losing someone

I mean. A lot of su-critical blogs seem to hate lapis but I found her relatable for a long time. I wish they hadn’t left her character development in the lurch after having her meet peridot (bad execution op). They should have done something with either jasper or bismuth, because character dev isn’t a solo thing. There’s lots they could have done with her character, but they took out all her connections. Now, I guess, she’s got nothing.

I don’t now why I’m holding on to you

There is nothing to hold on to

I use to be scared of losing you

I think I still am somehow

Like if I let you go then I officially lost you

If I just hold on to every little memory

Maybe you’ll come back

But I know you won’t

And that’s even scarier

—  Lily Evangeline
I wish you had met me when I still had that light in my eyes, that love was something I desired and didn’t hide from, that I didn’t always question your motives with everything you say. I wish you were my first so you could experience a completely different me, but that’s not going to happen.
—  my wish to you 
I don’t remember our last kiss. I wish I did. I wish I could remember the last time we held hands..but I can’t remember that either. That’s the sad part about “last” things. You never know when it’s the last time.
—  k.r.b.// this must be what losing someone feels like
you had me wrapped around your finger for months, all I ever wanted to do was make you happy. Everything I did was to make you happy, and while I was making you happy, my happiness suffered. It suffered so much that now that you’re gone there is nothing left for me, the day you walked out, you took all my happiness with you. Why? Because that made you happy.
—  from me to you, as always 
The thing about your best friend is that she becomes like family. And when you’re not friends anymore, it’s like you lost a piece of yourself.
—  MK Ireland #153 : friends can break your heart too
Sometimes, closure arrives years later. Long after you stopped searching for it. You’re just sitting there, laughing this laugh that is unapologetically yours. As it trails off, the corners of your mouth hug your face and it hits you, ‘I’m happy’. It’s just like that. With no fanfare or epiphany. Suddenly, you are grateful for goodbyes that carried you to this moment; to the space you are now holding.
there’s a piece of my heart that still belongs to you, and I think it will always belong to you. as the days, weeks and months go by that piece of my heart only beats when I think about you, all the memories we have together, all the days we spent tangled in each others arms, the times we laughed so hard neither one of us could breathe. one day someone else might take over that piece of my heart, but for now it beats for you, and only for you.
—  12am thoughts