i’ve been thinking a lot about “queer fashion” lately and i want to talk a bit about it and maybe have a conversation? like i’m open to changing my mind and i’d love to hear other (queer) people’s thoughts
anyway. the reason i’m not a huge fan of the whole “person does x thing, they must be queer” rhetoric: for me, a queer person who has been told i don’t look queer enough, it makes me feel like there is one right way to be queer, and i must be that way, otherwise people will think i’m straight. like it limits the options available to me. if you know what i mean? i want to be read as queer, but it’s like… why is it my fault that people see cishet as the default and assume everyone is?
because i do feel like this ties into “cishet until proven otherwise”, and so you need the “proof” in the form of [insert queer coded look here]. like, what if we could go from “maybe this person wearing x is queer” to “anyone could be queer because you can’t see people’s orientations on the outside”. i think that would be cool?
i realise people who criticise that some clothes/looks are coded as queer can, and often do, come from a place of thinly veiled homophobia. i’m not about that. i’m not here for straight girls whining about people thinking they’re lesbians because they have short hair. i do not care about them, or “metrosexual” guys, or any of the other nonsense straight people have come up with to separate themselves from us. i care about myself and other queer people and how we navigate the world.
i also want to make clear that this is not in any way a criticism of people who find comfort in having these identifiers!! i’m aware of the history of this and i have also sought comfort in stereotypical things because i want to feel like i belong, and i’m not saying that’s a bad thing. i’m not looking to pretend that nothing has ever meant anything. what i’m looking for is a way forward where people aren’t automatically assumed as cishet unless they wear certain things. i realise that’s a lot to ask for but what can i say, i’m a dreamer.
again, i’m very open to constructive conversation with people who think differently, so long as we keep it respectful. (i’m quite scared of posting this because tumblr discourse tends to be very cocksure at all times and i’m not entirely sure about this at all, these are thoughts i’m trying out and i’m open to the possibility that i may be wrong. but please don’t yell at me. thank you.)