lost teddy bear

Dating Sam Wilson and being Wade's sibling would include

- you and Sam would get along really well
- wow my family name is Wilson too!
- he would be the one to make the first move
- on the first date he would take you flying
- cheesy pic up lines
- I lost my teddy bear can I cuddle with you?
- Sam it’s been 2 years!
- at first he wouldn’t know that your wade’s sis/bro
-wade wouldn’t know either
- you’re his sis/bro?
-that’s you’re boyfriend?
-PRANKS
-incredible sex
-getting caught by Cap
-Wade giving you the talk even though you’re 25
- I don’t care if you know it you’re my baby sister!
-steeling Tony’s iron man suit
-getting along with everyone really well
-Bucky calling you his girlfriend
-Sam getting jealous
-having jealous sex
-he would finally propose
- Y/n you’re finally going be the better Wilson
- excuse me?
-nothing m'am
-Wade crying on the wedding day

Lost And Then Found — Ted E. Bear’s Grand Aquarium Adventure

Late one afternoon, Security Officers Sylvia and Kevin found a lost teddy bear belonging to a visiting school. After locating the owners, they took him on a tour of the Aquarium to pass the time before he could be returned. Here is the tale of Ted E Bear’s Grand Aquarium Adventure.

Don’t worry, don’t panic. This has happened before.

Yep—I’m just here by myself, alone on the floor.
I guess things aren’t fine, since no adieu was truly bid…
Oh my goodness, my gracious, just where is my kid?!

Maybe the teacher brought everyone back to the kelp?
Nope, nobody. OK, uh—yeah, I may need a little help.

Excuse me coral, apologies, I don’t mean to vent
But perhaps you know where exactly my kid went?

I guess I’ll just finish the visit on my own, that’s not so bad.
When you’re happy as a clam there’s no reason to be sad.

*Sniff* No, this really isn’t fun to be alone with the fish!
I want to find my kid! Please, I just have this simple wish!

- Hey little buddy! Aw—are you lost my dear?
- Yes! I can’t find my kid! I’m alone forever I fear!
- What’s your name? We’re Kevin and Sylvia and we care.
- Thank you so much for your help. My name’s Ted E. Bear.

- Not to worry, helping you get unlost is part of our job!
- Really? Oh wow, oh thank you—you’re most—oh *SOB!*

There there Mr. Bear we’ll find your kid, post haste!
Now let’s make sure your visit doesn’t go to waste!

- Check it out, I helped raise this little purple-striped jelly!
- Wow, it’s really beautiful—awesome job there Tommy!
- Want to give it a shot? I’ll bet you’re great at animal care.
- Wow, I don’t think I could—I’m just a little plush bear!

- Nonsense, you got this. Here’s a scraper—it’s all in the wrist!
- How’s that?
- Perfect! Look at you—you’re a budding jelly Aquarist!

- Whoa, what’s this class—I get to feed the fishes?!
- Yep! But to pass, you’ll need to wash the dishes!

- The control room is cool!
- You’re eating it up like a glutton!
- What’s this switch here?
- DON’T TOUCH THE RED BUTTON!

- Want to help us greet our guests—Jasmine needs an intern!
- Oh wow, a job at the Aquarium—it will be so much fun to learn!

Learn… Where do I remember hearing that word… SCHOOL!
My kid! I have to get back! But… working here would be so cool!

Oh me, oh my—I really want to help conserve the great blue sea!
And… being there for my kid is the way for me to fulfill my destiny!

- OK, let’s find my school—what assistance can I show?
- Oh, we already found them.
- Really, when?!
- About 8 hours ago.

- Well, then let’s get this show on the road!
Box me up, make sure I’m safe and stowed!
- Can do Ted E! We wish you the best on your journey!
Thanks for stopping by, say hello to your school family!

Dear Sylvia and Kevin, 
I made it back to class safe and sound.
The teachers were so happy to tell the kids I had been found.
Thanks for teaching me to find my dreams and in my heart carry ‘em.
Much love from your Beary-best friend, Ted- E, to the Monterey Bay Aquarium!

Thanks so much to Ms. Bizon’s class and the Sea Breeze School in Foster City for letting us host Ted E for the day—albeit accidentally! We hope to sea him again soon!

SEND ME A BAD PICK-UP LINE

Go ahead and add more if you want!

“Are you a magician? When I looked at you, everyone else disappeared.”
“I’ve been feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.”
“Can I get a picture of you? I want to show my parents what my spouse looks like.”
“Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.”
“When God made you, he was showing off.”
“Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?”
“What time do you have to go back to Heaven?”
“Are you a camera? Every time I look at you, I smile.”
“I might as well call you Google, because you have everything that I’m looking for.”
“Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?”
“I love every bone in your body. Especially mine.”
“Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you sure are CuTe.”
“Would you like to have breakfast in bed tomorrow?”
“Are you a thief? I think you just stole my heart.”
“If I could change the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”
“Call life alert! I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up.”
“Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?”
“I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?”
“Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
“Feel my shirt. You know what it’s made of? Date material.”
“If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.”
“There’s something wrong with my phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.”
“On a scale of 1 to 10: You’re a 9, and I’m the 1 you need.”
“I lost my number. Can I have yours?”
“Let’s play Titanic. You be the ocean, and I’ll go down on you.”
“Did we have a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.”
“Do you have a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.”
“There are 21 letters in the alphabet, right? Oh, wait. I missed ‘U’, ‘R’, ‘A’, ‘Q’, ‘T’.”
“If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.”
“Are you going to kiss me, or am I going to have to lie in my journal?”
“I don’t have a library card, but can I check you out?”
“You must be a broom, because you just swept me off your feet.”
“Do you like KFC? Because you’re finger lickin’ good.”
“What’s on the menu? Me-n-u.”
“I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.”
“Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
“You must be tired. You’ve been running through my mind all day long.”

boyfriend bangtan

 boyfriend namjoon;
- neck kisses
- shopping trips
- enjoy having you just sitting on his lap
- “i lost my teddy bear, can i sleep with you?”

boyfriend seokjin; 
- cooking together with you
- cheesy pick up line
- thigh hugs
- “did the sun come out, or did you just smile at me?”

boyfriend yoongi; 
- forehead kisses
- arm over your shoulder
- flowers on anniversary
- “let me show you my tongue technology”

boyfriend hoseok; 
- thight hugs
- coffee dates 
- doing aegyo whenever your sad
- “here, come to my lap and hug me!”

boyfriend jimin;
- waist holding
- matching outfits
- travelling together
- “your lips look lonely. would they like to meet mine?”

boyfriend taehyung; 
- protective boyfriend
- asking you not to go out with other boys
- worried about you 24/7
- "where are you now? don’t you miss me? i miss you”

boyfriend jungkook;
- like to cuddling with you
- call you every morning
- reply your text with video
- "can i borrow a kiss? i promise i’ll give it back”

Pick up Lines--Karasuno Version
  • Daichi: Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
  • Sugawara: They call me coffee. I grind so fine.
  • Asahi: I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?
  • Tanaka: Forget about spiderman, superman, and batman. I’ll be your man.
  • Nishinoya: Do you have a band-aid? Cause I scraped my knee falling for you.
  • Ennoshita: If you were a movie, Id rate you 5 stars.
  • Narita: Are you a Camera? Cause everytime I look at you, I smile.
  • Kinoshita: If I had Captain Jack Sparrow’s compass, it would be pointing at you.
  • Tsukishima: Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?
  • Yamaguchi: Your smile is the most beautiful curve on your body
  • Kageyama: I think i’m in like with you.
  • Hinata: Guess what i’m wearing, the smile you gave me.
  • Kiyoko: I can turn your floppy disk into a hard drive.
  • Yachi: I ship us.
  • Takeda: If I used spell check it would turn you & I into us.
  • Ukai: Do you have a jersey because I need your name and number.
Drabble - Alec Lightwood

REQUEST: 2. “The way you flirt is just shameful.”

Requested by: @fangirldreamsandstuff

Y/N was on her bed, watching a movie with her childhood friend Alec Lightwood. She was thinking about how she could change their relationship. To be something more than just friends.

“Hey, Alec? There is a guy I like.. Can I try my flirting skills with you?”, she asked and smirked.

“Oh god.. okay.”, he sighs.

“Are you parents terrorists? Cause you’re the bomb!”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Really. Y/N. Really?”

“Are you a thief? Cause you stole my heart!”

“Stop it.”

“I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me instead?”

Alec groaned but still laughed hard. “The way you flirt is just shameful.”

“Are you real? .. Cause I love you.”

But this time. It wasn’t a bad Pick-Up Line. This time she meant it. And Alec did notice it. He put the laptop to the side and just looked at her.

“That wasn’t a part of your flirting skills.. am I right?”, he asked her carefully.

She took his hand and moved closer to him. “Look.. I really didn’t want you to find out this way. But it’s true. You don’t have to say it back. I just wanted you to know, alright?”

Alec was silent. Too silent. His hands were by his side and he looked like he’s deep in his thoughts. Who know what he’s thinking about? Maybe he’s analyzing the pros and cons of dating Y/N.

He looked up and then looked straight in her eyes. “.. Is your name Google? Cause you’re everything I’m searching for.”

Y/N looked at him, confused. Then she bursted out laughing. Both of them just laughed. “How can you say something like that in a situation like this?!”, she was still laughing.

“I love you too.”, he then said. “I really do.”

She smiled at him and moved closer to him. She put her hands on both sides of his cheeks. Her forehead was pressed against his. Alec’s hands moved to her hips and pulled her even closer to him. “Can we just kiss now?”, Alec whispered. Y/N nodded and pressed her lips gently on Alec’s soft lips. Their lips moved in sync and it was the most emotional, slow and tender kiss they both ever had.

But that kiss became wilder and the slow kiss was suddenly a fast kiss. Y/N pushed Alec to the bed and gave him small kisses along his jaw. As they lips met each other’s again, they heard a loud noise.

Both of them were breathing hard, as they noticed the laptop on the floor with the broken monitor. “I have a feeling that Isabelle will kill us.”

“Way to ruin the moment.”, Alec said and laughed.

Cheesy PickUp Line Challenge

4,001 of you wonderful souls follow me now 

and I swore to myself I wouldn’t do a challenge with every milestone, but… I’m gonna do one for this.

Below the cut is a list of the cheesiest and somewhat dirty pick-up lines that will serve as prompts for this little celebration.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Omg I fell in love with those child lose headcanons you posted and was wondering if I could get an alpha!soldier having to use his alpha voice on his omega s/o to get them to eat and shower! Thanks! (Love your A/B/O writings to the moon and back 😍)

((Thank you darling anon!! I appreciate that!!))

The whole…incident…had been absolutely soul crushing. You had been thirteen weeks pregnant, your stomach beginning to grow with the promise of young, your scent sweetening a few weeks in to signal that you were truly pregnant. Jack had been so happy, he was so proud of you. He crooned to you and scented you, immediately becoming overprotective of you and the pup or pups that were growing inside of you. Or had been…until a week ago.

Back pain had started to plague you, something that you had mostly ignored despite Jack’s insistent worrying. You had been re-building your nest when the pain had finally dropped you to your knees, your mind frantic as you called Jack to tell him something was wrong. Jack would take this to the grave, but the sounds of your terrified chirping and whining shook him to his core, sending single one of his Alpha instincts into overdrive. He found you in a state that made his blood run hot and cold at the same time; you were sobbing and hyperventilating, keening and whimpering as you sat hugging your middle in the nest, eyes wild when they lifted to look at him.

From there, things had moved in a blur for the both of you; Jack shifting into his Alpha Strike Commander mode while you went terrifyingly numb. He crooned softly, supportively to you, wrapping you in one of the thin sheets from the nest before taking off towards the the medbay.  Angela had made the entire thing sound so damn clinical; unforeseen ‘chromosomal abnormalities’ had ceased the fetus’ development and growth, unfortunately leading to a spontaneous abortion. She continued speaking but the sound of her voice completely tapered off in your mind, your head beginning to shake as her and Jack spoke back and forth about what would need to happen next. Big tears began to roll down your cheeks, no sobs this time, just heart wrenching whines and keens, the scent of your anguish thick and palatable. With Jack unable to calm you, Angela sedated you, the D & C was performed and the both of you were sent home on mandatory mate leave.

You refused to leave the half-built nest you had been in the process of making the day you had lost the baby, a teddy bear for the unknown child pulled tight into your arms. Jack had tried to coax you out with his crooning; the sound comforting and loving but not enough to pull you out of the veil of grief you had so securely wrapped about yourself. You sobbed when his hands would touch you, not pulling away but he could feel the shame roll off of you in waves, silent apologies for losing what you knew the both of you wanted so badly. When all of your tears would completely run out, you’d pass out into fitful, unsettled sleep. That is where you found yourself today.

You woke in the room alone, a sense of panic rising in your system before it was slammed down by the realization that you deserved to be alone. It was your fault that you had lost your pup. If you had been healthier, if you had just seen those signs you could have saved pup and you wouldn’t have failed your Alpha in one of your primary duties. That painful bubble in your chest began to expand again, your knees pulling tighter to your chest as you rubbed at the teddy bear your pup would never get to see. Your body protested that movement, the muscles of your calves tight and achy. You hadn’t left the floor for anything other than the intermittent bathroom run, refusing Jack’s every attempt to feed you or bathe you. You…just couldn’t. He hadn’t pushed you through your grief, he knew that this would take time. But weight was falling off of your already slight frame and quite frankly, you were beginning to smell. Still, you couldn’t find the will to leave the room.

“Y/N…”

Your tense body jumped as Jack’s voice reached your ear but you didn’t look at your Alpha, you couldn’t. Guilt sat heavy in your stomach as you ignored your Alpha, your nose twitching slightly as the scent of broth reached your nose. Your stomach betrayed, growling loudly and reflexively, but you weren’t hungry. You didn’t deserve food anyway.

“Y/N.”

Jack’s voice got a bit more forceful, making you turn your head to look at him, brow furrowed as you sniffed pitifully. You tried to be just as forceful back, rolling your body all the way over to look at him.

“I don’t want to eat”, your tear-logged voice cracking under the strain of using actual words. You shook your head, barely pushing yourself up on one arm, hiccuping softly and fresh tears sprung to your eyes. “I don’t want anything. I don’t…I just don’t want anything. Leave me alone Jack…just leave me alone!”

“Y/N”, Jack said, his voice strong, deep, commanding. He was using his Alpha voice. Your eyes were round as they snapped to his, your body slowly pushing itself up as he moved into the room. Jack’s eyes didn’t leave yours and yours stayed on his, the man carefully sitting next to you, securely holding onto the bowl of soup he had fixed. “You are going to eat. Now open.”

You nodded meekly, unable to ignore the orders of your Alpha in this voice, Jack spooning the warmed chicken broth into your mouth as soon as it opened. The broth was admittedly delicious, light and salty and comforting as it slid down your throat, Jack giving you more as soon as you swallowed the spoonful before. Tears welled up in your eyes as your Alpha took care of you, his silent, unwavering support despite your failings, your unrelenting rebuffs the last few days reminding you of just how much he loved you.

“I’m sorry…”

The spoon paused before it made it to your mouth again, sniffling hard before you swallowed again, tears rolling down your cheeks. Your eyes closed again, body folding over on itself as you began to sob, jumping as you felt Jack’s arms slide around you. For the first time since your mutual, you mourned together. You pressed your face into the side of his neck, breathing in his scent deeply, his deep crooning vibrating through your body as his hands rubbed your back. His cheek rested against the top of your head, his breaths slow and steady, a few tears of his own slipping down his cheeks. Neither one of you could say it now, but deep down you knew that as long as you had the other, things would get better…it would just take time.

EXO Reaction: You’re the new girl and you have a “bad girl” image

Chanyeol: You and your girl group were debuting tonight. Surprisingly, you were the “bad girl” of the group, and you definitely looked the part. Dark clothes, dark makeup, dark hair. Every picture, you had a slight smirk etched onto your face. However, that wasn’t entirely you, and everyone in the company could see that. Especially Chanyeol. Though he absolutely loved when you smirked as you walked by- it drove him absolutely crazy- he also loved the girl behind the look. 

“Y/N!” 

“Yeah, Chan?”

“Good luck tonight!” 

You smirked. “Thanks, Chan.” 

Turning and walking away, you missed the slight blush that crept onto his cheeks and the way he admired your figure as you walked away.

Originally posted by yeollovemebaek

D.O.: He wasn’t sure what to think. You and your girl group would be debuting right after EXO performed and his eyes couldn’t leave you as you laughed and smiled. How did you look so dark, yet act so happy? Nonetheless, he couldn’t help but feel his heart speed up every time you listened to someone talk. Your face would go stony as you listened, completely concentrated on the person addressing you. To put it simply, he found it hot. Very hot. 

“Yah! Soo! Stop staring at Y/N for five minutes and pay attention to the change in choreography.” 

“Yeah, Yixing… okay. Sounds good.” 

Originally posted by awkwardkaisoo

Sehun: Oh man okay here we go. He would be so in love with your image. Honestly, he’d be sneaking small glances at you as soon as you got on stage to practice for the company concert. His eyes wouldn’t leave you during the entire performance. When the choreographer came over to talk to you about possibly changing a move because he felt it didn’t fit with the song, your face became very serious as you nodded your head, absorbing every word he said. That would turn Sehun on to no end. That boy would not miss the chance to flirt with you. However, the flirting would be a little awkward at first because Sehun would be so nervous to talk to you. After a couple of attempts to get you to reply to him, he’d finally get something out of you.

“Hey Y/N. Do you want to play a game?”

You’d sigh, finally giving in to his flirting, even though you secretly loved it. “Sure, Sehun. What game.” 

“Let’s play Titanic. You be the iceberg and I’ll go-”

“SEHUN!”

Originally posted by vane-sky948861

Baekhyun: This boy would waste no time flirting with you. He would absolutely love the look and honestly, he would be a little jealous of how much better your eyeliner was than his. He’d probably try to convince you he was the bad boy of EXO, which would cause you to roll your eyes. He’d be watching you during the performance and would see just how bad you could be. After the concert, he would come up to you and compliment you, finally getting the courage to ask for your number.

“You know, Y/N. If you ever want to be bad, come find me.” 

Originally posted by pangguk

Lay: Lay would have wanted to talk to you ever since he knocked you down. It sounds a lot worse than it was. Lay had been walking into the dorm when you were walking out. Though you were only the new girl, SM had decided your bad girl image could help in EXO’s new music video. As you were leaving after the meeting, Lay was walking into the dorm, back from a shopping trip as it was his week to get the groceries for EXO. He hadn’t been paying attention and had slammed directly into you, knocking you flat on your butt. His momentum had carried him forward and he’d landed on top of you, groceries spilling everywhere, his chest pressed against your face. 

Now, you and your girl group were finished performing your debut song and coming off stage. Lay realized this was his chance to apologize and ask for your number. 

“Hello, I am Yixing and I am very sorry for knocking you over please forgive me I think you are very pretty and your image is very intimidating I MEAN I LIKE IT it’s different and I just wanted to know if I can get your number and maybe take you on a date and if not that’s okay and-”

“Here’s my number. I’m looking forward to that date.” 

Originally posted by laygion

Xiumin: Being one of the oldest, your image wouldn’t intimidate him so much as turn him on. He’d been watching you practice before the company concert in a tight black dress and he couldn’t help but watch the end of it inch up your thighs and cup your butt. You didn’t care; you had spandex shorts on underneath it purely because the dress liked to inch up. But Xiumin didn’t know that. All of the boys noticed him giving you the once-over as you walked past them off of the stage. They all told him to get your number and, finally, he went up to you.

“After the show tonight, do you think I could take you out to celebrate? If your practicing is showing me anything, it’s that you’ll be amazing tonight. Why not celebrate perfection?” 

Originally posted by costa-ricca

Kai: You image had already caught his eye, and your dancing had made him fall in love with you. Not just that, but the way you acted the part of a bad girl. It was amazing. Just as there was a noticeable difference between Kai and Jongin, there was a noticeable difference between “Bad Girl Y/N” and “Y/N”. He couldn’t help but smile as he watched you, and he was planning on getting your number. Now if only he could get the courage to manage that…

Turns out, he didn’t have to get the courage. After three hours of Kai staring at you, you hoped you were picking up on actual signs and decided to ask Kai for his number.

“Here’s my number. Please, use it.”

You left him a blushing, giddy mess. 

Originally posted by krismehard

Suho: Suho would be so into your look. Bad girl with an amazing voice and amazing dancing skills? Sign him up. He’d be a little less noticeable about his crush on you than some of the others would be, but his members would still pick up on it. The way he watched your every move when you performed. The way a small smile made its way onto his face when you laughed. The way he shifted when your gaze landed on him. Though everything he did was subtle, he was definitely into you. It was a total surprise to you when he came up to you. Though you had been doing everything you could to get him to notice you, you didn’t think he’d even realized you were crazy about him. But you were about to find out he was even crazier about you than you were about him.

“Hello, Y/N. I am EXO’s Suho. Welcome to the family. Would you like to go out for dinner with me, to celebrate your debut?” 

You nodded and Suho was so relieved he hugged you before pulling away shuffling his feet before handing you his phone, indicating he wanted your number. After you’d given it to him, he smiled shyly and turned away to hide the grin inching its way onto his face. 

Originally posted by wintershower

Chen: At first, Chen wouldn’t be too into the look. He thought the image was who you were and that was why SM had chosen to give it to you. However, in the months of training, he’d gotten to see different sides of you. You and your girl group were only given four months before your debut to train. It was an insane task, but somehow you’d managed, with only three mental breakdowns. Chen had been there to comfort you your first breakdown. You’d been so embarrassed; you didn’t even personally know this hot adorable guy and suddenly he had his arm around you. However, Chen was grateful he’d found you during your mental breakdown. As odd as it sounded, it had been the thing to make him fall in love with you. Still, he loved to tease you about how little time you had to prepare.

“You know, Y/N, if you mess up, my arms will always be open.”

“No they won’t Chen.”

“I’m serious Y/N. I was ju-”

“No, I mean they will be crossed over your chest. Stop making me nervous asshole.” 

Originally posted by rxxbinc

Luhan: Luhan is manly. He would LOVE your image. To be blunt, it would turn him on. His only problem would be getting to know you. Sure, he always saw you around, but you were always surrounded by people, whether it be some of your members, choreographers, vocal coaches, or friends. He finally got his lucky break when you went to get your makeup done for your debut. Luhan ran after you to reach you before you disappeared into the dressing room. Tapping your shoulder, you jumped, turning. As you turned, his fingers brushed against your exposed skin on your stomach. He pulled back and looked down, shrugging his shoulders before looking up at you again and smiling sweetly. 

“I apologize for scaring you. You are just so beautiful and I wanted to wish you luck with your performance tonight. Please, come find me afterwards.” 

Originally posted by parkchny

Tao: Tao would act like a complete dork around you. Your image had defiantly caught his attention, and he was going to let you know that. For weeks before your debut he’d been trying to get your attention, whether it was through his dancing or rapping or even his style. He’d heard you say in passing that you loved when guys rolled up the sleeves on button down shirts. The next day, you’d never guess what he wore. He thought you hadn’t noticed him, but you had. Of course you had. He was absolutely hot adorable, and you could see the effort he put into getting you to notice him. Finally, he got up the courage to try to talk to you, though it didn’t go exactly as planned, as he kept stumbling over his words and blushing.

“Wow, okay, can I start over?”

You laughed. “Of course.”

“Can I have your number?”

“See! That was easy. Here.”

“I know it was easy. I just wanted to make you feel more comfortable.” 

Originally posted by laygion

Kris: Totally. His. Style. He would low-key stalk you until he finally got up the courage to flirt with you. Kris is such a flirt. He’d try to be cool and wow you with terrible pick up lines. You’d find it amusing and even start to write down in a notebook all of the pick up lines he told you. Some of your favorites were: 

Are you Google? Because you have everything I’m searching for.

I went to the doctor today he said I was lacking in vitamin u.

I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me instead? 

Finally, he got the courage to simply ask for your number.

“Did you finally run out of pickup lines?”

“No, I figured it was time to stop playing games and just ask the girl of my dreams out.”

Originally posted by bring-back-my-chicken

—-

Request something! 

a lot of horrible great pickup lines that never always work!
(compiled with assistance from friends, the internet (especially these guys), and myself)

  • are you a cigarette because you got a hot butt
  • you turn my software into hardware
  • am i dead because you must be an angel
  • are you shampoo with moroccan oil because you’re giving me body
  • your dad must be a baker, because you got some nice buns
  • are you a mophie case because you’re giving me extra juice
  • help me! i’m lost! can you give me directions to our bedroom?
  • are you homosexual tendencies because i don’t want to tell anyone about you until i’m ready
  • what is that in your eye? oh yeah it’s a twinkle
  • i’m gonna need a library card because i’m checking you out
  • are you lady gaga because you make my (he)artpop
  • are you a pokemon because i wanna pikachu
  • are you an easter basket because i wanna hold your eggs
  • are you a fast food sandwich because you’d be a mcgorgeous
  • are you roadkill because i wanna take you home for dinner
  • are you caffeine because i can’t go a day without you
  • that outfit looks great on you but i think that i’d look better on you
  • are you from tennessee because you’re the only ten i see
  • are you gluten free because i want your glutes on me
  • are you big bang theory because my parents love you
  • are you earwax because i can’t get you out of my head
  • are you the movie chicago because i watch you a lot
  • are you a nun because you are nun like any other
  • you must be starbucks because i crave you five times a day
  • i lost my teddy bear! can i sleep with you?
  • if i was a superhero, i wouldn’t be batman, superman, or iron man, i’d be your man
  • did you feel this shirt? it’s boyfriend (girlfriend) material
  • my love for you is like diarrhea, it is out of control
  • are you a palm tree because i am coco-nuts about you
  • are you the new mariokart because i want you so bad
  • are you megan fox because you’re hot
  • are you a bunny because you hopped your way into my heart
  • if you were a fruit you’d be a fineapple
  • did you invent the airplane because you seem wright for me
  • do you have a band-aid because i just scraped my knee falling for you
  • are you an interior decorator because when I saw you the entire room became beautiful
  • are you religious because you’re the answer to all my prayers
  • did you sit in a pile of sugar because you have a pretty sweet ass
  • your body is 65% water and i’m thirsty
  • my doctor says i’m lacking vitamin u
  • can i follow you home because my parents always told me to follow my dreams
  • did we take a class together because i could’ve sworn we had chemistry
  • was your dad a boxer because you’re a knockout
  • you’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line
  • if i had a star for every time you brightened my day i’d have a galaxy in my hand
  • if being sexy was a crime you’d be guilty as charged
  • i was wondering if you had an extra heart because mine seems to have been stolen
  • if you were a vegetable you’d be a cu(te)cumber
  • if I were a cat I’d spend all nine lives with you
  • do you work at starbucks because i like you a latte
  • are you a banana because i find you appealing
  • did you read dr. seuss as a kid because green eggs and damn
  • is your dad a drug dealer because you’re so dope
  • me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces, andasentencewithoutspaces
  • your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon
  • most people like to watch the olympics because they only happen once every 4 years but i’d rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime
  • i must be a snowflake because i’ve fallen for you
  • there’s something wrong with my cell phone; it doesn’t have your number in it
  • if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print
  • do you work at dick’s because you’re sporting the goods
  • you must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room
  • i’d like to invite you over, but i’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill
  • excuse me, but i think i dropped something, my jaw
  • if you were a booger i’d pick you first
  • if i were to ask you out on a date would your answer be the same as the answer to this question
  • if this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib
  • are you lost because heaven is a long way from here
  • are you a campfire because you are hot and i want s’more
  • you’re kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind
  • put down that cupcake because you’re sweet enough already
  • you’re so fine you make me stutter wha-wha-what’s your name
  • when I first saw you I looked for a signature because every masterpiece has one
  • i like legos you like legos why don’t we build a relationship
  • i might not be sriracha sauce but i sure will spice up your life
  • are you jewish because you israeli hot
  • you may be asked to leave soon because you’re making all the other (wo)men look bad
  • are you chapstick because i wanna rub you all over my mouth
  • did you just fart because you just blew me away and the whole room smells really bad
  • LOVE ME
2

Not my gif. Gif credit goes to the amazing creators!


Anonymous said: could you write a Cora Hale x female reader imagine where they are cuddlig and the pack walk in on the but they have fallen asleep


A/N: Heya, lovely! Of course I can do this one for you! I really love Cora Hale, so this was really enjoyable for me to write! Please enjoy what I have come up with, and thanks so so sooo much for your request! - Admin Kat 💟


Imagine: Cuddling with Cora Hale and falling asleep, only for the pack to walk in to find the pair of you curled up together.


 All of your awareness had been gulped up ferociously by the warm strong arms that encased you comfortably. The duo’s breathing was sweetly tranquil, growing more soothed by the moment as you both drifted off to a slumber so peaceful, it was almost unheard of. Untrue.
 The pack shuffled in, one by one, as boisterous as ever; However, there was nothing in all of reality that could disturb the pair of you, snuggled on the couch in Derek’s loft. “Whoa!” Isaac interrupts the blabbering of the pack; and his stillness, silence, is mimicked by each member of the pack.
 Derek’s brows perked up with true interest at his little sister snuggled next to your peaceful being, arms wrapped around you like her long-lost teddy-bear from her infant years. A sneaky simper drew across his face as he lifted up his phone, snapping a picture.
 "What’re you doing?“ Stiles hissed at Derek, in fear of Cora’s wrath.
 "Getting my black mail material.” Derek grinned ruthlessly.


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Chat up my muse
  • “I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?”
  • “Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I?”
  • “ Is there a mirror in your pants…? I think I can see myself in them..”
  • “ I don’t suppose you know the number for the Ordinance survey?…I want to tell them I have found a Sight of outstanding natural beauty.”
  • “Given that god is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite, would you like a shag?”
  • “Hi, can I buy you several drinks”
  • “Are you from Tenesse? Cause your the only ten I see”
  • Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you"
  • “ My friend thinks you’re hot, and if it’s any consolation so do I.”
  • “I can’t find my puppy - can you help me find him? I think he went into this secluded, romantic area here….”
  • “I’m not drunk, i’m just intoxicated by you.”
  • “I thought I’d come over and say hello before you caught me staring.”
  • “What’s a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?”
  • “My friends over there bet that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the fittest person in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?”
  • “I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?”
  • “ I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.”
  • “You’re like a cappuccino: hot, sweet, and you make me nervous.”
  • “Keep it quiet - but I’m COMPLETELY naked under these clothes.”
  • “I have a pen, you have a phone number… think of the possibilities..”