what’s in my mind...
is hard to explain.
i’m in a state of mind where i get ideas - that appear through visions i see at random times, like at dinner, or during tests at school - and they don’t leave. they only leave if use an outlet, that being writing or music. but even sometimes, i can’t let out the idea. i need the idea to be played out visually before it can leave my head. before i can rest peacefully.
i don’t know how to handle it. sometimes the visions become overwhelming. even to the point where i can’t sleep at all. last night was a night where i couldn’t sleep. i woke up every 5-10 minutes.
i have certain visions in phases. right now, for example, i’m having visions about exploring. the one imagine with corbyn and going through a mirror maze was a vision i had at my friend’s house at the dinner table. i can’t control the visions too well. i’ve learned through the months ever since they stared how to push them away during important times like if i’m reading aloud in class.
it’s frustrating. most of the time, i’m incapable of letting the ideas out. some ideas just do not leave. it hurts me sometimes.
i get visions i want to share, but no one understand or cares.
i’d edit them out, but i can’t. i’d direct a film that shows what i envision, but that’s obviously not possible. i’d write them out, but it’s too complex to write. i’d sing or play it out, but the vision wouldn’t be completely imaginable with only notes.
i don’t know why i wanted to share this, but here i am so. i don’t know what’s going on with me.
i need help, i just don’t know what kind.