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Thorin: Okay, PJ. You know Fíli and Kíli are mine right?

PJ: No.

Thorin: Of course you do. You are not about to give my mountain to Thranduil are you?

PJ: Really, Thorin. I know better than that. Everyone one knows he has to get past Smaug.

Smaug ran out on an errand. In the UK for some reason. I have no idea why.

PJ: You get the mountain, Thranduil. You are rather frightening.

Thranduil: I am not frightening. I am your worse nightmare. Give me the mountain and I shall let you live.

PJ: No, problem.

Thranduil just got an entire mountain as a dressing room. Good thing I’m on his good side.

That’s my dad!