love chugs

"I think I'm doing witchcraft"
  • Me, staring at a candle for a solid 23 minutes: ........
  • Me, swinging a pendulum: should I have macaroni and cheese for dinner?
  • Me, talking to rocks: hello I love you everyone gets to be kissed
  • Me, kissing my rocks: cleansed♡
  • Me, lighting incense and waving it around: YeSSS
  • Me, throwing herbs into a bottle: okay yeah uh rosemary represents like.. love. I think. This is a love potion. Yeah
  • Me, chugging piping hot tea: SELF CARE

12x14 watching notes

this show normally never makes me cry except that 1 episode in season 7, but god dammit Berens got me TWICE I’m disowning him

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Female comedians: here’s our movie where we act just as raunchy as guys!!!!! Woohoo!!!! We love chugging dick!!!! Look at this dude’s abs, we’re objectifying him!!! Feminism amirite!!!
Me, a lesbian: …… woohoo.

How to Die like an Ancient Philosopher

Empedocles: leap into a dormant volcano
Protagoras: run into the shore. in a ship.
Socrates: gargle w/ hemlock juice
Plato: either get serenaded TOO HARD or just generally party TOO HARD
Isocrates: go on a crash diet
Diogenes: eat raw octopus, get bitten by a dog, hold your breath indefinitely
Anaxarchus: get pounded w/ a giant mortar and pestle while loling
Xenocrates: trip over a pot
Epicurus: piss bricks
Zeno of Citium: trip, break your toe, hold your breath indefinitely
Chrysippus: get a donkey drunk, laugh at it
Lucretius: chug a love potion and let it do the rest
Hypatia: anger a mob of christians
Boethius: get strangled by your boss

friend: hey, what’s up

me: Nick never loved me. He loved a girl who doesn’t exist. A girl I was pretending to be. The Cool Girl. Men always use that as the defining compliment, right? She’s a cool girl. Being Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker and dirty jokes, who plays videogames and chugs beer, loves threesomes and anal sex and jams chilidogs into my mouth like I’m hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang-bang –while remaining a size 2, because cool girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool girls never get angry at their men, they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner. Go ahead! Shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the cool girl. I waited patiently-years-for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, yeah, he’s a cool guy. Instead, women across the nation colluded in our degradation! Pretty soon every girl was Cool Girl, and if you weren’t, then there was something wrong with you.But it’s tempting, to be Cool Girl. For someone like me, who likes to win, it’s tempting to be the girl every guy wants.When I met Nick I knew that’s what he wanted. For him, I was willing to try. I couldn’t have been Cool Girl with anyone else. I wouldn’t have wanted to. Nick teased things out in me I didn’t know existed: A lightness, a humor, an ease. And I made him smarter, sharper. I forced him to rise to my level. I was happier for those few years, pretending to be someone else, than I ever have been before or after. But then it had to stop, because it wasn’t me! I hated Nick for being surprised when I became me. He couldn’t believe I didn’t love wax-stripping my pussy raw and blowing him on request. That my fantasy baseball team was not a labor of love. It had to stop. Committing to Nick, feeling safe with Nick, being happy with Nick, made me realize that there was a Real Amy in there, and she was so much better, more interesting and complicated and challenging, than Cool Girl. But Nick wanted Cool Girl anyway. Can you imagine, finally showing your true self to your soulmate, and having him not like you? 


I love manta rays :D

Official list right now includes cuttlefish, shrimp/mantis mermaid, eels/moray, deep sea fish, hagfish, lionfish, blue sea slug, seahorse, nurse shark, angel, and fairy.

Requests are still open till the 31 and I need about 5  more to reach Mermay quota so if there’s something you want to see that’s not on the list feel free to send one in. :)

You’re Keeping the Outfit, Right?

Summary: Based on the quote from CA:TFA “You’re keeping the outfit, right?” Bucky finally makes his intentions for Steve known and they have fun with the Captain America costume.

Author: buckysplums14

Pairings: Bucky x Steve (first Stucky smut!)

Word Count: 2364 (that was longer than I thought it would be, lol)

Warnings: fluffy and angsty to start, SMUT, unprotected sex, role playing (but not really, because he IS Captain America)

“Another beer, please?” Bucky grumbled to the bar tender. He held his hand out expectantly and grabbed the perspiring glass, gulping it down in one go. He sniffled and wiped his face, eyes welling up with tears. Just earlier that day he had been strapped to a cold table, mumbling, sore, starving, tired… afraid. That was, until he saw Steve. It wasn’t the Steve he remembered, however, this Steve was taller, stronger, and healthier. Seeing his beautiful face again brought Bucky more joy than he’d ever felt in his whole life. He’d been carried out in Steve’s arms, feeling how strong he’d become. Steve didn’t need him anymore… now that he was Captain America.

Bucky sighed and gestured to the bartender for another beer. He had always admired Steve.

No, not admired… loved.

He chugged his second beer and swallowed hard. He had loved Steve for longer than he’d like to admit. There were too many times he slept on Steve’s floor, entertained him when he was sick, helped him with his homework, gave him advice on girls… hell, even then he’d pretended a time or two that the dame he was taking to the carnival or to the movies was Stevie.

He had protected Steve from bullies in grammar school, sang to cheer him up when he was bed-ridden, and even taught him how to dance in their kitchen. He loved Steve. That was that. Now Steve wouldn’t need him anymore, he’d keep him around for old times’ sake, but he’d eventually realize that Bucky no longer served a purpose in his life. He heard the roaring laughter of the Howling Commandos from the other room and saw Steve walking into the room.

“You see? I told you… they’re aaall idiots.” Bucky drank again.

He sat down next to Bucky. “How ‘bout you? You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?” he smiled, hopefully.

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The Black Pearl Ring 2/5

Inspired by the Donovan family books by Elizabeth Lowell. An Olicity AU where Felicity comes in possession of the much sought after Donovan Black Pearl.

I’d like to say a very special thank you to @captainolicitysbedroom for creating such beautiful artwork and to @almondblossomme for all her support being willing to proof read. I’m very, very grateful!

Also available on AO3

                              Chapter 2: Let My Love Open the Door

Star City

Felicity had spent her night tossing and turning so she was actually glad when her alarm went off at 6am. She hopped out of bed ready to start her day – just as soon as she ingested enough coffee to feed an elephant. It was going to be a many coffee kind of day but she had survived those before.

She took a hot shower as the Keurig starting making her first cup. She grabbed the coffee cup from the machine and brought it into the bathroom with her as she got ready for the day, drying her blonde hair, pulling it back into the sensible pony tail she loved. She quickly chugged the end of her first cup of coffee and brushed her teeth. Now for lipstick, she picked a bright pink to put on. To make your lips pop, she could hear her mother’s voice in her head.

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when i was younger i had a galah that would snuggle in the hoods of my jackets to watch morning cartoons with me and say welcome home each day after school. i really want a bird again