love how she failed doing the wassup thing with her hand

Unpredictable (Roman Reigns x OFC)

(A/N) I’m sorry that it took me so long to upload guys. I was really busy and my mind was just not working along. But I’m happy to say that the first chapter is up. Feedback is more than welcome, so let me know what y’all think🙈.

Chapter 1

Alani

‘’Can you pass me that box over there?’’ I asked my mom as I was standing in my new room.

‘’Which one? They all look the same,’’ she mocked. ‘’When you asked me to come over and told me that there were only a few boxes left, you didn’t say there were actually still thousand left to unpack.’’

‘’Thanks for helping mom,’’ I smiled sweetly and gave her a hug. She chuckled and shook her head, hugging me back. I moved in my own house a week ago but there were still some boxes left to unpack since I was being my lazy self. ‘’Do you think dad is finished with the backyard?’’

‘’Honey, he’s probably already finished for an hour, but he’s just admiring his work, you know how he is.’’

‘’Are all architects like that?’’ I laughed as I walked downstairs. My dad has his own company for over ten years and became extremely successful, so when I told him that I was moving out of my shitty apartment, he insisted on designing my house. I was fortunate to have something this big being done for me and my dad luckily didn’t ask me for a fortune. My dad, on the other hand, paid a fortune to build and design the whole place. ‘Anything for my beloved daughter’, he said. ‘’I’ll make sure it looks like a mansion.’ Little did I know that when he mentioned that it’ll look like a mansion, he, in fact, build a mansion. It wasn’t too big but it wasn’t too small either, he knows exactly what I love and we, of course, talked about what I wanted and wished for.

I saw my dad standing in the living room while writing some things down. ‘’If you’re okay with it, I’d like to add this to my portfolio, showing all my clients how amazing I am,’’ he said as he turned around. I rolled my eyes and chuckled. ‘’What do you think of it?’’

‘’I couldn’t wish for anything more, thank you, dad.’’ I smiled and gave him a hug. ‘’I’m going to do the groceries right now because I need some good ass meal to eat in my brand new house,’’ I excitedly said. ‘’And thank you both for letting me stay at your house for the weeks this all was being built.’’

‘’It was no problem at all honey,’’ my mom spoke as she kissed my dad’s cheek. ‘’We’re happy that you’re happy.’’ She smiled. ‘’Don’t we have to babysit Mason?’’

‘’Your mom is right, we gotta go. Your sister is dropping off Talia again.’’ He slightly groaned.

‘’When are you guys gonna tell Avery to stop doing that?’’ I asked them as I opened the front door for them.

 ‘’We still have to figure out how to do that without sounding rude.’’ My mom gave me a hug and walked towards their black BMW. I chuckled and hugged my dad.

 ‘’Thanks, dad, for everything.’’ I gratefully said.

‘’Anytime Lani,’’ he smiled and walked to the drivers seat to start the car and they drove off. As I closed the door, I looked around, still in awe because of how big and beautiful everything was. I grabbed my bag and decided to go to the store before I was glued to the couch once again.

 ——————–

I was happy that I didn’t have to walk that far to get to the nearest grocery store, about twenty minutes. However, when I was tired, it would seem forever to get there so I’m glad I have my driver’s license. I probably failed three times but I insisted on getting it because that way I didn’t have to rely on others. My brother, on the other hand, relies on me or my parents when it comes to transport. Even though he’s 26 and two years younger than me, he was more occupied on working his way into my dad his company. Just because Carter is his only son, doesn’t mean he has family privileges.

I always told myself ‘tomorrow’ when it came to making the decision to start eating healthy. But I got a brand new house, a fresh start, so why not start today?  My eyes wandered, looking at all the delicious, but at the same time unhealthy food. It wasn’t my goal to be walking towards the heavenly chocolate, but I eventually did since it was calling my name. I grabbed a bar of milk chocolate and looked at it, a whole war was started in my head whether I should take it or not.

‘’Not the most healthiest choice,’’ a deep voice said from behind me. I frowned and turned around, curious who the person was who approached me. My eyes met the dark brown ones of a tall, muscular, handsome man, dressed in what I would call ‘Sunday clothing’. A black t-shirt hugged his broad shoulders and slim waist, wearing black sweats as well. Dang, he looked good.

I chuckled and looked at the chocolate bar in my hand, ‘’Not the most healthiest choice no, I agree with you on that one, but oh so good.’’

‘’You got me there,’’ the man laughed. ‘’Chocolate is everyone’s sin, even mine.’’

‘’Wouldn’t say so,’’ I pointed at his muscular chest.

‘’Oh trust me, whenever I had a stressful day or I trained too much, the first thing I eat is chocolate.’’ He smiled as he shook his head. This man is truly gorgeous. ‘’Everything else looks pretty healthy,’ he nodded towards my shopping cart, filled with all kinds of fruits and vegetables.

‘’Gotta balance it right,’’ I shrugged and decided to take the chocolate bar as I added it to my healthy food. ‘’I’m Alani, by the way, I’m new in the neighborhood,’’ I reached for his hand and he gladly shook it.

‘’I figured,’’ he smiled, ‘’your house was being built right?’’

‘’Yeah, my dad recommended this area, saying it was the perfect spot to live; beautiful surroundings, everything is within walking distance, really friendly people,’’

‘’He couldn’t be more right. Especially the really friendly people part, you just met the friendliest of them all,’’ he winked, making me laugh. I shook my head and the two of us started to walk around in the supermarket while telling me small bits about the people who were present and also lived in the neighborhood. ‘’That over there is Mrs. Yell,’’ he pointed at the small, grey haired woman standing in the shelf of the cat and dog food. I frowned in confusion, not knowing what he was talking about. ‘’Everyone calls her Mrs. Yell because she literally yells every single day. If it’s not because her husband did something wrong, again, it’s because of the smallest bread crumb on her recently cleaned floor. She’ll find a reason to yell, so cherish the moments whenever she’s quiet cause they ain’t long.’’

‘’Sounds like the perfect company,’’ I joked. He laughed and we walked into another shelf. ‘’So mystery man, you haven’t told me your name yet.’’

‘’How rude am I,’’ he gasps as his hand covered his chest. ‘’I’m Joe, but my real name is actually Leati…but I also go by the name of Roman. So I have three names, you choose whatever you like to call me.’’ He leaned in and whispered, ‘’I prefer Joe tho.’’

‘’Impressive, Joe.’’ I nodded as I grabbed a bottle of Cola. ‘’Does each name have a different persona?

‘’You gotta find that out on your own, Alani,’’ he winked as we walked to the cash register. The gentleman he was, helped me to put everything in bags and even held them as we walked back to my place. The walk was filled with Joe talking about all the crazy stuff he experienced in this neighborhood and how he loved living here. I smiled at all the silly faces he made as he was telling me about that one time he visited his cousin and tried to make his one-year-old child laugh. The way he was talking was so pure and real, I already liked him.

‘’You can hand me my groceries now,’’ I chuckled as I stood in front of my house.

‘’Jheeze, your place looks like a millionaires place, it’s amazing,’’ he said stunned. ‘’Not even my place looks like this and I’m pretty rich,’’

‘’Master of bragging,’’ I laughed. Joe grinned as he handed me the grocery bags. ‘’So I think I’ll you around then.’’

‘’Definitely,’’ he smiled, ‘’What if I stop by tomorrow? You know, just for a cup of coffee and you can make me jealous by showing me around in your palace.’’

‘’Sounds good to me. What about 9 am?’’

‘’9 am it is,’’ he smiled warmly as he gave me a hug. ‘’If you need anything, don’t hesitate to knock on my door, I’m at the end of the street.’’

‘’Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.’’ I thankfully said. I waved at him as he walked off to his own house. I thanked my dad in my head as I opened the front door for convincing me to move here. Still not over the fact I probably met the most handsome man of the neighborhood, I walked into the kitchen with the plastic bags and put them on the counter.

‘’Since when did I became invisible to you?’’ A female voice said. My head shot back up as I looked at my phone, finding none other than my best friend standing in front of me. ‘’Wassup girl?’’ She smiled.

‘’Ava what are you doing here?’’ I asked confused but extremely excited. I walked from behind the big marble kitchen counter over to her, giving her a hug.

 Ava has been my friend since the day I started walking. Our parents are really close friends who met in college back in the days. She was like a sister to me and we were together 24/7 until the day she got accepted to the University of Southern California. I was absolutely thrilled for her, but not about the fact that we weren’t going to see each other that often anymore. We both made the promise to call each other every week, face time as much as we can and meet up monthly. But since we both did completely different things, it was hard to hold on to that promise. She wanted to get her degree in art and design, that totally fitted her since she has always been busy with painting and drawing.

Me at the other hand wanted to deepen myself in dance and music more. So when I was accepted to a private school that was specifically for those two things, I barely had time for anyone since it was really intensive. I enjoyed every moment of it since I was doing something I loved but hated it because it took so much of my time and energy. I still dance, sing and perform occasionally, it’s just that I decided to diminish everything a bit.

‘’Your parents told me you moved and gave me your address. But girl, why didn’t you tell me?’’ She smiled as she looked at me. ‘’Dang you look fine as hell, better than I remember.’’

‘’Oh please I look terrible,’’ I covered my face in my hands. I had no idea what she was talking about since I was wearing just a plain grey dress, my hair totally mess and bags under my eyes because of my lack of sleep. ‘’But thanks, A. And I’m sorry, I was so busy with everything; the house, helping my dad, bookings. I barely had time to sleep.’’

‘’That I see,’’ she joked as she sat down on the kitchen chair. ‘’I’m just messing with you, babe. So how is my best friend doing? How’s living here?’’

‘’She’s doing great; new house, new neighborhood, new people, I really enjoy it here.’’

‘’Good to hear,’’ she smiled and looked inside of the bags with food, ‘’so what will we be eating?’’

 ——————–

‘’Christ Lani, this tastes so damn good,“ Ava said with a mouth full. “Them Italian genes from your mom seemed to have kicked in for real.’’

‘’I ain’t a chef like my mom,’’ I laughed, ‘’it’s called having a meat-free dish.’’ I stopped eating meat for over two years and I feel amazing; I have more energy, I don’t get sick so often and I simply feel fresher. My mom struggled and forgot about the decision I made for like a month and unwarily added meat to her food. Eventually, she started to get used to it and only added meat in 50% of her dishes.

‘’I’ll keep it at Italian genes,’’ she chuckled as she zapped through the channels. ‘’This TV looks like a cinema. I’m gonna ask your dad to build a house for me as well.’’

‘’Good luck with that,’’ Knowing my dad isn’t the easiest person to persuade. ‘’Wait, wait, hold on. Go back,’’ I suddenly said as I saw a familiar face passing by. Ava frowned and did what I asked her, even more,confused by my reaction. I chuckled and shook my head. ‘’Oh my god,’’

 ‘’What?’’

‘’That’s Joe,’ my jaw dropped as I saw him on TV. ‘’I met him this afternoon in the supermarket, he lives at the end of the street,’’

‘’No he doesn’t,’’ she said, not believing me. As she was about to say something else, she saw I wasn’t joking. ‘’Girl…You’re not telling me that you met Roman fucking Reigns in the supermarket and that he lives in your street.’’

‘’It’s true,’’ I simply said as I watched him; his hair was loose and wet, unlike today. He looked so different from the person I’ve met and I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t find him attractive.

‘’Lani you’re a lucky ass woman,’’ she grinned as she continued eating. Little did I know

———-

Tag List

@fivefootxo @hoodgirl163 @irenelove83 @greatbreadwizard @quavoswifeee

oh, dismay! | Min Yoonji

Fluff| Slightly Lewd| Requested By Nonnie

word count: 3k

pairing: min yoonji x black reader

Anonnie said:  Hello ! Can you please do a Yoonji x Black reader Drabble where Yoonji’s (your friend) mad at you because a bts member kissed you although you didn’t kiss them back, and you decide to talk to her about it but you two end up having an angry make out session and feeling each other up (possibly smut??) Thank you !


Keep reading

Skool Luv Affair (Suga x Reader x Namjoon)

Requested by miss-namjoon: Hii! I was reading your scenarios (i’ve been kinda of obssesed with scenarios/fanfictions these weeks lol) and I would like to ask for one, a love triangle between Suga x Reader x Rapmon \o/ (you guys can choose who you will make the reader end up with ♥

[[A/N: Sorry I took so long to do it. I really enjoyed writing a love triangle-ish scenario]]
———————————————————
School, school, school. Oh how you wished the summer holidays would hurry up! Your skin was craving to absorb the heat of the sun - craving to be exposed to the blinding rays of summer’s sunlight. Every single week your teachers would notify you about practice exams for Science, Maths, English, etc. Exams upon exams. How much more could you possibly take? Who knew the life of a student was this stressful? Who knew being a teenager was so exhausting?

Stereotypically, most teenage girls actually have a life. According to the movies being a teenage girl is all about going out with friends and obsessing over boys that are way out of your reach - Boys. Boys? Boys! You never really paid much attention to the guys in your class; apart from one … Or two. So what if you liked two guys at the same time? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Or is there?

The first guy - Min Yoongi, a super talented guy who seemed to be very popular with both girls and boys. His expertise was music (always getting the top grades); the structure of his compositions were absolutely beautiful followed by his aggressive Daegu dialect rap - God! His satoori was so attractive. Not to mention that a simple sigh passing his lips would be enough to drench every single girls’ panties with deep desires of stealing his innocence. He was so sweet hence why everyone called him ‘Suga’ it had started off as a nickname girls including boys (who had a crush on him) would use to mention him but then the other guys who didn’t crush on him thought the name ‘Suga’ was cool and complimented Yoongi’s pale complexion very well therefore the nickname stuck.

A few days ago, Suga had confessed to you telling you that he liked you for a while … This story, however goes way back to a few years ago when you were much younger. At first you didn’t get along with Yoongi because you couldn’t understand him, you had generally mistaken his bluntness for rudeness and stubbornness but as time passed you started liking him. He was so relatable. So easy to understand. You had kissed once but you doubted he could remember as it happened a very long time ago - it probably meant nothing to him.

Great! Music was your first lesson today. Your teacher had sent you to the school studio to allow you some time away from the other students to concentrate. You were in a sort of frenzy that caused you to turn the volume all the way up, you were generally loving it thus shutting your eyes and gently bobbing your head to the music thoroughly enjoying the melody to your composition.
You were so lost in your own world that you hadn’t even acknowledged someone coming in the studio. Unexpectedly, your music stopped playing. Your eyes shot open searching the desk but instantly finding Yoongi’s dark eyes.

You were startled … Lips slightly parted to speak though no words came out. There were a million things you could of said - and all those million things were running through your mind. “Sounds good” he looked at the structure of your piece “The only thing that’s missing is a beat.” Why was he helping you? “Does sir know you’re here?” He shook his head speaking in a monotone “No” you looked around sheepishly “Have you even finished your composition?” He took a quick glance at you and then stared at the computer screen “No … I’ll finish it later but first I have to help you make a killer beat.” Within just a few simple clicks your beat was done. How did he do it? “Now listen to it” he played the song and it sounded amazing. It sounded like a song you would hear on the radio’s top 40 list. “Ah Yoongi, thank you so much - but, why did you help me?” This was it. This was the time when he would finally tell you how he felt about you.

Every time he stared at you all he could think of was of how much he wanted to be in a relationship with you - how much he wanted to kiss you and do other things that couples usually do in relationships … Who cares!? He would have been happy to just get matching t-shirts with you - that is how much he liked you. You had him thinking of things he’d never even had considered before. Just the thought of having his lips or simply his skin in contact with yours gave him the feeling that different ranges of emotions were stirring at the pit of his stomach. He loved the fact that one person could make him feel all this at once but he loved the fact that, that one person was you. He remembered very well the day when you had kissed - it was more than just a kiss to him. To him it felt like he was transferring his intimacy, his trust and his love to you. “I helped you because I-” he mumbled softly whilst becoming flustered however he was interrupted by a deep voice, clearly pushing on his vocal chords to be heard. “______~ah where have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He didn’t even apologise for having interrupted Yoongi and your working environment.

He walked up to where you were sitting - grabbing your arm firmly before taking you out of the studio room, leaving an internally aggravated Yoongi. “What are you doing!? You can’t just take me out of lessons like that!” The guy smirked at your remark “Oh geurae? But I just did.” This guy … Urgh! Even though at times you wanted to act as though he annoyed the hell out of you, you just couldn’t. There was something about his personality that felt right to you. You knew him to be such a relaxed and chilled person who was actually quite pleasing to the eye but teased you everyday without fail - perhaps that’s what attracted you to him; his persistence.

He was another student who achieved the highest grades across the whole year group - a genius. He seemed to be extremely talented in every subject whether they were academic or not. Another popular guy which girls would totally throw themselves at. Whereas, Suga had girls crushing on him, Namjoon otherwise known as Rapmonster by those who aren’t close to him; had girls overtly attempting to sleep with him.

Who could blame them? There was definitely something about him that made you melt inside instantly when you saw him. It could of been the way he looked so cute without trying especially when he would smile allowing his dimples to become visible. Or it could have been his deep husky voice that suited so well with his overall image. How his gaze could manipulate your mind into erasing all current thought, perhaps it could have been the way his blonde platinum hair complimented his skin complexion and facial features. Oh and the tension between you and Namjoon could be felt from miles away. He seemed as close to perfection as anyone could get but then again so did Suga.
The real struggle was having to think about choosing between them. Nothing remotely romantic ever happened between you and Namjoon because you never intentionally let anything happen - you just both got on very well … It was almost as if you shared a special connection. An extremely different connection.

On the other hand, the connection you had with Suga was definitely the type of connection people who liked each other would get. The connection you had with Namjoon was more friendly - the kind of friends who would constantly flirt.
“Well make it quick I really need to finish my composition.” He chuckled “Are you giving me orders? That’s so hot” you gently hit his arm to signalise him to stop. He held on to both of your hands swinging them slightly “Don’t forget our science project at lunchtime” he’s tone always seemed to deepen around you - also he pushed less on his vocal chords when he was around you meaning you heard his voice in a sort of whisper but it was loud enough for you to understand what he was saying. “Don’t worry I won’t forget” you smiled at him. He stared into your eyes feeling his heart rate fastening at the sight of you enjoying his presence. His face was becoming dangerously close next to yours, one more movement and your lips would have brushed against each other “Mr Kim aren’t you supposed to be in lesson? Miss _____ please get back to the music studio.” Both you and Namjoon bowed at the same time “Ne, seonsaengnim.”

Break time came around pretty quickly. Suga had spent the whole morning re-arranging your composition. Even though the structure was strong he ensured you would get rewarded more marks. All this of course was hard work, all he wanted to do was rest a little bit.

He sat on a bench inside the school, putting his hands in between his thighs to keep warm. “Yo Suga hyung” he recognised the deep voice that had interrupted him this morning “Wassup Rapmon?” Namjoon shrugged nonchalantly whilst taking a seat next to Suga “You know … Girl problems” Suga sighed “Urgh tell me about it” Namjoon started thinking about you, discretely smiling to himself “Can she not see how much I love her? She makes me feel a way that no other girl can accomplish” Suga also started smiling to himself as the feeling at the pit of his stomach happened again “That feeling you get in your stomach when you see her. You know, the little butterflies? Man, love is weird. At some points I’m sure that she likes me but other times I’m really uncertain” Namjoon nodded “I get that feeling with her all the time. I love everything about her, even her name sounds beautiful. What’s your girl’s name?” Suga composed himself so that he’s true feelings were concealed “_______” Namjoon nervously laughed “No way, the girl I like has the same name, what are the od- wait … What!? That’s exactly who I like.” Suga cleared his throat at the sudden discomfort he felt “Umm … I’ll be going” Namjoon didn’t even do as much as glance at Suga, he was to concentrated in convincing himself that you liked him.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly and during the day you had tried so hard to approach Suga to thank him for your composition but you couldn’t find him. Where could he have gone? He wasn’t in the music studio, he wasn’t sitting next to you in the remaining lessons. What could you have possibly done wrong this time? You coincidentally walked down the corridor located by the sport hall. You peeked in the sport hall to see if Suga was there - and surprisingly enough, he was. You made your way inside observing him as he played basketball.

He was absolutely smothered in sweat. How could someone look so attractive while sweating? He saw you coming in but payed no attention to you, he had a stern visage. It was like a warning for you not to approach him but you couldn’t help it, you had to talk to him. “Yoongi” you sighed in exasperation, he simply ignored you - continuing to shoot hoops and missing each time. “Why are you ignoring me?” A question even he couldn’t answer ~ after all it wasn’t your fault if another guy liked you but he was still very doubtful of the whole situation. Mixed emotions seemed to provoke his thought process making him slightly less aware of his actions towards you. He wanted to give you the silent treatment but at the same time he wanted to kiss you and let you know how much he loves you.

Suga threw his ball away somewhere in the distance as you were about to speak once more - you felt a pair of warm lips pressing against your own, his arms wrapping themselves around your waist and puckering his lips waiting for you to respond into the kiss. How could he expect you to respond? You were totally caught off guard, you placed your hands against his chest to break from the kiss. “What the hell!? You ignore me all day but then out of nowhere you think it’s alright to kiss me” he could feel blood rushing to his cheeks allowing him to blush ever so slightly “Yes” you scoffed at his response - you were not ready to deal with this shit “______ do you love me?” This however made you feel as though your heart skipped a beat “… You know how I feel about you.” He chuckled slightly disappointed with himself for having hoped for a different answer “Do I? How many other guys have you said that to?” A muscle flex appeared in his jaw clearly emphasising how aggravated he was feeling when he figured out that you might have told Namjoon the same thing - which you didn’t “Rapmon” he muttered under his breath “No don’t tell m- You like him, don’t you?” Nervously, you started fidgeting with your fingers looking down at them “Does it matter? if I do or not.”
Suga glared at you in disbelief “Yes it does” your eyebrows quivered at his response “Wae? We’re not even in a relationship so please tell me why it matters?” He didn’t mean to blurt it out but he couldn’t restrain himself “Because I love you” you stared at him as your eyes widened in shock of his confession “Just let me know … Rapmon or me?” You took a long time before replying “I-I don’t know. You can’t just make me chose like that?” He lifted his eyebrows dumbfounded by how much you were struggling “Fine … I’m aware I can’t have you both therefore I choose no one.”

You heard the door of the sport hall slam shut catching a glimpse of a tall, blond haired figure and you knew exactly who it was. You instantly made your way outside slipping your arm out of Yoongi’s grasp. “Namjoon!” You shouted across the corridor. All he could think about was how betrayed he felt when he saw you and Suga kissing - he remembered seeing how involved you seemed in the kiss “Why would you play me like that? I saw you kiss him” He shook his head to show you how much he disapproved of you being around Suga “It wasn’t like that. What is up with you guys today? Why are you so concerned with who I want to be with when I’m not even your girlfriend?” He understood what you meant but he was too caught up in his own emotions to care about what you were trying to say. He stared at you with a blank expression on his face “Did you ever really like me the same way I did?” You nodded “Yes but I don’t feel it’s right to see two people at the same time therefore I’m choosing no one. Also, I don’t want to ruin our friendship so-” he sharply inhaled slightly interrupting you “Cool. I wish you all the best then … See you tomorrow.”

-admin blxnktae

Right before I left for college, I was running my high school. Feel it. I knew where to park, I knew where to get the best chicken-cutlet sandwich, I knew which custodians had pot. People knew me. They liked me. I was an athlete and a good friend. I felt pretty, I felt funny, I felt sane. Then I got to college in Maryland. My school was voted number one … for the hottest freshman girls in Playboy that year. And not because of me. All of a sudden, being witty and charismatic didn’t mean shit. Day after day, I could feel the confidence drain from my body. I was not what these guys wanted. They wanted thinner, blonder, dumber … My sassy one-liners were only working on the cafeteria employees, who I was visiting all too frequently, tacking on not the Freshman 15, but the 30, in record-breaking time, which led my mother to make comments over winter break like, “You look healthy!” I was getting no male attention, and I’m embarrassed to say, it was killing me.
But one guy paid me some attention — Matt. Matt was six feet tall, he looked like a grown-up von Trapp child, and he was five years older than me. What?! An older boy, paying attention to me? I must be okay. Uff. I made him laugh in our bio lab, and I could tell a couple times that we had a vibe. He was a super senior, which is a sexy way of saying “should have graduated, but needed an extra year.” He barely spoke, which was perfect for all the projecting I had planned for him. We grew up in the same town, and getting attention from him felt like success. When I would see him on campus, my heart would race, and I would smile as he passed. I’d look in the mirror and see all the blood rise to my face. I’d spend time analyzing the interaction, and planning my outfit for the next time I saw him. I wanted him to call. He never called. But then finally, he called.
It was 8 a.m., my dorm room phone rang. “Amy, wassup? It’s Matt. Come over.” Holy shit! This is it, I thought. He woke up thinking about me! He realized we’re meant to start a life together! Let’s just stop all this pretending that we weren’t free just to love one another! I wondered, would we raise our kids in the town we both grew up in, or has he taken a liking to Baltimore? I don’t care. I’ll settle wherever he’s most comfortable. Will he want to raise our kids Jewish? Who cares? I shaved my legs in the sink, I splashed some water under my armpits, and my randomly assigned Albanian roommate stared at me from under her sheets as I rushed around our shitty dorm room. I ran right over to his place, ready for our day together. What would we do? It’s still early enough, maybe we’re going fishing? Or maybe his mom’s in town, and he wanted me to join them for breakfast. Knock-knock. Is he going to carry me over the threshold? I bet he’s fixing his hair and telling his mom, “Be cool, this may be the one!” I’ll be very sweet with her, but assert myself, so she doesn’t think she’s completely in charge of all the holiday dinners we’re going to plan together. I’ll call her by her first name, too, so she knows she can’t mess with me. “Rita! I’m going to make the green bean casserole this year, and that’s that!” Knock-knock. Ring ring. Where is he?
Finally, the door opens. It’s Matt, but not really. He’s there, but not really. His face is kind of distorted, and his eyes seem like he can’t focus on me. He’s actually trying to see me from the side, like a shark. “Hey!” he yells, too loud, and gives me a hug, too hard. He’s fucking wasted. I’m not the first person he thought of that morning. I’m the last person he called that night. I wonder, how many girls didn’t answer before he got to fat freshman me? Am I in his phone as Schumer? Probably. But I was here, and I wanted to be held and touched and felt desired, despite everything. I wanted to be with him. I imagined us on campus together, holding hands, proving, “Look! I am lovable! And this cool older guy likes me!” I can’t be the troll doll I’m afraid I’ve become.
He put on some music, and we got in bed. As that sexy maneuver where the guy pushes you on the bed, you know, like, “I’m taking the wheel on this one. Now I’m going to blow your mind,” which is almost never followed up with anything. He smelled like skunk microwaved with cheeseburgers, which I planned on finding and eating in the bathroom, as soon as he was asleep. We tried kissing. His 9 a.m. shadow was scratching my face — I knew it’d look like I had fruit-punch mouth for days after. His alcohol-swollen mouth, I felt like I was being tongued by someone who had just been given Novocain. I felt faceless, and nameless. I was just a warm body, and I was freezing cold. His fingers poked inside me like they had lost their keys in there. And then came the sex, and I use that word very loosely. His penis was so soft, it felt like one of those de-stress things that slips from your hand? So he was pushing aggressively into my thigh, and during this failed penetration, I looked around the room to try and distract myself or God willing, disassociate. What’s on the wall? A Scarface poster, of course. Mandatory. Anything else? That’s it? This Irish-Catholic son of bank teller who played JV soccer and did Mathletes feels the most connection with a Cuban refugee drug lord. The place looked like it was decorated by an overeager set designer who took the note “temporary and without substance” too far.
He started to go down on me. That’s ambitious, I think. Is it still considered getting head if the guy falls asleep every three seconds and moves his tongue like an elderly person eating their last oatmeal? Chelsea? Is it? Yes? It is. I want to scream for myself, “Get out of here, Amy. You are beautiful, you are smart, and worth more than this. This is not where you stay.” I feel like Fantine and Cosette and every fucking sad French woman from Les Miz. And whoever that cat was who sang “Memories,” what was that musical? Suze Orman just goes, “Cats.” The only wetness between my legs is from his drool, because he’s now sleeping and snoring into me. I sigh, I hear my own heartbreak, I fight back my own tears, and then I notice a change in the music. Is this just a bagpipe solo? I shake him awake. “Matt, what is this? The Braveheart soundtrack? Can you put something else on, please?” He wakes up grumpily, falls to the floor, and crawls. I look at his exposed butt crack, a dark, unkempt abyss that I was falling into. I felt paralyzed. His asshole is a canyon, and this was my 127 Hours. I might chew my arm off.
I could feel I was losing myself to this girl in this bed. He stood up and put a new CD on. “Darling, you send me, I know you send me, honest, you do …” I’m thinking, “What is this?” He crawled back into bed, and tried to mash at this point his third ball into my vagina. On his fourth thrust, he gave up and fell asleep on my breast. His head was heavy and his breath was so sour, I had to turn my head so my eyes didn’t water. But they were watering anyway, because of this song. Who is this? This is so beautiful. I’ve never heard these songs before. They’re gutting me. The score attached to our morning couldn’t have been more off. His sloppy, tentative lovemaking was certainly not in the spirit of William Wallace. And now the most beautiful love songs I’ve ever heard play out as this man-boy laid in my arms, after diminishing me to a last-minute booty call. I listened to the songs and I cried. I was looking down at myself from the ceiling fan. What happened to this girl? How did she get here? I felt the fan on my skin and I went, “Oh, wait! I am this girl! We got to get me out of here!” I became my own fairy godmother. I waited until the last perfect note floated out, and escaped from under him and out the door. I never heard from Matt again, but felt only grateful for being introduced to my new self, a girl who got her value from within her. I’m also grateful to Matt for introducing me to my love Sam Cooke, who I’m still with today.
Now I feel strong and beautiful. I walk proudly down the streets of Manhattan. The people I love, love me. I make the funniest people in the country laugh, and they are my friends. I am a great friend and an even better sister. I have fought my way through harsh criticism and death threats for speaking my mind. I am alive, like the strong women in this room before me. I am a hot-blooded fighter and I am fearless. But I did morning radio last week, and a DJ asked, “Have you gained weight? You seem chunkier to me. You should strike while the iron is hot, Amy.” And it’s all gone. In an instant, it’s all stripped away. I wrote an article for Men’s Health and was so proud, until I saw instead of using my photo, they used one of a 16-year-old model wearing a clown nose, to show that she’s hilarious. But those are my words. What about who I am, and what I have to say? I can be reduced to that lost college freshman so quickly sometimes, I want to quit. Not performing, but being a woman altogether. I want to throw my hands in the air, after reading a mean Twitter comment, and say, “All right! You got it. You figured me out. I’m not pretty. I’m not thin. I do not deserve to use my voice. I’ll start wearing a burqa and start waiting tables at a pancake house. All my self-worth is based on what you can see.” But then I think, Fuck that. I am not laying in that freshman year bed anymore ever again. I am a woman with thoughts and questions and shit to say. I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story — I will. I will speak and share and fuck and love and I will never apologize to the frightened millions who resent that they never had it in them to do it. I stand here and I am amazing, for you. Not because of you. I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.
—  Amy Schumer
How could I not feel the same?

Request: will you do a mike fuentes imagine where like you’re a good friend of the band but everyone knows mike wants you. he’s getting more frustrated everyday so to like relieve some tension he writes this super long love note to you and intends of getting rid of it but it get’s lost and Tony finds it and tells you how much Mike likes you and then gives it to you and you feel the same so you plan a surprise date for you two!! super cute and fluffy please :)

MIKE’s POV:

“What’s up, man?” Vic sat next to me “Are you okay? You look strange”

“I’m fine” I said looking away

Indeed I wasn’t feeling good. I was rather nervous, and it was causing me physical discomfort. My hands were sweating and I couldn’t find a position on my seat. Everthing was making me dizzy. Mainly one thing: Her perfume.

Y/N was a good fiend of the whole band and was always around. It was making me very unconfortable for a long time, causing me to keep distance.

“Mike, can you lend me a shirt?” Tony asked me, showing a big spot on his own.

“Sure” I got up quickly and ran upstairs.

Finally I was able to breathe again. I entered on my room and opened the closet door, searching for shirt for Tony. but suddenly, I aside and sae a notebook, it gave me a good idea. I found a pen somewhere and sat on my bed with it and taking a deep breath, I started to write.

I don’t really know what to write here, maybe I just need to do a reflection, take deep breath and calm down, but for some reason I want to leave here a reason of why I love you so much, and maybe pretend that one day I’ll give it to you and we’ll live together forever. Maybe.

I’d love if you entered for my bedroom door and hug me saying how much you love me, but it won’t happen, because I know you’re into other guys, and to tell the truth I feel bad for it. I feel bad because I know you’ll never be happy with them, and maybe many of them will hurt you, and this is going to be my fault, because If I had the courage to tell you about it all, you wouldn’t have to be with the wrong guys. But I’m afraid you don’t feel the same way.

I’ve always got really unconortable near to you, because I don’t feel worthy of being even your friend. You’re so beautiful that take my breath away. I love the way you touch me. It make me so happy.

Do you remember? The day I slept on your lap during four hours, at that spring afternoon? I woke up in your arms, feeling like it was the way i’d like to pass the rest of my life. I remember.

Do you remeber our promo night? The way you looked. That red dress that made you so sexy. I remeber. I remeber that you went with that asshole. I passed the whole night grumbling with Vic because of it.

My love for you shine in my eyes and only you can’t see. Sometimes I think you’re the dumbest person in the entire world. Maybe you forgot to tell me you’re blind. This is the only explanation.

I’m sorry. I know you’re not dumb. You’re the smartest, loveliest, tenderest and most beautiful person I even know.

I tried to show you my feelings with little actions. But I failed miserably. I’m the dumb one.

It makes me really sad to know I may never have a chance with you.“

"Mike?” I heard from the doorway

I looked up and Vic was looking at me worried

“I just…” I looked at my side where the shirt was “I-I got distracted”

“That’s okay…” He picked the shirt up “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I just got a headache” I said rubbing the back of my neck

“Okay…” He said and walked off of the room

-

VIC’s POV:

Next morning, I was cleaning around the house, while Mike was doing something out. There was lots of trash on his room and I just put everything on a bag to throw it away.

Suddenly, my phone rang and I just ran downstairs leaving the bag somewhere and sittion o the couch.

“Hello?” I said simple wating for some answer

“Vic? It’s Tony” He replied

“Oh, hey man! Wassup?” I adjusted on my place

“Don’t you wanna hang out?” He asked

“I’m claning the house, If you wanna come…” I said simple “Call, Jaime and Y/N too…”

“Okay. I’m on my way” He said and we said our goodbyes

I got up, picked up the bad and walked to out to put it on a bin. Some papers fell but the scavengers could take care of it.

The weather was not very good, so when I heard some thunder, I went back inside the house.

TONY’s POV:

I parked my car in front of Vic’s house and it was raining a lot. I got out of the car and felt something hit my leg. A piece of paper, a notebook paper. Looking at it, I decided to catch. There were somethings written that I become curious to read. My clothes were all wet when I ran inside the house.

“Vic? I’m here” I yelled from the living room.

“Tony? What are you doing here?” Mike asked me from the stairs

“Vic called me in” I said simple sittion on the couch

“Okay…” He said walking to the kitchen “I think he’s right here…”

“Alright…” I said “Jaime and Y/N are coming too”

I couldn’t help but notice how tense Mike became with that.

“A-Alright…” He said and ran somewhere

I looked at the paper in my hands and recognise Mike’s calligraphy. It was a letter. A love letter to Y/N. I knew Mike had a crush on her, but I couldn’t even imagine he felt like that. I had to tell her. I needed.

MIKE’s POV:

Shit, I couldn’t have a fucking day of peace?

Y/N was sitting on the couch, in front of me when Tony sat next to her and whispered something on her ear. Suddenly, the both of them got up and ran upstairs. What was they doing? I can’t bealive it! What was Tony doing with her? She’s mine! Kind of…

Y/N’s POV:

“What’s happening, Tony?” I asked him confused

“Darling, have you noticed something different on Mike?” He looked at me kind of worried

“Yeah… He’s acting strange…” I sat on the adje of the couch on Vic’s write room

“Look what I found, thrown outside” Tony, handed me a piece of paper, smashed and a little wet.

I took it of his hand and started to read. My eyes got teary and I looked up at him.

“I didn’t know” I said with heavy breath

“You should talk to him” He said simple “I don’t know…”

“What’s happening here?” Jaime said, walking in

“Jaime, do you remember when I told you that thing about Mike?” I asked him and he nodded “Look”

I gave him the paper and Tony, rubbed my back while he was reading.

“My gosh… Is this why he’s acting this way?” Jaime sat on my other side

“Maybe… Probably…” Tony said looking at me “What will you do?”

“I have an idea…” I said thinking

MIKE’s POV:

A week had passed since I saw Y/N for last time. I didn’t know what was worse: Be next to her and hide my feelings or being away from her. I had to hide my feelings anyway.

“MIKE!” I heard Vic yelled from downstars

“WHAT?!” I yelled back

“CAN YOU COME HERE?!” He yelled

I couldn’t help but smile. I remembered me when we were little ones. Mom asked on of us to call the other one and everything we did was yell.

I got up and walked downstairs.

“What?” I asked him

“I need, help. Can you got to the drugstore and buy me some medicine? I’m nor feeling good”

“Oh, sure!” I answered “I’ll be back very soon”

I picked up my keys and walked outside.

-

When I came back, Vic wasn’t at the couch. I heard some noise upstairs and ran there, but the noise wasn’t on Vic’s room. Was on mine.

I walked in and Y/N was sitting there with a long sleeved shirt and a pair of skinny jeans, there was a taple, I don’t know how it got in my room, with two plates and some food.

“Mike, you could just had told me” She said

“T-Told you what?” I asked half confused, half afraid

“That you like me…” She looked at me

“How- How do you know that?” I looked at my feet

“I read that letter you wrote…” She said simple and got up, walking over to me

“Did you saw that?! Oh my God, that was so tacky!” I cover my face with my palms

Y/N touched my arms softly and then pulled my hands off of my face, maing me look in her eyes.

“That was the most beautiful thing I ever saw in my life” She smiled a little “I didn’t knew you feel this way…”

“I’m feeling so dumb right now…” I looked down again

“No…” She started “Don’t feel dumb… I’m the dumb one… I never noticed, How couldn’t I see it… Maybe… Maybe I was to busy thinking that I’d never have a chance with you..”

I looked at her in shock with waht she just said.

“Do- Do… Do you feel the same?” I held her shoulders

“How could I not feel the same?” She said and then jump into my embrace.

Chapter 39 *Final Chapter*

External image

Tyler P.O.V

“What Poppie?” I asked as I answered the phone. I held it between my ear and shoulder as I changed Asia’s diaper.

“Damn, thats how you greet your lil bro” he said pretending to be hurt.

“Im sorry, Im just doing something at the moment.” I said as I tossed the old one in the trash then got a fresh one.

“Changing diapers?” He said.

I paused what I was doing. “How did you know that?” I asked looking around the room to see if he had any bugs in here. He is my fathers son so he would do some shit like this.

“Cuz I can smell that shit through the phone fam!” He said then started cracking up. I just chuckled.

“Na but I heard you open the trash so that was my first guess.” He said.

I nodded my head like he could see me. “Hows my little fatty anyway” he asked.

“Bein bad, ever since she started walking she been gettin her hands on everything.” I said as she looked up at me smilling.

“Aww yep she definitely your kid. You was the same way. All you did was throw a nigga toys in the toilet and shit.”

“You ripped the heads of my barbies!” I said.

I heard him laughing eventually making me laugh. My brother was mean to me back in them days. We never use to get along until I hit highschool.

“So wassup? Why you callin outta the blue moon?” I asked.

“Shit you say that like its a bad thing. Atleast I call!” He said, i rolled my eyes. “But on some real shit how soon can you get to Atlanta?” His voice sounding more serious then before, which only meant business needed to be taken care of.

“Why? Something with the warehouse?” I asked a little worried.

“Look this is something I’d rather talk about in person.” He said.

“Aight, well I can be there by Saturday then. And don’t be on no funny shit Pops.” I said.

“Naa this is all business. Real talk, ill see you then.” He said then the line went dead.

A million an one things started running through my head. I had no clue what the fuck could be going on down there. Why couldn’t he tell me over the phone? This nigga actin like someone after him, which I hope is not true. I really don’t wanna have to kill anyone.

Im tired of this lifestyle. Killing and handling drugs for a living is not wassup anymore. I don’t know how my dad did this shit for so long. I want to get out of this but most of all I want Chris to get out of it.

He has so much potential to be something great. He’s smart, good looking, and talented as hell,but every time we get on the topic he makes up some bullshit excuse about how the game is all he knows.

What he fails to realize is that WE GREW UP ON THE SAME DAMN BOAT! Both me and Chris grew up knowing only the Cartel. So if I can do something with myself and actually fulfill my dreams why can’t he?

I don’t want Asia nor Royal to grow up living this kind of life style. Yea from the outside it looks like its all peaches and cream but the grass is always greener on the other side. Having people constantly running in and out of your life is not a fun experience. I don’t know how much I wished I was a regular kid like the ones I grew up with. I shouldn’t have to worry about my life at the age of 10 and I don’t want the for my daughter.

I want her to grow up different then her parents. Most importantly I want her to be something in life, to mean something in this world and not just be a walking threat like her mother and father.

But truth is, is I can’t help who I am and Chris can’t help who he is either. Once you grow up in the game, theres no way of leaving. Yea you could claim you left but you always have the deaths over your head, the eyes looking after you, and your finger permanently on the trigger. The game is a cruel world but thats the one place where you can actually find the people that will ride or die for you, fam or not.

“Why you cryin?” I head Chris’s voice say, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I hadn’t even realized that there were tears running down my face. I sniffled and quickly wiped them away.

“Uh it was nothing.” I said. I knew he wanted to know more but every time we get on the subject one of us either ends up pissed off and usually its him.

“Baby just tell-”

“It was nothing okay!” I said cutting him off.

I sighed. “Aight then.”

“Um I need to go to Atlanta this Saturday.” I said, changing the subject.

“What for?” He asked as he turned his face up.

“Because I want to visit my family. I miss them.” I said sugar coating it. I didn’t want him to know he whole thing because i lnew he would flip.

“Okay, well you want me to come with you-”

“No! Umm I kind of want to go alone.” I lied.

He mushed his eyebrows together.”So are you going to take Asia with you?”

“Na she’s still to young to be riding planes. So I figured you could watch her.”

“Well if your not gone be here I was goin to.be workin. And ain’t no way in hell im takin her to the warehouse.”

“Well then take her to your moms. You know how much she loves her.” I said as I picked up Asia and put her in her crib.

“Aight then, imma miss you though.” He said as I walked up to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I wrapped mine around his neck.

“Really? You know we never got to celebrate after my party.” I said with a smirk. He picked me up and I immediately wrapped my legs around him.

He carried me out of Asia’s room and down to ours. After layin me down on the plush bed he tackled my neck with kiss. He quickly took of his shirt as I took of mine, leaving me only in a thong.

“Remember when I said we were gonna try for a second baby?” He asked then pecked my lips.

“You really want another? ” I asked.

“Hell yeah, I want you to have all my babies.” He said as he moved my thong aside and shoved to finger inside me.I couldn’t even respond to his statement.

“Fuuck.” I moaned out as my back arched off of the bed. I could tell I was about to reach my climax. Just as I was about to cum Chris pulled his fingers out.

I looked at him like he lost his damn mind. He sucked on his fingers he cracked a smile.

“Come ride this shit ma.” He demanded as he dropped his sweat pants, letting his dick spring to attention.

He layed on the bed as I slid of my thong, tossing it to the floor. I crawled on top of him and hovered over his manhood. I eased myself down on him, but of course him being him slammed be down.

I hissed in pain. “Chris!” I yelled.

He chuckled. “Its not funny. That hurt! ” I said as I slapped his chest.

“Im sorry baby but you can’t expect a nigga to wait for ever while you take yo sweet time. A nigga got needs.” He said.

Sometimes I can’t stand him.

Chris P.O.V

“So nigga wassup.” Ty said as he plopped down in one of the seats that sat infront of my desk. I had just dropped Asia off at my moms and to say my mom was excited was an understatement.

“Shit nothin. Tyler’s visiting the fam for a couple days so I’m just trynna get some work done.” I said.

He nodded his head. “Thats coo’. So hows parent hood?”

I chuckled. “Man harder then I thought it would be.” I said honestly.

I didn’t think that it would be this hard. I can only imagine how these single parents do it.

“Yea I felt the same way when Mj was born but don’t worry, shit will get easier.” He reassured me.

“It got easier for you?”

“Naa but im hopin it will.” I chuckled.

For the rest of the time we just talked about random shit, just catching up. We really haven’t talked ever since the kids came around.

“Hey man have you ever thought about leavin the game and startin up something different.” He said, changing the subject.

I sighed a little. Right now he was starting to sound like Tyler. “Right now you startin to sound like my girl man.” I said making him chuckle.

“She brought up?”

“A few times.” I mumbled.

“So has Ash. But seriously though, have you ever thought about it?”

“I mean yea its came across my mind a few times but I can’t just leave this shit behind. All of this has made me who am to day. The game was like a father to me growin up. This was all I had. I can’t imagine this shit not being in my life like it is now.”

“I feel you and everything but you could give a better life to ya baby girl. Sometimes you can’t just think about ya self man.”

“Nigga whats the worst that can happen to her? Im tired of you and Tyler sayin that shit. She got it good now!” I semi yelled.

“Nigga money can’t make up for every fuckin thing! You got two prime examples of how she could fuckin turn out! You want Asia to grow up like Tyler? Cause thats the fuckin road she going to be heading down if you stay in this shit! I get that the game has helped you out back then but you need to focus on now! You got a whole bunch a fuckin opportunities in front of ya damn face but you gone turn it down for this shit? Get the fuck outta here. I swear if I had everyone handing me offers like you I would jump out this shit in a heart beat, but only because I want better for Ashley and Mj.”

“The fuck you trynna say? You leavin the game now? Nigga this the only shit you know, all this shit right here is who the fuck you are so don’t try to come at me like you a nigga standing out looking on the inside. You know good and damn well you get in this shit there aint no leavin. You still gone be the same old Tyga! You don’t get to make up how the game goes. It makes up you.” I said.

I understood where he was coming from but he needs to understand that life aint gone be all unicorns and rainbows. You still gone have them same nigga’s after you, you still gone have them live that you took, and you still gone have you gone on the same damn trigger. You can’t just up and leave with out there being consequences.

“Man fuck this, im tired of tryin to get through to you stubborn ass. Either you can see where this shit takes you or actually do something that will benefit your fams.” He said and with that he walked out of my office.

Something told me that, that would be the last time I would see him in this warehouse but I didn’t want to believe it.

I can’t just leave this life behind like its a piece a cake. Everyone make it seem so damn simple but its not. But at the same time I don’t want Asia to grow up like her parents, dealing with drugs and guns for a living. I can see Asia being just like Tyler and that literally scares me shirtless. Deep down Tyler is worse then me. I wasn’t born into this like she was. She didn’t have a choice like I did and I don’t want Asia to feel like she doesn’t have a choice, like she had to follow the footsteps of me and Tyler.

I would be lying if I said a part of me doesn’t want to leave this shit behind. But im afraid. Yea Breezy is scared. Scared that imma fail in what I do or more importantly fail in life.

On cue my Iphone rang breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked down only to see the number thats appeared on my phone for the past 2 months now. I knew that if I answered the call there would be a strong possibility that my life could change.

External image

Tyler P.O.V

“Soooo wassup, why am I here?” I asked, crossing one leg over the other.

Ive been in his office for about 30 minutes now and all we did was catch up but now it was time to get to the real reason why I was here. I aint leave my babies for something we could have did over the phone.

“Well I got some interesting shit to discuss wit you” He said as he leaned back in his chair.

He was about to speak again until the door flew open. “Daddy!” A little girl called out from behind me. The voice sounded all to familiar.

“Hey, com’re baby girl.” He said.

Soon I saw Mercy run from behind and into Poppie’s arms. He pointed to me, getting her to look at me. Her eyes widened once she realized who I was.

“Auntie Ty Ty!” She screamed making me chuckle.

“Hey Mercy!” I said as she got out of Poppies lap and ran over to mine. I quickly picked her up as she ran into my arms. I tackled her face with kisses as her giggles filled the air. I missed this little girl to death.

Out the corner of my eye I saw Mercy’s mother sit in the chair thats was next to mine. “Tyler.” She said plainly.

“Jessica” I said the same way she did.

I wasn’t to fond of her just like Poppie wasn’t either. Like he says all the time, the only good thing that came outta them was Mercy.

“Ion know why the fuck you sittin down for like we friends. You may leave.” He said.

She rolled her eyes.“Look Poppie im not hear to argue with you. I need to talk to you about some real shit.”

“Okay.” He said waiting for her to go on.

“Alone.” She said then looked at me.

“Bitch just ask me to leave damn. Trynna throw hints and shit, com'on Mercy.” I said as I stood up and took her little hand.

When I walked out the door I accidentally ran into some one. “My fault ma.” I heard the New Orleans accent pop out.

I quickly looked up to see who it was. “N-no it was my bad.” I said.

“Hey August!” Mercy said excitedly.

“Wait, aren’t you that-”

“Yea and hey princess.” He said to her.

Why never thought I would see August Alsina….in Poppies warehouse. As a matter of fact why is her here?

Before I could asked the door swung open, revealing a angry Jessica. “Com'on Mercy.” She said as she snatched her hand from mine. I should knock her ass out but the little one is here.

While she stormed off me and August walked into Poppie’s office. “August! Wassup nigga.” Poppie said, standing up.

After a few minutes of them talking we all finally sat down. I didn’t know August was still in the game and I damn sure aint know he was with Poppie.

“Alright Tyler back to what we was talkin about. I know dad was talkin about opening a bunch of warehouses but never got to it.”

I nodded my head. If this nigga was only gonna tell me about another warehouse he could of most def could have been said over the phone.

“Well im gonna open one in New York but imma need someone to run it… and I want that person to be you.” He said.

“WHAT?” Both me and August said in unison.

My head immediately snapped in his direction. I know why I said what, but why did he?

“How you gone let a girl run the warehouse? You said that I could!” He shouted.

I wasn’t even going to let what he said phase me. I want to run this warehouse but how would that look to Chris. How am I gonna tell him to get out of it when im only getting deeper. Plus its in New York, meaning we would have to move there.

“Nigga shut that shit up, thats my sister. Of course imma let her run it. But its all up to her. Do you wanna run the warehouse in NY?”

Chris P.O.V

“Chris im glad you could finally meet with us. We’ve been calling you for months now.” Tina said as we both took a seat on the couches around the comfortable office.

All of this was foreign to me. I didn’t know what to expect. All they said is that they wanted to meet with me.

“Well thank you for having me. And I know iv'e just been really busy but why have you guys been calling so much?” I asked, curious as to why they were blowing up my shit.

“Well a couple of months ago there was a video put up on YouTube of you singing. I don’t know if you knew or not. But um after seeing that video and reading all the comments and the views, I figured we had to snatch you up.” She said, making me kind of feel good about my self.

“But yall only saw one video. And how did yall find me?" 

"Well after seeing that video we searched all over for you. High and low until we finally got to someone that was connected to you. They lead us to you. And one video was all we needed to see.”

“Um if you don’t mind me asking, who was it?”

“Uh I think his name was Michael.” She said.

I nodded my head, clenching my jaw alittle. “Don’t be mad at him though. You should actually be happy, not to many people get this offer.” She said.

Just as I was about to come say something, someone came threw the door. “Oh im sorry.” A strong Caribbean accent said.

I looked back only to see Rihanna herself standing in the door way. Damn, she was badder in person. “Hey Rihanna."Tina said.

"Hey T, um do you know where the studio is?” She asked her. we made eye contact for a little while but it felt like a long ass time.

“Uh two doors down.” Tina said.

“Thank you.” She said then walked out the room, making sure to close the door behind her.

“So imma just get to the point. We want you with Jive Records. You have the look, you have the voice, and I can see you doing it big in this business. Like Michael Jackson big.”

If I were to take this offer a lot could change. I could make a lot of people in my life happy. Michael was right, I don’t want my little girl to grow up like her parents, I want her to do better then us and have much more options then we did.

But I can’t just up and leave the game like it never did shit to me. Its the reason who I am today. I can’t just throw my who life away like it never mattered.

“So what do you say Chris? Do you want to sign to Jive Records?”

Here I go, and if it doesn’t go well, please just don’t blog about it.
Right before I left for college, I was running my high school. Feel it. I knew where to park, I knew where to get the best chicken-cutlet sandwich, I knew which custodians had pot. People knew me. They liked me. I was an athlete and a good friend. I felt pretty, I felt funny, I felt sane. Then I got to college in Maryland. My school was voted number one … for the hottest freshman girls in Playboy that year. And not because of me. All of a sudden, being witty and charismatic didn’t mean shit. Day after day, I could feel the confidence drain from my body. I was not what these guys wanted. They wanted thinner, blonder, dumber … My sassy one-liners were only working on the cafeteria employees, who I was visiting all too frequently, tacking on not the Freshman 15, but the 30, in record-breaking time, which led my mother to make comments over winter break like, “You look healthy!” I was getting no male attention, and I’m embarrassed to say, it was killing me.

But one guy paid me some attention — Matt. Matt was six feet tall, he looked like a grown-up von Trapp child, and he was five years older than me. What?! An older boy, paying attention to me? I must be okay. Uff. I made him laugh in our bio lab, and I could tell a couple times that we had a vibe. He was a super senior, which is a sexy way of saying “should have graduated, but needed an extra year.” He barely spoke, which was perfect for all the projecting I had planned for him. We grew up in the same town, and getting attention from him felt like success. When I would see him on campus, my heart would race, and I would smile as he passed. I’d look in the mirror and see all the blood rise to my face. I’d spend time analyzing the interaction, and planning my outfit for the next time I saw him. I wanted him to call. He never called. But then finally, he called.

It was 8 a.m., my dorm room phone rang. “Amy, wassup? It’s Matt. Come over.” Holy shit! This is it, I thought. He woke up thinking about me! He realized we’re meant to start a life together! Let’s just stop all this pretending that we weren’t free just to love one another! I wondered, would we raise our kids in the town we both grew up in, or has he taken a liking to Baltimore? I don’t care. I’ll settle wherever he’s most comfortable. Will he want to raise our kids Jewish? Who cares? I shaved my legs in the sink, I splashed some water under my armpits, and my randomly assigned Albanian roommate stared at me from under her sheets as I rushed around our shitty dorm room. I ran right over to his place, ready for our day together. What would we do? It’s still early enough, maybe we’re going fishing? Or maybe his mom’s in town, and he wanted me to join them for breakfast. Knock-knock. Is he going to carry me over the threshold? I bet he’s fixing his hair and telling his mom, “Be cool, this may be the one!” I’ll be very sweet with her, but assert myself, so she doesn’t think she’s completely in charge of all the holiday dinners we’re going to plan together. I’ll call her by her first name, too, so she knows she can’t mess with me. “Rita! I’m going to make the green bean casserole this year, and that’s that!” Knock-knock. Ring ring. Where is he?

Finally, the door opens. It’s Matt, but not really. He’s there, but not really. His face is kind of distorted, and his eyes seem like he can’t focus on me. He’s actually trying to see me from the side, like a shark. “Hey!” he yells, too loud, and gives me a hug, too hard. He’s fucking wasted. I’m not the first person he thought of that morning. I’m the last person he called that night. I wonder, how many girls didn’t answer before he got to fat freshman me? Am I in his phone as Schumer? Probably. But I was here, and I wanted to be held and touched and felt desired, despite everything. I wanted to be with him. I imagined us on campus together, holding hands, proving, “Look! I am lovable! And this cool older guy likes me!” I can’t be the troll doll I’m afraid I’ve become.

He put on some music, and we got in bed. As that sexy maneuver where the guy pushes you on the bed, you know, like, “I’m taking the wheel on this one. Now I’m going to blow your mind,” which is almost never followed up with anything. He smelled like skunk microwaved with cheeseburgers, which I planned on finding and eating in the bathroom, as soon as he was asleep. We tried kissing. His 9 a.m. shadow was scratching my face — I knew it’d look like I had fruit-punch mouth for days after. His alcohol-swollen mouth, I felt like I was being tongued by someone who had just been given Novocain. I felt faceless, and nameless. I was just a warm body, and I was freezing cold. His fingers poked inside me like they had lost their keys in there. And then came the sex, and I use that word very loosely. His penis was so soft, it felt like one of those de-stress things that slips from your hand? So he was pushing aggressively into my thigh, and during this failed penetration, I looked around the room to try and distract myself or God willing, disassociate. What’s on the wall? A Scarface poster, of course. Mandatory. Anything else? That’s it? This Irish-Catholic son of bank teller who played JV soccer and did Mathletes feels the most connection with a Cuban refugee drug lord. The place looked like it was decorated by an overeager set designer who took the note “temporary and without substance” too far.

He started to go down on me. That’s ambitious, I think. Is it still considered getting head if the guy falls asleep every three seconds and moves his tongue like an elderly person eating their last oatmeal? Chelsea? Is it? Yes? It is. I want to scream for myself, “Get out of here, Amy. You are beautiful, you are smart, and worth more than this. This is not where you stay.” I feel like Fantine and Cosette and every fucking sad French woman from Les Miz. And whoever that cat was who sang “Memories,” what was that musical? Suze Orman just goes, “Cats.” The only wetness between my legs is from his drool, because he’s now sleeping and snoring into me. I sigh, I hear my own heartbreak, I fight back my own tears, and then I notice a change in the music. Is this just a bagpipe solo? I shake him awake. “Matt, what is this? The Braveheart soundtrack? Can you put something else on, please?” He wakes up grumpily, falls to the floor, and crawls. I look at his exposed butt crack, a dark, unkempt abyss that I was falling into. I felt paralyzed. His asshole is a canyon, and this was my 127 Hours. I might chew my arm off.

I could feel I was losing myself to this girl in this bed. He stood up and put a new CD on. “Darling, you send me, I know you send me, honest, you do …” I’m thinking, “What is this?” He crawled back into bed, and tried to mash at this point his third ball into my vagina. On his fourth thrust, he gave up and fell asleep on my breast. His head was heavy and his breath was so sour, I had to turn my head so my eyes didn’t water. But they were watering anyway, because of this song. Who is this? This is so beautiful. I’ve never heard these songs before. They’re gutting me. The score attached to our morning couldn’t have been more off. His sloppy, tentative lovemaking was certainly not in the spirit of William Wallace. And now the most beautiful love songs I’ve ever heard play out as this man-boy laid in my arms, after diminishing me to a last-minute booty call. I listened to the songs and I cried. I was looking down at myself from the ceiling fan. What happened to this girl? How did she get here? I felt the fan on my skin and I went, “Oh, wait! I am this girl! We got to get me out of here!” I became my own fairy godmother. I waited until the last perfect note floated out, and escaped from under him and out the door. I never heard from Matt again, but felt only grateful for being introduced to my new self, a girl who got her value from within her. I’m also grateful to Matt for introducing me to my love Sam Cooke, who I’m still with today.

Now I feel strong and beautiful. I walk proudly down the streets of Manhattan. The people I love, love me. I make the funniest people in the country laugh, and they are my friends. I am a great friend and an even better sister. I have fought my way through harsh criticism and death threats for speaking my mind. I am alive, like the strong women in this room before me. I am a hot-blooded fighter and I am fearless. But I did morning radio last week, and a DJ asked, “Have you gained weight? You seem chunkier to me. You should strike while the iron is hot, Amy.” And it’s all gone. In an instant, it’s all stripped away. I wrote an article for Men’s Health and was so proud, until I saw instead of using my photo, they used one of a 16-year-old model wearing a clown nose, to show that she’s hilarious. But those are my words. What about who I am, and what I have to say? I can be reduced to that lost college freshman so quickly sometimes, I want to quit. Not performing, but being a woman altogether. I want to throw my hands in the air, after reading a mean Twitter comment, and say, “All right! You got it. You figured me out. I’m not pretty. I’m not thin. I do not deserve to use my voice. I’ll start wearing a burqa and start waiting tables at a pancake house. All my self-worth is based on what you can see.” But then I think, Fuck that. I am not laying in that freshman year bed anymore ever again. I am a woman with thoughts and questions and shit to say. I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story — I will. I will speak and share and fuck and love and I will never apologize to the frightened millions who resent that they never had it in them to do it. I stand here and I am amazing, for you. Not because of you. I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.

—  Amy Schumer, Badass
Chapter 11

Christopher Maurice Brown

I sluggishly got out of the bed as my alarm clock rung making me groan before turning it off, every since Asia got full custody of Ava I’ve been down. Ion even hang out with the boys as much and I haven’t seen Lani in damn near a week, it’s like losing Ava was like losing the other side of me without her I feel lost I really miss my chunky mama. What Asia pulled a court was fucked up and low, she fucking act like Ava was in danger when she wasn’t. What’s even more fucked up is that I moved in my condo and Ava is not here to see her room nor is she here to stay with me and enjoy her new home like I should be doing but I can’t because my baby is not here with me. My phone vibrated making me reach for it as I pulled my shirt down. I look and saw that I had a text from Tyga telling me that coach was waiting on me to get down to the court, I grabbed my gym bag from off of the floor also grabbing my keys before heading downstairs into the kitchen. I looked over to see Ava’s high chair placed by the table causing me to sigh out and grab a Gatorade from out the fridge heading out of the kitchen and to the front door, I locked the house up and got inside of my range starting it up and backing out of the driveway heading towards the gym. As I was driving my phone lit up displaying Lani, Ava and I, I need to call Lani as of today because I know I’m hurting her feelings by not calling her I mean what type of boyfriend am I.

Once I arrived to the gym I grabbed my stuff locking my car and heading inside to be greeted by Hang, “Chris what the fuck is your problem”, she spat with her hand on her hip. “Hang miss me with ya attitude because I ain’t trying to hear it”, I grumbled placing my bag on the bleacher making her kiss her teeth. “I don’t care Chris why you been ignoring Alani you got her feeling like you mad at her or something”, she said causing me to feel bad. “I didn’t mean to make her feel like that I’m just sad about the whole Ava situation”, I confessed making her face soften before nodding. “I understand but don’t go pushing Lani away because All she want to do is help you out and be there for you”, she stated making me nod my head. “She on her way”, I questioned hoping that she says yes. “No her and her mother are going to a doctor’s appointment but call her Chris”, I nodded jogging on court only to get yelled at by couch. I don’t have time for this shit…

::::::::

I huffed after nearly two hours of listening to coach bitch about nothing I grabbed my Gatorade and bag heading towards the door. “Ay Chris what you bout to get into”, Marcus called out jogging over to me. “Shit about to hit Lani up since I haven’t talked to her why wassup”, I questioned screwing the top back on the bottle. “Shit Ty and I about to have a smoke session and we was wondering if you wanted to come”, he explained making me shake my head a bit as much as that sounds fun I don’t feel like it right now. “Nah man not today maybe next time”, I mumbled leaving out of the gym and heading inside of my car starting it up. I picked up my phone and clicked on Lani’s name composing a new message…

To: Lani Bear

I know I’ve been ignoring you for damn near a week and I want to apologize can we meet up

From: Lani Bear

Why should we Christopher you know you hurt my feelings by ignoring me you act like I did something to you

To: Lani Bear

I know and that’s why I’m sorry for doing that can you please stop by the house 

From: Lani Bear 

Fine I’ll be there in 20 minutes

I sighed a bit placing my phone in the cup holder before pulling out of the parking lot and heading back home, I already know that Lani isn’t going to forgive me easily but my baby won’t be mad at me for long.

 

Alani Casey Rodgers 

I shook my head a bit at the text messages that Chris just sent me, he expects me to just act like nothing happened and leap into his arms… He has the game really twisted; Chris really hurt my feelings by ignoring me for that long. I mean all I tried to do was be there for him and comfort him but he ignored me and pushed me away hurting my feelings in the mist of it, “Why the long face baby”, my mama asked making me look at her to see her rolling down her shirt. We just got down with seeing how the baby was doing; they told us that in 3 months we’ll know the sex of the baby. I’m praying for a baby brother because we don’t have a lot of boys in our family and plus I just want a brother, “Its Christopher”; I mumbled hitting the home button only to see him and Ava. “Oh first name bases what he do”, she questioned grabbing her purse from off of the chair before walking out of the room with me on her side. “He’s been ignoring me for a week ma and it hurt my feels, now he’s texting me talking about he’s sorry and can we meet up, first off he apologized through a text message do he want me to accept that”, I explained placing my phone on my lap as she pulled out of the parking lot.

“First off I’m not taking sides when I say this but Lani you have to see where he’s coming from, his daughter got taken from him and he’s sad right now meaning he down right now but then again he had no right ignoring you when all you were trying to do was comfort him. I say you talk to him and work things out because you guys are too cute to be going through this”, she gushed causing me to laugh a little. I swear my mama stans for our relationship, I mean she mapped everything out for us meaning we’re going to get married and I’m going to have 4 of his babies. I kindly stopped her right there because ain’t no way I’m pushing out four kids. Two is the max.”Call me later to tell me how things went”, she said as she pulled up in front of my apartment complex.

“Alright mama love you”, I kissed her cheek before getting out of the car heading to the front door. Once I got inside of my apartment only to be hit by the A.C, I moaned lowly kicking my shoes off heading into my room stripping out of my sweater and leggings replacing them with a tank top and shorts. I don’t know what possessed me to wear a sweater in 80 degree weather; I looked at my now curly hair slightly groaning. I hate when my hair gets too curly, it’s hard to maintain. I headed back to the front with my phone in my hand going inside of the kitchen, as I placed a few grapes in a bowl I decided to text Christopher to let him know that he can come over so we can talk. I grabbed my bowl and sat on the couch scrolling through instagram as I ate, I sighed out a bit looking around my apartment. I swear it gets lonely when I’m by myself; I need a puppy or something. I was knocked out of my thoughts by a knock at the door. I popped my last grape in my mouth placing the bowl on the table heading over to the door, I opened it to see Christopher standing there looking good as ever, he had on a white beater and a pair of basketball shorts. I bit down on my lip causing him to chuckle a bit,

“Are you done because it’s hot in this hallway”, he said causing me to snap out of my trance and look up at him. “Whatever”, I mumbled walking back over to the couch sitting down. He soon came over and sat down pulling me onto his lap, “Christopher you suppose to be over here explaining not trying to cuddle with me”, I said crossing my arms making him sigh out. “I’m sorry ma like honestly it wasn’t my intentions  to ignore you it’s been a rough week for me simply because I don’t have Ava anymore and it’s killing me I miss my chunky mama so much like I feel like a piece of me is missing”, he explained causing me to frown and grab his cheeks. “Chris I know how you feel but that don’t mean you had to treat me like that, I was only trying to be there for you”, I said causing him to nod and peck my lips. “I know baby I’m sorry”, he apologized again before kissing me once more. I wrapped my arms around his neck moaning out as his hands slid into my shirt caressing my sides, I don’t know how but I ended up laying down on the couch with him on top of me sucking on different parts of my neck. “Can I show you how sorry I am”?, he whispered pulling my shirt up a bit making me panic. “No Chris we can’t”, I managed to say pushing him off of me.

He looked at me with a confused look before sitting up, “What’s up why not”, he asked making me bite down on my lip. How in the hell am I going to tell this man that I’m a virgin without feeling embarrassed. “I-Um I think we’re moving to fast”, I rushed out causing him to stare at me. “You’re lying Lani what’s the real reason”, he asked pulling me back onto his lap. “I’m a virgin Chris”, I mumbled burying my face into his neck not wanting to see his reaction. “Damn.. why you embarrassed about it”, I lifted my head up to see him smiling at me. “You don’t find it weird that I’m 19 and a virgin”, I asked raising my eyebrow at him. “Nah I actually find that to be a good thing simply because that means you haven’t been out here and nobody has been in my shit”, he bit down on his lip squeezing my ass in the process. “Your shit huh”, I moaned out causing him to nod his head.

“Hell yeah this mines and when I get inside best believe you’re going to be like Oh Chris it’s all yours, I’m yours”, he tried to sound like me causing me laugh out. “Nothing on my body belongs to you sir and I’m not going to be like an-“, I was cut off by him placing one of his hands in my shorts slowly rubbing my clit. “What were you saying”, he whispered in my ear as I bit down on my lip trying to suppress my moans in which I failed at. “Chriss”, I moaned out feeling a weird feeling shoot through my body as his pace increased. “Wassup”, he whispered in a husky tone slightly rubbing a little harder. “Oh gosh mhn”, I began to move my hips while burying my face back into his neck. “It feels good huh”, he bit down on my ear causing me to nod my head quickly feeling a tight pinch in my stomach. I felt one of his fingers poke at my entrance and I quickly grabbed his hand out of fear, “Relax Lani if you don’t want me to do it I won’t”, I bit down on my lip feeling stupid at the fact that I’m too chicken to let him do it. “I’m sorry I’m acting like a chicken”, I sighed out running my fingers through my curls. He took his hand out of my shorts and shook his head lightly pecking my lips, “Don’t trip I know your new to this that’s why I won’t pressure you to do anything that you don’t want me to do”, I nodded shifting a little in his lap due to me sitting on something hard. “Chris why do I feel something hard”, I furrowed my eyebrows and moved off of his lap to see that he was hard.

“Oh gosh I’m sorry”, I blushed at the fact that I got him worked up for nothing. “Yeah mhn hmn you caused this with your moans and shit”, he stood up and adjusted his self before turning to look at me. “You know I’m going to need some lotion right”, he said causing me to laugh a bit before grabbing his hand and leading him to my room handing him the lotion. “Shit not funny Lani, but I won’t be doing this for long because when I get inside of my pus-“, I cut him off by pushing him into the bathroom not able to take his sex talk. I heard him chuckle a bit causing me to walk out of the room, I felt something wet in my underwear causing me to furrow my eyebrows, than it click… he made me wet. I sat on the couch not knowing how to feel I mean I’m fully aroused but scared to let him do anything sexual to me.

I need to stop being such a damn chicken.. Gosh the things that man do to me

Christopher Maurice Brown

“Chris I want a puppy”, Lani said while straddling my waist resting her head in the croak of my neck, she decided that she wanted me to stay and cuddle with her since she was going to be lonely if I had of left her. “Mhn why”, I asked causing her to look up at me with a pout. “Because I get lonely here I’m by myself and a puppy will keep me company”, she explained causing me to shake my head. “I told you to just move in with Ava and I, you won’t be bored and you get to lay up with me”, I explained kissing her neck which displayed previously hickies. “Chris you don’t think it’s too soon and plus I can’t just leave my apartment”, she said causing me to kiss my teeth. “Lani just tell them you’re moving and no it’s not too soon, I really want you to live with me”, I confessed causing her to smile at me before pecking my lips. “Aw Chrissy pooh”, she gushed making me kiss my teeth at that name. “Chill”, I grumbled smacking her ass watching it jiggle. She hissed before pouting, “Stop hitting my butt Chris”, she whined making me laugh out and rub it.

“Stop whining so much and I can’t help it”, I grabbed onto it causing her to moan lowly. Her ol freaky ass, “Let me ask you a question”, I said making her look at me before sitting up. “Yes”, her tone came off unease making me rub her thigh. “So you’re a complete virgin to everything huh”, I questioned making her furrow her eyebrows. “What’s everything”, she bit down on her lip making me chuckle a bit. “Like receiving head, getting fingered shit like that”, I answered watching her cheeks flustered red before nodding. “Damn I guess daddy got to teach you a lot of shit”, I said causing her to laugh and place her head in my chest. “Stop it”, I laughed a bit before lifting her head up. “Don’t be embarrassed or shy around me Lani I got you alright”, she nodded before smiling. “Why are you on this subject anyways,” she asked making me shrug a bit. “Because I noticed how you reacted when I was about to finger you that’s why I asked”, she nodded biting down on her lip.

“I wanted you to continue but I was scared that it was going to hurt and it was my first time doing something like that “, she stated making me nod my head and bit down on my lip I feel like Lani a undercover freak. “Mhn hmn just wait till I put a lil breezy in ya life you gone be hooked watched”, she laughed before placing her head on my chest sliding her hands up my shirt which is another habit of hers. “Yeah ok Chrissy pooh”, I kissed her forehead before grabbing my ringing phone off of her nightstand to see that Asia was calling me. I quickly pressed the answer button putting the phone up to my ear.

Chris: What’s up is Ava ok

Asia: She’s fine Chris I wanted to discuss your visitations rights

Chris: Alright so what did you come up with \

Asia: I decided that we can do joint custody meaning you can get her 3 weeks out of the month 

Chris: I’m glad that you came to that conclusion I appreciate it

Asia: I know I feel like I’m coming in-between you and Ava’s relationship I mean I see how attached she is to you and me having full custody isn’t going to work out

Chris: Yeah I know so when can I come get her

Asia: Tomorrow is fine actually she really misses you and plus we can talk a little more about the situation

Chris: Alright I’ll see y’all tomorrow

Asia: Ok

I hung up the phone smiled causing Lani to look up at me, “Well what happened”, she questioned making me smile a bit. “She said that I can have joint custody of her and we’re going to talk things out tomorrow”, She smiled brightly and clapped her hands. “Aw I can’t wait to see my little princess I miss her chubby self”, she gushed causing me to laugh and agree with her. I’m just glad that I get my baby tomorrow; my little family will be complete once Lani decides to move in with me.