Not that I don’t think of you every single day but last night I allowed myself to wonder through memories quietly.
It occurred to me that you’ve been gone nearly a year now. Time has been strange.
I still feel the numbness of shock and blood draining from my face when I remember that day.
How everything instantly slowed to a crawl and sound stopped completely.
I remember glancing around, the whole world was in slow motion to me. I could hear the rush of my own pulse in my head and wondered why Id never noticed it before.
Then the inevitable punch in the lungs and I couldn’t breathe. Everything amplified and caught up. The speed of the world regained its momentum, as I involuntarily dropped to my knees. I’ll never forget those moments.
It’s still difficult to even think about a life cut so short. Your life.
My eyes always burn and my throat tightens at just the thought of you.
Last night, I felt angry that the world was still living their lives without even a pause. Didn’t anyone else notice?
Then a trickle of fear; because if the world didn’t even hiccup when you decided to leave us and you were such a wonderful person, then what’s going to happen when each of us are gone.
Will it be to the world like we never existed too? Will it even matter if no one even knows?
Then, I guess I thought that as long as I think of you, then you’ll not be forgotten. We all will fade from existence, memories and fleeting thoughts eventually but as long as I breathe , it won’t happen to you yet.
You made your mark. Maybe not on the whole world but you made one on mine.
..and I’ll never forget you.