lost drivers

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”

The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years”.

2

Adam Driver lost 51lbs (23 kilos) for Silence.

“…You’re waking up three times a night to go the bathroom because you’re taking these water pills to drop weight.”

“I didn’t do it to get attention, it was for the story!”


Domhnall Gleeson lost a lot of weight for Unbroken.

“My contact lenses stopped fitting my eyes, because I was so dehydrated and had lost so much weight that everything had changed.”

“…But I think if you have the choice of two extra pounds of body fat but full performance, then I’ll go for performance.”

4

Adam Driver as Kylo Ren in Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

And again PS crapped out and froze on me mid set, so it seems there’s another half assed attempt of making some quality. Honestly I’m at the end of my tether, I’m thinking of reverting back to good ol’ CS4 at this point. Sorry. Thank the Force he’s pretty.

Me @ a Drivers Test
  • Me: *looks nervous*
  • Driving teacher: are you nervous?
  • Me: yeah
  • Driving teacher: how come?
  • Me:
  • I should never be trusted to drive a vehicle of any kind; not because I am a lousy driver, but because I tighten my grip of the wheel with every passing truck. I look in the newspaper every day for that one headline of a car crash where they simply don’t know what happened. Maybe the driver lost control of the car. Suffered a seizure. Was trying to dodge a child running across the street. Something to explain why his car and insides ended up painting the front of a Canadian frozen goods truck on its way from Montreal to Detroit.

The average L.A. driver lost more than 100 hours and more than $2,400 in fuel and productivity last year.

Cheap gas and a surging economy are taxing the nation’s roads and contributing to congestion that cost U.S. motorists almost $300 billion last year in wasted time and fuel, according to a new report.

Los Angeles had the worst traffic in the world among the 1,064 cities studied by transportation analytics firm INRIX. The average driver wasted 104 hours sitting in gridlock during the busiest commuting times last year, and lost $2,408 each in squandered fuel and productivity.

You: i ship ryden

Me, an intellectual: I should never be trusted to drive a vehicle of any kind; not because I am a lousy driver, but because I tighten my grip of the wheel with every passing truck. I look in the newspaper every day for that one headline of a car crash where they simply don’t know what happened. Maybe the driver lost control of the car.

If you promote your best forklift driver to a supervisor, you now have a sub-par supervisor and you’ve lost your best forklift driver.
—  The Servant, James Hunter
  • Me driving for the first time: I should never be trusted to drive a vehicle of any kind; not because I am a lousy driver, but because I tighten my grip of the wheel with every passing truck. I look in the newspaper every day for that one headline of a car crash where they simply don’t know what happened. Maybe the driver lost control of the car. Suffered a seizure. Was trying to dodge a child running across the street. Something to explain why his car and insides ended up painting the front of a Canadian frozen goods truck on its way from Montreal to Detroit.

Finally, as a funny little something, this time we have this.
A great work by DesKmaster that makes you remember a line from the song
Q&A by B’z: “We can trust you if we get lost—can’t we, driver?
The driver this time is sure a pro, trust him ~_^

[ DesKmaster on PIXIV ] [ DesKmaster on TWITTER ]

10

some of my favorite movie soundtracks (part I)

one from the heart by tom waits and crystal gayle
taxi driver by bernard herrmann
shaft by isaac hayes
twin peaks: fire walk with me by angelo badalamenti and david lynch
chinatown by jerry goldsmith
lost in translation by various artists (my bloody valentine, jesus and the mary chain, air)
palo alto by devonte haynes and robert schwartzman
rushmore by various artists (the kinks, cat stevens, yves montand, mark mothersbaugh)
submarine by alex turner
where the wild things are by karen o and the kids

My little car is the best

I don’t take nearly good enough care of it, but twice in two months now, it has gotten me out of stupid near-accidents I got myself into.

The first I already wrote about. I overshot a turn, skid on ice, and managed to yank my wheel just enough that I slid between a telephone pole and a stop sign instead of hitting the pole dead-on. I was shaken. My poor baby has scratches and a dent on the driver’s side wheel-well.

Today, I was driving in the dark. Lights on. The person ahead of me had been riding their brakes for the last block or so. Then I suddenly realize, they’re not riding their brakes anymore. They’re at a full fucking stop!

I slam on the brakes. I can feel the anti-locks fighting, but I keep that foot down. My bag tumbles to the ground. I pray “Dear God, do not let me be the guilty party in a rear-ending!”. And my little baby- blessed be her brakes- stops. I barely pull against the seatbelt. And there is no tap, no little jerk, no contact made with the car in front of me and I thank God for saving me from a second stupid mistake in two days (and for the second near miss in two months).

And then the asshole turns on their turn signal.

This weekend, I’m taking my little kia to a full service car wash and armor-all-ing and detailing the fuck out of her. She deserves it. Deserves to have the dents knocked out and her paint touched up, too, but I’m still on a budget.

I hate the drivers in this city. And I’m terrified I’m becoming one of them.

you: i shouldnt be allowed to drive

me, an intellectual:
I should never be trusted to drive a vehicle of any kind; not because I am a lousy driver, but because I tighten my grip of the wheel with every passing truck. I look in the newspaper every day for that one headline of a car crash where they simply don’t know what happened. Maybe the driver lost control of the car. Suffered a seizure. Was trying to dodge a child running across the street. Something to explain why his car and insides ended up painting the front of a Canadian frozen goods truck on its way from Montreal to Detroit.

I’ve had just four really close friends - among the drivers - in all the years I’ve been racing. Billy Foster, who I knew well for a couple of years, was killed in a NASCAR accident at Riverside in ‘67. Then Lucien Bianchi and I were very close. I always use to stay with him when I came to Europe, and we drove together at Le Mans one year. He was killed there in ‘69 in a testing accident.

And the other two were Gunnar Nilsson and Ronnie Peterson. Gunnar’s illness…you just find it hard to accept something like that can happen so quickly to a man so young. You know, teammates aren’t necessarily friends. It happens or it doesn’t. Gunnar was such a loose, extrovert kind of a guy you couldn’t help but get along with him, but Ronnie was different, quiet and reserved. He took more getting to know. I mean, we’d known each other for years, but only when we became teammates did we really become close friends. For all his reserve, he had a really great, dry sense of humour.

There’s such a hole in motor racing now, and it’ll never be filled, no question about it.

—  Mario Andretti
3

“If you kept up the gangster shit and scared away any of my customers, I would’ve had to mess up my wall again.”

She didn't realize tapping him on the shoulder would make him do this.

A lady in a taxi leaned forward to ask the driver a question. She gently tapped his shoulder to get his attention.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab and nearly hit a bus. He drove over the curb, almost going through a shop window.

For a few moments the inside of the cab was silent. The shaken driver turned and said, “Are you ok? I’m very sorry, but you scared the piss out of me!”

The passenger, very startled at this point, apologizes to the driver and says “I didn’t realize a mere tap on the shoulder could scare some one so bad”

The driver replied “no, no, I’m the one who is sorry, today is my first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for over 20 years!”