lost and found in armenia

Lost & Found in Armenia

SO my family finally decided to watch this movie.. if you’re worried about spoilers, just ignore this post :) 

Long-story short, the movie tells a story about an American guy who goes to Turkey for a vacation, goes parasailing, rope snaps, and he ends up shooting all the way to Armenia. There, he lands in a village where everyone thinks he’s a Azeri-Turk spy. lolz. Fitting. 

Anyways, my first comment is that I can’t imagine Americans getting the same level of pleasure from this movie that Armenians would. First of all, so many of the funny Armenian dialogues were translated horribly. So if you don’t know Armenian, you miss out on most of the funny parts. 

  1. I liked how the movie made fun of everyone. Turks, Azeris, and Armenians. It wasn’t just a total hate session. The fun was poked at everyone. But seeing Azeri soldiers playing leap frog with just two people made me laugh a lot. Like WTF how do you come up with something so random like that? 
  2. How did they manage to capture all of the horrible things that could happen in Armenia? First, they commented about technology and the lack thereof for some older people. Armenian courtship, courtship failure and the godforsaken “kidnapping” thing. OKAY. That whole axchik paxtsnel thing pisses me off on a level that most of nature never gets to see. For the men who think that they can actually get away with that– ugh don’t get me started. Let’s just say that when I rule the world I will designate a “Guantanamo Bay” type of facility for those assholes and their affiliates who try to kidnap the girls they want. You best believe that if they survive my torturing they might consider becoming monks or eunuchs. NO MEANS NO. 
  3. Moving on, I thought it was funny that everyone in the armenian village was prepared with huge rifles and camouflage equipment to combat “spies.” They weren’t even like small pistols–they were freakin’ AK-47s and shit. Big-ass weapons. I thought that was funny. 
  4. The neighbor interactions were hilarious. The grandpa was hilarious. The mayor and his family MAKES ME WANT TO JUST DIE IF THERE ARE ACTUAL BOSHAS LIKE THAT. Please God, I am begging you, don’t make my future family that way. The homemade vodka was fitting, which I am very familiar with because my maternal grandma is from Ijevan and I proudly consider myself the granddaughter of an Ijevansi–we do that shit in our village too. SO BOOYAH TO MOONSHINE. 
  5. The Terminator in Armenian. The dedication to watch it. Made me chuckle. “Who is stronger, Bruce Lee or Arnold Schwarzneggar?” —“Your mom.” LOLZ. Please… I just can’t. 
  6. The serious part about Azeris capturing Armenians and raping them was actually a sobering moment. There will be a separate wing in my special Guantanamo for rapists. And Ani’s little moment at the graveyard about protecting our lands from Muslim countries. That was pretty sobering too. Got my Armenian blood flowing and boiling with patriotic passion. 
  7. I’m pleasantly surprised that they didn’t make Ani jump for the first opportunity to go to America with Bill. It really sent a message that not all Armenian women are thirsty to jump out of the country and leave everything and everyone for the El Dorado that is America. It was nice (maybe slightly unrealistic considering what’s going on right now with massive emigration attempts) but still nice nevertheless. 
  8. Did anyone else laugh until they cried when the grandpa tried to learn the word “war” and said “vor”? Immaturity level of mine just increased about 10% lol 

Otherwise, it was very entertaining. Like I said, I think it was more funny for Armenians than Americans. But it was a cool mix. Jaime Kennedy (the American man) really interacted with the Armenians in a hilarious fashion. Loved it. If you haven’t watched it, just do it. Torrenting movies is okay if they refuse to bring that said film to your city. Total fair game.