losing friends

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losing friends + making new ones | a candid chat

honestly this has been one of the hardest years of my life, in terms of mental health, physical health, and friendships. i do this thing where i stop trusting everyone and i turn really inward and i stop being able to express myself and how i’m feeling, and i basically become seriously toxic to anyone close to me. but anyways, i’m feeling a bit better, and this video is my attempt at explaining how i cope with losing friends, and i hope it can impact you in some way or another. if you need to chat, i really encourage you to leave a comment below…the people that watch these videos are amazing, including you. one big supportive family!!! xoxo jaim

I’ve realized after some time,
that you can never fully make people
like you, and accept you
for who you are.
And some,
don’t even bother
trying to,
some don’t even
want to
get to know you,
or understand you,
for the interior
rather than the outer
parts that you show.
So stop letting yourself
get so caught up
in wanting so badly,
to impress people
who don’t deserve
your best.
You are worth, a lot.
And there will always be,
some, who are too blind
to see you for what you are.
In the end,
it won’t matter
because you do not deserve
having people in your life,
who can’t see you
for more than what
you choose to show.
—  Keen Malasarte, “This is my farewell to the friends that don’t live up to the name”

When a relationship ends, it sort of makes sense. People fall out of love with another, situations change, and there’s nothing you can really do about it. Your lovers come in to your life at a certain time and you give what the other one needs. Sometimes they’ll want what you’re giving them forever and sometimes they won’t. Even though breakups are terrible and earth shattering, they almost feel a little less personal than the end of a close friendship. I mean, there are countless movies, TV shows and books about this, remember? They’re a fact of life. It’s not you, I swear, it’s just how the cookie crumbles sometimes.

But the end of a friendship is all about you. It’s nothing but you. It’s almost like a personal attack on your character. Someone who once thought of you as a beautiful soul now sees some ugly in you. They wanted to talk to you everyday and now they’re willfully distancing themselves. Meanwhile, you’re left thinking, “What did I do wrong? Where’s my partner in crime? Why don’t you want to be a part of my life anymore? I planned on you having e a major role and now you’re reducing yourself to a cameo.”

—  Ryan O'Connell
I miss you. That doesn’t change. It’ll never change. No matter how much I seem to ‘move on’, I will never stop missing you.
—  another-broken-hello
When you loose a best friend, it’s worse than breaking up with a boyfriend. Because you lose more than a heart, you lose a little bit of yourself.
—  M.
Make yourself so happy so that when others look at you they become happy, too.
—  M.
I guess feeling friends fade away from your life hurts. It hurts because you don’t connect with people often but with them it just clicked. It hurts because you could feel the distance growing. They stopped texting you as often. You felt you were annoying them. You watched them post on social media with their new friends, and felt a pocket of envy in your stomach. It is so much harder to let go of someone when you are a quiet person like myself, when you know that friendships do not come often or easily. They do not sprout like flowers. They are rare occurrences, like twins, the Grand Canyon, or dogs with two different coloured eyes. So I am sorry, my friend, that my friendship did not satisfy you, and I’m sorry my friendship to you wasn’t as rare an occurrence as yours was to me. I’m sorry you got bored of me, I’m sorry we grew apart.
—  fading friendships