Build from the selfless place inside of you that is not big or loud or selfish or proud. Build from that little spot inside of you that burns quietly and unceasingly for others. Remember: whatever is burrowed deep in one hungry soul is bound to be tethered to the hearts of many, many more.
sooo … i hit 1.8k which isnt a Milestone™ but it’s my first one since meetin new pals and my first one since i started watchin shadowhunters so i thought i’d do a little follow forever !! sorry for not makin a gif/graphic i’m just lazy
firstly, thanks to everyone who follows me !! so many of you have been here since way back when (merlin) and it has been lovely hanging with you over these years! i love each and every one of you xx
next, a few special mentions:
@sircolinmorgan : hannah, we’ve been mutuals since i was what.. 13? 14? that is like … a long time. it’s so weird that we’ve known each other for fiveish years, but it’s been fiveish awesome years! thanks for putting up with me, especially since i probably fill your dash (and twitter feed) with stuff you don’t care about (read: shadowhunters and harry styles). merlin was a fun time (except christmas day 2012 rip) and i love that i can always rely on your tumblr to update me on colin morgan’s career!! it’s been such a joy getting to know you over the years; thank you for being an awesome person! lots and lots of love, always x
@daddarioswife dani !!! where do i start?! you’re the thirstiest, loveliest angel i have ever had the pleasure of meeting on here, and you’re so lovely to me and to everyone! thank you for bein an absolute dream to talk to and an all-round angel!! ❤️
@magnificentmalec sarah you are quite simply an amazing person!! a pretty recent mutual but one of my favourite people no less. you always fill my dash with positive vibes and love x
to all my mutuals and followers in general: i have no idea why u all follow me, but thank you so much! lots and lots of love
and now, into my follow forever. some of you i’ve been following since way back when, and others only for like .. three days, but all of you make my dash a better place and i have nothin but love for you all:
Yangyang Mobile has come out with a truly great horror visual novel called The Letter, and I urge anyone with a fondness for VN to give it a try.
It has compelling characters, great art, amazing atmosphere, and a mystery that’s fun and engaging till the end. It’s also loooooooong and has loads of replay value, so you’ll definitely get your money’s worth. Plus, it’s fully voiced 😱
I usually don’t promote games, but if you want to support the indie game community and have a great time, I can’t recommend the letter enough.
(Y/N), everyone says you only fall in love once, but that’s not true. Because every time I see you I fall in love all over again. I love that feeling I get when I see your smile. I love that feeling I get when you talk to me. I love that feeling I get when you around me. I love you for all that you are, all that you have been and all you’re yet to be. You are something special and happy to have you in my life. Someday I’m going to be brave enough to confess my feelings from face to face. Until then I’m going to enjoy every moment I have with you. In Love, your awkward dork
Dear (Y/N), you mean so much to me. You are the last thing I want to lose. You are the thought I wake up to, and the thought I fall asleep to. You make me feel so happy and cared for. If you thought differently, well, you are wrong. I want to keep you in my life for as long as possible. I’m sorry that I took so long to realize it. It’s you. It’s always been you. I need you, because you make me laugh more than anyone else and I’m the best me when I’m with you. Because when you are gone nothing feels right until you return. I love you from the bottom of my heart! Me
Lovely (Y/N), someone who really loves you sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, how hard you are to handle, but still wants you in their life. That’s exactly what I want. I just want you. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything that’s typical for you. Everything. I just want you. I will never let you fall. I will stand up with you forever. I will be there for you through it all. No matter what’s going to happen. I feel in love with you. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. I just did and I’m happy about it. The friend by your side…
Troublemaker, you are the peanut to my butter, water to my ocean, glaze on my donut, spring in my step, twinkle in my eye, blue in my sky, cherry to my sundae, flip to my flop, milk to my cookie, sweet in my dreams, cheese to my macaroni, best to my friend, love of my life. I don’t mind when our conversation get a little boring or when we are texting and we run out of things to say. I don’t care when we are hanging out but doing nothing, because just having you is enough to make me happy. You changed my entire life. I think you have no idea how fast my heart is racing when I see you. I love you! Your secret admirer
(Y/N/N), There is something I want to tell you for a long time now, but I’m too shy to look into your perfect face and tell you what I’m feeling. Truthfully, I could talk about you all day and all night and I’d still have a million more things to say. But too many words become meaningless, so I’ll just leave it at you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met, and I can’t imagine not having you in my life. If I had to choose between breathing and loving you, I would use my last breath to say “I love you!”. I know I’m being cheesy, but it’s true I’ll never find anyone quite like you. Apart from this, I can’t stop thinking about your sweet smile. A girl in love
Love of my life, I wish you would listen closer to the songs I play, because the lyrics speak the words I fail to say. I’m not brave enough say you what I feel from face to face. I don’t know how you do it, but no matter what kind of mood I’m in, you always manage to make me smile. Somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights, and all our lame jokes I feel in love. You are the smile to my face and the beat to my heart. When I see your eyes, it’s like falling in love all over again. I want to run away with you where there is only you and me. Please, be the Bonny to my Clyde! Someone near you
Owner of my heart, it’s crazy, because I don’t even know when you became so important to me. You are all I honestly think about. No one else. I want you. Only you. I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned. I have strong feelings for you which I’ve never felt before. I get jealous, I get mad, I get worried, that’s only because I love you and don’t want to lose you. You are my only choice, because no one else makes me happy like you. I don’t know how, but you make me smile and laugh. With you everything makes perfect sense. I am not the best, but I promise I will love you with all my heart. The “Bitch”
My best friend, my love for you is endless. You are the one I want. You fill my heart with happiness and you make me feel alive. I look into your eyes and see what we will be. I’m content with being with you forever happily. I just want to be with you, that’s all. Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale. (Y/N), you are my fairy tale. I feel in love with you, because you loved me when I couldn’t love myself. You are the best thing that happened to me. I think I love you a little bit more every day. You are not just a star to me, you are a my whole sky. The shy butterfly
My destiny, first things first, you look super cute when you smile. I just want us to happen. Last night phone calls, nicknames, teasing and taking care of each other, random text messages, celebrating anniversaries, meeting each other’s family and friends, hugs and kisses, making fun of each other, hanging out. Just us. Together, I’m yours and you are mine! You are the reason why I love to go to school. Talking to you make my day so much better. Laughing with you completes me. Being by your side makes me happy. Seeing your smile makes me feeling special. I really believe you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. You changed my life. You are the reason why I love to go to school. Your fate
For someone special, I love you and every unspoken word you’ve ever thought. My love for you is as indefinite as the sea, and as cast as the galaxy which we know so little of. My love for you continues to grow just as the roots of a tree grow beneath the soil. I bask in the warmth of your skin, and drown in the presence of your voice. Your laugh is the harmonious sound of joy that makes my skin tingle. You are the constant thoughts that circulate my mind, and in every dream I have, I hope to see you. You are the comfort to my pain, and the brightness to my life. I am a fool for you, and I’ve fallen in a deep hole of endless love for you. Someone who loves you
Hey do you have any recommendations for self improvement books? Or even novels of any genre that teach you something that you can apply to creating a better life?
I have to admit that I am not one for the typical self-help book. I find most of them patronizing or just saying the same thing over and over again. I tend to get most of my advice like this from memoirs or fiction, so I’ll include some of those and why!
1. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling- I choose this one because she does have some good advice on following your dreams and adulting- and it’s pretty funny!
2. Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi - Always inspirational to me to see people overcome tremendous odds and it shows the power of literature!
3. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak- I feel like so much can be learned from this book. I love it so much.
4. If You Find This Letter by Hannah Brencher- This made me want to go out and change the world. Does have a heavy Christian lean if that isn’t something you are looking for!
5. Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld- Inspired me to become more creative -write more and read more!
To somebody who owns her own world. To somebody who’s intelligent yet insane. To somebody who can do anything: can sing, dance or act. To somebody who is too curious on stuff and won’t stop until she gets what she wants. To somebody who loves spending her time in front of the mirror, looking at her face and putting something.To somebody who would look at her face for at least ten times a day. To somebody who would persuade you to do things. To somebody who’s never tired of proving her point. As long as she believes in it, she would always explain it. To somebody who loves spending money as long as it isn’t hers. To somebody who was there for me when I needed her the most. To somebody who I can never get tired of. To somebody who annoys me as much as I annoy her. To somebody whom I can’t say NO. To somebody who accepts me for who I am. To somebody I treasure the most. To somebody I will always be proud of. To somebody whose birthday is today. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. <3
Hi Bestie!!!!!!!!!! It has been a rough day for me because I was trying my best not to greet you! Thank God I was able to resist that urge. Happy seventeenth birthday, dearest bestie!!!!!! Only God knows how grateful I am to have you(and via) as my BESTESTESTESTEST FRIENDS. Writing a letter for you and posting it on Facebook with a collage of our pictures together would be a mainstream deed that’s why I’ll rather make a textpost here for you.((still mainstream i know)) I do not have any idea how my life would really be without you as my best friend. You know what I mean. We never quarrelled. WE MAY ARGUE A LOT BUT IT NEVER CAME TO A POINT WHERE WE WONT TALK TO EACH OTHER. The both of us couldn’t stand not talking to each other. We have endless conversations whenever we’re together. We have the same tastes and such. I do not know but maybe our trio, you via and me, is a match made from heaven. Quit acting like a bitch without us. WE DO IT ALTOGETHER.OKAY. After all what have happened, here we are studying in the same university yet we don’t see each other as often as we want!!!!! Dem schedules however, we can meet as long as we fix our freakin’ schedules.
Bianca, I THANK YOU SUPER SUPER FOR EVERYTHING. A thank you would never be enough but THANKYOU FOR STAYING BY MY SIDE. For being that someone who stood by my side when I was about to fall. Thank you for the advices and for defending((not a right term)) me. Should I say sorry? I have done nothing against you. Aha. But yeah.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE AND IM REALLY HOPING YOU HAD A GOOD ONE. I love you to the moon and back and if ever you will need me, I’ll be here. I WILL LISTEN AND IF I NEED TO SLAP YOU, I WILL DO TOO.
Please stay sweet and clingy and caring and pretty((eventho you’re not))
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW. But kuya brian ehem ehem. I know. I won’t argue. But please. LET HIM BE YOU HAPPY EVER AFTER. ((HUWOW)) I don’t want you getting sad and hurt and crying over the phone. ((SOMETIMES I JUST WANNA LAUGH AT YOU BUT IM A GOOD FRIEND EHE))
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN AND IM REALLY HOPING THAT YOU WOULD NEVER CHANGE.
At some point, there needs to be some sort of expiration date for how long you want to limit yourself. At some point, you need to be willing to back burner your fears and your perceived inadequacies about yourself so that you can become who you’ve always wanted to be.
never seen Hannah like that before. She laughs at everything and does whatever
she wants, like she’s not afraid of anything. Like nothing can hurt her. But
this was different” (97). // “I think he really wants to be a musician, but not
just because he wants to be famous. He wants to be one because of what Slash
said, about how being a rock star is the intersection between who you are and
who you want to be […]. I think a lot of people want to be someone, but we are
scared that if we try, we won’t be as good as everyone imagines we could be”
Taurus: “All of a
sudden we were out of the lot and on the highway next to the mountains, flying.
I put my hand out the window, then I put my head out. I felt my hair blow
behind me and the air rush into me, and I forgot for a moment to worry about
how I was supposed to be. Because I was perfect right then. Everything was. And
Sky was a perfect driver. Not scary. Just steady. And fast. I wanted the music
to last forever” (61). // “Hannah acts fearless, but you can tell that
underneath, she keeps secrets / She’s the sort of girl who guys fall in love
with, but she doesn’t act like a pretty girl. She acts like she’s trying to
find a way out of herself” (28-9).
learned right away that applause sounds like love” (9). // “When you became an
actor, you had the ability to dissolve your own personality and inhabit any
character. You were brilliant at it. We can lose ourselves, I guess. And you
used that. You found the magic in it” (134).
draws pictures on her arms. Not just normal hearts, but meadows with creatures
and girls and trees that look like they are alive. She wears her hair in two
braids that go down to her waist, and everything about her dark skin is
perfectly smooth […]. She passed me a note yesterday with just a little smiley
face on it” (7). // “She was the bright spark of the family, the one who
everyone relied on to shine, the one who tried to keep everyone from fighting”
Leo: “But the
thing about May is that she was beautiful, in a way that stays in your mind.
Her hair was perfectly smooth, and she walked like she belonged in a better
world” (3). // “Even though I don’t think I can ever write a poem as good as
yours, it made me think that maybe I can do something with all of the feelings
in me, even the ones that are sad and scared and angry. Maybe when we can tell
the stories, however bad they are, we don’t belong to them anymore. They become
ours. And maybe what growing up really means is knowing that you don’t have to
just be a character, going whichever way the story says. It’s knowing that you
could be the author instead” (300-1).
Virgo: “If beauty
is truth, and if truth is beauty, they are defined by each other, so how do we
know the meaning of either? I think that we make our own meanings, by putting
ourselves into them. I put the moon over the street lamp into the idea of
beauty, and I put the feeling of Sky’s heartbeat like moths wings, and I put
Hannah’s singing voice, and I put the sound of my footsteps running after May
along the trail by the river, chasing the sky” (110). // “After something
really bad happens, the next worse thing is people feeling sorry for you about
it. It’s like confirmation that something is terribly wrong” (191).
understood then, at least a little bit, why Hannah always has a boyfriend or
sometimes more than one. I think she needs people to love her and give her
attention […]. Once you’re afraid of one thing, you can get scared of a lot of
stuff. In school, the teachers tell Hannah, ‘Don’t waste your talent.’ But she doesn’t
turn in her papers or anything. She acts annoyed that they care about her, like
she doesn’t trust it. Even if she can laugh at everything and have as many
boyfriends as she wants, I think Hannah must be afraid” (98-9). // “I know that
it can be hard to believe that someone loves you if you are afraid of being
yourself, or if you are not exactly sure who you are” (145).
all of us standing there together […], I realized that there is a reason that
we were all there—we are each weird in a different way, but together, that’s
actually normal. And even if there’s a lot that I can’t say to them, it feels
good to belong somewhere” (46-7). // “I thought about how for a long time, I wanted
to be soaring above the earth. I wanted Sky to see me as perfect and beautiful,
the way I saw May. But really, we all just have these blood and guts inside of
us. and as much as I was hiding from him, I guess part of me also always wanted
Sky to see into me—to know the things that I was too scared to tell him. But we
aren’t transparent. If we want someone to know us, we have to tell them stuff”
is one of my favorite holidays. Christmas and the others can end up making you
sad, because you know you should be happy. But on Halloween you get to become
anything that you want to be” (91). // “I still don’t know how to make sense of
the world. But maybe it’s okay that it’s bigger than what we can hold on to.
Because I think that by beauty, you don’t just mean something that’s pretty.
You mean something that makes us human” (111).
Amelia Earhart]: “I remember when I first learned about you in social studies
in middle school, I was almost jealous. I know that’s the wrong way to feel
about someone who died tragically, but it wasn’t so much the dying I was
jealous of. It was the flying, and the disappearing. The way you saw the earth
from the air. You weren’t scared of getting lost. You just took off” (18). // “The
air makes way for him when he walks through it. But also how there is something
fragile like moths inside of him, something fluttering. Something trying
desperately to crowd toward a light” (104).
big eyes look like she’s always seeing something incredible. Her lips look like
she’s half smiling at something that no one else could get” (21). // “I felt
something between us shifting, like the hidden plates of the earth. You think
you know someone, but that person always changes, and you keep changing too. I
understood it suddenly, how that’s what being alive means. Our own invisible
plates shifting inside of our bodies, beginning to align into the people we are
going to become” (296).
Pisces: “I turn
myself invisible so I can just watch” (4). // “’What I told you about saving
people isn’t true. You might think it is, because you might want someone else
to save you, or you might want to save someone so badly. But no one else can
save you, not really. Not from yourself,’ he said. ‘You fall asleep in the
foothills, and the wolf comes down from the mountains, and you hope someone
will wake you up. Or chase it off. Or shoot it dead. But when you realize that
the wolf is inside you, that’s when you know. You can’t run from it. And no one
who loves you can kill the wolf, because it’s part of you. They see your face
on it. And they won’t fire the shot’” (227).
Even though love covers all things, fear is what keeps us silent and keeps words unsaid. Fear keeps us standing in one place. Eventually, when it wins, it means we never got the courage to say what we needed to say.
Some people are dotted lines and other people are destinations. Some people get you somewhere and some people are just a place to be, all in themselves. But you cannot force those dotted lines into destinations.
When I first heard he loved you, I knew it was true,
knew that my bruised knees and blue eyes and blurred oceans
were not enough for him. And maybe you were.
I knew it was true that beauty couldn’t buy love,
but I put on more blush. But I hated you. But I laid in bed at night at willed your teeth to rot.
I compared the size of our guts, and our hair, and our luck. But the sun set
and I went down with it.
In the mornings I would wake up uglier,
and you would wake up in his bed. I love to suffer.
I would picture your kisses in my head, make up pet names, wake up dead.
In the mornings you would be at home and he would be happy.
For months, I couldn’t figure out why he didn’t love me.
The calculations were so
ungodly. I’ve seen all the movies. I have short skirts and glitter,
“but he chose her.
He chose her.”
And I’m sorry, but by all rules of science that doesn’t make sense.
I felt your presence in the shower, in my morning coffee,
in the moments of silence to mourn solders and dead men.
Dead bugs circled the drain,
it rained every day for three weeks straight.
I started baking cookies and I tried to change my name.
When he called me, I could hear your heavy breathing in the background.
And I’m sorry.
For months I was so angry. I grew crystals on my kitchen counter
just to crush them. I told my mom that I had a new boyfriend.
I drank to get sick to have an excuse to stay in bed all day Sunday,
and sometimes Monday too. I hated you. I hated him.
I hated my thin fingers and holding my own hands.
For months I played the victim. But you woke up wrapped around him
and I woke up in my own head, a vomit stained bed, a sickness.
The truth is,
you are beautiful. And I am beautiful too.
And he wanted you. And that’s fine. I can’t hate you for having what I want to be mine.
I can’t hate him for loving. I can’t blame fate or time.
The truth is that sometimes, love just isn’t right.
And I love him. I love you. I love the way it feels
to apologize. I wake up in the morning,
and paint. The truth is, you deserve him. And I deserve these weeks alone
to work on curbing my envy. To work on waking up happy.
My friends tell me he’s a wild card: to warn you
He’ll Hurt You Too,
and maybe that’s true. But I’m sorry. I don’t wish that for you.
There are rows of dead things in my garden.
I think I’ll replant them.
Letter For The Girl He Loves More Than Me; Hannah Beth Ragland