lotuslexemes

lotuslexemes said: I’m Zaira,18. I am now in college taking up my premed. I am an introvert but makes exceptuon when it comes to my friends. Haha. I have my crazy sides too. Hello! I hope you’re good. God bless you. Have a good day (or night?) Hehe.

Hi Zaira! I love your name (I also love the letter ‘z’, it is tragically underused, but not so much spellings like KIDZ and stuff to make it “fun”, but honest to goodness uses of the letter ‘z’, like in white zinfandel…). I’m introverted too, and I am much the same way. What do you plan to focus on in when you get to medical school (if you’ve decided)? Are there any other fields you’re interested in? And thank you, I hope you’re good too!

Thanks for responding :)

Backup

This is not your part. Definitely not. You’re not here to stay. But don’t forget your lines. Say it anyway. Say, “I love you. I can’t live without you in my life. I want to make you my wife. Marry me.”

Okay, you played the part well! But still, you’re not the one. You will surely be replaced when the real star comes. 

Of course my part doesn’t change. It’s permanent. I will promise to love you forever. I will say my heart is yours. That with you my life feels better. But these words aren’t meant for you. They’re meant for someone else. I’m just practicing my lines. I’m so good at it now.  I’ve been reciting and rehearsing it a long time.

You’re just another stand in, in a long line of men. The auditions have not finished. That they will, who knows when? But your role here is done. So, call in the next one.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
—  Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones