lost art project

we’ve always taken shelter in our unhelpable pride

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JESUS THIS TOOK A WHILE TO MAKE

hashimada-scrapbook  asked:

Howdy, Holly! Could you talk more about your "Lost on You" verse? Gosh, I love your angst! :D

Wow, man am I late with this ask. Holidays stole me away xD

The “Lost on you” project is based on LP’s song Lost On You.

“When you get older, plainer, saner
When you remember all the danger we came from
Burning like embers, falling, tender
Long before the days of no surrender
Years ago and well you know

[…]

Let’s raise a glass or two
To all the things I lost on you
Tell me are they lost on you?
Just that you could cut me loose
After everything I’ve lost on you
Is that lost on you?
Is that lost on you?
Baby is that lost on you?
Is that lost on you?

Wishing I could see the machinations
Understand the toil of expectations in your mind
Hold me like you never lost your patience
Tell me that you love me more than hate me all the time
And you’re still mine”

I feel like this song depicts very well how Tobirama might feel towards Hashirama. Another inspiration comes from @blackkatmagic‘s fic As Is The Sea Marvelous (chapter 1): 

“Tobirama wonders, sometimes, if Hashirama forgets that Tobirama grew up in the same world as he did, if he overlooks the fact that Tobirama once held that dream of peace just as dear. Does he think he and Madara are the only ones who lost brothers, who grieved? Because Itama and Kawarama were his blood, too, and he loved them just as dearly as Hashirama did. He saw them buried, mourned alone and in silence because he was their father’s pride and not allowed to show weakness. And while Hashirama disappeared to skip rocks across the river in company of their enemy, Tobirama remained, the focus of Butsuma’s will. He became the soldier Hashirama wouldn’t, killed all the small bits of childishness that his brother clung to, and never once voiced a word of complaint.Always, always Hashirama looks at Tobirama, sees the perfect shinobi their father wanted, and despairs.Always, always he forgets that Tobirama became what he wouldn’t, couldn’t, and in doing so gave Hashirama as much freedom as he could.”

Hence my comic, which is going to be divided into two parts: childhood and adulthood.
The first three sketches are from the first part, where we see the sacrifices Tobirama makes as he grows up, how he trains and forges himself into a cold sword so that he can do the things Hashirama can’t won’t do.
The fourth is from the second part, where Tobirama comes home bloody and tired, sees Hashirama, reaches for him - and Hashirama turns his back on him and instead goes to Madara in the sunlight, leaving his younger brother in the shadows. Tobirama’s hand, the one that had been reaching for Hashirama, falls, curling into a fist. Yet, he still follows Hashirama, many steps behind, his head low.