some day, you are going meet some boy who will fix your heart, just like one fine day your ex lover broke it. you won’t see it coming but that day it wont hurt anymore to look at couples holding hands in supermarkets, it wont hurt anymore to see boys purchasing red roses and it wont hurt when somebody whispers i love you to the girl eating pasta in your favourite cafe on the next table. i know your tumblr is filled with quotes about boys who didn’t text you back but this one is for the ones who did, who called you when you were sick and held you when you had a panic attack and let you sleep on them. this one is for the boys who made you realise love is more than flowers and holding hands and sex. this one is for the boys who fix heartbroken girls. this one is for you, my love.
1. Losing people hurts. Friends, lovers, soul mates. You will cry into your pillow and lose sleep, and your eyes will hurt more than ever. Don’t let it affect you so much, you will be okay. Your heart is learning to love and forgive and so is your brain.
2. Eat that pasta you want but don’t just sit back and eat three more plates. If you want that ice cream bar eat it but don’t go crazy on sweets. You deserve a healthy body along with your mind and spirit but you don’t need to keep yourself away from the things you love.
3. Take a shower. Wash your body with hot water and wash your hair with cold. Make your bed and spray lemon scent perfume on your pillows that you stole out of your mom’s bathroom. It’ll help you breathe and sleep better, you’ll have better dreams too.
4. Don’t rely on other people as your happiness. If they make you happy that’s great but what about when they leave? Have your hobbies as your happiness, or even yourself. Be a whole person on your own.
5. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Do you know how many things you have survived and gotten through? You are a brave person and you shouldn’t be so rough and hurtful. You are a piece of art.
6. Don’t focus too much on outer beauty. Those stretch marks don’t make you ugly, neither do your bruises and marks. It shows you’ve been through life and have experienced many things that tied themselves to your body to tag along in life with you.
7. Don’t just wait around for something to happen. Go out there and make it happen and face scary things you would have ran from in the past.
8. Most importantly dance and love and
live and thrive. There is beauty within the ugly and the light will always outshine the dark. You only get one shot at this life, how do you want to spend it?
shame. shame is powerful. as an affective neuroscience researcher, i have studied it intensely. unlike many emotions, we are not born with it. shame is taught.
i have felt shame over and over in my life. almost all of it has been shame about who i am - a nerd, an athlete, someone who loves reading books more than going to parties, a teacher, a mental health advocate. and it’s time for me to be honest.
my eating disorder taught me to be ashamed over food. it taught me that there is shame in eating the foods i love - bread, cupcakes, pasta, peanut butter. it taught me there is shame in eating as much as i want - where a bagel is not a meal, but a snack for me. that i often eat more than 6 times a day. that i love processed foods just as much as any other food, that even though i’m a runner, i don’t want to be constantly focused on what is nutrient-dense and what isn’t. that i love appetizers and eating the whole meal after, that an english muffin with jam would never hold me over in a million years.
this shame has kept me trapped. it has kept me from honoring my body, from fully recovering, from honoring myself. and i’m done. i am so done. i don’t want to be ashamed anymore. it’s time for me to embrace not just food freedom, but total freedom in being myself. and i’ll probably gain weight. i might gain a lot of weight. i might gain only a little. but i’m losing the shame.
so here’s to food, all food, to my body, to myself, and expect me to be posting a lot more pictures with all sorts of food because it’s time for me to be proud.
I know that this dish is not really seasonally appropriate and it probably would be even more amazing if eaten in the summer when tomatoes and basil are so fresh off the farm but nonetheless, it was a nice reprieve from the heavy stews, chilis and pumpkin flavored everything I’ve been eating since September! Brie with pasta seems like SUCH an obvious pairing and I can’t believe I’ve gone this long without combining the two. Recipe inspiration comes from one of my favorite blogs - Food52 but has been tweaked a bit by me!
Prep Time: 5 Minutes (plus 2-8 hours of macerating)
Cook Time: 10 Minutes
Total Time: 15 Minutes (plus 2-8 hours of macerating)
½ a wheel of Brie (approximately 6 inches in diameter)
1 pint grape tomatoes, quartered
3-4 gloves of garlic, minced
½ cup loosely packed basil leaves
¼ cup olive oil
1 lb Rotini veggie pasta (I use Ronzoni Garden Delight!)
Set Brie in the freezer so its easier to cut later. It only needs about 20 minutes or so.
In a large bowl, add grape tomatoes and garlic. Chiffonade the basil leaves and add as well as the olive oil and salt to taste. Once the brie is hard, cut into small cubes and add to the bowl. Gently fold the brie in to the tomato mixture. Cover the bowl and put in the refrigerator for a minimum of 2 hours, maximum of 8.
Once the tomato/brie mixture is ready, cook your pasta according to the instructions on the box. Strain the pasta and add in the tomato/brie mix. Gently mix until the brie starts to melt. Plate, season with a dash more salt and pepper and enjoy!
Pairing: MingyuxReader Genere: Smut/Fluff Summary: You and Mingyu have been dating for a while. He has been very patient, and on your 6 month anniversary you decide to give your all to him. ;))
Kim Mingyu. Everything about him is so perfect… The way he smiles, his laugh, his heart, everything. After being his friend for years, you realized that he is the man you want to be with for the rest of your life, and you knew that for a fact. He loves you with everything his heart has, and you love him right back. He cares for you, makes sure you are safe, and always knows how to make you happy.
“What are you staring at love?” He said from the kitchen, digging in the fridge for some milk. He was everything that you had ever wanted in a partner. He was kind, he was affectionate, he genuinely cared about you. He was unlike anyone else you had ever been with, and you were forever grateful that you ended up with him.
“My sexy chef.” You said, admiring his backside as he reached deeper into the messy fridge. The air began to smell of creamy Italian food and vegetables as Mingyu’s recipe began to heat up on the stovetop.
“Were you thinking naughty things, ____?” He said jokingly, turning his head to raise a suspicious eyebrow at you.
“No, I was just thinking about how much I love you.” You stated, getting up from your spot at the couch to go hug him. He stood up straight and wrapped his arms around you.
“I love you, Jagi.” He said, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“I love you too, Mingyu.” You said, loosing yourself in his embrace. He finally unwrapped his arms from your body, he flashed you a cheeky smile and continued making dinner.
“Alright, dinner is served!” Mingyu said, setting your plate down in front of you. He had prepared Fettuccini Alfredo with a side of steamed carrots and broccoli.
“Mingyu this looks amazing…” You said. Not only was your mouth watering at the sight of the food that was in front of you, but Mingyu had decided to get dressed up for this special occasion. He had a form-fitting white button up dress shirt on that was tucked into black slacks that were tight in all the right places. His hair was gelled back and god did it look so good.
“____, you are staring again. Is something wrong?” He said, setting down his fork.
“Ah, no….sorry…” You said, cheeks turning red.
“You are so weird, I love you.” He said with a chuckle. He continued eating his pasta, and in that moment you made a decision: you wanted to love him with every part of you. You wanted him to be your first and your last. You wanted to light the flame of passion and burn it all through the night, you wanted nothing else but to hear the erotic sounds of skin slapping, low grunts and loud moans through the night, you wanted to make him feel good, you wanted him to make you feel good. All you needed was to get him on board, and you knew exactly how to do that.
“Mmh, this pasta is so good…” You said, slurping up a noodle while making eye contact with Mingyu. The white sauce gathered around your lips, and Mingyu choked a little. You then took the longest piece of carrot on your plate and stuck the whole thing in your mouth.
“Ah, is it hot in here? I think it’s hot in here. Let me open a window.” Mingyu nervously said, unbuttoning the top two buttons on his shirt while walking across the room to crack the window. He rushed back to his seat and sat down, a bead of sweat dripping down his face.
“Babe are you feeling well? Your face is so red and you are sweating!” You said, getting up from your seat.
“No no, I’m fine. Really! Sit down and eat your dinner.” He insisted, but you continued walking over to his side of the table. You bent down to be level with his sitting position, giving him a good look at your cleavage.
“Let me take that plate for you.” You stated seductively, grabbing his unfinished plate of food.
“Yah I was still eating….” He said as you walked over to the counter to set the plate down. You strolled back towards him and assumed your previous position. You leaned in close to him, the scent of his cologne making your mouth water.
“But what if I want you to eat something else.” You whispered in his ear as you dragged your finger down his toned clothed chest.
“Are you sure?” he said, his voice deep and raspy. You pulled him into a passionate kiss to cement your answer. His hands went to your hips, pulling you into his lap. You ran your fingers through his hair, making it a sexy mess. His hands explored you like your body was new unknown land, and you ground into his hips with lust. You began unbuttoning his shirt, you could feel his hard-on pressing against your thigh. Mingyu began leaving trails of kisses down your neck, his lips were so soft.
“Mmh…Mingyu….Should we–ah– take this into the bedroom?” You stuttered. He unlatched his lips from your neck and picked you up bridal style. Once he got into your guy’s bedroom, he tossed you on the bed and kicked the door shut.
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.” He growled as he crawled on top of you. Once again, you two were tangled in a passionate kiss. He threw off his shirt and proceeded to rip yours off. His mouth ravished the newly exposed skin, making sure to kiss every bit of it. You frantically unbuttoned his pants, you needed him now.
“Someone’s eager,” Mingyu said, “But I want you to wait for that. I know this is your first time so I want to make it special for you.” He said, trailing a hand down your side. His fingers hooked your jeans, tugging them down a little. You got the hint and exposed of your pants and underwear, excited to see what he had in store for you.
“Lay down,” He instructed. You followed his directions and fell back on the bed. You felt his large hands grip your thighs and pull them apart, revealing your womanhood. You blushed and tried to close them, but his grip was too strong. His head disappeared between your legs, and a shock of pleasure jolted through your body as you felt what his mouth was doing. Erotic noises emerged from your core as he worked his magic. You let out a loud moan as encouragement for Mingyu to keep going, but he abruptly lifted his head from between your legs.
“Babbbbeee” You whined in protest. He ignored you and reached over to the nightstand. He pulled out the drawer and grabbed a condom, glancing over at you. He discarded his pants and underwear, revealing his large throbbing member. He opened the condom and rolled it onto his length, making subtle eye contact with you as he did so.
“Are you ready babe?” He said once the condom was on properly.
“Yeah, but I don’t think it is going to fit….” You said, staring down at his cock.
“It will, trust me.” He said with a wink. He got down in a laying position and you straddled him. There was no way that Mingyu would be able to make love with you in missionary position….he was just too damn tall. So instead, you two opted for you on top. You rubbed his length in between your folds, you didn’t know it was possible to get any wetter than you had been, but it happened. At last, you positioned his tip at your entrance and slowly sunk down. Mingyu let out a long pent-up sigh and you took in a sharp breath of air. You had never had anything this big inside of you, and to be honest it kind of hurt. With some pain you finally reached the base of his cock, you needed to take a breather and adjust to his size. You collapsed on top of him, waiting for the stinging pain to vanish.
“Don’t worry babe, just give it a little longer and all of the pain will be gone.” He said, wrapping his arms around you as a tear escaped your eye. It hurt like hell right now but you knew that in 5 minutes you would be on cloud 9 and every bit of suffering would have been worth it.
A few moments had passed, but you were ready to move now. You regained your composure and slowly lifted yourself off of his dick. Mingyu closed his eyes and let out a small groan of pleasure. Your hand went to your clit, you needed everything to help subside the little amount of pain that was lingering around your core.
You sped up your pace. His hands were at your hips, his hips were thrusting up to meet yours, Sweat formed on both of your bodies, covering you in the scent of lust. The air smelled of sex, and the noises that were emitting from the sexual activities were absolutely sinful.
“M-Mingyu…I’m–” You shouted as you came. It was like a wave of pleasure and confusion suddenly crashed into you, you felt so peaceful, so tranquil, so utterly happy. Your body felt like a feather floating with the breeze, so light and elegant. Your mind was blank with happiness, your cheeks were rosy, eyes full of joy. Small beads of sweat formed on your skin with the new feeling, and not long after you, Mingyu came in in the condom. The sounds that came from his mouth were beautiful, all the deep grunts of pleasure, the shaky breaths, the pleased hums. All of it. You loved all of it. You loved him, you loved every single part of him, and nothing in this world could change that.
You hopped off of him and let him dispose of the filthy condom. As he walked into the bathroom, you snuggled into your sheets and slowly began to feel the weight of slumber pulling at your eyelids. Mingyu got into bed next to you, pulling you close.
“Happy 6 months, ___. I couldn’t ask for a better gift. I love you so much.” He said, pecking your forehead, strong arms once again wrapped around your frame.
“I love you too.” You said in almost a whisper, drifting off into a deep, blissful sleep.