loss of feelings

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If ever there was a time,
To let go, do yoga, and breathe,
This most certainly is it.
For I can fly,
Like an eagle on high,
Or throw up my hands and quit.

Such is the nature of these times, eh?! Even without the solar eclipse we are looking at INTENSE energy pulsating through the heartmind of the collective conscious and unconscious! Like some game right out of the Olympics, the stakes are high, the pressure is high, the thrill can be high, and the losses can feel devastating. Hence the need for each of us to be “in the zone,” just like the super star that you are!

Metaphor Theory (Collateral Damage spoilers)

I just want to put my theory from the last post a little bit more elegantly as it felt a little messy in the last post;

1. The possum statue is how the people of Echo Creek view Marco.

2. Star destroying the statue is Marco coming out and that image of Marco the people of Echo Creek had being destroyed.

3. The new possum statue is Marco when they transition, the same but different.

4. The reactions of the people of Echo Creek, suffering grief due to losing a piece of their history being a metaphor for the grief they feel at the loss of Marco, feeling they aren’t the same person and that their history with Marco as a male is somehow invalidated.

5. Marco hides in their locker from the craziness of people’s reactions. Marco hides in the closet to hide from the reactions of the people of Echo Creek.

6. Star coming in at the end and showing the people of Echo Creek their history is still as valid as before perhaps alluding to Star coming in, in a future episode if Marco does ever come out and showing the people of Echo Creek Marco is still the same person and their history with Marco is still as valid as before.

Also an idea that came up while I was rewriting point 2, maybe point 2 is alluding to Star possibly accidentally outing Marco. As far as we know she is the only resident of Echo Creek, with the exception of the Diaz’s and StarFan13 who know about Princess Marco.

If you’re overweight and you’re eating healthy food, people will not take you seriously (because they expect that eating healthy food means you should have the perfect “fitness” body already, and if you don’t have it yet, clearly you haven’t succeeded or some shit).

If you’re skinny and eating healthy, people will be “concerned” for you because you need to gain weight.

If you’re overweight and you have a treat (that you counted in your macros and calories) or even a cheat meal that you’re aware of, they’ll ask if you’re sure you should be eating that… because won’t one meal hinder your weight loss? (and if you previously felt good about eating it because you know life is about balance, you begin to feel skeptical).

If you’re skinny and you work out, they will tell you that you don’t need to… because exercise is only for weight loss, apparently, and not strength.

If you’re overweight and you work out, people will not take you seriously (see first point) and they will always try to correct you because they will assume you don’t know what you’re doing.

tldr; people don’t know your goals, they don’t know your progress and they don’t know your body. You will be judged whether you choose to go for that salad or if treat yourself and go with the fries. You will be judged whether you’ve just started your weight loss journey or are ¾ of the way there. You will be judged whether you want to lose weight or if you’re happy with the way you are. trust your body and your goals, and do it for yourself x

So apparently Mike Pence tried to go to a Hamilton show tonight.

There are reports that they had to stop songs at some points because of all the booing and yelling from the audience. (“when your people say they hate you ” and “immigrants - we get the job done” seem to have been big moments.) Talk about walking into the lion’s den.

I have to wonder what made Pence want to see this show. Like, how much did he know about it beforehand? Just that it was popular and about a Founding Father? How much did he know about the casting and why it was done that way, the message it’s meant to send? How much did he know about the style of music? Did he have *any idea* what he was getting into?

4

Finally got the courage to buy new jeans today. And I went from a Juniors 15 and 17 which is probably a women’s 16. To a woman’s size 6. 😭🎉😁💪🏾 Hard work definitely pays off and I’m nowhere near done.

HW/SW: 202lbs
CW: 167lbs
GW: 145lbs
Height: 5'2

10

The Doctor Donna

I Love You

I love you,
Words I can’t tell you
I love you,
Words you won’t say
I love you,
My feelings repressed
I love you,
Your heart - it’s no longer mine
I love you,
I scream in my mind
I love you,
You said goodbye
I love you,
I’ll never hear you say
I love you,
“I’m sorry”, you say
I love you,
I could only watch you walk away

I don’t now why I’m holding on to you

There is nothing to hold on to

I use to be scared of losing you

I think I still am somehow

Like if I let you go then I officially lost you

If I just hold on to every little memory

Maybe you’ll come back

But I know you won’t

And that’s even scarier

—  Lily Evangeline