lots and lots of swirls


aimless sketching kinda lead me to think…. what would the esper boys’ ghost-like form look like?

aannnnnnd several thoughts started to bounce around my head so wrote them down under the cut…..

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It’s so funny… i am moving out in two weeks and i thought i had explored every inch of the forests here but no i was wrong.. new paths appearing since a few weeks ago and today again! And they were the most wonderful, beautiful, magical paths i’ve ever seen! Even when the leaves of the trees are almost all gone. Today I walked through a small zigzag path with a lot of thin trees with lots of branches everywhere and roots swirling around EVERYWHERE! With moss covering it. It took my breath away. I called it “The Swirling Forest” haha. I saw leaves falling and twirling around, hearing them fall on the ground. Then this little path ended and i came out into a very big, long path. Wow, i thought: where am i?! Its so beautiful here! Why didnt i see this before? Then after a while a crossroad appeared and i took the left path. And there were many little birds! I didn’t know where i was. I was a little lost. But i found my way back. The forest really has secrets. For anyone who’s searching for them. Very interesting adventures im having lately. Thank you forest 😊

Hey guys. I’d like to talk to you about empathy. It’s one of those nights, where I can’t quite make sense of myself, so I think this will help. If you’re interested, you’re welcome to read. If not, it’s all good, scroll right past.

I only recently (probably last year or so) found out that I’m an empath. I’m not sure how I stumbled across the word, but I remember reading about it and thinking “Holy crap, that sounds like me” and the more I looked into it, the more things made sense.
If you’re unfamilar, empathy in regular human emotion is basically the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other person’s frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another’s shoes.
Pretty much everyone feels empathy to a degree, if something bad has happened to a close friend, you try and imagine how they are feeling so that you can best comfort them. Now try and imagine that empathy ramped up 100%. You’re always open to other people’s emotions and can take them on; even people you have never met. If someone is hurt, you feel it too. You know the motivation and intents of others. You can feel the energy in the air, animals, plants, the earth. This is why I can see colours in things that don’t have colour, and sometimes taste sound. It’s pretty overwhelming, as you can imagine.

When I found out about being an empath, I looked back and wondered if maybe this was the reason I used to act how I did when I was younger.
People seem to like my company, which is awesome! But… socialising exhausts me. It’s not that I don’t like socialising, because I do enjoy meeting people and talking to friends, but if there’s too much going on, I get frazzled and have to take some time out on my own for a few days afterwards. It’s kind of hard to explain, and I know friends that used to get frustrated with me if I didn’t contact them much for a couple of days after being out. So many people and so much energy and emotion is a problem for an empath if you’re unsure how to properly deal with it.
Relationships are another thing I have a lot of problems with, because… well, there’s a whole lot of emotions swirling around right there. Every relationship I’ve had, has ended because I put up giant walls - and now I know why. I was trying to stop the overwhelming amount of FEELS heading in my direction, and I didn’t know how best to handle them. Putting myself in my partners shoes, and trying to figure out what they felt for me and WHY - and what I felt for them - was brain overload, I guess. Thankfully, I’m doing better with this now, thanks to starting to figure this whole empathy thing out.
I still build walls sometimes, when things get too much, but it’s mostly for anger and conflict, which I cannot deal with. The last time I failed in pulling them up quick enough, I fell into depression - bad times. I mood swing up and down when depressed and it’s a nightmare.
I also suffer from chronic pain. I used to have burning pains in my back when I was little, which was never diagnosed. I now have Rheumatoid Arthritis/Disease, and random body pain that the doctors can’t seem to figure out. I think it’s because I get stressed, because I’m always trying to figure out how to save the world. Haha. It kind of sucks. So I’m still learning how to best block that out. I know there are certain things that you can do to dispel bad energy so I may try them sometime. Because it hurts when the world hurts. I mentioned in an earlier post that I went to the 9/11 site last month while I was away on holiday and could not deal with the pain there and had to leave. That was another thing that really opened my eyes to this. Tonight, I read about a friend’s pain, and immediately felt awful in myself. If I see someone cry, I will also cry, because they’re hurting damnit and I hate seeing them hurting. You know what’s also great? When you empathise with fictional characters. Oh boy, that’s a ride and a half. I can’t rewatch a few of my favourite TV shows because of this (I’m looking at you, Life on Mars and Hannibal).
Sometimes, I know stuff and I have no idea how I know this stuff, which is kind of weird, but sometimes kind of cool, I guess.

If you’re still reading this - thanks. You’re awesome, and I hope you learnt a little bit about when I ramble on about empath problems. I’m gonna wrap this up now I think. I should be asleep. I feel a little better though.

A Party Gone Right  ❤  USUK

[A gift for @aph-1776. Omegaverse for the USUK Secret Santa 2015 event!!! Honestly it’s just a bunch of blushing and being flustered. Please enjoy!]

When Arthur’s best friend had invited him to the Christmas party he was throwing, the Englishman had rejected it altogether. Why would he want to go? Francis knew he was quite the introvert and would rather be in his dorm sleeping than going to a party, but after endless whining and relentless dramatic gestures and reactions, Arthur had caved.

And, by God, was he happy that he had.

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Afternoon doodles turned into serious drawing time pretty quickly today…

sergeantsexface  asked:

Seb is not a cinnamon cake. He is a cinnamon babka. It's a sort of sweet bread with a filling, I'd say it's heavier and richer than just a regular old cake. And the dough is twisted on itself, making pretty patterns when sliced. Like the adorable cinnamon roll that grew up and went to war and returned. XD

suddenly everything makes perfect sense.

With immense love and support:

A BIG ‘Thank You!’ to anamatics, hotladypants, and the entire cast and crew at carmillaseries for their continued involvement with the fandom and for bringing us a phenomenal series like Carmilla!

While a lot of negativity swirls about the fandom and gains a lot of attention, there are many of us who can’t put into words how much we appreciate what you’ve given us. Not just the show, but the extras, the transmedia expansions, the questions answered… it’s all such a gift.

This degree of inclusion and support of your fans is something I’ve never seen before.

Thank you. THANK YOU!

Rewatching the diner scene and ugg I know it’s not a big deal but just watching their facial expressions it’s so good. The subtle changes in Frank’s expressions- the softening, his purposeful gaze, the humor, the grief. His attention is on her, but he’s still monitoring the perimeter, you see him glancing over to the window checking out the circling Buick.His transition from the almost desperate command to “hold onto it” to “you need to go in the back” is so fluid because he is completely in the conversation with her and also completely aware of his surroundings and the plan.The cool calm exterior and evidence of control. Frank Castle has so much depth it’s wrecking me. 


Divergent Cast - What are you listening to?

Who did you say you’re listening to TonyToneloc?