lots of garlic

AU in which Eridan is secretly a merman or a siren and Dirk is secretly a vampire (or some shit) and they decide to try and court each other but while also thinking the other is human.

So like:

*At the restaurant*

Eridan: Drinks 3 glasses of water before the food comes.

Dirk: Shit humans drink way more water than I thought. *Tries to drink like 8 glasses of water and just ends up feeling like he’s going to die.*

Eridan: Shit Dirk has a lot of issues with the sun he burns so easily. I’m pale like him should I be having more trouble than this? Should I complain more?

 

Dirk: Shit man you’re incredible at swimming.

Eridan: H-Huh? Oh no! Haha I’m totally average at it!

Dirk: Shit man I better step up my swimming game fast.

 

Dirk: *Easy as Hell parkours up a building with gravity-defying acrobatics.*

Eridan: CAN ALL HUMANS DO THAT?!!?

 -

Also Roxy knows about both of them and is having THE TIME OF HER LIFE.

Eridan: Rox Rox you gotta help me hit on Dirk but like in a human way.

Roxy: Bite his neck that’s sexy.

Dirk: Roxy do you know a good date restaurant that doesn’t use a lot of garlic so I don’t break out in a rash?

Roxy: How about sushi?

Bristle

Prompt: 2) Hinny dueling, set anytime post-battle. Cocky harpy vs. wipe-the-floor-with-you Auror? First summer trauma coping? The angst/fluff potential is endless

A/N: so this is a combo of the prompt ^ from @julxr4 and inspiration from @blvnk-art‘s grown up hinny fan art, particularly this comic.

Also available on FF and Ao3!


Harry’s pretty capable, as far as new fathers go.  No major injuries or illnesses to report, and he thinks James seems pretty happy, all things considered.  So when Ginny goes to spring training for almost a month, he does alright.  Aside from missing Ginny like – something he would miss a lot.  Sleep deprivation is not particularly conducive to similes.  Or grooming.  Between a full workload with the Auror Office and handling James on his own every night, certain things get shunted to the side.  And it’s a pretty easy choice if he’s deciding between shaving and taking a kip for a quarter of an hour.

Which is why Ginny comes home to her husband lying spread eagle on the floor with the tiniest Potter splayed across his chest, playing with his newly grown beard.  “Alright Potters?”

James claps his chubby hands and topples back against Harry’s now raised thighs in excitement.

Quickly, Harry catches James around his middle and soon enough has his entire family wrapped in his arms.  Ginny’s warm and firm under his hands, freckles and just a touch of sunburn across her shoulders, her chocolate eyes sparkling in that way that lets him know he’s not the only one who’s been lonely.

James pitches toward Ginny, his kiss overly wet and gummy, while Harry nuzzles her damp hair.  “We missed you.”

Ginny takes James into her arms, showering him with kisses before using her free hand to scratch at Harry’s beard.  “This is new.”

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Kang Daniel | Soulmate!AU | Taste

Originally posted by kngniel

prompt: when you aren’t eating anything, you taste whatever your soulmate tastes.

note: this was inspired by me actually waking up to the taste of toothpaste and gummy worms lmao.

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hearty "sick day" soup

This does require a couple more spoons then opening a can of soup. However if you make a big pot on a good spoon day it freezes well. This can be prepped in the crock pot or on the stove. The longer the chicken cooks in the broth…the tastier the broth is in my opinion 

  • 1 or two big cans/boxes whatever chicken broth
  • 1 rotisserie chicken
  • 1 bag mixed frozen veggies (I like to be sure there’s carrots and celery in my veggies as they make the best chicken in my opinion)
  • spices that you like. I like garlic. LOTS of Garlic.

There’s two ways to prep the chicken. I like to rip off all the meat, set it asiide and boil the carcass in broth and water all day, then run it through a strainer. This makes a heartier more flavorful and healthier stock. Or you can just toss bits of rotisserie meat in broth. Either way is good. 

Next mix your veggies and spices in your broth. Cook until everything is done. BAM soup! 

Perfect Pizza Toppings

While having lunch with the gorgon Embers J. Lapilli at her pizzeria, Pyroclastic, we got to talking about the wide variety of clientele that come in through the door — or through the floor, depending on the time of day. Pyroclastic has a subterranean entrance to better serve light-sensitive undead customers.

Vampires: “No garlic, lots of sauce. Extra cheese, as many kinds as we have. Top with unwashed mushrooms! Many apparently enjoy the earthy taste. Occasionally they request coffee grounds, too.”

Mermaids: “Sausage and bell peppers. We make a special dough with sea water for ‘em and they say it makes ‘em feel right at home.”

Earth elementals: “We call it ‘mud pie!’ Bits of gravel sprinkled into a thin mud sauce served on a crust of sod. Dandelions or milkweed are common requests, though some ‘em prefer thistles.”

Dragons: “Oh yeah! Surprising I know, but we get a lot of ‘em. Some shape shift down in size and eat at a table, but the young ‘uns, who haven’t mastered that spell? Well, we have a knoll out in the back behind the shop. They lay ‘round up there. Whatever their size, we ask ‘em for some notice as they tend to eat about a dozen pizzas at a time — each!”

Water Nymphs: “Dragonflies and sea slime. Lotssah sea slime.”

Robots Who Have Become Sentient and Wish to be Social: “They always try to flirt with our pizza oven and I have to shoo them away. We fix ‘em up with some circuit boards and cheese-covered bolts. No one goes hungry at Pyroclastic.”

🌶🌶🌶😍Korean braised tofu for dinner today. At 673 calories (including kimchi) for the entire block of tofu, you can’t go wrong really haha 😍👌🌶🤤

One block of drained firm tofu
Cut into about 1cm thick blocks and in a very non stick pan (or a pan with oil) fry gently on both sides until browned. Poor sauce and give them a good shimmy until the sauce completely reduces and covers them.

Sauce:

5 heaped tsps of gochujang (uk people I recommend getting it on amazon instead of at the shops as it’s a rip off in supermarkets 😉)

1 tbs syrup (I used maple but brown rice syrup would be better I think)

Garlic ( I like a LOT of garlic so used a very heaped tea spoon but it’s up to you!)

Water ( just to make it about the same viscosity of pasata/ pasta sauce. I think maybe 1/3 a cup)

Optional add a tbs of light soy and ¼ tsp vinegar for extra sass.

Garnish with spring onion (scallion) and toasted sesame seeds.

khancrackers replied to your post “starlit-kisses replied to your photo: …”

it’s rice pulverized by water, heat, and time. there’s no wrong way

THANK

i legit get anxious about modifying recipes and knowing how specific food words are supposed to be if i didn’t grow up with them so this is reassuring

(i.e. you can put basically whatever you want in an empanada and it’s still an empanada but if you put mozzarella and pepperoni in there that’s just a weird calzone but does someone who didn’t grow up with those foods know these things, i don’t know)

Vegan Taco Soup

this recipe makes TONS of leftovers. it freezes well and you can just cut the recipe in half for a smaller amount!!
before i was vegan i used to make taco soup for my family all the time, and you could easily add some ground meat by sautéing about half a large package of ground meat of your choice, onions, bell peppers, some garlic, and some salt and pepper together before adding the canned veggies. you can also cook this in the crockpot, just cook the meat beforehand and dump everything into the pot and let it cook for a few hours or overnight.

Ingredients-
-2 cans of black beans
-2 cans of red kidney beans
-1 or 2 cans of corn
-1 can of rotel (diced tomatoes with green chilies)
-lots and lots of garlic, about three or four tablespoons of the jarred stuff and a few teaspoons of garlic powder. it adds a different flavor
-2 frozen or fresh chopped onions
-1 chopped bell pepper (optional)
-salt and pepper to taste, start with a tablespoon of each
-about half a tablespoon of cumin
-a few tablespoons of chili powder. this is what gives the soup the color and flavor it needs to be good taco soup so don’t be afraid of putting too much.
-(optional) a tablespoon or so of cajun seasoning. it makes a huge difference, i put this stuff in everything. if you use it you should probably put it before the salt since sometimes it can be a bit salty
-a few splashes of hot sauce
-tortilla chips (optional)
-shredded cheese and sour cream (optional)
-packet of ranch dressing mix, it adds a wonderful flavor. (optional)

Instructions-
1. sauté the meat and not canned veggies if you’re using meat in a large pot with a little olive oil, if not then this step is completely optional.
2. add all the canned ingredients and as much water as you’d like, i usually put five or six cans of water.
3. add all the rest of the ingredients and taste it to make sure it tastes right. if you think it needs something try putting garlic, salt, chili powder or onion powder.
4. bring the soup to a boil and cook on medium low heat for 40-60 minutes. serve with sour cream, cheese, or tortilla chips.

***note*** if you aren’t putting meat in your soup you might have to put less salt. i’ve noticed that the meat absorbs a lot of the salt and spice, so be cautious with it. you can always add more to your serving.

Torn Up (Part 2)

Originally posted by wiillmajohansson

All righty, y’all, as promised, here’s part 2! Again, a couple of disclaimers:  

Since I only have up to about part 11 finished and edited, I’ll be updating twice a week, probably on Wednesdays and Saturdays with a few changes depending on the week, so that I can get ahead

I can’t believe the feedback I’ve been getting?? You guys are fantastic, and I love each and every one of you. Feel free to weigh in with your opinions about how the story is going; I do take constructive criticism (Just please be nice, I’m sensitive)

I also have a question:  does anyone get the joke in my url? Inquiring minds want to know

Warnings: Foul language, rude jokes, and Mitchell Marner as (terribly executed) comic relief. Yikes.

Parts One through Five

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marcus027  asked:

I feel like I may regret asking this but what exactly is happening here?

oh there are multiple things going on including irregular art, headcanons, AUs, kork/angie shitposts and occasional references to the void!!

there’s a summary of the void events here. stay safe!!

okay y’all, take it from a southern queer kitchen witch: biscuits ‘n gravy IS indeed a witch meal (as is any meal you make, not just traditionally “healthy” food)! you’d be surprised what can nourish your body and spirit when you work from scratch and share your energy with your kitchen and ingredients. 

below is my recipe, inspired by the spicy-fennel gravy my Appalachian grandma always seemed to have on her stove when we visited. i use to call it “glop,” xo

*to my weed witches, this is the perfect wake-n-bake w/ friends or lovers on a Sunday morning kindof meal* 

🍴 Easy Biscuits: makes 6-8 

*2c all purpose flour, plus more for dusting   *2 tbsp baking powder

*sugar, 2 large pinches (think thumb + index)  *1 tsp salt   *1c whole milk

*5 tbsp COLD (!!) unsalted butter, cut into small chunks (i cut it then put it back in the fridge until i’m ready to blend) 

-If using food processor, add flour / baking powder / sugar / salt and cut in butter (~7 pulses), until it resembles rough crumbs. otherwise, add the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl and use a fork or dough blade to cut in the chunks of butter. your dough should look like a crumble, with no visible butter. 

-if using food processor, transfer crumble to a mixing bowl. add milk and stir with fork until it resembles a sticky, rough ball. turn-over onto flour surface, sprinkle top with flour and begin patting into a round disc, gently pat it down, and fold over. do this once more. bond with ur dough, it loves you!

-rest a kitchen towel over the dough for 30 minutes. when you return, dust a cup’s rim to cut-out biscuits. return to fridge until ready to bake. 

-preheat a cast iron skillet in the oven at 425°F. when preheated, add cold biscuits and brush with melted butter / oil. bake for 10-15 minutes, until the dough doesn’t give to your finger when you press the tops. if you don’t have a skillet, simple bake on a baking sheet according to the instructions above!

🍳 Grandma Irene’s Gravy: makes plenty for ur biscuits, plus a lil extra!

*peppercorns (lots!) + garlic, 2 cloves (protection, intuition)  *red chili (cleansing)

*fennel seed (confidence, self-love n growth)  *oregano (joy, fulfillment, health)

*1 lb ground sausage (or substitute)  *2+ tbsp AP flour  *3c whole milk

-toast ground peppercorns, fennel seed, garlic, dried red chili, and oregano (preferably fresh from ur plant bb) in a large cast-iron skillet or other deep frying pan. 

-add sausage (or substitute), pinched off into smaller chunks and cook over medium-high heat until brown. sprinkle generous salt.

-add 2 heaping tbsp flour and mix into sausage until combined. add milk and mix well, bring mixture to a boil then return to medium - stir lots during this process. the gravy will begin to thicken, be patient and cook it down for about 10-15 minutes as the biscuits finish.

-serve to your liking, though i enjoy w/ a sunny-side up egg on top!! 

anonymous asked:

Hi, I was just wondering if you had any vegan food recommendations in London?

London is a big city so obviously there are tonnes of vegan-friendly places to eat. Here are some popular ones and my favourites: 

  • birdie’s – best soy latte in the city + good vegan breakfasts
  • club mexicana – tacos, burritos, deep fried cheeze 🌯
  • franco manca – sourdough pizza, get #1 and lots of garlic oil!
  • the full nelson – american-style good stuff
  • itadaki zen – vegan sushi is my favourite food! 🍣🍙 
  • mildred’s – simple, reasonably priced but still delicious, wide range of foods, big portions
  • manna – something different
  • v burger – seitan / falafel / quinoa burgers 🍔

I also recommend @katelouisepowell‘s list of vegan-friendly chains, and remember that really fancy places should be able to cater to vegans, just ring ahead. I heave eaten at sketch and claridge’s and they can both do vegan food if you let them know, so always give it a try! 

Too spicy?

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

Summary: Though Dean can handle spicy food, it’s never certain he can handle reader’s very spicy garlic dressing.

Warnings: Nothing just a small drabble with a bit of fun. A little of implied smut.

Word count: 888

A/N: This kinda just happened, because I wanna get back into the groove, which I know I’ve sucked at, and I am so sorry for that. But I made a little too spicy garlic dressing when I made nachos the other day, hence this drabble got to exist. Thanks to @curliesallovertheplace, my babe, for betaing this! 

Originally posted by frozen-delight

“Dean I am telling you, I cannot cook, it’s no matter what we talk about, I just can’t,” you laughed as your head laid in Dean’s lap.

“And I am telling you, that you can cook nachos! If you can manage to ruin nachos I will never ask you to cook ever again. Deal?” Dean smirked.

“You will regret your decision Dean!” You exclaimed when you stood up from the couch, where you had been watching tv. You started walking towards the kitchen to start your “cooking”, when Dean couldn’t help himself.

“At least I’ve got a great view!” He said as he stared at your ass.

Cooking was really not your strong suit, so the idea of just cooking nachos was making you uncomfortable.

“Oh well, I have something to prove… that I really can’t cook,” you laughed to yourself.

“Y/N, you better try to do your best, no messing up on purpose!” Dean yelled from the couch. “Or there won’t be any dessert for you tonight!” He yelled, you could hear the smirk in his voice as he said those words.

“Sure hun, wouldn’t do such a thing!” You yelled back laughing.

“How much garlic does one even put in a garlic dressing?” You questioned yourself as you stood there staring at the garlic and the creme fraiche, after you had put the nachos in the oven. You turned the garlic in your hand wondering, looking back and forth from the creme fraiche to the garlic. “Oh well we’re just gonna try something then,” you said as you started peeling the garlic from each other.

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Chapter 6 - Peace Offering

Chapter One & Two  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21


You had to move. It was the only solution you could come up with since you certainly couldn’t face Baekhyun or Minseok ever again.  Not after how they’d looked after you in your drunken state. That alone was embarrassing enough. Include the texts you sent Baekhyun and the photo you sent to Minseok… there wasn’t enough food in the world you could cook to apologise for your behaviour.  You had probably scarred poor Minseok for life.

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