love betrayed

Kurt Cobain: was mentally and physically abused by his biological father because he had ADHD and was hyperactive which bothered his dad.

Kurt Cobain: his parents didn’t want him to play with poor kids because he was “better than them” and he was forced to wear a sweater he was allergic to so his mom would brag how her kids “were the best dressed kids in town”

Kurt Cobain: thought he was the reason of his parents divorce since his parents usually argued about his up-bringing which made him feel guilty and embarassed 

Kurt Cobain: witnessed his mother being abused by her boyfriend who once broke her arm and felt guilty because he couldn’t do anything about it

Kurt Cobain: moved to live with his dad in a trailer trying to improve their relationship but his dad ended up marrying another woman after promising his 10 year old son not to remarry

Kurt Cobain: couldn’t get along with his step-mom because he felt that if he would love her he would betray his mom and because his father treated his step-siblings better than him which made him withdrawn and deprssed 

Kurt Cobain: he had minor scoliosis but both of his parents didn’t care which caused several physical problems in the future mainly his stomach problems

Kurt Cobain: was forced by his father to practice sports and left his father’s house when he was 14 after a huge argument because he lost a wrestling match 

Kurt Cobain: his mother didn’t want him to come live with her so he had to move from relative to relative. None of his relatives afforded his stay which made him feel depressed and un-wanted

Kurt Cobain: moved to live with his mom and her husband and he was constantly abused by his step-dad for being a virgin and single and often called him “loser” and “faggot”

Kurt Cobain: was bullied in high school for being friends with a gay boy and because he was intersted in arts while the other boys were interested in sports

Kurt Cobain: started smoking pot when he was 13 to deal with his depression and his mother didn’t bother to stop him because she was also smoking pot that she hid in her jewerly box and she even once took a drag from her son’s joint at a party

Kurt Cobain: got kicked out of his mom’s house at 17 because he brought a girl with him to impress his step-dad who would always brag about how many girls he slept with when he was in Kurt’s age

Kurt Cobain: was homeless when he was just 17 and he would sometimes sleep in the library, in the hospital waiting room or on cardboards and he NEVER complained to anyone about it

Kurt Cobain: had to quit school at 18 to find a job to afford his bread and rent a dirty and smelly shack and he went through several jobs including being a janitor at his own high school

Kurt Cobain: he was kicked out of his appartements several times because he couldn’t afford to pay the rent until moving in with his first girlfriend when he was 21

Kurt Cobain: suffered from severe stomach problems because he had  a pinched nerve in his spine caused by his untreated scoliosis and he didn’t talk about it because he didn’t want to bother people which later made him medicate himself using heroin in littles doses to kill the pain   

Kurt Cobain: would sometimes stop in the middle of the performance to check if the people who stage dived were ok

Kurt Cobain: heard the story of a 14 year old girl who got raped and wrote a song about her (Polly) 

Kurt Cobain: hated sexists, racists and homophobes and didn’t want them to come to his shows and always expressed his annoyance because of their presence

Kurt Cobain: respected women dearly and encouraged feminist movements (like Riot Grrrls) 

Kurt Cobain: tried to quit drugs and went to rehab twice in a row. Once when his wife was pregnant and a second time when his daughter was born

Kurt Cobain: accepted to play a benefit for rape survivors in Bosnia and Herzegovina and didn’t get a dime for his performance

Kurt Cobain: wrote a song about rape (Rape Me) because he wanted to attract media’s attention to that issue and kept playing it despite the critics and the controversy that surrounded the song

Kurt Cobain: played a gay rights benefit supporting No-on-Nine

Kurt Cobain: stopped in the middle of the song to defend a girl who was being harrassed and kicked the man out of the show after making him feel ashamed about himself

Kurt Cobain: used his fame to promote good bands who weren’t famous and was bothered by media’s focus on his band only and openly expressed how he thought bands like Soundgarden and Alice In Chains were better and deserve more recogniation

Kurt Cobain: didn’t want to be called “a voice of a generation” because his drug use was exposed and he didn’t want to influence anybody negatively and he felt that he was judged by media which deepened his depresion because of his insecurity and made his drug addiction worse

Media: Kurt Cobain was a rock star junkie who hated fame and commited suicide because of it at age 27

People: Kurt Cobain is an emo pussy! He was a coward for killing himself and he was a junkie loser! He was always complaining about how his life sucked and the only thing he did is whine and sing about depression!

general li mulan

okay so i LOVE mulan okay. as far as i’m concerned it’s a Perfect Movie and doesn’t need any fixing. but i was thinking today and -

- what if mulan didn’t go to war to save her father?

say her father is dead, okay, killed by the previous war. so she’s raised by her mother and grandmother, women who’s complacency and softness has been worn away by necessity. she needs to marry well, for her family’s sake, because her mother has refused the hand of every man who offered. but mulan is even more rough around the edges than before, is educated not only in books (her mother said men wouldn’t find smarts attractive and grandmother pointed out that men aren’t always around and off to school mulan went) but in the sword too, taught to her by her classmate, ping.

mulan is considered in the lower end of the upper class, coming from a family of military men and scholars and successful merchants. ping is near the top, the son or nephew of an advisor to the emperor. his family is very rich and very important, and the reason they become friends is because mulan manages to notice something about him that he’s been hiding from everyone else - he’s going blind.

not totally blind, enough to get around, but blind enough that reading is difficult and swordplay is even worse, although once he has it down he has it. ping is no fool, he’s not weak or bumbling. his eyes just don’t work. so mulan notices and confronts him about it. she promises to keep it a secret, and hey, she’ll even help him with his assignments by reading the books out loud and helping him study. but in return he must teach her the sword, must teach her about military and tactics. he agrees.

ping and mulan become very good friends and there’s some raised eyebrows about it but they are TOO far away in class for it to be inappropriate, so they make tutting sounds and disapproving faces and let it go.

then the draft happens. ping can’t go to war, he won’t survive it. not with his eyesight like it is. so mulan offers him a deal - she’ll go to war for him, in his place. in return, if she survives, he must marry her. if she dies he must take care of her family.

ping can’t make this kind of family decision on his own, so he goes to his mother and tells her everything, about the eyesight and how he’ll die if he goes and mulan’s offer. his mother says he must keep it a secret from his father, but agrees - if mulan fights in her son’s place and survives, a wedding will be arranged. either way, mulan’s family will be taken care of. ping will be sent to live with some cousins in the meanwhile.

“you’re not in love with me, are you?” ping asks, helping mulan saddle her horse in the middle of the night. she scoffs and rolls her eyes, “not even a little. but marrying you will make my family happy, and besides, you’re my best friend,” she says, smiling, “better you than some grabby old man.” he smiles and hugs her and says, “i’m not in love with you either. but don’t die out there. we have a wedding to plan.”

so mulan goes to the camp, pretending to be ping, and she’s a little bit less lost but things still go as they go. she’s educated and trained, so it’s not hard for her to pass as ping. shang is keeping a special eye on her, thinking that she’s the son of an advisor, one of his father’s friends. and he sees how easily she excels, how quick thinking and smart she is, and starts giving her more and more responsibilities. by the time they’re called out, shang considers ping ie mulan to be his right hand man, and possibly his best friend.

he’s also a little bit in love with ping, and he’s long known he’s attracted to both genders, so he watches ping laugh and smile and the crease between his eyes when he frowns and does his best to let his feelings chase away the best soldier he has. every time shang looks at ping his heart clenches and he things to himself: i wish i could have you, i wish this was a time and a place where one man could have another, i wish you were a girl, is wish i was a girl - i wish we could be together. he’s literally a step away from doodling ‘li ping’ with little hearts over his battle plans. 

so the battles happen. shang and ping lead their men together, respected and loved. they each get promoted, and promoted, and promoted. it’s been years, and it comes to a point where they’re both generals in their own right. they trust each other, care for each other. and are both secretly in love with the other.

mulan is so conflicted. because she wants this war to end and to go home and settle back into life and become ping’s wife, so she can have an easy life spent studying and learning with her family taken care of. that’s what she’d wanted. but now what she wants is shang, her best friend, her brother in arms, her fellow general. she wishes to be everything to him, aches to be the woman on his arm and in his bed, but knows it’s the one thing she can never be.

then that final battle happens. mulan’s quick thinking saves them all and ends the war - but she’s injured.

shang finds out the ping has been a girl all along. he demands explanations - so she tells him everything, that she traded places with ping to save him, to become his wife.

and the lies should sting the sharpest, but they don’t. she’s still the same person, after all. it’s that she’s promised to another man, for one second he’d thought he might have her, but no. so he agrees not to reveal her but he’s furious and furious at himself for being furious and they’re not the same now, broken and splintered and neither of them know what to do.

the war is over. they leave. mulan returns home, and thanks to her ping is now known as a respected general. she’s done her part and survived, and now she gets her reward - ping’s hand in marriage.

but she sees ping for the first time and flings herself into his arms and starts crying. she tells him everything, because he’s still her friend, her very best friend besides shang, the man whom she lied to and betrayed and loves. and ping listens and takes her by the shoulders and says - i’ll uphold our bargain, if that’s what you want. you can be my pampered wife, you’ve more than earned it. but if you want to go to shang, i won’t blame you. you deserve your happiness.

and mulan goes back and forth, but ultimately she decides she has to try. if shang rejects her she’ll return and marry ping and uphold her family honor. but if shang wants her - he’s not as high up as ping, but he’s high up enough to satisfy her family, and also she would love him and want him if he was no more than a farming peasant so it doesn’t matter much anyway.

she rides to the capitol. she finally meets ping’s father, running into him while looking for shang. “ah mulan,” says this man who was never supposed to know of her until she became his daughter-in-law, “i didn’t expect to see you here. how fortuitous. walk with me.” she does, wary, and that’s how she discovers - he and the emperor had discovered her deception a year in, but at that point she’d already proven herself too skilled and valuable to lose. he tells her that he will uphold his son and wife’s deal and gladly welcome her to his household - but that she’s earned her rank as general, and that he and the emperor have no problem with letting her keep it.

she says thank you, shocked and joyful, but that she has to talk to someone first. “ah, yes, young general li,” he says, eyes twinkling, “i do believe he’s around here somewhere.”

she has no idea how he seems to know everything, but she finally tracks down shang who’s ecstatic to see her and hates himself for it. she confesses - says she loves him, that she’s engaged to ping but willing and able to break this engagement for shang. who is dumbfounded and elated and says yes, of course, finally and forever.

and mulan accepts her rank and marries shang, and they become the literal power battle couple of the general li mulan and general li shang. ping becomes a scholar and marries a very nice young woman who loves reading and is happy to read aloud to her husband with his failing eyes.

and they all live happily ever after.

8

make me choose ♡ jem carstairs/tessa gray or kit herondale/tiberius blackthorn

He looked anxious, the shadows under his eyes more pronounced. Kit wanted to go across the table and put his arms around Ty the way he had the night before, on the roof. He felt intensely protective of the other boy, in a way that was strange and unnerving. He’d cared about people before, mostly his father, but he’d never wanted to protect them. He wanted to kill anyone who would try to hurt Ty. It was a very peculiar feeling.

(for @remusparker )

want one?

People think im crazy when I smile after they back stab me, they don’t realize that they’re just adding to my collection and reminding me why to never trust anyone fully.
—  Shade