36: Your eyes heavy, nightmares robbing you of sleep
Word Count: 815
A/N: i got a bit extra with this, i’m sorry, but this was so fun to write even though it’s an incoherent mess. thanks to @femilton for proofreading this trash heap <3
It’s 2:19 am and you’ve died four times in your dreams. Sleep toys at the edges of your mind, but the nightmares force it away until it’s nothing but a haze clouding your brain.
You want out. Out of the bed. Out of the dark.
Darkness is no friend to you, even with Lin breathing heavily as he sleeps beside you, only inches away.
You rub your eyes. Through the darkness, you can make out your boyfriend’s body, rising and falling in time with his breath. The outline of his face, the curve of his jaw.
And you’re not quite sure whether to wake him. It’s his house, after all. You’re sleeping here by invite only, and to wake him before the sun’s risen would surely be overstepping your boundaries.
At 2 in the morning, it’s certainly not the time. And Lin sleeps soundly, like the forest, like the trees. And you’re just a leaf rustling in the wind. Unimportant. Tiny. Trivial.
But Lin would care.
Hesitantly, you reach over and shake him lightly. A sleepy smirk draws itself out across his face, but he doesn’t stir.
“Lin?” Your voice trembles, and the world seems to tremble with it. “Lin, wake up.”
Eyes flutter open. Taking in as much as can be seen in the suffocating darkness. “(Y/N)?” It falls from his lips, hesitant but steady.
“I…” You trail off, letting the darkness swallow your voice
Lin stares at you. Stares and stares and stares. And finally, when he’s stared as much as he can and the silence has grown too thick to breathe, he speaks.
“Nightmare?” He throws the word out into the darkness and waits. Waits for it to twist it’s way through the night air to you. Waits for a response. Waits for everything to be okay.
And all you can do is nod. Words forever caught in your throat, stuck at the tip of your tongue. But words aren’t necessary. Not now.
Lin finds your hand in the darkness, like birds coming home, like a soft tide lapping over the shore. And time screeches to a halt around you. It’s you and him, hearts bound to the same rhythm, forever tied together. Two people, lives woven with the same thread, eternally.
“What happened?” he asks. Fingers toying at your hair. Brushing against your cheek.
“I- I was drowning, and it was… it was cold, and I couldn’t breathe, and then-” You stop. Cast your gaze down at the sheets. Out towards the moonlight, pouring in through the open window. Anywhere but Lin. “And then you were there,” you continue, your words falling out over each other. “And you were swimming, and I was drowning, and I tried to swim to you, but you… you ignored me. You let me drown.”
Lin gazed out at you through eyes blown wide. Bright and teary, and visible even in the darkness. The shaky breaths that preceded his words were, of course, to be expected. “(Y/N)…” he struggles to force out your name. Heavy. Trembling. “(Y/N), I would never… you know I would save you.”
“I… I know.” Your gaze shifts about the room. Wavering. Terrified.
Lin brushes his thumb over your fingertips and you feel electricity shoot through you. There’s always electricity when it comes to Lin. Even now, in the dead of night. “I would always save you. From anything, from anyone. That’s what you do when you love someone, isn’t it?”
Because Lin’s never said he loves you. Even now, he hasn’t said it.
But hasn’t he?
“That’s what you do when you love someone.”
“When you love someone.”
Love love love love lovelovelovelove lovelove love love lovelove love love lovelovelove love
And your heart’s racing and you grip Lin’s hand harder than could ever be necessary, because four letters, one word, has more of an effect on you than a nightmare ever will.
But you swallow your fears. Curl into Lin’s body. “And I’d save you right back,” you whisper.
Moments tick by. The air grows colder. Bitter. But Lin’s body pressed against yours is warm. His hands fumble with your hair, and you can feel his chest rising and falling with his breath. You’re safe, content. Because no harm could possibly come to you when he’s holding you with those arms and his breath hums in your ear.
It feels like bliss, like a light to guide you in the dark, like whatever the hell that four letter word means. Because you do love him, you love love lovelovelovelove love love love love lovelovelove love lovelove him.
More than you’ve ever loved anyone before.
“I love you,” you breathe.
A smile curls itself around Lin’s lips, parting slowly as the night nestles itself firmly around him. His voice is soft, hesitant words wavering through still air: