lost but not forever

I that I’m lost, who will find me
Deep down below the old beach tree
Help succour me now the east winds blowing
Sixteen by six. Brother. And under we go!

Be not afraid to walk in the shade
Save one. Save all. Come try!
My steps - five by seven
Life is closer to heaver
Look down with dark gaze. from on high.

Before he was gone
Right back over my kill
Who now will find him?
Why, nobody will
Doom shall i bring to him. I that am queen lost forever. Nine by nineteen.

Without your love, he’ll be gone before.
Save pity for strangers, show love the door.
My soul seek the shade of my willow’s bloom inside. Brother mine- let death make a room.

—  Euros Holmes, Riddle/Song

he’s just seen you walk in with your new boyfriend but knows he’s lost you forever.

Made with Vine

3 of 22

Standing in front of the dresser Nova twisted the ring around her finger. It was hard to believe it had been a year since Spencer found her family bringing back a little piece of what she thought was lost forever.

She could hear the joyful bubble of her kids playing together in the other room. Lennox had taken to being a big brother well. Always doting on his little sister and brother. She looked at her reflection. She had celebrated her twenty-sixth birthday two days ago. Not bad she though for a mother of three who could literally drop dead any day.

She held her hand up inspecting the ring Spencer had given her a week after Jacek had been born. As always a smile tugged at her lips remembering how sweet his proposal had been. She had said yes, how could she not? He had done so much for her. Given up so much for her. Always in the back of her mind was the image of him and Elara in the garden. Did he love Elara more than her? Did she love him?

The questions went round and round in her head. Most importantly what did she want? Did she love Spencer enough to want to marry him? Did she love him as much or more than Noah? Was she marrying him because it was what she felt she had to do? Out of some sense of gratitude? She had to get some answers before she said I do.

Alright, it’s just hitting me - Neverland freezes time to keep the lost boys on the cusp of adulthood forever, the Dark Realm speeds time up to thrust the stolen babies into adulthood.

Rumple’s father surrounded himself with children who were willing to fight for him, and Rumple’s mother could be raising her own army with babies she’s stolen.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.