I want to be there for my bf because he's going through a hard time but we live too far apart and we're both busy so that it's hard to find time to be together. We text a lot but I wish I could do more for him.
I understand that it must be difficult knowing that you can’t do more but at least you are doing most can you can do at the moment to be there for him
Out of curiosity, how many people read what I’ve written on the notebook pages I upload? The art is always the focus of my posts, but I realise that sometimes there’s a lot of text on the fringes of the pictures.
Aries: very protective, can get jealous, lots of touching, seems shy but actually very aggressive, tries to wrestle you but ends up making out, jaw and neck kisses, wraps their arm around your waist all the time
Taurus: lots of giggling, loves tight hugs, holds your hand all the time, bakes cookies for you, cares about you a lot even if she doesn’t show it as much, wants attention, very quirky and fun to be with
Gemini: knows how to turn you on, likes to leave hickies, gives you annoyingly cute nicknames, rests their head on your shoulder, likes ruffling your hair, likes to take control, likes spooning
Cancer: seeks approval, good at making out, cares about you a lot, big hearted, likes just being in your presence, tries to seduce you but ends up giggling, wants to cuddle all the time
Leo: super flirty, wants to show you off, will talk with you all night, isn’t afraid to belt out songs in front of you, lots of pda, has a folder of photos of just you on their phone
Virgo: wants to push boundaries but is shy/inexperienced, wants to be protected, eyebrow raises, dances crazily to your favorite songs, best friend and lover, makes suggestive jokes to tease you
Libra: very charming, knows how to make your knees weak, tells you how hot you are everyday, likes corny romantic dates, makes you watch chick flicks, happy with a simplistic relationship
Scorpio: steals your clothes, breathes in your scent, seduces you easily, likes sitting on your lap, gets to know you deeply, has lots of inside jokes with you, traces all your curves and admires your entire body
Sagittarius: super chill, wants to try new things with you, likes to let you take control sometimes, loves being wrapped up in you, admires your butt a lot, likes watching sunsets with you
Capricorn: lots of witty banter, will challenge you to think, likes watching movies with you, will lie in bed with you all day, out of the blue acts of love, teaches you new things
Aquarius: innocent and carefree, will beat you in your favorite video game, makes dirty jokes, will just stare at your face in love, dresses up for you, tells others how much they love you,
Pisces: makes you little gifts, lip bites, sends you cheesy texts, lots of light kisses on the hand, cheek, forehead, tells you how awesome you are, tells you all her dreams and ambitions
Me when I'm focused:
I find something cool to read. There is the vague awareness of sunlight no longer shining through the window behind me, followed by the return of said light. Wait, shit, that means I've been reading all night. If I didn't keep snacks nearby, it's possible that I wouldn't have eaten.
Me when I'm unable to focus:
I find something cool to read. I cannot make it past the first two paragraphs. Wow, there sure is a lot of text of the page. My brain refuses to properly process it. There are the sounds of a conversation in another room, the ever-present hum of electronics, cats walking on the roof. My foot itches, and I have a song stuck in my head. ...Why am I poking myself in the face with a drinking straw? Where did I even get the straw?? Where did it come from???? I walk away, confused and realizing I'm hungry. I go to grab a can of beans, and come back with two coloring books, a pair of headphones and the overwhelming feeling that I forgot something. I put the items down on the couch and pace back and forth for no reason.
This is gonna be rambling and out of sorts but like. I want to put out my stance as a trans sga ace person and I’m sure there’s been plenty of people who have said this more eloquently than me but:
If you aren’t trans or sga you aren’t part of the LGBT community. Like, plain and simple as that.
I’m going to start by saying that when I was 14 I thought I was aroace and I came out to my mom and told her I probably wasnt ever going to want to have a relationship. She reacted bad. Like legit screaming fight and calling me a sinner bad. It was some of the most ridiculous bullshit I’d ever been exposed to. And it sucked and it hurt that she didn’t understand and even tho I’ve moved away from that identity, it still sucks to remember that moment. And this is serious shit that needs to be addressed, aroace people do have a lot of interpersonal stigma that needs to be talked about and remedied.
But see. That’s the key difference. Aroace issues are interpersonal, not societal. And the aroace community has very different goals from LGBT people as a result.
Aroace community initiatives are all about Visibility and Education. And those are noble goals, giving people access to this knowledge is great, but for LGBT people the kind of laser focus on Visibility isn’t great.
LGBT people are hypervisible. Trans women get mocked in media constantly, gay men and lesbians are stereotyped and demonized out the wazoo, everyone Knows we’re here. We don’t have a visibility issue.
We’re busy focusing on fighting the societal laws that literally restrict our freedoms. Because at the end of the day if you’re not an sga ace person, you’re not going to walk into an apartment complex with your spouse and be denied a home by a homophobic leasing agent. You’re not going to propose to the person you love and then have a baker refuse to make you a wedding cake because they believe you’re such an abomination that they think getting money from you is a sin. You’re not going to walk down the street holding your partner’s hand and have to fear for your life. You’re not going to tell your co-workers about your spouse and face social isolation, harassment, possibly being fired. You’re not going to be sent to conversion therapy specifically for your orientation and tortured until you’re too afraid to express your love anymore. You’re not going to be refused the right to donate blood.
If youre not a trans ace person, you’re not going to be stopped on your way to the bathroom and sexually harassed about your “real gender.” You’re not going to be denied work. You’re not going to be forced against your will to identify as a gender you are not.
There are no anti-ace laws. Theres no mandate to have sex or be in relationships. There are social pressures, YES, and I’m not denying that. And social pressures suck. But what you’re dealing with is fundamentally different from sga & trans experiences.
The thing about being ace is that it really is more of an interpersonal than professional disclosure. If someone irl asked me about my partners I’d have to talk about my boyfriends. I wouldn’t mention my level of sexual attraction or engagement because that’s not what was asked or what is socially appropriate to disclose. My boyfriends know I’m acespec because it’s relevant to our relationship, my boss would not.
Aromanticism is a mildly different story, because this is when you would reveal, “oh, I’m not in a relationship, I’m not really interested in them.” This could be met mostly with confusion, misunderstanding, disbelief, jokes, or “it’s a phase"s. Which all suck! They do and they’re issues that need to be addressed and dealt with, but once more they’re fundamentally different from the concerns sga people have to deal with when bringing their orientations into the professional realm.
Aro/ace people are perfectly valid, memeatic as that term has become. These are legitimate identities with definitely legitimate issues. But the facts are that the aroace community has vastly different priorities from the LGBT community and this is why they are fundamentally separate.
LGBT spaces and resources shouldn’t be expended in a direction that takes focus away from actual LGBT issues like the ones discussed above. Aroace people need to rally together and get their own resources in shape so they can create a more focused and targeted attempt to do what they want to accomplish. Because tugging at LGBT resources and insisting on including cishet aces, whose experiences are so fundamentally different from trans sga folks’, in LGBT spaces is detrimental to all of us in the long run.
And all the sitting around flinging insults at LGBT people and comparing them to bigots or their oppressors and being disgusted by LGBT people empowering themselves through displays of affection that they’re demonized for in every other circle just kinda proves the rift that exists between these communities and how much their priorities differ.