I’m sorry that I haven’t had the opportunity to come onto here in such a long time, as I have started work and had no time or energy to spare to tell you this:
Admin Erika has been kicked off of all of my blogs due to what she has done to myself and my family in real life. She had come up to move with us and frequently lied and other things so we kicked her out and we sent her back home. The one person that I always thought would be there for me, who wouldn’t lie to me or manipulate me, did and that was a very painful truth and lesson to both learn and face. She’s a coward and twisted, a very vile snake and that’s all that I will say about this.
The reason that I have decided to post the things she had wrote on this blog was so you all wouldn’t be let down, and some of her work was quite decent, which I told her myself.
I’m afraid that all of the posts before this are the ABSOLUTE LAST things that I will be writing and posting upon this blog. Why? I do not feel that Tumblr is the same place that it was the first day that I started up this blog about a year or so ago. The fandom’s are surely not the same and I have seen quite an increase of selfish desire in a lot of my reader’s and follower’s to have their thirst for fanfiction met more than the person behind it all’s, - creating it all’s-, need’s being met or mental, emotional, physical, etc. need’s being met. And you know what? I don’t need that in my life right now.
For a long time I haven’t had the thirst or the passion or the drive to keep up with the growing demand of writing fanfiction for you all because hardly anybody actually realizes that there’s a person beyond the keyboard or device that is being used, and I find that sad, as I have always thrived to treat those with respect and love, and always in the way in which that I would like to be treated, but that is not being returning to me on my blogs and I am tired of it. It seems that a lot of you just do not care about me as a person like you used to or whether you ever have, and you expect and expect and expect the world from me, but I cannot give you that.
Another reason as to why I am leaving this blog is due to the fact that my life is changing and so are priorities. I’m working now, I no longer feel that need for diving into fictional writing, because I’ve gotten to a stage in my life that I adore where I am, I love work and I love my life and family; I’m so much more confident, happy and appreciative in life and I truly mean that. I’ve also lost the drive to write or really think of fictional worlds because Admin Erika ruined that for me and she made very many things clear to me, and how I was before wasn’t healthy. She helped me to learn that I deserve better in this world, in this life and I need to start being myself, being true to who I am, instead of bending and pleasing everyone else. Because I can’t do that. I can only please myself and those who truly matter.
I grew up with an imaginative mind. I always wanted to be a writer. I grew up with thinking about fandom’s or thinking about my role models cheering me on every step of the way - even when I was going through the roughest moments or even the most thrilling of moments -; and I do not denote that in anyone else. Nor do I pity anyone for doing that, in fact, I cherish people whom look up to fictional character’s or whatever it may be, because let’s get real here: Fictional world’s are horrible. I mean that, most fictional worlds have trouble’s in them and character’s overcome phenomenal things and teach us strength and many other things.
I will always remember what these fictional characters have taught me in my life, but for now I need to put this all to rest because I’m growing up, new opportunities are presenting themselves to me in my life and there are many new people to meet and places to go to and all sorts of things that I have yet to discover. I made the step to close my laptop, step out of my door and out of my comfort zone and for that I am grateful for.
When I started this blog, I wasn’t in a very good place, mentally or emotionally or financially or anything, but I have overcome mountains through writing, through fictional world’s, through having the courage to evolve and grow as a person. And I am completely content with that. I started this blog wanting to spread some love to fandom’s that hadn’t gotten much love, and had the courage to start up two other blogs too; @lostinnarutoscenarios@thekeytoerebor. And I will always remember how it really did start: Through Twilight and The Little Vampire, etc. But the one that really made me strong was The Outsiders. I remember coming into class in grade 7, I was twelve years old and my teacher told us about a new book we’d be reading in class, and through that I met a wonderful gang of boys who all helped me to become who I am today, and everyday I preach the lessons that those boys and S.E Hinton have taught me. I found my passion through written through that novel, movie, TV series and I am forever grateful for The Outsiders coming into my life and blessing it with such knowledge, wisdom, comfort and the Universe only knows what more!
This is heart wrenching for me because my family and true friends know how much I love writing, but my passion isn’t there for fanfiction any more. I am not sorry to say goodbye to all the wonderful people I have met upon all three of my blogs, because I have loved each and very one of you who have supported me, hearted my posts, reblogged my posts, shouted my stuff out or my blog out, given me such beautiful messages when I was having so much hate and hurt coming through my inbox or in my real physical life. You have helped me have so much confidence within myself and I love all of you to the moon and back (and I only ever say such things when I truly mean it).
Now is the time for me to turn over another page in my life, end a chapter, but also to end this book of my life, and to open a new one. Now is the time for me to open that brand new front cover with passion, hunger, confidence, love, happiness, and so much more, and read that first word, that first sentence, that first paragraph and page and persevere and carry on.
This isn’t goodbye forever - or maybe it may be-, you never know, one day I may have that passion and thirst back for writing, for fanfiction, for goodness knows what else that has to do with writing, and I may come back and spread what I have learnt. So I will definitely say goodbye and farewell for now, my lovelies, my sunshine’s my sweetheart’s, my sweetie’s, my follower’s and my supporter’s.
I wish nothing but the best for all of you, and I hope you find yourselves and what you would like to do in life. Never mind what other’s say, okay? Your dreams are valid and they are true, and you CAN accomplish anything as long as you believe in yourself. Opportunities come in many shapes and forms, as do blessings and I hope many miracles and blessings come into your lives. Thank you for ALWAYS blessing my life - to those who have on here - with such love and support, I truly respect, admire and love you all!
Remember to always be open and try something new. Take that first step. That first step may not always be as you expected or the happy break you were looking for, but persevere like all of our fictional character’s and inspirations, role models, etc. have taught us to do. Do not be afraid of change, but embrace it with grace, love and gratitude, because as one door closes, another door opens. As one page turns, another one begins. As one book ends, another one begins. As one thing begins, another one ends. Life continues on.
Never be afraid to try something out of your comfort zone, explore and create your life the way you would like it to be, because it takes courage to form your life with your interests. And NEVER EVER let ANYONE tell you that your dreams and goals, your aspirations, etc. are impossible, because they aren’t. I believe everyone has a purpose - and I don’t give a single damn if you give me hate for it - and I believe that we are all here for a reason. As long as you have courage, be kind, are accepting of other’s and receptive and just spread love and light, good will always come your way.
Remember, your thoughts create your reality and it is always daunting to begin that first step to achieve your dreams, etc. but all of those great people out there who have accomplished their dreams or are on the road to finding out or realizing their dreams have always carried on or overcome so much. Your life is amazing, no matter what you go through and never let anyone tell you that your views, opinions, beliefs, race, where you come from, your background, your life experience, etc. is worthless, dis-countable, appropriate to be undermined or stepped on, etc. because they are wrong. As long as you come from a place of love and goodness, you, your beliefs, etc. are valid and important and should be appreciated, accepted and so much more.
Accept all areas of yourself, explore your gifts, natural talents, or even begin things that you never thought you’d be good at, okay? Because you’d honestly surprise yourself. I’ve learnt that I am a creative, honest, loving, amazing person who has so much passion and good to share with this world. I have learnt that I am amazing at art, dancing, counselling and helping other’s, hair & beauty, fashion, interior decorating, scrap booking, shining some light in other people’s day, being a phenomenal friend and so much more, right? And you know what? I’m going to explore and stay open and not turn down these new opportunities, etc. that comes into my life because every day is a new day and life is what you make it and I’m choosing to make my life great.
I’m wishing you all a lot of love and blessing’s, peace and goodness in all forms and ways because I love each and every one of you wholly and fully. Visit my blogs at ANY time you’d like, read my imagines, look at my posts, etc. and I hope I’ve given and continue to give you inspiration, hope, admiration, light in your life and so much more. I hope I’ve been and continue to be a positive influence upon you all.
I love you all! Peace and love, lovelies. This is goodbye for now. 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍- Admin Kat 💟
Yesterday I woke up with a splitting allergy headache since I realized only the night before that I had no more allergy meds and obviously couldn’t leave my child asleep alone to go get more. Although I felt like going back to bed after taking my child to school, I decided to tough it out and go on a walk instead. It is during these walks that I talk to Jesus with complete trust and openness, with all the freedom and spontaneity as when I was a child, and still as I grew up my prayers never became very structured and formal, but mostly random thoughts transitioning from asking God for help with various things, asking Him to see over and protect loved ones, asking for forgiveness, to expressing gratitude for the abundance in my life. But during this walk as I focused on my breathing and took in all the sites, sounds, and smells of nature around me, I started to feel so emotional and felt unable to put my thoughts in an aligned pattern that would resemble anything like words in a prayer. The more I tried to pray, the more frustrated and guilty I felt for not being able to focus. So I took a deep breath and I stopped walking. I sat on a large rock and I closed my eyes. I decided that I would stop trying to talk to God, and that I would let Him talk to me instead. I would just breathe, and I would just feel His presence, and allow my thoughts to be whatever they needed to be. I decided in that moment that just by existing, I am a living and breathing prayer. I am the manifestation of my needs and my wants, and God knows what they are. Just by opening my heart to God and allowing Him to guide my actions towards people, my feelings and my thoughts everyday, I am already solemnly asking Him to embrace me and others around me, and I am already demonstrating immense gratitude. As I walked to my car I felt heard. I felt that He heard all the words I didn’t say. I felt clean and renewed. I felt ready to get out there and be an instrument of his love. If God lives in me, He radiates from me.