lotsw

I Bet He's Gay (Shoujo Fanfiction) by Caspy

Intro: A relationship with benefits.
________ 

Dear mother, today I got confessed by a gay guy. I don’t know why. He told me to meet up at the roof-top and for some reason, it was way windier than the weather channel said it would be. This guy was really metro sexual. He had silky hair with a scent of lemons and pineapples. His finger nails were done so well that they glistened and they were perfectly cut. And I mean PEERFECTT. Like you had to sit there for 2 hours in order to make them look perfect like he did. And he had a really girly face and a nice physique. I swear his legs look better than mine, too. And for that, I am COMPLETELY in remorse. Oh, and this is what happened:

(Gay) Guy: PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!

He bowed down. Without looking at me. Why. Bruce Lee had always taught me that you must always look at your opponent in the eyes EVEN when you’re bowing.

(Gay) Guy: I REALLY LIKE YOU! I HAVE ALWAYS ADMIRED YOU FROM FAR AWAY!

I…I. What.

(Gay) Guy: And of course, you can’t say no because I’m just so beautiful~!! -flips hair-

This guy was completely full of himself. But as I ponder about it, he seemed to be pretty desperate. Maybe I should take this opportunity.

Girl: Only if you pay me to say yes.

(Gay) Guy: WHAT? WHY? Don’t you understand I’m the most popular guy in school? I’m good at sports, I have like the best grades in the class, I’m basically fucking perfect and awesome at everything I do. There’s always roses and sparkles and other (gay) stuff around me~ Not to mention I am just damn sex—-

Girl: Shut up and pay up or I’m going.

Seriously. What’s wrong with this dude? Here he is “confessing” to me but he ends up talking about how much he loves himself.

(Gay) Guy: I will pay you with my bod—

I walked away.

(Gay) Guy: WAIT! FINE! HOW MUCH!

Girl: Just buy me lunch everyday would be fine. Plus 5 bucks for the drink. And you must do three things I ask you to do everyday.

(Gay) Guy: What the hell? You spend 5 bucks on a drink? And why do I have to obey you? I AM THE MAN IN THE RELATIONSHI—

Girl: I’m going to leave now if you’re just gonna complain.

(Gay) Guy: FINE!

He really is desperate. Wow. I didn’t expect him to agree.

Girl: Why me, by the way? 

(Gay) Guy: Because you’re the only girl who hasn’t fallen in love with me. Haven’t you seen those girls who take constant pictures of me, stalk me to my home, steal my stuff so they could cuddle it at night, and all those other creepy stuff?

Girl: I only saw the first part of what you said.

(Gay) Guy: EXACTLY. Because you don’t stalk me. Anyways, women are a pain. 

Girl: I thought you said you admired me.

(Gay) Guy: I admire that you’re not in love with me. But to not be in love with me… Could it be… that you'r—– Wait. Where’d she go?

I got tired of listening to him.

And thus, that was the start of my new relationship. With benefits.

_________________________________________________________

Chapter 1: Let’s test your heterosexuality.

My name is Mong and I’m a junior in high school. Somehow, though, I got caught up in a relationship with a guy who I think might be gay. And apparently, I’m supposed to walk with him to school.

(Gay) Guy: Heeeeyyyy seexxxy. Don’t you think today’s such a sexy day? Especially when two sexy people like us are walking together.

This idiot here is named Kenta. He’s a complete narcissist and we just happened to be going out.

Mong: You’re embarrassing. Now shut up and hold my hand. You want us to look like a couple, right?

Kenta: H-h-holding hands? So bold of you… That’s what I like about you bab–

Mong: First order. Do not talk in such an idiotic way. You’re embarrassing. And you will refer to me as “ma'am” and treat me with the up-most respect as you would to a woman in a high position.

Kenta: You ask for too much.

Mong: If you don’t, I’ll break up with you.

Kenta: Yes, ma'am. I am very honored to hold hands with you.

And so we did. While we were walking to school, I noticed some girls started whispering to each other.

Girl 1: NOOO!!! KENTA-SAMA FOUND A GIRLFRIEND? WHYY!!!! WHAT A BITCH.

Girl 2: Kenta-sama is supposed to be everyone’s!!! Now this bitch is gonna think she’s all that… Just because she’s a little pretty… UGH!!! WHY KENTA-SAMA? WHY DID YOU LET SOMEONE STEAL YOUR HEART!!! /bitchsobmorebitchsobbing

That was basically all I heard and payed attention to. It seemed too stupid for me to even care.

When we got to class everyone was staring at us. For some reason, even the guys looked depressed. What? Kenta even attracted guys? He probably didn’t go out with any of the dudes because knowing his egotistical self, he doesn’t think any of them is good enough for him. Or maybe he’s afraid that homosexuality will effect his popularity. A closet homosexual who cares too must about his status? Seems likely. Anyways, while I was thinking all of this, I wasn’t paying attention to class and the teacher banged my table with a ruler.

Teacher: I’m sorry that my class is so boring.

He gave an annoyed look and his tone was incredibly sarcastic.

Mong: I’m on my period.

And with that, he shut up and continued on with the class. I always knew he was uncomfortable when it came to the talk of “women’s special problems.” Everyone gave an awkward stare at me but eh. It was worth it.

It was finally lunch time and I sat alone while waiting for Kenta to bring me my lunch. Suddenly, these girls came up to me.

Girl 3: You think that you’re so great, huh? What does Kenta even like about you? I mean sure you’re a little pretty but that’s like the ONLY thing you have. You don’t even have proper etiquette.

Girl 4: You fucking piss me off. You know that? Stupid slut. Kenta’s sooo muuch better than you. He’s amazing at sports, first in class, and he’s so daamn hot. And look at you. You dare ask him out?

Girl 3: What’s your secret, huh? Blackmail? I bet it’s blackmail. You’re horrible. Stupid wh—

Girl 5: HEEEY. YOU LITTLE FUCKTARDS. GTFO. 

And they scrammed off immediately. 

Girl 5: What a bunch of cowards. Why didn’t you say anything to them?

Mong: I found it kinda amusing. Haha.

This girl here is named Doubie. She’s my best friend and also placed third in class. She never studies, though and somehow she’s able to make it third. If she actually tried then Kenta would probably lose his position. But she’s increeedibbllly lazy, so I don’t see that happening anytime soon. The girls are afraid of her because there’s always rumors of her beating up and punishing gangs one-handedly. They’re not true, though. In fact, it’s a secret that she spread those herself. People believe it though because she used to be a black belt in karate. 

Doubie: Well, I’m not always gonna be there to shut them up. Anyways, I never knew you liked Kenta. So cliche’ of you. -disappointmentface-

Mong: Yah… Things happen…

Kenta: Ma'am, I am back with your food. Sorry to keep you waiting.

He entered with a very prince-like aura and gave off a smile full of sparkles and flowers. All the girls started squealing when they looked at him and then they went into hardcore depression when they came to a realization.

When I looked at the food, it was a salad, bread and butter, tater tots, and a side of fruits. How boring. The only thing I liked on the plate was the 5 bucks but I ate it all anyways, ‘cause it’s free.

Mong: Feed me.

Kenta: W-what?

Mong: I said feed me. That’s an order.

His hesitation only confirmed my suspicions of his homosexuality more.

Kenta: Alright, pretty lady. Say aahhh.

Mong: That’s stupid. Just put it in my mouth.

He shoved the salad into my mouth a bit too forcefully.

Mong: Ow! That hurt! What are you doing?

Kenta: O-OH! I’m sorry, ma'am. Forgive me!

I could hear the girls whispering even louder, so I decided to do something that would piss them off even more. I also wanted to test Kenta’s heterosexuality even more.

Mong: The only way to make me feel better is if you kiss me.

Kenta: W-what?!!!!

Mong: It’s an order.

Kenta: I-I….

Mong: Well? If you don’t, you know what will happen.

Kenta: Ugh. What the hell.

He suddenly pecked my right cheek and looked away. For some reason, he was incredibly red. Why was he blushing so hard? Is he that inexperienced? Or perhaps…(To be continued. Or this is the end 'cause I’m too lazy to continue writing. So it’s like… TO BE ENDED)

Terrible Story #12

Sooo excited! A present from my daughters arrived from across the pond! Big thank you to BBC for releasing the next two series of Last Of The Summer Wine! Where else can you find Captain Peacock, (Are You Being Served) Wallace, (Wallace & Gromit) & Mr. Ling (Goldfinger) making mischief in the hills of Yorkshire?! #lovethisshow #britishcomedylover #happymailday #lotsw @yarnphantom @bellissimadiva 😄👍💙💚💛💜💖📺📀

That time when fudou licked kidou's eyebrows-- by Mong because doubie asked

(I’m sorry, Inazuma, I keep defiling your lovely characters. Also, sorry, English Language, the stuff in this is pretty atrocious.)

THAT TIME WHEN FUDOU LICKED KIDOU’S EYEBROWS

When Kidou noticed Fudou staring at his eyebrows the first time, he did not make much of a note of it. Because, after all, it wasn’t like his goggles were very animated. They were like huge glassy lens that didn’t really do anything. In comparison, his eyebrows were much more lively and moved a lot with the tenacity of inchworms.

By the fifteenth time, Kidou was aware something was up. He knew his eyebrows were things of beauty– beauty only rivaled by the graceful curve of an eagle’s wing, but really, even the elegance of those two coffee-coloured arches did not warrant the lavish attention Fudou was slathering on it. Maybe he should stop doing that weekly eyebrow routine where he plucked his eyebrows. It would mean that that he would have to lose the perfectly calculated curve that he had slaved over for weeks and weeks, but the looks he was getting from Fudou were starting to become increasingly disconcertingly awkward because he kept looking at them like they were made of cotton candy or something or the like and Kidou believed that a sacrifice was in order.

After a few weeks, Kidou became very irritated because he realised that Fudou had not stopped staring. In fact, now he just stared at them all the time. And Kidou realised that despite his now crooked curvatures (which he thought would give him a very veyr rugged charm), he rather enjoyed the two emerald orbs with endless voids of depth latched onto him all the time. So he let his eyebrows grow like the free appendages they were, and enjoyed the deep green pits look into his eyebrows and soul every single day.

Then one day Coach Kudou told Kidou that he needed to pluck them again or something, because he was beginning to look like a caveman. Kidou was shocked and very very upset. ‘WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME’ he cried in melancholy, the sound laced with dread and despair. Then Fudou came in. And then Kidou began to feel his heart beating all doki doki, like a shoujo manga except much manlier and a thousand times more exciting, and then Fudou looked into his eyebrows and soul with his evergreen eyes and said with his beautiful tenor soaring across the stale air of the room, 'So i heard Coach wanted you to fix those eyebrows’.

Kidou nodded. Then Fudou closed in really really close to Kidou, so close he could see the strands of his hair in high definition like the 1080p option on Youtube, and extended his tongue out. Unfortunately for Fudou, his chin later sustained a huge goggle-shaped injury because he rmmed into them when he stuck his tongue out. By now Kidou was all blushy and stammery, eyes wide open and staring into those green eyes, green like the matrix or some hacking program and Kidou felt like he would be trapped in them forever (because he was not keanu reeves and because he didn’t know any coding) and then he felt this wet feeling on his eyebrows and felt shocked like a shocked thing.

'Hmm. Tastes floral,’ Fudou said and his voice sounded like a choir of male angels. Kidou was glad that even with the weeks of no-attention, his eyebrows still retained the floral scent of Clairol that he once applied on his brow every sunday at 5am.

And then at nighttime, fudou helped kidou shave those eyebrows and it took a long time (if you know what i mean). kidou did not know he was that sensitive (if you know what i mean). the residual pain of losing his eyebrows stayed for a long time and made them late to practise (i hope you know what that means, because i sure don’t).

Terrible Story #11

Captain sugarbomb and the hiv menace! (inspired by the gay story of Gumi by Doubie, kinda :-/ )

We’ll begin our story in a city called “gayden” it’s a city full of gay people!!

Captain sugarbomb,still on his long journey to fight evil, decided to take a small stop at the said city and perhaps rest for a night or two!

Upon arriving he noticed how the city was nearly empty!
‘What could this be?’ asked captain sugarbomb out loud flexing his muscles!
The deserted city was apparently taken over by Lord megaGay the 4th!
Lord Megagay the 4th had confined all citizens inside as his powers give people Aids!!!  (So they say).

Captain sugarbomb, still oblivious to all this drama, walked into the first café he spotted!
“A manly beer please!! WIth sugar!” is what he ordered!
The man behind the counter looked  at captain sugarbomb with shocked eyes!
“Is it YOU Captain sugarbomb?!”
“Derp Sherlock, who else could it be?!” asked captain sugarbomb pointing to the huge CS logo on his suit and on his cape!
“Come with me quickly!” whispered the bartender showing captain sugarbomb a backdoor.
“What is it you weirdo citizen?”
“You shouldn’t have come here!” said the bartender breathing quickly!
“Why not?”
“As you know everyone in this town is gay”
“Psh I’m not scared of gay people dude, That’s just being lameeee!!
As long as they don’t pressure me to become gay I don’t mind em” said captain sugarbomb showing his badge of the 'anti homophobes even though I’m not a gay myself’ organization.

“That’s not it!” sweated the bartender “Lord MegaGay took over the city and is giving everyone who won’t obey him aids!!”
“So basically everyone in the world gets aids except for his slaves?” summarized captain sugarbomb.
“Indeed!” said the bartender , relieved that captain sugarbomb understood.
“I’ll fight him! Where is his Hideout? D:<” announced captain sugarbomb with a loud voice while walking out of the café.

“It’s over there! ” said a obviously gay little kid who loved barbies,paris hilton and miley cyrus and  who hated soccer!
“Thank you little gay kid, here have a picture of justin bier!” said captain sugarbomb, giving the little kid the picture he received when justin bieber tried to seduce captain sugar bomb when he was invited to watch the Nickelodeon kid’s choice awards.


He flew off towards the castle!!
He kicked in the huge ass metal doors and yelled “Where are you Lord MEGAGAY SHOW YOURSELF YOU CREEP!!”
Lord megagay appeared chuckling while stroking a cat.
“What might bring YOU here in our gay little town captain sugarbomb?” asked the evil epitome of motherf'ing ugliness!
“I heard you’re making people your slaves and give everyone who won’t obey you aids” said captain sugarbomb.
“Ohohoho I see, so the news has reached your ears! Why won’t you sit down for a apple martini?” the lord was still stroking his cat with an evil grin on his face.
“LIKE HELL I DON’T WANT APPLE MARTINI JUST STOP IT!” yelled captain sugarbomb while flipping a table.
“Then GET AIDS!!” yelled Lord Megagay shooting a red beam from his hands.
captain sugarbomb dodged the beam.
“First of all you dumb hiv creep, you can’t give people AIDS!! ”
yelled captain sugarbomb “Hiv is not the same as aids you dumbass! And with the superpowers of these days we can heal Hiv or prevent it to go to a later stadium! Second of all it’s not contagious through anything but BLOOD so what you’re shooting at me isn’t a real beam it’s just your blood you masked by mixing it with a fluorescent fluid to make it seem like a beam! The truth is you’re the one slowly dying of aids!!”
Lord Megagay froze in his steps “you…”.
“You’re just a bitter old man! The weakness of your attacks lies in the fact you need to make sure my blood and yours mix up somehow! That’s why you’re aiming at the wounds I still have from my fight with the giant elevator!
The amount you can shoot is limited as well! All I need to do is dodge and then strike!”
laughed captain sugarbomb “I’m your worse enemy ! Unlike the others my powers of sugar can give me an endless supply of energy!! I’ll diabetes punch 2 you in the face and finish it all off by weakening your immune system more with a "Vitamin C reduction headbutt ! You’re done for! With your immune system as it is and the chemical structures of my sugar replacing those of the vitamin C that’s left in your body you’ll die of just a cold in a few minutes!”
Lord Megagay’s eyes glared at captain sugarbomb ’“that might be true… but I can always do THIS!!” Lord megagay cowardly took a run for it while pushing a red button.
And we all know red buttons are scary shit!!! (unless it’s the rec button 8D)

..

What will happen to captain sugarbomb?!

Will Lord Megagay the 4th still win the battle?!

What about the cat?!

Idek so don’t ask me =A= )/

And remember kids :-/ do it safe!

The captain sugar bomb “energy for the night” condoms come in all sizes and are all safe!

Sometimes these kind of measures might save your life from the evil clutches of Lord Megagay the 4th !!

-Terrible Story #9 ..AMAZING AND EDUCATIONAL STORY #9

How I managed to write Kidofudo (and the fic itself) by Mong

Once upon a time, there was an inept procrastinator called Mong. Mong lived in the land of I’m-Not-Really-Sure-Myself, and because of Mong’s ability to write convoluted prose, she joined this league of Horribly Bad Writers [who will one day triumph and sell millions of bestsellers everywhere].

(Some people may call the ability to write bad fiction– dare I say it– a vice, but we must always remain optimistic, especially in face of our flaws. Therefore, we shall refer to this predicament as an ability, or maybe even talent.)

Mong promised her comrades that she would write Kidou/Fudou Fanfiction. Unfortunately, she was encountered with a few small problems:

1. She had never written fanfiction before.
2. She was very fond of both characters, and it would be positively frightful to misrepresent characters you are fond of.
3. She had been irreversibly convinced by a certain person on Skype that Kidou’s dreadlocks smell, and now she felt like everything she was planning to write about them would return to that unfortunate statement.

But NO FEAR, MY FRIENDS, for Mong is so manly she has a goatee and two moustaches. And a person with goatee and two staches never ever lets down her comrades.

So here. (please don’t make fun of me, because then I’d use my ruler to drown myself in my sorrows as a struggling artist.)

-Terrible Story #8


Keep reading

y u so lie lesbian gumi by Doubie

okay so once a upon a time there was lesbian gumi. shes totally totally HOTTTT (i would know man) and shes the most popular person at school and every girl is in love with her but. like the messed up thing is that like people keep thinking shes a dude when she is totally isn’t and this is just GOING TO GET MESSED UP MAN AHHHH

it was valentines day and as usual lesbian gumi was getting all these chocolate from these girls who had this major cursh on her and as usual lesbian gumi was being like OH I DON’T NOTICE ANY OF YOU HOT GIRLS BECAUSE I AM COOL AND I’M TOO GOOD FOR YOU ALL but. like then today there class had a new transfer student omg!

the transfer students name was ashley yukikikikiki (shes japanese) and she had long flowing blonde yellow long hair (shes japanese) and sapphire orbs for eyes (shes still japanese) she was. the prettiest girl lesbian gumi has ever seen and this isnt because lesbian gumi has this soft spot for whitelooking japanese people who just happened to be ashley . ashley is a very original character!!! lesbian gumi fell in love with her because of her personality and her hobbies not because of her looks even though lesbian gumi hasnt talked to ashley at all nopeee

lesbian gumi and ashley hung out and soon they were dating because they are the perfect couple omgggg there cute (ashley thinkg lesbian gumis a guy you know)

soon they were very very intimate with each other and one day they were going to have sex for the first time because. like every story needs sex. but while the two were drunk off of there desire for each other (see look at this good writing!!1) ashley6 went to stick her hand in lesbian gumis lesbian pants when…

“what what is this gumii!!1!” said ashley . she was shocked as lightning

lesbian gumi had a guilty look on her face as she looked at her pants in shame

“i have to tell you this ashley… i am actually a girl 9and a lesbian)” said lesbian gumi

“omggggg why why!!! didnt you tell me i thught we had a meeningfull relayshinship why would you lie!!!” ashley had rivers coming out of her eyes . her face was red as a plump cherry

“im sorry ashley will you forgive me” asked lesbian gumi who grabbed ashleys hands and were pleeding

“i do love you lesbian gumi so of course i will forgive you!!” they had hot lesbian sex and made up and they were a happy couple again . the end

-Terrible Story #7

If Only a Wish Could Fly by Caspy

Last night, I heard my friend cry. I could do nothing. I stood there, blank, as if I was insignificant and useless. When she ran away, I took 1… no, 2… no, 4 steps forward. Then I stopped. I asked myself, “If I catch her, then what?” I knew nothing, I did nothing. I looked down, there were tears. Were those hers…? Or were they mine?

I couldn’t sleep. I looked to the side and I saw a balloon that I received a week ago. It said, “Happy Birthday.” I stared at it frustratingly and told myself, “It’s not my birthday.” I walked over and snatched it away. While it was in my grasp, I clutched it harder; so hard that my hand started to hurt.

My week had been the worst lately. Ironic, though. My birthday wish was to make everything less complicated. To have my life free of complications; it got more complicated. I wrote in the note, “Please grant me happiness.” I tied it to the balloon. However, the note, I realized, had terrible handwriting. I grabbed another piece of paper and wrote on it. Then I folded the paper and tied it to the balloon. The paper I used was too heavy, though. I grabbed another piece of paper and cut it. When I was about to write on it, I questioned myself, “Who’s the real one who’s suffering here?”

I shook my head and realized that a selfish wish won’t be granted. I wrote on the paper, “Please grant my friend happiness. I wish her to become stronger.” I tied it to the balloon and released it to the night sky. I wasn’t able to watch it fly, though. It had flied the other direction behind my house, so I wasn’t able to watch it. I could’ve gone to the back of my house and watch it fly away ‘till the very end, but I thought there was no need.

The next day, I saw my friend. She was smiling. Her father somehow miraculously survived his heart disease and he would be released from the hospital in a week. When I was about to run up to her to give her my congratulations, I tripped and fell. She didn’t notice me and walked away from me with her other friends.

My life started getting worse. My grades were falling at a quick speed. I didn’t know what was going on. I kept on getting into accidents and messing up. Eventually my other friends got sick of me, so they started neglecting me and walked away. Eventually, I was stuck in isolation. I didn’t know that in order to grant her happiness, I had to sacrifice the remaining happiness I had.

On a sunny and windless afternoon, I was at archery practice. It seemed that archery was the only thing I had left; I was still able to shoot well. I went outside the practice area to get some fresh air. Then I noticed there was an object stuck in a tree. It was a balloon that I had set free with the message. What a coincidence.

I clutched the bow I was holding hard. So hard, my hand started to hurt. Tears started dropping down my face. “If only I hadn’t made that wish.” I didn’t know what I was doing but my body started moving on its own. I went inside to grab an arrow and then back outside. I loaded my arrow, pulled back the string, aimed at the balloon, and released. It hit.

The next day, my friend had died. She was involved in a car accident. The police reported she had crashed into a tree. My face was emotionless. I didn’t know what kind of feeling I was supposed to be expressing. Regret for making that dumb wish in the first place? Sadness for the death of my friend? Anger at myself for shooting that balloon? The season of autumn came.

After the funeral, when everyone had left, I just stared at her grave stone. I stood there for so long that autumn leaves were already gathered around her grave stone. I knelt down making the leaves crackle with noise. I cried, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” over and over again.  I could’ve fought for my happiness and avoided her death. If only I wasn’t such an idiot. If only I wasn’t so weak. If only she hadn’t die. If only the balloon wouldn’t have been stuck in the tree. If only a wish could fly.

The wind was blowing so hard that it even blew my tears away. A note suddenly flied up to me. It was my wish… but there was an autumn leaf broken up enough to cover up just a few words. With the note covered up it said, “Please…happiness.” That just made me cry harder for the next 5 seconds. But then I stopped. It was embarrassing. She had asked me to be happy and instead I responded by crying like a madman.

My life started getting back on its track. I got a happy family, a good job, a big house, and everything an ordinary person would want. My life was smooth sailing after her funeral. I had died at the age of 77. The cause: a heart attack.

-Terrible Story #6

Sometimes, It's a Breath before a Lie by Caspy

Standing there, looking at the sky, I felt intoxicated by the environment. I was engulfed in the scent of the luxurious greenery, the spirits’ whispers, and the stream of life. Before I knew it, it was already night time and the stars twinkled in its superiority; mocking me. Sometimes I wish that I could be a star, too. Just ascending in the sky, giant and intimidating, yet beautiful and full of hope. Sometimes I wonder, does the dead see the same skies as we do?

I am the star, wishful and silent. Watching over everything and everyone. I gaze at those who can feel, who are flawed. Yet somehow, that just makes them even more beautiful. I want to be reborn. I want to vanish away; to pass away. Maybe then, I’ll be able to truly live. To be able to cherish. To be able to hold on.

I am a dead man. I have wandered every corner of this planet. The only thing that bounds me is my regret. I am scared. I have fear. What’s after this? Do I become nothing? I need to go back. I need to be alive. Where are my answers? I seek and seek, looking for these answers. I find none, none has the answer. They try to cast me away, to hurt me, to lock me up. That won’t help me find my answer. That won’t give me courage. I want to live.

If I take a deep breath, please give me 5 seconds. 5…4…3…2…1… I have a confession. I am not alive, I am not a star, nor am I a dead man. I was me. Now, I am nothin—-

-Terrible Story #5

I don't even know what to call this by Anba

Once upon a time a very nice and loving banana of justice existed. all the lovable cool awesome banana wanted was to listen to his.. HER idol at that moment in life OLIVIA LUFKIN. But WHAT HAPPENED?! 3 thugs appeared out of no where!!! A big muscleman with a ratface sun_tsuntsun appeared!! He started talking into a weird language D: The Banana was in a pinch as the three of them loomed over her!! The banana wasn’t very tall so it was a real threat!!! Pulling out the banana sword of justice the banana yelled “WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM? D:<” “Ahahaha” said one of the three monsters we stole singing princess Olivia Lufkin and kidnapped her !! you’ll never find her!! His beard and goatee hit the ground and his eyes were looking in any direction but the banana he was talking to. “It’s YOU korpikopan” the banana glared at the weirdo with his ineffective cloak D:< “We’ll never tell you we hid her in an iron construction somewhere in the capital of france!” said a small froglike guy himuuki “The eiffel tower?!” I asked “No man we hid her in the iron concert hall which we built under ground” said sun_tsuntsun the leader of the 3 Oh really?! So the banana used banana drill and went to save the singing princess! Poor Olivia was crying “I hate french people and their escargots and baguettes SUCK D:” she sobbed , “save me banana prince!!” she sobbed in utter dispair “ I SHALL ” D:< I exclaimed and used my sword to cut down the steel concerthall-like cage they hid her in! himuuki protested he was innocent! Totally under the threat of Anba’s amazing skills. Himuuki: “But why me? I didn’t do anything!” Anba cut all of them down and threw them into the pit of utter darkness together with the 2 pedos mystraven and dijidori in vain the leader tried to see it as an illusion sun_tsuntsun: “I’ve never seen someone whose the imagination can go so far.” But it was the bitter and hard reality! Anba beat them all three!! And won back the singing princess!! She got a kiss and autograph of her and a live concert!! The beautiful magnificent end?! What about the three thugs sun_tsuntsun , himuuki and korpikopan ??!! They decided to become good people after spending time with the pedo people!! Everyone had a happily ever after!!! The end <3

-Terrible Story #4

The Origins of the League of Terrible Story Writers by Doubie

Once upon a time, Doubie tried to sound awesome by telling a great story about some 10-year-old bitch who she wanted to slap. However, everyone on Twitter thought it was a pretty terrible story.

Oh, the irony.

“Hey! Maybe it’s my time to shine and not do as bad as my cousin,” thought Caspy, and then proceeded to tell his own story.

A story about a fan–not a fan, but you know, those mechanical fans?–trying to get it on with him didn’t exactly win any points. Well, it would’ve won some points with me because him and his fan getting it on would’ve been totally hot, but the majority disagrees.

Did I just say that? Anyway, while we told our stories on Twitter, Ciel was laughing at us, like a mean, made-me-cry-like-a-bitch person she is.

Why don’t you make your own damn story, huh? Huh?

In their anger, Magical Girl!Doubie and Homeboy!Caspy attempted to challenge Demon Troll!Ciel to a RAP BATTLEEEEEEEE, but DAMN she runs away fast.

A few days later, Anba, the devoted fan she was, thought of ideas for a new fan fiction she was writing on Ao no Exorcist. It was about the forbidden love between Tsundere McTsundere Rin and his brother, Glasses Fo'Sho. Both Doubie and Caspy disapproved.

“I’ll prove to you two! I’ll prove that I’m an amazing writer,” exclaimed Anba, with confidence in her voice.

She ran away.

Magical Girl!Doubie and Homeboy!Caspy knew that The Cowardly Lion!Anba would be a strong asset to their group.

A few days later, they finally cornered Anba, luring her out of the shadows by taking bananas as hostages. They called her to a RAP BATTLEEEEEEEEEEE, desperate to have another member in their two-member League of Terrible Story Writers.

Eventually, The Cowardly Lion!Anba gave in. She wrote a story I didn’t even bother remembering because it was so terrible. You are a strong asset to this group, Anba, believe it.

They killed the bananas anyway because they were drunk, making Anba cry like there was no tomorrow. Caspy was also drunk enough to make this Tumblr, which makes no sense whatsoever. Man, why am I even writing here, I’m so freaking dizzy.

-Terrible Story #3.

The Story of the Angry, Waiting Boy by Caspy

One day, a boy was standing outside at the library waiting for his mom to pick him up. He waits and waits and paces and paces. Waiting outside was not fun. So then he hates and hates then chases and chases. Chases “what” you may ask? The animals around him simply out of boredom. Still to this moment, the boy is waiting. The boy is very angry. You don’t want to mess with this boy, because he is MAD. Like a boss.

-Terrible Story #2.

An Amazing Story by Anba

It seemed like a normal day for all the people in lullaby city! But then sharp noises were heard!! The ground was shaking!!

It was….a gigantic talking elevator!! Oh noooo the people screamed in panic !where to hide!!pay no heed!!rang a voice for I am here !!

Captain sugarbomb nigella the 3th I’ll give that iron sucker diabetes and save the day!!!

So said the captain!! He flew off towards the iron elevator!the thing played hideous elevator music and was a general nuisance

You shall feel the sweet fist of justice for disturbing this city of grammatically incorrect mermaids you jackass!! Said captain

He. Gave the elevator diabetes went to eat a pizza and was never seen again !! His bro captain saltyleague soon took over the

And the rest of the sea and that’s why the sea water tastes salty!! The end

-Terrible Story #1