loss of face

Her returning had been fraught with the most soul wrenching of losses~ and now she was faced with her greatest test yet. Could she stand in the fire of her burning heart~the embers flickering while the past and shattered world blazed behind her? No words could stop what had begun~all stood still in awe. Even the non-believers opened their sleeping eyes. Soon love would find all treasures in her fiery wings.
—  Angelica Perman

The Doctor Donna

two years ago today i decided i was sick and tired of looking and feeling like a giant bloated walrus so i decided i had to change. i was just shy of 300 pounds. i couldn’t walk up the stairs without getting out of breath. the thought of exercising made me want to cry. i would eat 2-3 large plates of just pasta in one sitting and had zero idea about nutrition or anything. i’d constantly be made fun of, none of my clothes fit, i couldn’t dress the way i wanted to, and i just really really hated the way i looked and felt. 

since then, i joined the gym, and learned to love it. the gym is now what i’d consider my happy place. i love exercising. i love lifting weights, i love doing blogilates videos, i love swimming, hell, i’ve even learned to love cardio. i’ve learned what foods make my body feel good, and how to eat so i can still have treats and yummy things as well as healthy foods that make me feel great inside and out! i’ve lost 60+ pounds (it’s probably more around 70 lbs now, but i can never remember to weigh myself), lost 10+ inches all around, i can wear a size 14-16 now instead of an 18 (at one point i even had to wear a size 20 pair of jeans). i can wear the clothes i want to. i can lift things that weigh more than 2 pounds and i actually enjoy it!!! 

even though i still have “fat” moments and feel gross about myself, and moments where i still think i’m the size of the first picture, i think about how far i’ve truly come in only 2 years, and i realize that i’ve never felt so good about myself??? i still have a long ways to go to reach all my end goals, but i’m actually excited and hopeful about that now rather than feeling like i was going to be a 300 pound lardo for the rest of my life!!! 

if you’ve been thinking about taking the first steps to change your life and get healthier, whether it be losing weight, gaining weight, gaining muscle, or eating healthier, take this as a sign!!! start now!! JUST DO IT! your body will thank you, YOU will thank you.


Just a post to congratulate myself for keeping off my 55 pound weight loss for a year now. This last year hasn’t been easy for me… it was actually pretty tough. Honestly, in some ways, maintaining my weight was a lot harder than losing it ever was… all I can say is that you have to find the motivation from within… and I am never going back :)
As I enter into 2017, I hope to continue to grow and learn to love myself and treat my body the best way I can 💖

Weight loss blog entry type thing. As of today I have lost 35.5 pounds. I’m shocked by how motivated I’ve become, not only in this, but in everything I’ve been doing. I’ve become a passionate and hard worker, I care way more about the world around me, and I’m making huge strides to make my life better. I hope I can lose the remaining 35-50 pounds with the love and support of my peers, I’m so ready to look in the mirror and see the final fruits of my labour! Please don’t be discouraged if you’re trying to lose weight! Hang in there!