It has one normal ear and one mushroom ear. It smiles and has unusual eyes. It’s made of fungus, gelatin, and potato purée. It has no nose, and it jumps. Its normal ear hears normal things. Its mushroom ear hears mushroom things. It lives in the forest. It has three friends and two enemies. It can’t decide where to go for dinner. It took a bath once and drowned. It has no feet. It has no hands. It has no arms, and it has no legs. It rolls very fast and bounces very high. It launches into space sometimes and suffocates. It loves hugs, but it can’t reciprocate. It has no internal organs.
That is all that is currently known about the mushroom jelly.
Hello,” Sherlock slurs up to him with the most agonizingly exquisite smile, his voice lazy and beautifully thick as he miraculously achieves what the doctor has asked, “You were correct, John, Christmas has come early. It’s perfect—no. It’s not merely perfect, it’s abhorrently brilliant. I have a part of you. Couldn’t have asked for anything better. Best one yet. I love this holiday.”
“You,” John says with a dismaying twist of his own lips as he carefully brushes his fingertips against the inside of Sherlock’s white wrist, as he almost had done so many times before, “are higher than bloody a kite right now.”
“You love me.”
“Right, yes, I wouldn’t really—I just. You remember, brilliant. Good deduction, that. Saves us a bit of an awkward conversation later, I suppose.”
“You love me and I have an internal organ of yours.” Sherlock says up to him as if it’s the most ground breaking deduction of his life, his eyes practically ablaze with very heavy pain killers, “It’s Christmas. It’s thirty four Christmases worth of gifts. I asked for a kidney, and I received your own. Oh, Father Christmas, you are brilliant, I never doubted your abilities, really, it was all just an act.
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Kiritsugu’s assistant. Also his lover, in a certain sense of the word.
growing up utterly deprived of humanity, Maiya lacks a strong sense of self,
and has given her entire being to Emiya Kiritsugu. Asking her if she loves him
would be the same as asking the internal organs if they love the brain – completely
regardless of what others might say, for Kiritsugu sacrificing his wife to complete
the Holy Grail was a betrayal of their love. However, it was a betrayal which he
absolutely must not hesitate to perform. His sexual relationship with Maiya,
then, was simply a rehearsal for this betrayal – a form of masochism to calm
already pretty much the worst reason for having an affair, but the fact that
Maiya valued it makes it an endless vicious cycle. Shirou, whatever you do,
never ask your old man for advice on women…
her skill at sorcery is only a little better than Kara no Kyoukai’s Azaka, she is
a professional assassin capable of using any tool to kill no matter how crude
it may be. So in that sense, she is a user of “deadly sorcery”.
If push came
to shove, she would be able to kill somebody with nothing more than a simple wooden
skewer from a yakitori restaurant.
way, this is just a digression but Maiya has an absolutely devastating sweet
tooth. There’s actually an urban legend passed around among store clerks about
a mysterious woman who would always show up at cake buffets all alone and start
gulping down desserts one after the other with a sour look on her face. Of
course, Maiya herself would die of shame if anybody ever found out about this.