love and guilt and the meaning of life etc

A message for white people who love Black people:

Having a Black friend, partner, sibling, parent, child, neighbor etc does not make you automatically exempt from anti-Blackness. If you love the Black folks in your life you should not shrink away from difficult conversations on race and inequity. You should not bury the Black people you love in apologies that mean very little (research “white tears,”) you should not attempt to appease your own white guilt by saying things like, “it’s not my fault for what happened in the past,” you should not attempt to wear Blackness as a garment (Using Black vernacular: “Ratchet” “Hey girrl” and asking “Why can’t I say the n-word too?”) that you get to take off whenever you have a job interview or dinner with your white friends/parents/coworkers and you should not expect your Black loved one to educate you on demand. You should be intentional about making space for dialogue around race and inequity that does not silence or harm the Black person in your life that you love, and you should listen when they tell you that you won’t ever understand what it means to be Black in America. Too often white folks who love Black folks get caught forgetting (or never understanding) that there is a power and privilege dynamic that exists in these relationships that is also further complicated by gender, sexuality, ability, age, and socioeconomic status among other things. If you really love the Black people in your life sometimes you have to be the one to start the conversation, we have been taught to remain quiet on issues of race and inequity by the white supremacist heteropatriarchal system that we live in for fear of repercussions, just like you have.

anonymous asked:

Hey *waves* hope you're having a good day. Do you think Dean loves Sam more than Sam loves Dean? Or do you think they just love each other in a different way, like Sam has proven he could live without his big brother.

I read a meta recently about how Sam behaves like a first child (the product of parents praising everything they do etc. etc.) and Dean behaves like a second child (the product of parents being slightly less gung-ho because they’ve seen it all before), and how that’s the case because Dean was raised by John (who, let’s be honest, was a shite parent), but Sam was raised by Dean – and I think that’s the thing you always have to remember when talking about how much Sam and Dean love each other and who loves the other the most.

Sam loves Dean like a brother, but Dean loves Sam like a brother, like parent loves a child, and in the “look out for Sammy”/Sam is the most important thing/Sam is your responsibility don’t ever let anything happen to him way that John instilled in him. it’s a triple whammy of love, responsibility and guilt. it doesn’t necessarily mean Dean loves Sam MORE than Sam loves him, it just seems that way because it’s so well and truly fucked up. 

Sam being able to live without his big brother is NORMAL. like, that is FINE AND OKAY. I think we all forget that two brothers in their 30s living in each other’s pockets and LITERALLY DYING FOR EACH OTHER 24/7 and not being able to live without the other etc. etc. is REALLY KINDA WEIRD.