love can heal

Live  in the Present

‘The present moment is all we have, and it becomes the doorway to true calm, your healing refuge. The only place you can love, or heal, or awaken is here and now, the eternal present. Create life a day at a time. You cannot know the future. It is a mystery. But you can plant beautiful seeds here and now and learn to tend them with the love and courage and survival instinct that is inborn in you. Somerset Maugham once said, “There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” He wrote marvelous novels, the only way we can, a page at a time.

Becoming aware and mindful is not some magical cure. Your problems will not automatically and easily disappear. Being anxious and sad, angry and fearful, hurt, lost, and even despairing in difficult times is part of the natural process of suffering. Even being overwhelmed by challenging emotions is a natural part of the journey. If you judge yourself against some impossible ideal of how you think you “should” be feeling and acting as you struggle, you’ll only add to your suffering.

Being alive is finding ourselves in the midst of a great and mysterious paradox. There are ten thousand joys and sorrows in every life, and at one time or another we will be touched by all of them. We will all experience birth and death, success and loss, love and heartbreak, joy and despair. And in every moment of your life there are millions of humans just like you all over the world who are being confronted by situations that are equally overwhelming and are struggling to somehow learn how to survive them. As George Washington Carver said, “How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong … because some day in life you will have been all of these.”

Listen to your thoughts with mindful awareness. You will see the evanescent nature of thoughts, that they are fleeting ideas, all impermanent. And then you can begin to realize that just because you have a thought doesn’t mean you have to believe it—much less act on it—and certainly not get caught up in the whole stream of them. You can release the mind of some of its more dangerous patterns. Observing the mind with mindfulness brings liberation.

After you learn to see what’s in your mind and learn to release or disidentify with the unhealthy patterns, you discover a deeper level of liberation. My teacher Sri Nisargadatta explained it like this: “The mind creates the abyss and the heart crosses it.” When you rest in the present moment with mindfulness, you open to a presence which is timeless and beyond the understanding of thought. It’s by returning to the awareness beyond thoughts that you experience real healing. When your mind and heart open, you realize who you are, the timeless, limitless awareness behind all thought.

- Jack Kornfield, A Lamp in the Darkness: Illuminating the Path Through Difficult Times.

2

°Happy Imagine based on the song Photograph by Ed Sherran


Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it’s the only thing that I know (know)
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it’s the only thing we take with us when we die

Seeing Happy behind glass was never easy. It was few and far in between when something would happen with the club and a couple of the guys would get locked up.

It just so happens it was Happy’s turn.

I picked up the phone, waiting for him to do the same.

As soon as the phone hit his ear, he smiled at me, “Hey Baby Girl.”

“Hey Hap.”

He looked to the side of him as a guard walked by. “How was the drive?”

I sighed, proping my head up on my hand, “Grueling. Damn traffic and then my ass fell alseep.”

His eyes darkened. Pointing a finger at me, he squinted his eyes, “Don’t talk to me about your ass if I can’t even see it, baby.”

I winked at him, blowing him a kiss.

He squirmed in his seat, growling.

We had to tone it down so he wouldn’t get in trouble. “So when are you getting transfered to Stockton?”

At least at that prison, you could sit with someone without the glass and damn phones. They even allowed conjugal visits. Plus it wasn’t as far of a drive as this prison.

“Should be by next week.”

“Well, you best behave because I want to see you and hug you without this shit, Hun.”

“Yes, Ma'am. The kids listening?” He asked, leaning forward.

I nodded, “Of course.”

“Time’s up!” A guard yelled.

Happy looked straight at me, “Remember it gets easier, baby girl. I love you.” He said, scooching his seat back.

Tears welded in my eyes, “I love you too Happy. Be careful.”

He smiled, “Always Baby Girl… Always.” He hung up and left before he could get into trouble.

°°°°°°
So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin’ me closer
‘Til our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone

°°°°°°

I took the photo out of my jeans, then sat down at the metal table. It would be the first time that I’d get to see Happy without anything between us since he was picked up.

The photo was for Hap to put under his pillow.

The door buzzed, Happy walking through the doors looking, well, happy. I stood, a big grin on my face.

Luckily we were the only ones in the room and the guard put his back to us. I raised an eyebrow at Hap as he briskly walked to me.

He picked me up, having me lock my legs around his waist.

Just as he was fixing to kiss me, I pulled back, worried.

“Had a favor and used it. Now let me kiss my wife.”

He put a hand on the back of my head and the other on my ass. Pulling me forward, I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped from me at the contact of his lips.

Throughly he tasted my lips, giving my backside a squeeze with each stroke of our tounges.

“Ease up a bit Lowman.” The guard warned.

We rested our foreheads together as he sat down, enjoying this little bit of peace.

Since Hap was in Stockton, they were a little bit more lenient with certain contraband depending on what you were in for.

I grabbed the photo from behind him and handed it over.

It was a Polaroid that was taken of us at one of Gemma’s cookouts.

Hap ran his thumb across it, smirking.

“At least here, you won’t be fully alone and I can sleep right next to you.”

Hap grunted, “Under my pillow or shirt. Ain’t none of these bastards getting a peek of what’s mine, baby.”

I laughed, resting my head on his shoulder. We sat like that for the longest time until the guard told us to wrap it up.

I got off of Hap’s lap, pulling him up to stand.

“You stay safe and come home to me; you hear me Lowman?”

He kissed me deeply, really getting as much as he could from me before having to leave.

“Anything for you, baby girl.”

We hugged each other tightly until he was pulled away. At least the guard was nice enough to apologize for having to break it up.

°°°°°°
When I’m away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
“Wait for me to come home.”

°°°°°°

Our frickin’ car was over heating, so I wasn’t able to make it to see Happy this past week. Gah, I was pissed off to the point of tears!

It was beginning to be too much for me. Photos of us to last the rest of his sentence? I was bound to go stir crazy!

My cell went off, the number unknown.

“Hello?”

“Hey baby girl.”

“Hap!? But how-”

“Don’t worry about the how, baby.”

I plopped down on the couch, sighing. “I miss you so much, Happy.”

“I know what you mean, Y/N.”

I wiped a tear that fell down my cheek.

“Listen, baby girl. You remember our first kiss?”

I smiled.

We were riding one night and got caught in a storm, soaking us, so Hap pulled over under a bridge.

I had been shivering and Happy had held me to him. He lowered his head and kissed the rain that had wet our faces from my lips.

It really was one those cheesy, romantic movie moments, but we wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

Someone knocked on the door.

I got up off of the couch, continuing to talk to Happy.

“Of course I do.”

As I opened the door, Happy stood there, his cell to ear, smiling.

“Wait for me to come home.”

this or that: kdrama edition!

my love from another star or descendants of the sun?
masters sun or its okay that’s love?
doctors or doctor stranger?
cheese in the trap or the heirs?
oh my ghostess or sensory couple?
pinocchio or healer?
reply 1988 or she was pretty?
kill me heal me or I can hear your voice?

Loving can hurt Loving can hurt sometimes But it’s the only thing that I know When it gets hard You know it can get hard sometimes It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph We made these memories for ourselves Where our eyes are never closing Our hearts were never broken And time’s forever frozen still

So you can keep me inside the pocket Of your ripped jeans Holding me close until our eyes meet You won’t ever be alone Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal Loving can mend your soul And it’s the only thing that I know I swear it will get easier Remember that with every piece of ya And it’s the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph We made these memories for ourselves Where our eyes are never closing Our hearts were never broken Time’s forever frozen still

So you can keep me inside the pocket Of your ripped jeans Holding me close until our eyes meet You won’t ever be alone And if you hurt me that’s okay baby Only words bleed Inside these pages you just hold me And I won’t ever let you go Wait for me to come home Wait for me to come home Wait for me to come home Wait for me to come home

So you could fit me Inside the necklace you got When you were sixteen Next to your heartbeat where I should be Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me Well, that’s okay baby Only words bleed Inside these pages you just hold me And I won’t ever let you go

When I’m away I will remember how you kissed me Under the lamppost back on 6th street Hearing you whisper through the phone Wait for me to come home

Photograph by Ed Sheeran

This Rose Quartz specimen is a big hunk a-hunk of burning love. Measuring 5″ by 3 1/2″ and up to 2″ high, this is a great piece to put on your desk, bedside table, altar or anywhere you want to attract love.

Rose Quartz is the Stone of Romance. It brings unconditional love, compassion and happiness. It opens the heart to all types of love. Rose quartz can heal emotional wounds and heartbreak. Balances emotions, calming, soothing, eases guilt and increases creativity. Keep it near you to attract love.

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PSA - Evil Wyatt & Shipping

Also, I keep forgetting to write this up. But! Just a little PSA that I do not romantically ship evil wyatt/Unchanged Future Wyatt at all. I probably don’t ship him in general, seeing as he’s apathetic and only cares about power (and his family, but even they reach limits) but it all depends on who your muse is and the situation. 

Another reason as to why I don’t ship evil wyatt with anyone is because any and all ships with him are extremely toxic. You can’t change him through love because he CAN’T love. He only has a memory of it, which is why he’s so obsessed with and controlling over his family and Chris. Because he doesn’t know anything else with them (there is also a very VERY twisted sense of love with them. but it’s more loyalty, power and gratitude than anything else). 

But another thing is too, is that he doesn’t care about consent at all. This is a power hungry villain who has the power to do whatever he wants. If he wants something? He will take it and there will be no hesitation or remorse over what he’s doing. And I wouldn’t ever be able to rp something like that. I have implied in my rules that IT COULD BE MENTIONED. But I could never actually play it out. Nor do I want to. 

Obito babysitting Naruto for Kushina when she’s on missions and Minato is stuck at work. Kakashi is also on a mission and Rin is at the hospital.

Equals.

Mass chaos of mini prank war that’s all cleaned up before anyone gets home.

They’d walk in to find a couple of toys on the floor and Obito napping with Naruto at his side with some kids show playing.

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Bring your brokenness and I’ll bring mine cause love can heal what hurt divides. 

love isn’t rare. but good love is. finding someone who will respect you and listen to you and help you is rare. and im excited to learn who i can be again without a love that pulls me down and makes me feel small. im terrified because id become dependent on that love, but there’s no point in building a life on a love that hurts you, with someone who is cruel to you.

so while love may not be rare good love is. love can be pure, love can be healing, love can be joyful. and i can’t wait to get to know that love again.
i can’t wait to give that love again rather than complacent and saddened and lonely love.
i still believe in love and after everything i think that’s the important thing.