Luke and Rory show emotion through actions and Lorelai and Jess show emotion through words
And they both use it to push people away - Lorelai uses her quick rapport to deflect her pain and Jess moves the subject to books or music or desperately asks Rory to run away when he feels thwarted. Rory and Luke don’t readily talk about their uncertainties and show their love more through actions, such as when Luke built the icerink and when Rory went to New York. When they’re hurt, they clam up. Rory throws herself into work and Luke leaves town for a few days. Rory more extremely leaves Yale altogether when she is overwhelmed and it is only Jess, talking to her directly, who can bring her home.
Lorelai and Jess clashed early on, but there are scenes which show their similarity and the possibility of friendship. In Lost and Found, Lorelai gives Jess Chinese food and they enjoy some smalltalk, which is unfortunately cut short. In One’s Got Class and the Other Dyes, Lorelai and Jess share a joke at Luke’s expense, showing the kind of banter they could have if they became friends. Luke and Rory, who are more quiet by nature, often share knowing looks and remarks about Lorelai’s quirks. On her sixteenth birthday, Luke bakes Rory a cake and blows up balloons and for her twenty-first, he gives her his mother’s pearls. Rory introduces him as her stepfather-to-be and the smile on Luke’s face is clear. When Rory and Jess crash Rory’s car, she goes to Luke. She tells him that it wasn’t Jess’s fault and Luke simply says ‘I know it wasn’t’. He makes her food and they sit in an understanding silence.
One of the reasons Rory and Jess and Luke and Lorelai work as couples is that they recognise these things. While they had problems communicating as teenagers, Jess is able to get through to Rory when they are adults, as he can see what she is trying to do. While Rory couldn’t solve Jess’s problems as a teenager, she could see that his smart talk and sarcasm was a wall and that he was vulnerable. Luke and Lorelai always let each other in when they can’t with others, even Rory - season 6 aside - and it’s Luke’s love for Rory which makes Lorelai know she wants to marry him. While their respective differences can hinder their relationships, for Luke and Lorelai and Rory and Jess, all four of them understand it in each other and continue to learn.
I figured out how to retrofit the Gilmore Girls miniseries so the ending is revitalizing, not regressive:
Lorelai is the one who’s pregnant.
Because that pulls it out of the “Rory was always going to end up in the same place” circular narrative - Rory goes on that journey of doubt and discovery and comes out the other end in a new place with new goals, while Lorelai is the one facing having the baby, but unlike last time, when she was sixteen and faced isolation and shame, this time she’s surrounded by people who love and support her (Luke, Rory, the entire town of Stars Hollow, and also her own mother).
Both Rory and Loerlai start on a new chapter in their lives, a new beginning. That’s the show I’d like to have watched.
Well, we like our Internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there’s no dancing, no walking, and we’d starve. It’d be all work and no play. Have you not seen The Shining, Mom? Gilmore Girls, Season One