Whenever I see a picture of me (taken by someone else) my first reaction is to be sad and ashamed, mostly because my body doesn’t look the way I want, or it doesn’t look like what I see in the mirror, or it doesn’t fit with the image I have of myself inside my brain. And then my head gets invaded by all these negative and destructive thoughts. I preach and preach about being body positive but I don’t apply any of these concepts on myself. So then I’m like okay? This is me? No posing, no standing up straight, no sucking in my stomach, no sticking my butt out, no nice background, just me? Is that so fucking terrible? NO👏🏽 IT 👏🏽IS 👏🏽NOT👏🏽 this is me. Time to embrace that.


Got tagged by @lifeisfitness for six selfies, so here’s me and my basic ass with the dog filter, our family trip to the snow, basic gym selfie, my parents bathroom, sick calf pump selfie, and my sons crazy hair from waking up after nap time😂
so I tag @foodieallen @suburbangains @sunalwaysshining @losinginches @bluntsweightsandgrapes @s-assysquats @jewsquats @dark-barbie @jackedjill @swoleginger @trainhardrunfast


So apparent I’m pretty small now. 😂😂😂😂
212 again and I feel like I never started.

So now it’s a Monday, perfect day to start again?
I’m gonna do GVT, I’ve done it before, but ignored cardio and put on weight fast and subsequently literally couldn’t run.
So this time I’m gonna do 2 miles every rest day.
With a swim day/pool pt on Wednesday.
Gonna track the progress over the 6 weeks.

Goals: visibly bigger CHEST!,Shoulders and traps. Wider and thicker legs..

I’m roughly 212 again so getting back to 220 of lean mass would be nice.
222 lbs was always fun.

So here’s to a new start and looking in the mirror and seeing progress.

I FINALLY have my surgery date, all!

It’s April 13th. 

I thought I would never get it and was originally given a date that would keep me in the hospital when I planned to be out of town. (I got the call Friday,3 days ago) 

The program director herself called me because I told my therapist I needed to figure out how to fix it because the scheduler that called me was very dismissive of me and I was at work at the time. 

That was fixed today in the matter of just a few hours. 

I am overjoyed but, if I’m being completely honest,I’m certain I’ll be skeptical of all the proceedings until I wake up from surgery in April.


Originally posted by mrsimpsonweb

Monday, February 8th,2016 (3:40pm)

10 pounds a month

I’m over with setting impossible goals for myself to meet. I’m done with hoping that one day I’ll wake up and it will be an automatic transformation! So I’ve set a more realistic goal for myself, I’ve realized that within my journey to get to my dream body I need to re-find myself, I need to gain back the confidence I had in high school when I was smaller. I’m going to be starting college soon for early childhood education and I really wanted to do it online so I didn’t have to face people. So I could hide in my house cause the thought of sitting in a room with a bunch
of people I don’t know frightens me it gives me anxiety. Then my mom reminded that’s how I’m going to make friends. So I set a goal to lose 10 pounds by Christmas and I’m going to take that to 10 pounds a month. If  go with this goal in one year I’ll have dropped 120 pounds! My goal weight is to get to 150 which is 80.2 pounds I have to lose, I’ve already
come to the realization that Ill never be a size double 0 and I’m ok with that. I just rather be healthy, not have back pain,not get out of breath so easily and feel comfortable. Anyway so I’m going to weigh in on Thursdays and once a month take my measurements. Sometimes you need to see how many inches you’ve dropped to keep the motivation.

Day 30 is finally here dude! I have so much to say which probably won’t end up being much. I want to start off by saying that I am really proud of myself. For the past 30 days, I have thought about giving up but didn’t. I remember why I am doing this, I want to love myself. Never in my life have I been excited to step on the scale until today. I know now that my weight is not the real thing to be concerned about but my inches are what is important. Between day 11-21 I lost almost 5 inches from my hips,legs, chest and arms. In 10 days!!! In 30 days I lost 5.4 pounds going from 170 to 164.6 pounds. But you wanna know what I see my body changing into a lean mean fighting machine! The pounds don’t mean a thing to me!!! On day 41 I will measure again till then I will be kicking ass and taking names ( of my dreams that I will continue to chase and make come true!! ).