louis bernstein

Which American Composer should you fight?

John Philip Sousa: Will you win? Probably not. He was in the marines, so he’ll probably kick your ass. But do it. Punch John Philip Sousa in the face. For all of us. I will pay you to fight Sousa.

George Gershwin: You could probably win this fight, but what will it accomplish? Nothing. He’ll just cry and you’ll hate yourself for making him cry.

Leonard Bernstein: Are you kidding? Have you ever watched Lenny conduct? Have you seen his music and time signature changes? He’ll kick your ass.

Aaron Copland: DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT FIGHT AARON COPLAND. HE IS SIX FEET OF PURE, CONCENTRATED ANGER. AARON COPLAND WILL DESTROY YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE.

John Cage: Fight John Cage. Just do it. You know you want to after that 4'33 bullshit. Use your rage to fuel you and you will win. Just remember: people buy sheet music for 4'33.

John Williams: Don’t fight John Williams. He will crush you with his massive amounts of money. You will die, suffocating under the checks for Hedwig’s Theme and The Imperial March.

Louis Moreau Gottschalk: You will definitely win this fight. No one really knows who he is, but fight him. There is no chance you will lose

Eric Whitacre: ABORT MISSION. I’m like 80% convinced that Eric Whitacre is some sort of God incarnate and you don’t want to incur his wrath.

Charles Ives: Do not fight Charles Ives. He is a precious cinnamon roll, too good for this world. Too pure. Just let him continue writing his weird music. He hurts no one.

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ITS NOT ABOUT JUST HARRY AND LARRY
ITS ABOUT EQUALITY SO PLEASE SIT DOWN BECAUSE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR SHIP WETHER ITS REAL OR NOT
HARRY SUPPORTS IT MEANS HES GAY? DOES THIS MEAN EVERY OTHER CELEBRITY WHO POSTED IT IS GAY/LESBIAN? GUESS WHAT I POSTED IT TOO BECAUSE I SUPPORT IT NOT BECAUSE IM A LESBIAN. SIT DOWN !
and i used caps because im irritated af