day, another airport. Jenna feels like she at an airport every other day
lately. She doesn’t really mind but still it can get kind of old. She can’t
find the healthy food she wants at the airports. Plus, the more she’s at an
airport, the less time she’s with the people she loves. Lately though, every
time she gets off an airplane, she’s going to see someone she loves. She was in
Utah seeing her family. When she went back to LA, she was dropping off luggage
and packing a small bag for Vegas where she is catching up with Val, Nicole,
has just taken a seat at her gate. She stopped to get a water bottle for the
plane. It’s a short trip but it will help her say no to the soda cart. She
brought some of her own snacks as well. She made it through the airport without
being stopped. It usually helps when she wears shorts, a t-shirt, and hat with
her hair in a ponytail. It’s not that she doesn’t want to meet her fans. She’ll
gladly meet them if and when she’s spotted but airports are the hardest because
once she stops once, more people come and then she’s more likely to be late,
which she usually can’t afford.
pulls out her book she brought for the plane and starts to read until her phone
goes off, signaling a text. She puts her book mark back in, looking around her before
picking up her phone.
Did you take off yet?
No. still sitting at the gate. Not even on the plane yet.
Bummer. When will you land?
Not soon enough. I just want to be there already. I’m tired of flying.
I know. Only one more for the summer after this. We’ll be in one place for a
In one place but back to the working grind.
We’ll be able to handle it.
We’re about to board. I’ll talk to you soon, love.
See you soon babe. Have a great flight.
Vegas, Val is at his hotel, lying in bed still. His class isn’t until tonight
and Jenna won’t arrive until lunch time so he has some time to kill. He knows
he needs to hit the gym. He could go for a swim too but it’s too hot out. He
decides to hit the gym first. He is just getting changed when his phone starts
ringing. He’s confused since he knows Jenna is on her flight so it can’t be
her. He couldn’t think of who else might be calling him. It’s Nicole.
sure are. I was just packing a few things. I just wanted to make sure
everything is good.”
Jenna is on her way. She’s in the air now.”
I talked to the photographer. He’s all set for Sunday. The rental space is all
ready for us. I’ll meet the crew that morning to set up.”
rock. We’re so excited.”
so glad you two are doing the shoot. You two are my favorite.”
You’re our favorite.”
so glad you two are together again. I was so mad…”
know. Everyone was. I was stupid. I get it. We’re both passed it now. Everyone
I didn’t mean…”
I’m sorry. It’s just everyone brings up my stupidest mistake all the time and I
hate reliving it all the time. I know I was dumb. I don’t need to be reminded.”
ok. Just spread the word. I’m kidding please don’t do that. I don’t want to
sound like a whiner.”
Valentin. Is she coming to your class tonight?”
don’t know. It’s an option for her but it depends on how she feels.”
still going out after your class tomorrow, right?”
yea. It’s Vegas. We have to go out.”
Alright Val.. I’ve got to go.”
problem. I really need to hit the gym before Jenna gets in.”
out for your girl. How sweet. See you tonight Val” Nicole says with a laugh
babe!” Jenna says happily as she climbs into Val’s rented car after putting her
suitcase in the back seat.
he says leaning over to kiss her. “How was your flight?”
was good. Really quick. I just read and listened to music. How was your day?”
I went to the gym. I thought about going swimming but it’s just too hot out
plane was hot?”
Just walking out here was bad enough.”
You ready for tonight?”
we have time so I can to the hotel and shower?”
I just meant, like, you still want to come, right?”
of course I want to come. You know I love to watch you teach.”
don’t have to just watch.”
know that. You’ll get more done if I just watch.”
that’s a good one Jenna.”
you heard from Nicole?”
She’s very excited about the shoot on Sunday.”
can hardly wait either. It’s going to be so fun. Oh, my Mom says hi and she
misses you. She also wants us to make a book for her of all of our pictures
from our Europe trip.”
would be a great idea. Maybe not all of the pictures” he says with a laugh.
up. You know I would never send those to my Mom. Just the Instagram worthy
she just go on Instagram and look at them then?”
it wouldn’t be just those. There are plenty of pictures we didn’t post that are
acceptable for our family to see. Maybe we can make a book for us and our
would love that.”
I’ll look into it.”
You know where all the pictures are?”
on my computer. Remember, you put them on a jump drive for me and I put them on
Ok, we are here.”
much time do we have until we have to leave?”
I’ll be quick.”
you never take 2 hours. We have plenty of time.”
I’m hungry so…”
I should eat something too. How about you shower and I’ll order us some room
good. Just not too much food. Something light. Oh, and fruit. I want some
fruit” Jenna says as they walk inside the hotel and towards the elevator.
you sure I look ok?”
Jenna. You look great.”
in a ponytail. Not even a high one.”
going to dance. It has to stay out of your way.”
But my glasses…”
at least like my romper.”
we had time. If you didn’t like your hair and glasses, you could have changed
I was hungry. I’m fine. It’s not that bad.”
bad? You are gorgeous Jenna.”
have to say that.”
but it’s true anyway.”
doesn’t respond because she knows he’s not going to get anywhere. She just
watches quietly out the window. When they get to the studio, Jenna pulls down
the sun visor and opens the mirror. She runs her hands down her hair, making
sure everything is smooth. She moves around the glass and even takes them off. She
makes a face and puts her glasses back on.
all good. Let’s just go in.”
gets out of the car and straightens his black dress shirt. Jenna meets him in
front of the car and slips her hand into his. He gives her hand a squeeze.
never been to this studio” Jenna says before they walk in.
a young lady says as they walk inside.
you. It’s beautiful in here” Jenna says looking around.
it’s just like…”
you. Can I show you were to set your things?” the lady asks with a smile. Jenna can tell she is trying her hardest not
to stare at Val.
please. We’re going to need to start warming up so we are ready when everyone
gets here” Val says.
Follow me please.”
leads Val and Jenna towards the open room that is usually a private lesson room
if the main room is full. They put their bags down and start to stretch. Val
tells the girl they’ll come find her when they are finished.
thought you were cute” Jenna laughs.
thought you were cute. Or sexy. She wouldn’t even look at you directly.”
one of them. Fun. Hopefully she is one of the rare few that get over that and
actually talks to me like I’m standing in front of them.”
hold out hope for your sake. Do the dancers do that too?”
They usually are star stuck for a minute but once we get to dancing, they’re
all good. Well most of them. Some of the young ones are still star struck the
whole time. That’s why I usually call them to assist me when I can.”
thought I was going to be your go to assistant this weekend.”
are but maybe not all the time. I want to give them something special to
remember. A little something extra.”
guess I’ll be ok with that. All I ask for is one dance with you at some point
All I ask is that you stay in the room with me.”
would I go?”
don’t know. I just… You’re my muse. I always dance the best when you are with
got to get out there” Jenna says with a smile that formed from his last
comment. She moves towards the door and puts her hand on the handle.
ready for this Jen?”
It will be fun.”
go out to the main room where a few of the teachers are standing around. They
all get quiet when Val and Jenna enter the room. The lady that welcomed them is
the first to speak.
All stretched out?”
The dancers should be here soon. Is there anything that you need? Water,
chairs, oh and what kind of music.”
smiles over at Jenna before answering back. “Awesome. I probably won’t sit but
it might be a good idea to have some out. Waters would be great. I’ll just hook
my phone up. I have the music set up on there already. Would you guys like some
pictures before we get packed?”
course!” Jenna says happily.
you!” the first lady says and closer to Jenna. Jenna moves closer and smiles
towards the phone that is taking a selfie of them.
love your outfit” Jenna says.
you! I love your romper. I wish I could pull that off.”
totally could. You are gorgeous.”
then, some of the dancers come into the studio, wide eyed and clearly excited
ladies. Come on in and put your things away. We’ll get started in a little while
when more people come” the girls standing with Jenna says as she walks towards
looks over towards Val who is talking pictures with some of the ladies. He
looks so happy. She loves watching him do what he loves.
this normal?” the original lady asks.
we’re pretty used to it.”
bet they do it to you too.”
not as much but I really don’t mind. They usually go crazy to get to him. I
usually get the shy ones who are so afraid to ask after taking pictures with
can’t imagine. Is it ever frustrating?”
when we need to get somewhere in a certain time frame. It’s more that we want
to make time for them all but we can’t always do that. And the crazy fans,
those are hard.”
many times have people asked you to marry them?”
times. I always just smile and offer a picture. Sometimes I say I can’t because
I’m waiting for the right guy to ask.”
you know this right guy?”
I think so” Jenna says smiling towards Val. More ladies have come in and a few
make their way over to Jenna.
should go check everyone in and see if we’re ready to start. Have fun tonight.”
Jenna says with a smile.
is standing behind the desk in the studio watching. She had joined in, giving
corrections and helpful hints while the dancers learned the dance. Now they are
getting ready to do the first run through so she stepped aside so she can
watch. She knows she would be watching the dancers but the only person she can
watch is Val. Her eyes are always drawn to him.
ladies. Let’s try this” Val says with a smile.
starts the music and Val leads the ladies in the first steps. He starts
watching in them in the mirror but his attention is drawn to Jenna when she
pushes up her glasses and stares at him. She smiles back at him. He just keeps
staring at her and the ladies just keep doing the same steps he is over and
over as he doesn’t move on. Jenna raises her eyebrows at him, hoping to get him
to notice what is going on. He doesn’t quite catch on so she ‘accidentally’
pauses the music.
I think I was a bit distracted there. Let’s try that again” He says when he
realizes the music as stopped. He looks away from Jenna and focuses in the
start dancing again, actually getting past the first steps this time since Val
is focusing on them. Jenna is taking a picture when someone says, “He was a
little distracted there huh?”
turns and sees the same girl as earlier standing next to her. “Yea, maybe just
a bit. I tried to give him a look but he didn’t catch up on it. By the way, I
don’t think I ever caught your name.”
my goodness. I never did say it did I. I’m Chantal. I teach Polynesian dance
that’s awesome! Are you going to take the class?”
going to join in sometimes but I’m working first and foremost.”
remember to have fun too. I’ve gotten caught up in all work and no play. It’s
not good for you.”
try. Thanks Jenna.”
class is over and Jenna and Val are taking pictures. Val keeps glancing over at
Jenna to make sure she is doing ok but she won’t look at him. It’s as if she
knows just what he is doing. She just continues to talk happily with those
around her and take so many pictures. He knows his face hurts from smiling for so
long so he knows she must be hurting too.
the next person says. He turns back and sees the girl who greeted them. He’s
seen her talking with Jenna quite a few times tonight. She seems really sweet.
Thanks for keeping Jenna company for me.”
welcome. She’s great.”
she is” he says smiling over at Jenna.
you getting distracted by her again” she says with a laugh.
caught me. Sorry. Let’s get that picture.”
looks around the room, trying to figure out how many people are left. He’s
ready to call it a night.
can call it a night for you” the girl says.
they should all get the pictures they want. I just wanted to see how much more.
Thank you though…”
we have to go back.”
What did you forget. You have your phone. I grabbed our bags…”
didn’t get our dance. I made you promise we’d have a dance together.”
danced” he says confused.
the class yea, but I thought…”
want to dance just me and you?”
I thought that’s what you wanted too. I kind of forgot until just now.” They
are just pulling up to their hotel.
can dance anywhere you want” Val says as they get out of the car.
me the keys.”
are we going?”
Just give me the keys.”
looks at her very confused and a bit unsure but hands her the keys anyway. She
goes over to the driver’s side, opens the door, and turns the car on. She has all
of the windows down and then turns the radio up as loud as she can.
with me” she says turning to Val, speaking as loudly over the music.
smile forms on his face as he reaches for her outstretched hand. When he takes
it, he pulls Jenna in close so they are chest to chest, smile to smile. They
sway around and around in the parking lot. Neither one is playing any attention
to the music. They feel the beat but don’t hear it. They share a few kisses and
a few dips and spins without a care in the world.
go inside” Jenna whispers in his ear nit mot moving away from him.
can see us.”
music is loud.”
I don’t want us to get in trouble.”
Can we continue this inside then?”
I was thinking we’d do something else.”
just have to wait and see.”
let’s go inside then” he says and closes up the car after turning it off. “You
know, I got really distracted by you today.”
I know. I talked with her a lot today.”
good because we’ve got another night there before the photo shoot.”
Let’s worry about tonight though.”
to worry about Jen?”
just winks at him as they walk into the elevator.
She doesn’t like to be called babe because it’s sort of a lazy way of saying baby, she loved it when I called her by nicknames, babygirl, princess, tiger (because she wants to reincarnate into a tiger if she one day dies) beautiful, etc, she doesn’t like when others call her by her name, because she prefers “soph” but she loved it when I called her by her name and she sat there smiling at me for ages. Her favourite drinks are iced coffee, those frappe things from McDonald’s and rubicon (the mango one though) she loved coffee and I’ll never understand why. Shes insecure of her face and when You look at her too long she’ll cover it, she’s insecure of her body, though it’s perfect just the way it is to me, she’s insecure of her smile but I find it beautiful. No matter how many times I called her beautiful she didn’t once believe it because she believes she isn’t. No matter how many times I tried to prove to her she was beautiful she didn’t believe it. She’s insecure, she’s scared of being hurt, she’s scared of wasting time, she’s scared of putting her all into somebody to be left alone, her guard was up, even after I showed her the craziest amounts of love, because she’s afraid of letting people in and it’ll take her ages for her to be able to trust you and open up, the way she is stubborn drives me crazy because I want her to tell me what’s wrong but she won’t. She’s spend all night crying over me but has been happy for me the next day because whose wants to see a smile on my face, she will be emotional, she’ll cry, she’ll cry and lot, she won’t tell me she’s crying though because she’s scared to bring attention to herself. She gets jealous but only because she doesn’t want to see me with anybody else. She has days where all she wants to do is be alone and cry, there’s days she’ll have no motivation but all you need to do is try to be there for her regardless of how much she acts as though she doesn’t care because deep down she does and her pain is too much to explain so she’ll keep it in rather than tell me what’s wrong. She thinks she’s stupid and not intelligent (which I think and believe she is) and regardless of what i tell her she will never believe it, she always believes she isn’t enough but she is more than enough, I look at her and see my future, I look at her and it will physically hurts me because i know that she is worth much more yet she sticks around just for me, I think back to all the times I’ve hurt her and made her cry because of stupid arguments, I’ll look at her and my eyes will light up from the way her smile forms and the way her pupils dilate, the way she turns her head to the side so I won’t see her smiling or laughing. she never wants to see me upset, she may never say much but she knows, she wants to say things but her shyness takes over, she wants to be here for me but she will have no idea what to say, she will try her damn right hardest to be there for me and even though i don’t realise how much effort she puts in she will still carry on doing so. Even though I don’t thank her enough for making you happy she will still carry on doing so because she wants me to be happy. She never really speaks about what’s on her mind until i physically beg her to, she hates to talk of her past and her future and if I’m lucky she’ll tell me a story or two about her past, I need to pay attention because she hates to repeat herself, i need to reply to her like I’m interested or she’ll think i don’t care. She hates to talk of her future because it’s “depressing” because she doesn’t believe in herself but now is the part where i should interfere and motivate her to believe that everything she wants will be hers as long as she tries. She hates it when i give her “positivity rants” on the phone because it makes her overthink. She hates feeling like I’m not paying attention to her. She hates when I don’t realise everything you do for her. She hates feeling depressed and alone so i much bring as much happiness to her as possible, she hates knowing that I’m not okay. she loves sci-fi movies and that’s another thing I’ll never understand why she loves but when we’re married I’ll sit with her through 3 hour sci-fi movies because it’ll put a smile on her face and I’d do anything for that, She loves to mess and play with her hair, she is so downright passionate about photography and she loves relating to somebody, she loves when I know things about her, she loves having deep meaningful conversations, she sometimes stays up until stupid o clock to check up on me and to see if I’m okay or just to speak to me because she craves me and the feelings I give her. She stays up some nights doing things for me which I would never expect and some nights she will cry herself to sleep because I upset her or because im not okay. She loves to play fight and she loves it when I look into her eyes and she loves it when I lay in bed with her and just talk absolute shit. She loves long walks and pleasing sights, she loves going to pretty places, she loves the nights and one day she would love to travel the world with the love of her life, even though she’s never been an an airplane before but it’s fine because neither have I. she would love a long car journey to wherever as long as it’s with somebody she loves, she loves old music and she loves to make you happy. She loves wearing casual clothes and rarely ever wants to look “feminine” but I love it because its her character and who she is and she will never change that. She will make me happy even if I’m not making her happy because she loves me and will do anything to see a smile on my face. She doesn’t like going to busy places like concerts or crowds etc, she loves dogs and practically develops bonds with them, she dislikes her dog because she’s ‘boring’ but she still loves her and sees her as a sister, because she’s grown up with her. She is sometimes so full of life and so happy that its literally contagious, her smile makes me smile and her laugh is honestly the best sound ever, I see my future every time I look deeply into her eyes and i realise that she is worth so much more than me yet she sticks around, once she loved me she has not once stopped, ever since that day 3 years ago. Sometimes she will act heartless but only because she wants me to show her that I care, sometimes she’ll cry and not tell me because she wants me to figure it out. She doesn’t like to be around many people, she doesn’t want to go to college because she hates the whole school vibe but I respect her for that because going straight for a apprenticeship takes guts, she doesn’t have many friends and although people think they know her, I can assure you they don’t, she will make you feel as though you know her but you really don’t, even I don’t know/understand her to the full extent, because she doesn’t really let anybody in unless she really wants to tell them something, she doesn’t really open up to anybody, she may talk a lot on the phone sometimes but in real life it is the complete opposite because she will become shy. She loves her dads car because of it’s blacked out windows so people can’t see her. I’d describe her as mysterious and as every single day which goes on I carry on learning more about her. She is the book I’ve opened and I will carry on reading her till I am finished reading her which will be never because she is an endless story. She loves it when I hype her up when she looks beautiful when I replay, screenshot and reply with endless emojis because her beauty takes away my breath. Sometimes she’ll have an attitude because she’s upset about something and she wants me to figure it out. But her attitude is nothing to fuck with at all because she can talkkkkk I assure you, she will fight her opinion onto you and she will make her point, but she won’t say a word in person, regardless of the arguments and regardless of the heartlessness she will love me entirely and will carry on doing so and I will never question that. Her heart is made of gold and she will always want what is best for me. I’d keep on going because this isn’t everything about her, if I could, but quite honestly I’d be going on for hours, I could never lie, me and her have made the most happiest and craziest memories together, and I could never doubt that. If forever does not last for me and her and you’re the next person who falls in love with her, take this all in and realise what you’re getting yourself into. Treat her well because she is honestly a queen, you’ll learn to love her, but let me assure you something, you will never love her half as much as I do. But for now and hopefully till forever, she is mine and I will carry on loving her till the day I die.
Where do you feel most at home?” he asked.
She thought for a moment and then answered, “Up in the clouds; where it never rains, where I can be in the middle of a thunderstorm. Up where sunsets last forever and sunrises can be chased. Where I’m just a little closer to the stars and the constellations sparkle. Up where huge cities are just tiny twinkles of light and mountains are the size of my thumb. Where I remember that I’m smaller than a speck of that city light, but I am composed of microscopic atoms. I feel most at home when I have no idea exactly where I am; when I’m in between places. Something about being in an airplane, feels so familiar.
Excerpt from a book I’ll never write, 56
“From an airplane window”