y/N).” Wade whispered, his smile mirroring your own.

“And I love you, Wade Wilson.” The rest of the night passed in a blur. You’d had the reception, stolen a few kisses, had your first dance as husband and wife, cut the cake together, and then boarded the plane leaving for Moscow. Your head was resting on Wade’s shoulder, your hands intertwined.

“You can sleep,” Wade said, his voice sounding just as tired as you felt. “We’ve still got a ways.” You nodded against his shoulder, tucking yourself further into his side. He happily shifted himself to accommodate you. You made a mental note to thank Tony for loaning them a private jet as you drifted off, if he hadn’t, it would’ve been a lot more uncomfortable. It felt like it had only been a moment since you’d fallen asleep before Wade was pressing a kiss to your shoulder in an attempt to wake you up. If he’d done anything more abrupt, he probably would’ve been on the receiving end of your killer right hook. “We’re here.” He announced, lifting you out of the seat and walking. Wrapping your arms around him, you opened your eyes. “Hello there, sleepy head.”

“Hey,” you smiled, jumping out of his arms. Wade went to reach for his mask, your arm intercepting before he could grab it. “I told you to not even bother packing that.”

“I know.” He sighed. “I just don’t want to draw attention to us.”

“Oh yeah, cause a bright red mask is real inconspicuous.” You argued sarcastically. Moving closer to him, you wrapped your arms around his neck. “I want to spend the next two weeks with Wade Wilson not Deadpool.” He smiled genuinely, his forehead resting against your own.

“Why not both?” He asked suggestively. You rolled your eyes, planting a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Come on, the city awaits!” You called behind you, already rushing towards the car waiting for you two. He chuckled behind you, running to catch up. Once the two of you were situated comfortably in the car, your luggage in the back, the driver started up the route to Moscow. Ever since you were a kid, you’d always wanted to go to Moscow. With your line of work, you’d expect to have gone at least once. Wade was pleasantly surprised when he found out you’d never been there. You’d both agreed pretty quickly that Moscow was where you wanted the honeymoon. By the end of the day you and Wade had visited Moscow Kremlin, Red Square, Lenin’s Mausoleum, Kremlin Armoury, attended a show in Bolshoi Theatre, and taken a stroll through Gorky Park. It had been a wondrous day, filled with thrilling sights and laughter; although, more than a few times you had to be practically attached to Wade to keep warm. It might have been a better idea to come in the summer but you didn’t mind, loving being able to cuddle up to Wade throughout the day. You and Wade had settled down at a restaurant a few blocks from the hotel after the hunger became too apparent to ignore.

“Don’t like it?” You asked, your nose scrunched up in an adorable fashion. Wade was practically gagging, holding up one of the dozens of plates in front of him.

“If the person who created this dish is still alive, I’m killing them.” You laughed, watching him sort through the piles of plates. He’d ordered almost everything at the restaurant, claiming he had to try it all. For the last hour, you had been watching him react to each food while you ate your own dish. You’d finished eating a few minutes ago, opting to observe your new husband. He was so much more relaxed than normal. Usually he’d be a bit more closed off, wanting to avoid being seen in public with you without his mask. It pained you how insecure he could feel at times. As you thought about Wade, a pleasant scent assaulted your nose. It smelled like chocolate heaven. Turning your head, you kept your eyes trained on the desert as a waiter walked past with it. It was unlike anything you’d ever seen, sugary delicacies drizzled in the richest of chocolate. You licked your lips before biting your bottom lip. You really didn’t need that; you reprimanded yourself, looking back to Wade. You furrowed your brows, watching his eyes darken with lust.

“Wade?” You asked as his eyes were practically undressing you on the spot. With quick movements he threw a fist full of bills on the table and sprinted back to the hotel, your hand in his the whole time. “Wade, what are you doing?” He didn’t answer you, pulling you into the elevator with him. When an elderly gentlemen attempted to enter the lift, Wade glared at him, prompting him to let the doors close. “Wade, what the hell is go- ummf,” your question was interrupted by Wade’s mouth invading your own. He pushed you against the elevator wall roughly, lifting you up by your bottom to pull you closer. You could feel his arousal pushing into your middle in just the right place to make you moan. He thrust his body against yours, attempting to get you closer. There was a primal need in his kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth ruthlessly. You were practically putty under his ministrations, your breathing coming out in shallow pants. Grinding your hips against his own, you abandoned his mouth to let out another long moan. He dropped to your neck almost instantly, biting then soothing the spot with his tongue. “Wade,” you whimpered, grinding your front against his once again. He groaned, keeping you in his arms as you left the elevator towards your room. Honestly, you didn’t know if there were any people in the halls, but you couldn’t care less at this point. Wade had set you down while he searched for the key, fumbling with the lock. Being as impatient as you were, you rubbed your hands down Wade’s chest slowly. The longer he took, the closer you got to the spot he wanted you to be. You had just reached his stomach when he finally got the door open. Without warning, he pulled you into the room, slamming the door shut with your body. He once again began his attack on your mouth, being sure to stroke your tongue with his own. He practically ripped your shirt off, throwing it somewhere into the dark room. He stopped your attempts at getting his own shirt off by unzipping your jeans. He let out a frustrated growl when he couldn’t get them off fast enough. You helped him, chucking them behind the two of you as soon as they were off. His hands seemed to be everywhere, stroking your aching sex, pinching your hardened nipple, pulling your hip with a bruising grip. Your hands abandoned his shoulders, dropping down to get his pants off. Before he’d even gotten out of his underwear, you were stroking his straining erection. His movements faltered for a moment, a breathy groan torn from his throat. When he looked back up at you, his eyes were devoured by lust. He slipped his fingers under the waistband of your panties, throwing them off with practiced ease. Throwing his own underwear to the side, he lifted you up again. Your legs wrapped around his hips automatically, his hardened member already at your entrance. Without so much as a warning, he thrusted forward into your heat. You both moaned simultaneously, your lips meeting in another bruising kiss. He didn’t give you more than a few seconds before pounding into you with ruthless abandonment. The sound of skin slapping skin cocooned you as he slipped a finger between the two of you, circling it around your bundle of nerves. His breathing was in synch with his thrusts, the combining moans of the two of you creating a song of lust and passion. Your pleasure was building with each relentless thrust, your mind spinning and you pushed forward to meet each plunge. He sped his thrusts up, feeling the familiar knot of pleasure in the bottom of his stomach. You could’ve sworn you saw stars, a scream of his name leaving your throat as you hit your climax. Your wet heat tightened around him, bringing him closer. He’d continued with faster, harder thrusts as you pushed over the edge. With one, two, more thrusts, he was falling over with you. He groaned your name as his warm seed spread within you, his softening member still connecting the two of you. Your head had fallen on his shoulder, your breathing slowly returning to normal. After a moment of blissful silence, he pulled back, his eyes shining with adoration. You smiled to him, a hand rubbing his back.

“I love you.” He smiled, pulling out of you completely. You felt a sense of loss that always came when he wasn’t fully connected with you.

“I love you too.” You replied, pulling his head down to meet you in another kiss. It was soft and sweet, nothing like how he had been not minutes earlier. His hand trailed down your body, stopping to rest on your hip.

“Ready for round two, Mrs. (Y/N) Wilson?” He asked, a smirk on his face.

You answered with a matching smirk, “always.”

anonymous asked:

Oh wow thanks for reblogging the different religions' resources for LGBTQ+ folks. I'm definitely going to use it <3 (Oh and the tags were a gem btw gotta love funny pastor stories)

My pastor was the weirdest guy on this planet. He was an OLD, straight, white, cis male. But I have never met a more likable guy. One time he straight up threw somebody out of his church for saying something bad about muslims. And when me and the other kids asked him what they said he told us “It’s not worth repeating. They said it to get their message across, and by repeating and sharing it they’ve won.”

And I was like, “Woah, you’re really wise for a man who asked to be paid in fruit rollups.”

“e.g.” vs “i.e.” & Why You’re Using “i.e.” Wrong

So, back a while, my dad taught me the difference between i.e. and e.g. when listing examples in Latin. It’s one of those,  “oh dang well now I know” situations and I thought I might pass along the info.

e.g. = exempli gratia = “For example”

i.e. = id est = “That is”

BUT MIDNIGHT I THOUGHT I.E. WAS “FOR EXAMPLE”?

Nah. It ain’t. When you list examples with i.e., what you’re saying, whether you know it or not, is “only these examples”. For example, “She liked flowers. i.e., roses and carnations” means “She liked flowers, but only roses and carnations.”

When you use e.g. In the same manner, you’re listing examples. Using our example, “She liked flowers. e.g., roses and carnations”, that means “She liked flowers. For example,  roses and carnations.”

Originally posted by amseastan