lot kids

season 1 April: bubbly, well-meaning, tries her best, girl-next-door type friend, snarky but nice.

season 5 April: tired, anger issues, trauma doesn’t exist unless she lets it, zero fucks left to give, “look it was either i stab someone or start crying. i didn’t have much choice.”

Fuck man I just want to protect all the kids who are lonely and sit by themselves in school or on the bus, the kids who have no one to talk to and who eat lunch alone. I want to protect the shy kids and the awkward kids who can never find their voice and who never quite fit in, always hanging out on the edges of their friend groups. I want to protect all the insecure kids, the kids who struggle with their weight or their skin, who hate their hair or the shape of their nose or the fact that their thighs touch, the kids who have never once felt beautiful, the kids who hate themselves because they look in the mirror and all they can see are the flaws society and all their peers have pointed out. I want to protect the kids who cry themselves to sleep at night, the kids who don’t have anyone to turn to, the kids who can’t imagine a future where they’re happy. I want to protect the kids who struggle in school, the kids who try so damn hard and still only manage to pass, the kids who stay up all night working on a project only to be told it’s “adequate”, the kids who equate their self worth to their grades and what college they can get into.

People seem to forget that being a kid so fucking hard and I just want kids to know it’s okay and it’s all going to work out. You’ll find someone who likes you for you. You’ll find a group of people just as weird as you to sit with. Your skin will clear and the scars will fade. You can learn to love your body. Failing an exam or two is never the end of the world, even if it feels like it at the time. School ends and you’ll move on and you’ll forget how miserable you were when you were 15. Because here’s the thing: being 15 is hard. Being a kid is the worst because kids can be cruel and adults forget what it was like to be young and all you’re trying to do is find yourself. But it doesn’t last forever. Don’t give up, I promise the best is still to come.

A message from your Avatar.

“Hey, guys!

   “–So, I found something out recently, and I just wanted to talk to you about it. Ever since the secret dance party my friends and I held, it seems a lot of schools are having dance parties of their own around this time of year–and they don’t even have to be secret anymore!

   “It sounds like a lot of fun to me, and I just wanted to tell you all, if you’re curious about going, you should!  Any night is a good night to spend with your friends, and if you add music and dancing, well, it might just make it even better!

  “–And if you want to ask someone to dance, you should! Dancing is fun and you don’t have to be nervous about it; as long as you’re moving, you’re doing it right! 

   “So, ask them if you want, no matter what you think other’s might say or think, for any reason. Those people don’t matter; it’s just you and your partner when you’re dancing!

   “So, have fun, be safe, and don’t let the angry Fire Headmaster or oppressive government get you down!”

Most of us guessed that Navy would end up betraying everyone by the end of the episode. 

I don’t think most of us expected that having her go from this:

to this:

would be really good for Lapis’ mental health.

And despite certain people’s fears about certain story boarders… this was actually very much in character for her. I think it’s pretty safe to assume that Lapis has always been cynical, even in her pre mirror days. After she escaped she went from cynical to detached and apathetic. Not an unexpected defense mechanism for someone who was trapped in an inanimate object for 6,000 years. But she has made progress. She trusts Steven and Peridot. Enough not only to express her concerns, but to essentially make a confession.

Life on Earth is really confusing. It took me a long time to get use to it. I’m still getting use to it.

Given everything that’s happened to her on Earth, it’s only natural that she’s having a hard time adjusting. But she’s just confessed her biggest insecurity: she knows she’s having a hard time dealing with what she’s been through, while having to get use to to living a normal life on the planet where her greatest traumas happened. Before the rebellion she would have done her job and left for the next planet, Earth having been a distant memory by this time. But now she can never leave. Earth has to become home. 

She wants to move on, but feels guilty about how difficult actually doing that is.

So here comes this I-Insta-Love-All-Things-Earth ruby, who seems freakishly well adjusted from the moment she crashes face first into the planet. Never mind that she was lied to not once, but twice, by the crystal gems. Never mind that she was blasted out into space and abandoned while they stole her ship. All is instantly forgiven and she just wants to be a part of their happy family.

Worse yet? The people Lapis cares most about just buy it. They go right along with it as though Navy’s behavior is perfectly normal. It took time for Lapis to even begin to be okay with the idea of living in Earth and forgiving the crystal gems- she’s still working on it, and it’s painful. She’s worked so hard for every inch of progress she’s made, and here’s someone who’s seemingly able to move on the same day they got to Earth.

I just don’t get it. Why is it so easy for her when it was so hard for me? 

So when the perfectly well adjusted Navy turned out to be a gleeful sociopath  gleefully hell bent on revenge, everything fell into place.

Navy’s sudden but inevitable betrayal was the best thing to happen for Lapis’ mental health to date.

So what’s the take away from this? 1) People react differently to trauma. 2) Just because someone seems well adjusted doesn’t mean they are. 3) It’s okay to take a long time to heal from your traumas. It’s okay for it to be a constant work in progress. It’s okay not to be okay. 

And at the end of the day, that realization can almost feel like happiness. 

reasons why shiro is gone:

  • it’s naptime. he’s on the cot in the back.
  • the black lion put him in timeout
  • he got dropped off at daycare
  • he’s in a really high stakes game of hide & seek but he’s the only one who knows they’re playing
  • he got stuck putting his shirt on and he’s so embarrassed that he’s hiding
  • it’s just a trick of object permanence. he’s got his eyes covered. he can’t see the others? HE’S FUCKIN GONE
  • allura told him he was grounded for not eating his veggie goo so he decided to run away. he’s only like the space-equivalent of a block from the castle though.
Fanon Homestuck characters i experienced in fics over the years because i Love being in Pain: Beta kid Edition

JOHN: blank slate?? John “Can Be Whoever U Want” Egbert. sleeps with a nic cage bodypillow…..  uses :B a lot? Hello Naughty Children Its Nonstop Mean Pranks Time i hope u like ur hair dyed pink and half shaved

JADE: infomercial voice: Ever Needed an unnecessary antagonist to ur Dave x (character/reader insert) ship but didnt want to create a whole new character? Try Jade Harley for the low low price of $stop

ROSE: summons the power of every lovecraftian monstrosity to empower her ability to be ur wing-man in the up and coming ship of the fic. at exactly 12 midnight EST on a blue moon, during the Lost 29th Day of February, she may mention the tales of a wandering cryptid by the name of Kanaya then u will unlock her quest chain to later unlock this vampire to be a new playable character and gain an achievement

DAVE: 2 ¾ cups of all purpose Personality. 1 teaspoon of irony. ½ cup of apple juice. 2 eggs. 2 cups of white sugar. 1 ¼ cups of All I Do Is DJ. Then pour into a blender and sprinkle in 4 pounds of Popular Highschool Boy Tropes, force the lid closed, turn it on and pray

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infodumping about the ocean

the irl captain america