love is always before you

Monologues in Bars By White People With Good Intentions

I love your hair You always wear such interesting things What did you do before this Wow are you from Detroit What was that like Tell me what your thesis is about That sounds really powerful Your poem tonight was really intense You’ll appreciate this, you know, since you’re kind of ghetto You worked so hard you made it So what did you think about that Junot essay I’m suspicious of poems with an agenda, that have a certain aboutness Explain what you mean when you say risk I’m really uncomfortable I went to Detroit, well Dearborn, and it’s amazing how cheap the houses are No, it’s a really cool town Are you a Tigers fan That city is having a hard time, for sure I lived there once when I worked for Teach for America How do you feel about people who claim Detroit but aren’t really from there I really love your hair Is your work always so intense That line is a little melodramatic I’m not as smart as you but I thought rape was about sex What do you mean it’s hard to date I mean you’re here Rap is about music let’s not make it about race Oh come on, I only call people I love my nigger I don’t mean this to sound racist but You don’t seem like you date white guys but I love how our skin looks when I hold your hand and I like women who live a natural lifestyle and You’re so well spoken Wow you’ve really read a lot Ithaca must be way different than what you’re used to You can breathe now, you made it.

- Aricka Foreman

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.