I’d just started high school (I was half way through grade 7, which was in the year of 2010, I believe) when I had the most horrible accident of my life: it was the accident that crippled me with chronic pain. It was the accident that’s prevented me from going to school for over four years - up until this very day - lost me most of my friends and stopped me from doing so many of the things I love and enjoy. I’d experienced pain before grade 7, but it was nothing compared to the pain I’ve endured throughout this whole horrible experience.
But this is where you fit in: for those four whole years (even though I’d discovered you the year before) your music has been one of my only saviours when it comes to dealing with pain. I can put in my headphones or blare your music out loud and somehow, that’s sometimes enough to help me through my utter hardest days. Your music is only of the only distractions that helps me through the worst.
Over these years, pain has stopped me from doing so much that I’ve lost so, so much muscle, which is why I have to try doing physio everyday. I haven’t had much motivation in doing that though, because not only is it one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, I don’t have much to look forward to in the future. But for once, this 2015, I finally have something extraordinary to work towards: the 1989 tour.
I’ve never booked a ticket for one of your concerts until now out of fear of not being able to go because of pain, but this year I am so determined to see you singing my favorite songs that I feel motivated like never before.
You alone have given me more hope than anything any family member or doctor could say, with your optimism, beautiful heart and outrageously amazing songs. I will get better to see you this December, Tay. Thank you for being one of the only people to put a smile on my face everyday, and thank you for giving me this gift of happiness and hope even after these four hard years.
Open Letter to Taylor Swift From a Disillusioned Fan
love you Tay, but what’s going on with you?
DEVINE AS TOLD TO NOELLE DEVOE JUL
once said, “People haven’t always been there for me, but music
has.” That quote has always been true for me when it comes to
you and your music.
listening to “Cold As You” through my first heartbreak to
dancing around my room to “Shake It Off’ after a bad day, I
could always turn to one of your songs when there was no one else to
doesn’t stop with listening to your albums, either. I’m a full-time
Swiftie. I’ve gone to three of your tours when you came to my state,
Massachusetts. I even traveled to Florida all by myself to see the
1989 tour. I stood outside in the freezing cold for ten hours in New
York to see you perform on New Year’s Eve. And then I watched the
1989 World Tour movie about 1,000 times because it reminded me of how
it felt standing in the crowd and taking in your amazing performance
live. I have waaaaay more
of your merchandise than one person needs.
for ten years, you’ve been my idol. You were someone I could turn to
at my lowest moments. In my eyes, you could do no wrong.
always wanted the best for you, so when you started dating Calvin
Harris, I was totally on-board. I loved you two together and watched
your relationship unfold for 15 months. I saw the romantic things you
did for each other and how supportive you were. I remember your
speech at the iHeartMusic Radio awards after you won Best Tour for
1989. You gave Calvin the most heartfelt shout-out.
had the most amazing person to come home to when the spotlight went
out and when the crowds were all gone," you
"I want to thank my boyfriend Adam for that.” It was so
#RelationshipGoals, I memorized it.
watching you go through so many relationships and getting your heart
broken over and over again, Calvin was like a breath of fresh air. I
actually became a huge fan of him thanks to you. So when the news of
your split first started to leak, I didn’t believe it. When Calvin
tweeted that it was true, I was devastated.
the one consolation in your breakup was that it seemed like you would
continue on as friends:Calvin
despite the split, what remained between you was a huge amount of
love and respect. You
So even though you wouldn’t be Tayvin anymore romantically, I was
comforted knowing you’d still continue on as friends.
that didn’t happen.
the past, whenever you broke up with a boyfriend or wrote a song
about an ex, I was the first to defend you against haters calling you
a “serial dater” or saying your songs calling out your exes
were unfair. You were just like me — someone looking to find love
and stumbling, getting your heart broken along the way. Why weren’t
you allowed to date, explore, and write about it without people
bashing you? I would too if I was a lyrical genius.
since your split from Calvin, I’ve been losing sight of the Taylor
I’ve grown to know, admire, and defend at all costs.
the news about your breakup was confirmed, I was surprised to see
pictures of you making out with Tom Hiddleston on a Rhode Island
beach splashed across every celebrity news website a little over a
week later. It wasn’t that you were moving on that was so shocking.
It was the way you were doing it that felt different.
were pictures of you with Tom in a handful of major cities in the
span of just a few weeks. I couldn’t understand how the girl who
wrote and performed “I Know Places,” a song highlighting
the fact that you could hide your relationship from the public if you
wanted to, was all of a sudden being photographed in intimate
situations more frequently than ever before.
couldn’t help thinking that if you still respected and loved Calvin
like you indicated on Twitter, then you would have been a little more
discreet. If you knew places, you must have forgotten where they
wasn’t the behavior I was used to seeing from you, and watching my
idol act in a way I didn’t recognize felt as real as losing a friend.
And it only got worse.
rumors first spread that you co-wrote Calvin’s hit song “This is
What You Came For,” I wondered if your own team had planted the
story — a suspicion that felt confirmed when your PR team released
a statement that you had been involved. The move felt shady: If you
and Calvin had, in fact, agreed to keep your collaboration under
wraps, it didn’t seem right for your team to A) suddenly take credit
without warning Calvin; and B) not refute the claims that his denial
of it was the reason you split.
felt like you were purposely trying to humiliate Calvin, someone you
said you “respected,” and using the press to do it. For the
first time, I felt like you were being unfair to an ex.
the nail in the coffin came when you insisted you didn’t approve
Kanye West’s “Famous” lyrics.
the song came out, I thought the lyrics were totally disrespectful. I
cheered your brother Austin on when he threw his Yeezys in the trash
on Instagram. I loved your Grammys speech calling Kanye out.
Kim leaked the tape and it proved you DID approve the lyrics. You
pointed out in your response that Kanye left out “that b****”
in the call, but that feels like a cop out. You approved the more
offensive lyrics that he was being dragged for in the press and you
didn’t say a word.
was flabbergasted. My literal reaction was: YIKES. What did you do,
Taylor? Why did you lie? As much as I hated admitting it, that’s what
you did. You lied. This was more than a misunderstanding — this was
you intentionally staying quiet when you could have spoken up. For
the first time, I couldn’t defend you.
makes me cringe to say it, but I see why people I would have called
haters six months ago said you were playing the victim. And that
realization makes me so, I don’t know… uncomfortable.
makes me unsure about things I was so sure of before. Like, why were
you so silent on social media accounts all the sudden? During your
1989 tour, you posted all the time, interacting with your fans. You
even liked some of my posts on Tumblr (a Tayvin one, at that). Once
your tour ended, you weren’t nearly as engaging with your fans.
don’t know what to think anymore. Part of me wants to call you up (in
my dreams, I have your phone number) and yell, “Dump your movie
star boyfriend and start being you again!” But then I remember I
want you to be happy, and if that’s with Tom Hiddleston, then fine.
want you to apologize for throwing Calvin under the bus in the press
and trying to make him look bad. It wasn’t cool. But you’re an adult
and you can take credit for whatever song you want without answering
to me, I guess.
wish you would own up and apologize for lying about approving those
Kanye lyrics. It stings, because you know how it feels to be dragged
through the press constantly. I never would have thought you’d let
someone else go through it unjustly. But you did, and it seems like
your image is more important to you than the truth sometimes. You
make mistakes. Mistakes that I can’t defend like I used to.
know not all Swifties share my opinion, but as you said, “you
don’t get to control someone’s emotional response” to watching
their hero fall in front of their eyes.
always going to love you, but you’re not the relatable girl I used to
know. We’re growing apart, and that hurts.
all that said, I still have your music. Like “Last Kiss,”
your song about having your last kiss with a boy you loved. It helped
me through the tragic loss of the boy that I loved.
may be changing, but you were just
like me at one point. I know I can still turn to those songs you
wrote when you were going through the good, the bad, and the ugly.
That’s the one thing that got me through this.
is a great deal about this that I disagree with vehemently, so I will
try to put my thoughts and on this matter in perspective without the
usual snark and bullshit push back that I reserve for the media
attacks on Taylor.
too am a full time Swiftie in fact I consider myself a Super-Fan
check it ts1989fanatic,
I am far older than most Swiftie’s in this fandom and not naive. I
know that Taylor Swift is not perfect the last perfect person to walk
the Earth could also walk on water, she is however someone who I
believe strives to live up to ideals that come pretty close to
Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris appeared to be as you put it
but as someone who has been married to the love of my life for 34
years, I can tell you from experience and a very long life (57 Years
Long sue me) that relationships take two people and a hell of a lot
of work from both those two people.
as fans tend to invest in those celebrities that we follow be that in
music movies TV or whatever the medium, but we only see what those
celebrities allow us to see or the bullshit that the media tend to
make up. We have know idea what caused the Tayvin breakup and
probably never will know.
yes when they split a lot of us were surprised or even shocked by it,
but like you many of us felt that at least they were parting on good
terms. Where I strongly disagree with you is that Taylor threw Calvin
under the bus, NOT
when the rumors first started to come out TMZ approached Taylor’s
people for comment and according to the initial article published
they received a no comment.
first confirmations came from Calvin himself with a couple of very
nice Tweets, this however soon turned rather nasty as Calvin took to
Twitter and went on a childish rant against Taylor, and if anyone was
getting thrown under the bus it was Taylor not Calvin.
then Calvin has continued with very petulant and immature behavior
while Taylor Swift has said bupkiss on the subject.
onto the Tom Hiddleston drama that you reference so disparagingly,
people move on sometimes quickly sometimes slowly, were you perhaps
expecting Taylor to mope around for months eating ice cream by the
tub full writing sad breakup or revenge songs (she’s
not a teen anymore she has grown up certain other parties from the
relationship need to do the same.)
find the double standard faced by Taylor Swift both amusing and sad
at the same time, Calvin Harris moved on with Taylor two weeks after
he broke up with his ex nobody said boo, yet when Taylor does the
same thing omfg the World was out to lynch her including members of
for the public displays of affection that Tom and Taylor have
displayed at the start of their relationship, have you considered
that Tayvin was not this open because one half of the relationship
was not a big fan of public displays of affection and was also very
media shy. Tom on the other hand is very much like Taylor loves the
interaction he gets from his fans is a very big SM junkie as is
Taylor, he is also not afraid to make fun of laugh at himself or be
laughed at for things like awkward dancing in front of the camera’s.
this mean that Tom and Taylor will last 15 months or longer like
Tayvin, who knows maybe yes and maybe no. The way I see this just as
a Taylor fan all I care about is her happiness, when Taylor and
Calvin became an item there was a lot of talk about Calvin’s past
behavior and I ignored it as it wast his past behavior and they
looked happy together that’s all that mattered to me.
for the girl who wrote I Know Places and Taylor hiding her
relationship from the public, why should she have to hide at all if
Taylor and Tom are comfortable enough with their relationship to show
it off to the entire WORLD
why should they not.
because you love and respect someone does not mean you have to live
your life like a hermit to protect an exe’s feelings, Calvin is a 32
year old man not a 10 year old child as he has been acting recently.
Taylor moved on Calvin should do the same and he should stop throwing
tantrums and shade.
way you addressed this entire issue lay’s all the blame for this
entire situation on Taylor and frankly I think you are way off base,
it takes to to tango just as it takes two to have a relationship and
as I said earlier we have no idea what, when or even why they split.
for responding to the regurgitated garbage you quote about the
KARTRASHIAN video, well you claim to be a Swiftie but you would take
Kartrashian’s highly edited piece of crap tape of 3.5 minutes of an
hour long phone call that was a setup from beginning to end over that
of Taylor that I find disappointing.
let me finish my response by stating for the record in my eyes and
most of this fandom Taylor has nothing to apologize for, not to
Calvin or Mr. Kartrashian in fact she is the one who should receive
an apology from certain parties.
doubt that you will read this and should you do so you may think my
response to your letter was out of line and not my business, as a
Swiftie we differ in that opinion.
Do you guys remember a couple of months ago when Taylor was all over the magazines and online and everywhere with lies written about her? What did we do? We defended her no matter what and always stayed by her side. Why have the tables turned? Some of you now are the ones making up the lies and putting Taylor down. Why? Why after everything Taylor has done for us would anyone, especially someone in the fandom, start telling Taylor that they hate her and want her dead? I just got out of work and come on and saw all this hate. I’m just in complete shock and keep asking myself why anyone would be doing this to Taylor, the nicest human being I’ve ever “met.” No matter how hard I think, I cannot come up with a single reason why. It just amazes me that after everything Taylor has done, all the time she has sacrificed for us, how much she has let us into her life, that people have the audacity to be mad at her. This whole situation is appalling and I’m sorry Taylor, if you are on, that you have to witness any of this. Just know that we really do love and care about you, more than you will ever know. As you said yourself, “haters gonna hate,” but I promise to love you and always be on your side. ❤️
TAYLOR ❤️ I am super excited to hear that you’re in Rhode Island! You haven’t seen my previous letter on my blog, but I explained that my husband and I just got stationed in Groton, Connecticut. We moved from our home in Charleston, South Carolina! We are about 20 minutes away from Watch Hill & that is so awesome! We are new to town so we haven’t made any friends & we’ve just been exploring what’s close. We went to to Mystic and had some ice cream at Drawbridge 💗 I’m writing this letter to maybe get your attention to ask you if you and Calvin would like to go to S&P Oyster Company for a dinner with my husband and I. It would be our treat and I think it’d be a fun double date! 😍 I know that is one of your favorite restaurants and we’ve been wanting to try it out! I mentioned in my last letter that I can’t afford to come see you on tour this year and I’m heartbroken so I figured I would give a shot to asking if you both would like to join us on a double date. My husband is in the Navy and will be heading on a submarine soon and a double date with you both would be a highlight to our lives! I hope you’re enjoying for vacation and pray you come across this and would like to take up the offer. And if you get a moment you should read my other letter on my blog to you! I love you Tay ❤️🇺🇸 taylorswift