love letters acceptable

I’m slowly coming to accept that you’ll always have a big impact on my life – even though you’re no longer in it. Meeting you changed me as a person and so it’s natural to expect that you’re always going to affect the way I think and feel about things. I have accepted that there are going to be reminders and that they’re going to make me sad… but forgetting you is not an option because there were so many positive things you brought into my life that I wouldn’t change for the world and I try to hold onto those because they’re worth saving…
And I hope that somehow you know that you’ll always mean something to me – even if I don’t mean anything to you anymore. I hope you know that I will always love you… in some way… in some form… But most of all, I’d like to think that I still impact your life in a positive way, even after all this time. I’d like to believe that every once in a while when you think of me; it’s not with regret… but with a smile…
—  Ranata Suzuki  Gone but not forgotten

me always when I reach out through text posts to my followers/mutuals:

The most beautiful letter to Santa I’ve ever seen, written by a fourth-grade boy. Full text:

Dear Santa,

I wish for everyone to have equality[–] black, white, brown, gay, transgender, and every other race. I wish for familys [sic] to love each other even if their [sic] trans or gay. I wish for no shootings, no hate, and no racism. My big sister[’s] name is Molly. She used to be called Sam but she came out as trans [when] she was 18. She took hormones that made her look and sound more like a girl. Luckly [sic] my family and I accepted her, but some familys [sic] are not like that[.] [P]eople have killed their children because of them being transgender or gay. I want that to stop, and start the love.

Love, B

He read the letter aloud to his class and made his teacher cry. You and me both. (via the Huffington Post Gay Voices)

If there was one thing I wish someone would have told me a decade ago it’d be this, learn to appreciate everything. Learn to be grateful for the less obvious things. Don’t get hung up on things that happen on a day to day basis that won’t matter a year from that moment. If you actually take notice most of the things people get so crazy and upset about won’t. They just won’t. Take responsibility for your part in your emotional well being. Nobody can fix or save you, only you can fix and save yourself but don’t discount the people that hold your hand through all those moments of finding yourself and your own personal happy. Don’t diminish their offers to help you even if they may seem goache give them the benefit of the doubt they’re more than likely very sincere. Not all peole know how you need them to handle you during your time of need.  They do however know how to say something kind or do something for you that you might overlook.  Don’t take the people in your life for granted because it’s cliche and all but you truly don’t know what you got till it’s gone and sadly that’s a lesson time teaches to us all, on more than one occasion. If i could tell myself something ten years ago I’d say, for every one thing that creates an angry, sad,scared, confused, hurt emotion find one thing that is good, positive, uplifiting in your bigger situation. If you can find a silver lining find it. Even If you don’t share it cause it’s morbid or you don’t think anyone else will get it, you will.  And that’s all that really matters.  I would guarantee that if you took more stock in the positive rather than the negative even if the negative seems overwhelming, you will be happier. You will become more positive without even noticing.

Don’t bring work home and don’t bring home to work. Old saying but oh so true. You can be mad at your employer or your co worker or even the environment in which you work.  Just because your work environment may not be perfect and sterile doesn’t mean your house will be when you get there but notice how your cabnits are stocked or how there is someone waiting inside the door for you. Just beacuse your co-worker had something slick to say to your boss behind your back doesn’t mean your girlfriend husband or partner is doing the same thing. Quit being paranoid and over zealous it’s just unnecessary aggravation to your atmosphere and to the people you interact with that are supposed to mean so much more to you than any stupid on the job person.

Last but not least of tell myself to be gentle. To control my emotions. Someone can piss me off or hurt me all day long but how I choose to react or use that energy is my decision. I’m not saying that I can go around hurting people and saying well it’s not my problem because they can’t handle it. No, I am saying be gentle with people and even if you do cross someone or hurt someone make sure you know where you were coming from. Make sure to apologize for the moments you are human and do sling mud or let hate come out. Be at peace though after you do make that mends. For example, my friend could tell me that they are making a choice I am firmly against. I can be open honest and share my reasons without apology. I can also choose not to judge my friend even though our views different but if my friend responds in anger or judgement for my beliefs, then I have to remember that is the way they are dealing with what I said and let it go. Let it go, let it go, let it go!

Another example my friend can say, “I’m really pissed off at John because he owes me money and I’ve been calling and calling with no response.”

I say, “that’s not right, maybe johns just busy and he will get with you as soon as he can, maybe it’ll be fine and there’s a reasonable explanation.”

My friend responds by saying, “you are always taking up for John, do you know something I don’t, I just get screwed by everyone.”

I could argue their statement and views and judgement or I could simply see that this is the way they are choosing to look at the situation, (their situation) and that to argue their perception would be futile.

So I simply say, “I’m sorry you feel that way about the situation.”

Taking this attitude does not make you cold or emotionless. This saves your peace. It saves potential unnecessary arguing and potential hurt feelings or even ruined relationships.

If my friend is truly my friend they will take their opinion which is different than mine and see they are different and we can move forward.

But someone who hasn’t learned to take responsibility for their emotions may say that by not getting emotionally involved in their situation or your lack of support for their side is heartless. I assure you it is not!

Be confident. Be true to yourself. Be gentle with others. Don’t ruin your happiness by rolling in mud.

Will it matter in a year?  Probably not.  

—  Me
I asked you to hold me,
and you did -
every time.
Sliding your fingers down my back and tracing my spine.
I opened like a book a sighed into your neck,
a single tear hitting the floor until you kissed away the rest.
—  fall

Falling in love with you wasn’t the first thing to came up in my mind, i didn’t fall in love with you because you told me that i liked you or just because you kissed me, that’s where all started.
I fell in love just because you made me feel in some other type of way and its not all the cheesy things people use to say every day like “the way you kiss me” “when you call me every night just because you can’t sleep” No. I did not fall in love in this way, i fell in love in a different but unhealthy way, crazy but anxious way, tender but so unreasonable. It’s crazy but it makes sense, i just cant describe, it feels different, complete.
You start feeling anxiety, not because you want to make everything fine, you start feeling it because this you’re having in your chest is not normal it doesn’t feel okay or good, it feels awesome there but you get so anxious just because is not usual.
I didn’t fall in love with you just because you never made the conversations at night with your crazy nicknames, No. I fell in love because you just called me at 3:00 am to tell me that you never thought that you would call someone at some random time like you just did, or just because you needed to hear my voice and give you some advice on things you were thinking at that time.
I didn’t fall in love because i wanted, i never did actually. It just happen and that’s the thing; we might some time need to stop searching things we don’t even know, maybe its the time when you stop and say ” ok I’m going to do this just because i want and it’ll be okay, I’m not going to do it because someone else want”. The thing, is that you made me realize that, you made me realize that i don’t need the things i want, its all better by surprises when you don’t know and whoa made your mind blow, you made me realize that i deserve opportunities, second chances, smiles, sad things, problems just to make clear that someone is going to be there, not who you wanted but someone who’s going to teach you another thing you didn’t know.
Maybe I didn’t fall in love before, but i fell for you.
—  Love and controversy letter to you
#bodposfeb 11: Write a body positive letter to your past self

Dear past-self,

I know things are pretty rough right now, and you aren’t feeling very positively towards yourself. You feel like you will never meet up to expectations, and that you will never be worthy of the love of those that you care about. You feel overwhelmed and inadequate, and you are treating your body with so much hate. I don’t want to invalidate your feelings, but I have to tell you that you are completely and absolutely wrong.

I won’t waste my time telling you that you are beautiful; you won’t believe me, even though it’s true. Instead, I need you to know that you are enough. You are kind, intelligent, loyal and a hundred other things more important than the way you look. Your friends and family love you, and they will not love you any less if you eat more. It’s time to leave the sadness behind and get angry about the unrealistic beauty standards and sexism in our society. 

The good news is that you will begin to believe all of this in just a few years. You will be able to eat without feeling guilty, and will be able to go to your friends’ birthday parties without dreading the birthday cake. You will be strong and healthy, and will become a source of inspiration to others struggling with the very same issues you are facing now. Best of all, I promise you that letting go of your self-loathing and anxiety surrounding food will make you happy in a way that losing weight never will. 

With love and forgiveness,

Your future self

Remember to share your letters under #bodposfeb!

One day I decided I would love myself the way I loved everyone else.

It wasn’t a decision I came to easily or quickly.

It took me years to understand and I finally won myself over. I finally saw enough proof that I was worthy of my own love.

Since that day, I have found others who love me the way I love myself.

They love my quirkiness and my enthusiasm to love and be loved. They ask nothing of me except for me to be myself.

I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to have space to be me and to be loved unconditionally.

I urge you to convince yourself of your own love. Win yourself over and decide you are worthy of your own love.

It will be not only the beginning of a new love story with yourself, but it will be the beginning of everything you ever thought would never happen.

—  Yasi Nafisi
How to really live…

“Thanks for everything, from the heart. You’ve made me the happiest man in the world today and for the past 17 years. You have no idea how proud I am to be a Barça player.” -Xavi (2015)

Graham Hunter (2012): Most of the players call him “Maki”, which is short for maquina, machine in Spanish. It’s such a prosaic, industrial nickname for such an inventive player, but there is a warm and positivity attached to it. Xavi is always working, always smiling, and always having a playful verbal dig at someone. Perpetual motion. His passes come off an incessant production line. So, there you have Xavi – fun to watch, fun to be around. Sublime player, top man. A footballer who epitomizes what has gone right about Barcelona over the last decade.

Ph: David Ramos 

just know
if the ghosts 
are still haunting you 
i loved you 

just know 
when you spend days
thinking what could’ve been
i loved you 

just know
when you said 
you could cure me 
i loved you 

just know 
when i told you 
about my darkest nights 
i loved you 

just know
when i whispered 
to you about my demons 
i loved you 

just know
i wasn’t the problem 
i was going through a storm
but i didn’t need a fix

just know
i wasn’t your mother's 
unfulfilled dreams
or your father’s ego 
to fix

just know 
you fall in love 
not to keep track of bruises 
but to embrace it 

just know 
goddamn it 
i loved you so much 
despite everything 

just know 
you might have
treated me as a math problem
but you were my solution

just know 
you were my everything 
you loved me 
only because i was a challenge 

just know 
i love you 
i loved you 
i still love you 

just know 
in another universe 
we still hold hands
and watch sunsets 

just know 
i am sorry 
you never found 
anyone else to fix 

just know 
love is not a game of fixing 
it’s not about curing
you accept the person 

for who they are

—  k, letters she wrote part 9