lore and legends

So in lore, vampires have this trait that I’ve almost never seen used, and that’s the fact that vampires are OBSESSED with counting things. Like, the Count on Sesame Street was almost certainly created specifically as a vampire because of this piece of lore.

Like, I read this vampire book years and years ago that explained that a surefire way to protect yourself from vampires getting into your house was to spread a ton of seeds on your doorstep–poppy and mustard seeds were particularly recommended for the purpose. Basically, if you suspected someone to be a vampire, all you had to do was drop a sackful of seeds on the ground in front of them.

If they didn’t immediately start counting them, they were not a vampire. However, if they WERE a vampire, they’d be seized with the urge to count all the seeds and they would not budge from that spot until they knew how many seeds there were in total. The point was to keep them there until the sun came up and killed them, because if they hadn’t counted all the seeds by sunrise they wouldn’t be able to leave. Presumably you could just go about the rest of your evening as normal, though no word on whether it’s possible to make them lose count and start over.

Having remembered this piece of lore, I want fewer stories about brooding tortured Edward Cullen-esque vampires. I want to start seeing more stories about math nerd vampires.

Vampire accountants who are an honest company’s best asset and a corrupt company’s bane because they are frighteningly accurate with the accounts and will not hesitate to blow the whistle on a CEO scamming money because fuck you for making the numbers wrong.

Vampire cashiers that don’t need to look at the register screen because they already mentally calculated your total. 10-items-or-less vampires who know goddamn well you have 20 items in that basket and NO, you cannot just slip in with the rest.

Vampire math tutors who are constantly in high demand and have to hold lotteries to see who gets to be tutored by them.

MATH NERD VAMPIRES

To be a Local Witch

Throughout history and our legends, Witches and Wizards were the crazy men and women that lived on the outskirts of the village. Their craft was wild and strange to those that lived in the village, but, nonetheless, people would seek after their wisdom of the land, the plants, the local spirits, and for wisdom or guidance in their path. These men and women, often bachelors, would know the ins and outs of the region and often went walking alone. 

Today, our villages are less rustic and more like local towns, and suburbs. But one can still be a Local Witch, and develop special connections with the land you call home. 



Become a Local Witch: 

  1. Learn Local Lore
    Folktales, legends, and even tall tales develop the culture of a town or area. Learn these. Retell them over summer campfires, and over drinks with friends. People will start to LOVE your stories. 
  2. Start Frequenting locally owned shops and stores
    Develop connections and relationships with the owners and those that work there every day. Learn their names, and introduce yourself after visiting more often. Supporting locally owned shops helps small business owners and provides nourishment to your community. This is putting down roots, and develops your connection with the people that shape your town.
  3. Find a Local Bookstore
    This is an extension of 1 and 2. Locally owned bookstores always have a Local Writers, Local Plants, and Local History sections. Ask inside where these sections are, and start devouring these books. Not only will you be supporting a local shop, but you have a direct source of helpful information. Oftentimes, employees and owners also know a lot of Lore. Talk to them about what you’re interested in learning. They probably have some hidden gems of information. 
  4. Learn about your Indigenous Plants
    Start researching and learning about the flora that grows locally, learn their lore, their uses, and magical or folklore associations. If Natives from your area used these plants, find out how. Learn where these plants grow and research local foraging. If you’ve never foraged, see if you can find a local group that can serve as helpful guides to stay safe. Never ingest anything unless you are SURE. 
  5. Start a local Plant Grimoire
    Keep dried presses of flowers and plants in it, draw and diagram to help you remember what they look like. 
  6. Learn about the indigenous animals
    Research their folklore and mythology. Start finding out what they eat, and what their habitats are. (Safely) Do your part to help foster their growth and health. This could be making insect houses to help local endangered pollinators, or leaving out special birdseed for endangered bird species in the area. (Safely) Start interacting with the non-aggressive species and leave them treats. This is great for birds, deer, rabbits, moles, chipmunks, hedgehogs, etc 
  7. Join local Conservation Projects 
    Getting directly involved in wildlife conservation strengthens our spiritual and natural ties to the land we call our home. Taking personal responsibility and interest in it’s stewardship is honoring the spirits of the land, and the Gods. 
  8. Use Google Maps while exploring parks, or protected open spaces to drop pins and places where you find animal habitats or useful plants for foraging. 

That’s all for now. More will come later I’m sure. Now go be the best local Witch or Druid you can be! 

I really wanna write a Zelda all about Dadondorf, like

In this cycle, Ganondorf wakes up/reincarnates/is freed early, and as he’s finally gotten sick of the cycles, he finds the infant Hero of Courage and either kidnaps him or orphans him so that he can raise him for himself, with the goal of corrupting him towards darkness and evil

But over time, Link corrupts Ganondorf, and by the time he’s old enough for him becoming the Hero of Courage to begin reasonably getting set in motion, Ganondorf has legitimately become a caring father to him

And then this cycle’s Zelda begins a hunt for the Hero of Courage and the Bearer of Power, because Ganondorf’s awakening all those years ago did not go unnoticed, and this Zelda only believes in the roles Fate has laid out for the three; as such she’s lost perspective on her own rule and has become something of a tyrant.  When she and her entourage reach Link and Ganondorf’s village, she meets them both (by accident; Ganondorf didn’t know she was there) and she takes Ganondorf prisoner with the intent of executing him

And Link has to begin his journey in a way nobody ever intended: to free the land from the tyrannical Princess Zelda, and to rescue Ganondorf from her diabolical clutches

Bonus points for Ganondorf reveling in the quiet love of the parental bond and genuinely being remorseful for his actions in past cycles

Additionally, Link has to wrest the usual Zelda reincarnations from fate’s grasp; he has to convince Impa to rebel, the oracles of the three goddesses to forsake their traditional champion, he has to spend the entire game telling fate that the universe has finally had enough.

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Kass. Kass. Kaaassss. KASS. KASS!!!

I’m right here. Play the song for me. My body is ready.

"Describe this podcast in 2 words"

Wtnv- “gay science”

Tbtp- “spooky demons”

Tanis- “Nic why”

Wolf 359- “Eiffel NO”

Limetown- “damn government”

The Bright Sessions- “SUPER POWERS”

Wooden Overcoats- “death business”

Ars Paradoxica- “freaky time”

Lore- “scary PBS”

Astonishing Legends- “spooky bros”

Sword And Scale- “depressingly true”

Thrilling Adventure Hour- “comedy plays”

Alice Isn’t Dead- “mysterious roads”

EOS 10- “space hospital”

Myths And Legends- “original version”

Serial- “journalistic goals”

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Ok but how would he know.

He’s been trapped in a puzzle for 3000/5000 years, right? Was he even conscious in there? How could he hear all the things people were calling him over the ages? And where did he even get “Yami”?

Because I like to think he spent the first few weeks after the puzzle was solved floating around at Yugi’s shoulder like “Who the fuck am I.” And at some point he overheard Yugi’s grandpa explaining the lore behind the puzzle, like:

Solomon: Legends say that this puzzle belonged to an ancient Egyptian pharaoh!

Yami: Sounds legit. That could be me, right? I feel vaguely pharaoh-y.

Solomon: And the hieroglyphs in the tomb where the puzzle was found spoke of a “King of Games!”

Yami: That’s a super cool title, I’m keeping that one.

Solomon: And the inscription on the puzzle reads “The one who solves me shall gain the powers and knowledge of darkness.”

Yami: Guess that’s me. I’m the darkness.

And when Yugi finally gets around to asking him his name he’s like “Ah, yes, my name. I have…many names. So many names. That I remember. Like…Pharaoh. And…King of Games. And. Uh. Uh… *looks down at the puzzle* dARKNESS.”

tldr; “Yami” was totally a line-of-sight name he got stuck with.

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Here is 3/? of my podcast recommendations for the avid listener. These can all be found on iTunes.

If there’s a podcast that hasn’t featured on either of my posts that you think deserves a shout out, let me know what it is and I’ll give it a listen. I’m always looking for new podcasts to listen to, especially fiction.

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MYTHOLOGICAL AESTHETICS:
The Phoenix 

“I was never surprised that they did not have a phoenix on display. There is only one phoenix at a time, of course, and while the Natural History Museum was filled with dead things, the phoenix is always alive.”

-Neil Gaiman, Unnatural Creatures

Podcast Episodes for Witches and Occult Lovers

Suggested by @witchtips and @occultpassion

All completely FREE

* Please note that there is non-factual discussion and cross talk in these podcasts which can sometimes be slightly offensive and off color *

Dolls and Magic - New World Witchery

Magical Occupations Revisited - New World Witchery

Moon Magic - New World Witchery

Pretty much anything from New World Witchery

Protection Magic - New World Witchery

Feminist Witchcraft - Stuff Mon Never Told You

Occult Symbols - Last Podcast on The Left

Nazis and the Occult Part I: Severe and Annoying - Last Podcast on The Left

Nazis and the Occult Part II: White People Nerds - Last Podcast on The Left

Hollywood Witches - Stuff Mom Never Told You

Grimoire: Occult Books and the Magic of Writing - Stuff To Blow Your Mind

Wicca - The Ancient Way - Occult of Personality

Sinister Forces, Occult History, & The Nine - TheCarlwood

Superstars and Satan: Music and The Occult - Stuff They Don’t Want You To Know

Anything from Down At The Crossroads

The Illusion: Alchemy Reborn Through The Occult - History of Alchemy Podcast

History of The Occult - Out There Radio

Magickal Art in the New Aeon - Occult of Personality

Witchcraft 101 - The Unnormal Paranormal Podcast

Witchcraft - BBC Radio 4

Modern Witch Podcast

BONUS Personal Favorite Podcasts

Lore

The NoSleep Podcast

Astonishing Legends

Serial

Stuff They Don’t Want You To Know

Jim Harold’s Campfire

Criminal

Books signs

Aries: Percy Jackson 

Leo: The Maze Runner

Taurus: Vampire Academy

Gemini: A Song of Ice and Fire

Cancer: Throne of Glass

Aquarius: I Am Number Four

Scorpio: Legend

Libra: The Giver

Virgo: Divergent

Sagittarius: Shadowhunters

Capricorn: Harry Potter

Pisces: Hunger Games

What book are you?

Zelda Timeline guide

Unified Timeline - Prequels galore. Where every game is more backstory than the last, and each game requires more backstory so it could be explored even further back.

Adult Timeline - AKA Wind Waker Timeline. devoted entirely to Wind Waker and its sequels and nothing else.

Child Timeline - The Timeline Nintendo Cares About. Where 3 out of the 5 3D Zeldas to come out since Ocarina of Time take place.

Fallen Hero Timeline - 2D Zelda Dumping Ground. Where almost every 2D game that came out before or after Ocarina of Time and doesn’t fit neatly into the rest of the Zelda lore takes place in.

“When We First Met”

Title: When We First Met

Characters: Xayah and Rakan

Word Count: 5116

Description: This is my version of the lore before Riot releases the lore. Lots of flashback about when the two first met. (Disclaimer: This was written before the release of the official lore from Riot. The only things that factored into this story were their abilities, appearance, and voice lines as well as some headcanoning from me.)


“Do you remember when we first met, Xayah?”

She snorted. “Pfft, how could I forget? You were so loud. How could I not notice you?”

“You were so cute.”

“Don’t call me cute.”

“You were so cute!”

“Then what am I now?”

“Sizzle.”

They laughed as they leaned on each other’s shoulders while lying underneath a large tree in a forest clearing. Light shined in between the leaves as it poured down onto the ground. The only sounds they could hear were their own, the chirping of birds here and there, and the scurrying of small mammals searching for nuts. It was fall. Winter was arriving, and Nature was preparing. Temperatures were beginning to drop, but the two were nestled closely together, sharing their warmth.

Keep reading

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Guys I really dont think you understand how many podcasts I have saved
Im still finding more every day too