Dear many, many people who are currently looking for happy, non-dead queer ladies on zee telly!
May I present to you the awesome that is the Canadian series Lost Girl?
It is about a bisexual (ok, let’s be real: omnisexual polyamourous) succubus named Bo, her canonical girlfriend (Lauren) and boyfriend (Dyson), friend-with-benefits (Tamsin), and most importantly BFF (Kensi).
It is ridiculous, cracky, hilarious, fun, will make you laugh, and will probably at least once also make you cry. It is not all rainbows and kittens all the way through (gird your loins near the end of the series and invest in at least three boxes of Puffs with lotion and probably at least one bottle of Jack), and not everyone from episode one makes it to the series finale.
BUT BUT BUT Anna Silk’s breasts are MAGIC, and Bo & Kensi are THE BEST BFFS EVER OMG I CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU, and it is full of LOTS of sexyfuntimes with the ladies as well as the boys and is super sex-positive, and mostly is a rocking crackfest of epic proportions from beginning to end (tho you may choose to fast-forward through chunks of Raynor and I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU I HAVE ONLY LOVE TO GIVE).
I know that SF&F telly has an unfortunate history of queer ladies not getting happy endings, and all too often only tragic endings.
But I thought I’d let folks who may not know about it yet that this show exists, and is dear to my heart, and is chock full of good times. And I’m pretty sure it’s on Netflix and/or Hulu. If not, I will find out where it’s streaming, and update this post.
ETA: also, while there are happy endings for some of the queer ladies, NOT ALL. Tho it’s kinda hard to explain. But it seems fair to warn ahead of time.
Desc: Pan’s time left in the enchanted hourglass is running short, but he’s been too afraid to confront you and steal your heart to revive his strength. Because of his devotion to Pan, Felix takes it into his own hands to bring your end, for fear that he will lose his master. Neither you nor Felix have come to realize that Pan has locked away feelings that he holds for you.
gif not mine -
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“Where are we?” you questioned.
Felix led you up a narrow path, his weapon slung lazily across his right shoulder. You trod against a cold flat stone, and you could hear the sounds of the crashing ocean at your ears. The moist rock beneath you slid under your toes, and you gripped the rough walls for support.
“Peter wanted me to show you something,” Felix drawled as he led the way.
“Oh yeah?” you said, “So why doesn’t he show me himself?”
Felix’s momentarily went stiff, and he stopped in his tracks. You waited for him to answer, but he only said,
He took a turn left, where he led you into a vast dome shaped cavern. Torches were strung against the walls, their flames dancing against the black of the night seeping in through the carved out slabs of stone. But your eyes were far from this, because they’d fallen on a most intricate and large hourglass. It was smooth and crystal-like glass, where inside a million golden flecks of sand sparkled in a glowing blurry haze. You found yourself drawn to it, and you placed your palm again the cool surface of the hourglass.
“Felix,” you breathed. “What is this?”
Felix paced around the hourglass, his eyes glued hungrily to you.
“It’s the determining factor of what holds all that is good on this island together.”
You brought your eyes to his, eyebrows lifting curiously. You had never like Felix, he was sick and secretive, and perhaps as bad as Pan himself. Your heart fluttered momentarily, and your fingers tensed. ‘I hate Peter,’ your thoughts reassured you. Or, they tried to, because deep down inside your feelings stirred for Peter, and you hated to admit it to yourself.
“What does it do?” you asked, trying to leech answers out of him.
Felix sighed and gripped his axe.
“Notice how the time is about to run out,” he said, ignoring your question impatiently. “When that hourglass looses its last bead of sand, he will crumble.”
An icy chill ran through your spine, and you chewed your lower lip nervously, you could only guess who ‘he’ was.
Felix drew closer, approaching you slowly. His ugly scar glinted in the light, and his mouth twisted into a grin.
“You are the only thing that can save us,” he said, releasing a raspy breath.
“S-save-I-uh,” your words caught in your throat, and you backed away nervously.
Felix lurched forward, nipping you easily in his strong hands.
“The heart of the truest believer is the key. Now, give me your heart, or I swear I’ll carve it out myself,” he growled.
“If I don’t…he’ll die?” your words came soft and scared.
Felix raised a brow, “How sweet, now don’t tell me you’ve come to care for him?”
You flicked your eyes across Felix’s scarred face, anger flaring in your chest as you sent a kick flying to his stomach. He stumbled back, a scream of protest coming from his mouth. You slid against the wet ground, and scrambled for an exit, flying around the corner with a frantic pace. You skidded across the splattered droplets of sea water on the floor, causing you to go flying hard into the ground. Stars flew around your head, and your hands flew to your achy skull. Even through your blurred vision you saw him coming.
He chuckled malevolently and swung his axe forward, swooping in one low arc towards your crumbled and broken form.
You waited for the pain to come, ready for death to arrive, but it didn’t.
Cautiously, your squeezed eyelids released and opened.
“Peter,” you whispered.
He stood in front of you, his skin paler than ever, blocking the path between yourself and Felix. Something about him gave him a much weaker and feeble stature. His hands were raised to Felix, agony printed across his face.
Felix’s wide eyes narrowed into slits, shock and distaste clear when he spoke, “You don’t know what’s good for you Pan. Let me help.”
“Why have you become this, you’re not this pathetic coward, too afraid to do what is right after you’ve been hunting for her heart all this time,” Felix said, his voice quickly rising.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Pan said coldly.
Felix waved his axe threateningly.
“If you won’t, I will,” he barked.
And with that, the blunt side of his axe sent Peter flying into the cave wall, where he slid down like a rag doll. Felix came at you, ravenous and animal -like when he thrust his hand deep inside your chest, and extracted your pulsing heart. You groaned in agony, and each ounce of energy you had left began to drain. Peter moaned in pain, a deep gash spread across his forehead. He was too weak, but you managed to stumble over behind Felix and collapse at Peter’s feet. Your sight began to turn black and foggy.
“No. No…(Y/N)..” you heard Peter plead, but his voice was far off and distant. Then he looked up, moving his attention from you. “Felix…Don’t.”
Felix smiled, “Pan never fails.”
He bent forward, and plunged your heart into Pan’s chest with one swift movement.
Pan gasped with the shock, burning power radiated from his body, and his skin glowed with youth.
Felix panted heavily, rejoicing in his own success.
“How are you feeling now?” Felix grinned.
There was a silence in which Pan’s mouth hung open, his body shaking with new found energy.
“Better than ever,” you heard him say.
And then you blacked out.
When you awoke it was clear that something was horribly wrong. The sand in the hourglass was vanishing even more rapidly then before, and Felix lay unconscious on the stone. Peter was bent over your body, weak and frail. It took you a moment to realize what had happened; Peter had lied, your heart had failed him. You didn’t have the heart of the truest believer, and Pan was going to die.
“No,” you said, your hand feeling for your chest, where sure enough a heart beat inside from where he’d returned it.
“Let me help,” you pleaded, “Please.”
Peter smiled sadly, his hand on your cheek.
“I’m so sorry I never told you before. Sorry that I could ever tell you how deeply and truly in love with you I am, more than you will ever get to know.”
Droplets formed at your eyes, and you mumbled his name softly.
Peter’s smile faltered, and he collapsed on the ground, his body going stiff.
You leaped up in shock, there were barely any remaining sand droplets, not nearly enough time to save him. You cradled his head in your lap, sobbing into his cold chest. After all of his suffering, you almost wished your heart was the one he seeked, and you wished you could hand it to him, let him have another chance. The heart of the truest believer was never yours to begin with, and who knew where it was…
Suddenly you froze.
Your eyes fell to the ground where Felix lay, and you silently stared at him. The answer stirred within your chest, pushing you to do what you needed to. Without thinking twice, you sat bolt upright, blocking your vision as you reached into Felix’s chest and yanked out his heart. You turned quickly, falling by Peter’s side again, and as the last droplet of hope fell, you pushed the heart into his body.
The silence that followed was excruciatingly painful. But without warning -
“Peter!” you exclaimed, and he opened his mouth in shock, giving you the opportunity to press your lips roughly against his. He responded quickly, and his hands slithered across your sides and brought your bodies tight to each other.
“(Y/N),” he murmured with confusion, “How?”
You smiled, dimples forming at your rosy cheeks.
“You made me believe in you Peter, but the heart of the truest believer lay with the person most faithful to you from the beginning, someone who always put faith in you, even though you never saw it all this time…Felix.”
Pan glanced across the floor, his eyes sad and understanding.
“I’m sorry I let him-” began Pan.
“We can make up for it,” you said, running your fingers through his messy hair.
You brought your lips to his forehead and pecked him all over.
Peter grinned against your skin, “We will,” he agreed, “and I will love you for all of eternity.”