lords table

  • Kishimoto, in every volume of Naruto: The shinobi system is immoral. The shinobi system turns people into tools. The shinobi system causes wars. The shinobi system destroys small countries. The shinobi system destroys the poor. The shinobi system must be changed to bring peace and Naruto will be the one to bring that peace.
  • Me: Oh boy Naruto is ending and I'm so jazzed for that shinobi system reform!
  • Kishimoto: um...
  • Me: hello? hello????
  • Ikemoto: new mangaka who dis

Its the end of the session and the monk has only just been introduced to the game. After receiving help from the “country boy” barbarian who is in town to seek aid for his attacked village, the monk proceeds to wander off towards the Lord’s Manor which he’s been warned is Heavily Guarded. 

DM (Me): You begin to wander the gardens, which are strangely empty. After dodging a hedge maze or two your make your way to the manor. 

Monk: How many guards are there, are they patrolling in 2s, 3s, 4s? Are they in certain patterns?

DM: I don’t think you see Any guards.

Barbarian (ooc): Oh no, it’s a trap.

Monk (confused): Ok, I attempt to sneak inside. (Rolls a crit) 

DM: You successfully find a window that puts you directly outside the library.  

Monk: Can I listen to the door to see if I hear anyone?

DM: You can, you hear something, but you’re not sure what or how many. 

Monk: I crack the door to see if I can hear better. 

DM: you can hear one voice, its a ways back into the room but directly in line with the door. 

Monk: can I try to sneak in and get out of sight before I’m seen? (rolls a 6)
DM: You can try (Person inside rolls a natural 20) 

The monk attempts to sneak in and poorly hides behind a table. The Lord of the manor looks up from his book and over the heads of about 20 children and says “Are you here for story time too?”

Coach and Suzanne, Part Four

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Warning: This bit contains a coming out that isn’t so great. Everything will be okay, this fic (and at this point it’s an actual fic and not just me head canoning all the livelong day) follows Ngozi’s intent for our boy. Bitty wins, you guys.

Suzanne keeps herself in check when she hears the rumble of the truck on the gravel driveway. Her hands are submerged in sudsy water, and she won’t go flying out the door getting soap everywhere, no matter how much she wants to. She runs cold water to rinse her hands, listening to the click of the truck engine outside the kitchen window, and dries them while the sound of Dickey teasing his father about the radio floats in.

She meets them at the back door. Dickey’s in first and that’s when Suzanne let’s herself squeal just a little.

Baby,” she cries, yanking him in for a hug. “Look at you.”

Dickey laughs as she sways him back and forth. “Look at you, you cut your hair!”

“Only a little,” she says, pulling back enough to give her head a shake. “What do you think? Do I look younger?”

“Not a day over twenty five,” Coach interrupts just behind Dickey’s shoulder. “Can we come in the house or are we gonna live in this doorway forever?”

Suzanne rolls her eyes at him but steps back, tugging Dickey with her by the shoulders. “Come on, let’s get out of the way so your father can bring in all your–”

Coach gives her a look as she takes in the carry-on bag in his hand. Suzanne stops, fingers still wrapped around Dickey’s upper arms.

“All your bags,” she finishes. “What’s going on?”

“I should let y'all talk,” Coach says, setting the bag aside and heading for the doorway. “I’ll be in the den.”

Which means, Suzanne realizes, that whatever it is, Coach already knows about it.

Since when am I the last to know, she thinks. She turns away from the retreating back of her husband and rubs one hand over Dickey’s shoulder. He looks pale and scared.

Keep reading



Am I doing this right

Long live...

Long live the legends
And long live his tale
Long live Sir Gwaine
Long live the taverns and the ale

Long live family
And long live brotherhood
Long live Sir Elyan
Long live the faithful and the good

Long live his strength
And long live his will
Long live Sir Percival
Who is protecting us still

Long live justice
And long live his pride
Long live Sir Leon
Who never simply stood aside

Long live love!
And long live music and dance
Long live Sir Lancelot
Who deserved another chance

Long live our Prince!
Long live our King!
Long live Arthur Pendragon!
About whose honour the bards even nowadays sing

And long live his servant!
And long live the myth!
Long live Merlin’s magic!
Or should we grant him death?
For his life has been tragic…

anonymous asked:

But the real question now is when do we get to fuck a Krogan?


EDIT: oh cool I guess both ryders can get this prompt? EXCELLENT NEWS.


I was drowning

It was a Friday night, dark and cold on the Southside as Jughead Jones pulled his leather jacket tighter around his shoulders, tucking his chin to his chest to avoid the bitter winter wind that whipped through the doorway of the broken down bar.

As soon as he stepped into the Serpent run establishment it was clear something was very very wrong. Gang members were running hectic around the bar, shouting and confusion filling the air as the older men spoke harshly into their phones and younger Serpents bent down low and seemed to be talking to something underneath a table.

Jughead flung his keys down, moving slowly toward the older man currently standing to the side typing furiously into his cellphone.

“What’s going on?” Jughead asked, scanning the faces of about twenty very angry Serpents. The man named Viper snapped his head up, hands flinging into the air.

“A kid, they dropped off a kid! He’s under the table, all covered in blood. It’s a message. A damn threat.” He growled.

“A kid? What? What are you talking about?” The dark haired teenager stared blankly at the older leader of the Serpents.

“Look for yourself! He’s under the table, it’s the ghoulies! They’ve gone too far this time, he’s just a kid, can’t be anymore than four years old, you gotta call someone. Now!” He ordered, marching away.

Jughead made his way to the table, shoving the boys surrounding the cracked wood as he bent down, eyes instantly meeting the aqua blue ones of the tiny boy, blood caking his face and a ripped t shirt hanging off of his too small frame.
“What the fuck.” He whispered, tearing his eyes away, it was almost physically painful to see the signs of pure abuse.

“Jones!” Jughead jumped up, “I thought I told you to call someone!” Jughead looked at the scarred man

“Who am I even supposed to call?!”

“I don’t know! I don’t care just get that kid out from underneath the table, lord knows who’s blood that is.”

Pulling his phone out from the pocket of his jacket Jughead dialed involuntarily, he only realized who he had called when the familiar sugar sweet voice answered from the other end, slightly out of breathe and tired.


“Betty, I’m….I’m at the Whyte worm…I….I need you.”

There was silence for a moment before she answered

“I’m on my way.”

The line went dead.

17 minutes later the Beautiful Blonde slammed through the door wearing tiny brown ugg boots, her cheerleading uniform and an incredibly loose bun on the top of her head. Every man in the bar turned to stare at the leggy Blonde, half drooling half staring in utter confusion as she pushed past and headed directly towards the crowded table, simply nodding at Jughead as she passed.

Viper came quickly to stand beside Jughead
“You called your ex girlfriend?”

Jughead crossed his arms
“You told me to call someone, so I did.” He shrugged, eyes trained protectively on the girl now crouching by the table, hands on the floor.

They had broken up two months ago, it had been brutal, words flung angrily, accusations that held no merit. And it was his fault, there was no question, he wanted to protect her, protect her from the gang, from situations like this, protect her from everything, but….

God he missed her everyday. He needed her to breathe, needed her warmth to sleep, he was freezing. Needed her arms to float because damnit he was drowning and he couldn’t do it anymore.

And here she was, he called and she was here, she always was, no matter what. That was Betty Cooper and you were the luckiest human being in the world If she decided to love you.

Betty crawled slowly towards the table, the warmest smile on her lips as she looked at the terrified child squeezed in the corner.

“It’s scary out here isn’t it?” She whispered, her voice echoing in the dead silent bar, she had everyone captured, they were hooked.

The little boy barely nodded, his hands shaking as he moved just the tiniest bit closer.

“I know how you feel, it’s all new and it’s scary. Someone left you here and I’m so sorry that they did that but I can promise you that you’re safe now.”

He moved closer, a shock of black hair coming into view.

“What’s your name love.” Betty reached a hand out, reaching to brush a stray curl from his eyes.


The voice was so small, so broken and damaged, cracking and hurt. Jugheads chest was thudding.

“Well max, my names betty, it’s very nice to meet you. Hey! how about we go and get you something warm to wear and then we can talk, there’s snow on the ground little bug, it’s awfully chilly.”

The little boy crawled to her, hesitantly taking her hand
“I’m…. it’s… dirty.. blood.” He whispered.

Betty nodded, clutching the little boy and hoisting him up on her hip
“Nothing a little soap and water can’t fix, does anything hurt you?” She questioned, gently patting the little boy as he coughed, a tiny smile on his lips as her fingers tickled under his chin.

“No, just cold… just.. hungry.” He whispered, burying his head into her neck, blood smearing over her smooth skin.

“Okay Love, Okay. Let’s go get cleaned up and then we’ll eat something okay?”

He nodded and Betty headed off towards the bathroom, eyes catching Jugheads, a broken hearted kind of look in her eyes.

As soon as the little boy and the blonde had left the room the silence broke.

“She’s magic.”

“I want to marry her.”

“She can be my baby mama any day.”

“But those legs.”

Viper turned to Jughead
“Good job. We have a lot to talk about, group meeting at my trailer, bring the girl as soon as she gets the boy down. She might be interested in what we have to say.” It was an order, not a suggestion and Jughead Knew there was no way of getting her out of this situation.

They were screwed.

courage » jeno

find part one here

prompt: he’s been appointed your head guard and the two of you try once again to foil your mother’s plan of marrying you off to someone
words: 4476
category: royalty!au, fluff
a/n: hey sorry i haven’t updated in awhile. i hope this will make up for it. i need to do royalty aus for the whole 00 line tbh

Originally posted by nctjaemin


You peaked your head outside of your door, noticing the plum cape of your head guard. Your kingdom’s coat of arms stared back at you, a black dragon shooting red flames at whatever invisible attacker was presented before it. “Jeno,” you hissed, “is the coast clear?”

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The god and the bookworm

pairing: thor reader

Plot: after failing to find his soulmate in Asgard tony throws thor a party to cheer him up. After the party Thor tells the team that he wants to find his soulmate already and tells them that only his soulmate can lift his hammer. To see if any of them are his soulmate the team tries to lift the hammer. After everyone tries and fails the bookworm of the team aka the reader is pressured into trying and freaks out when she lifts it up like nothing.

A/n in this fic vision can’t lift Thor’s hammer.

Originally posted by thorduna

Originally posted by thejediavengeroftheinternet

The one thing Thor kept repeating throughout his life was that he was never got to get married yet marriage has been on Thor’s mind for the past year. Sure when he was younger he at the thought of meeting his soulmate made him sick. It was mainly because he knew that once he met them he wouldn’t be able to have sex with any woman he pleased. But now that he’s older he’s grown out of that mindset and wanted to settle down with his soulmate.

When he told his father he was ready to settle down with his soulmate he asked him how he could find them. “My boy you are holding the tool that will let you find your soulmate.” Thor looked down at his hammer confused “your mother charmed it so only two people can carry that hammer; you and your soulmate. So if you are serious about finding your soulmate I suggest you hold a assembly and have both men and women try to lift the hammer.”

Keep reading

oh sweet neon boy with a halo of halogen light. it tastes good, doesn’t it? to dance like this in the haze of the bar, one drink down with his eyes on you all glittering dark. it feels good like this, to get lost, fixated on the way his painted fingernails tap and shift, watch the full curve of his bottom lip and that grin that reaches the crinkles around his eyes. isn’t he handsome like this? and your heart is beating like a kick drum, because damn if he isn’t brilliant. with his kohl rimmed eyes, the lord of the pool table, humming close to you like a fallen saint, backlit by fairy lights. he’s falling in love with you alec but you don’t know that yet. you’re just a boy with long fingers, the taste of beer thick at the back of your throat and he’s the most handsome thing you’ve ever seen. you want to learn how his name feels in your mouth when his fingers are lost in your hair, don’t you? and tonight? tonight you can’t find it in you to feel guilty about that. because tonight magnus bane is watching you like you’re made of something greater than carbon and you’re realizing you were made to play this game.

ok but you know what honestly confuses the hell out of me more than anything

this fuckin shit

there are SO many goddamn questions it raises
-why are/were there two titans in the west
-are we to infer that there may have been other titans in other areas too
-how much older than the other four is this one that it’s decomposed so much more
-does this imply that there have been TWO sets of titans that have roamed this world
-why is this one colored more like natural bone as opposed to the sort of metallic purple of the newer ones [could just be bleaching from decomp but…]
-what the fuck summoned/created this titan and when and why


the only [very baseless and bullshit] theory i could come up with for this was that titans are…akin to dinosaurs in this world; powerful ancient creatures that once roamed the world, but then got wiped out or died off for whatever reason. the newer titans that’re landmarks in each of sectors [and presumably the ones seen in the opening] are simply recreations [maybe with upgrades] made in the southern labs using dna or some shit from this one
i don’t want to say hld is jurassic park but. listen my dudes i got nothing.

problem is, if titans were this whole like, species, we should’ve seen a LOT more remnants of them around… with it just being the one i’m led to think it’s closer in status to a deity, and oh BOY wouldn’t THAT have been a risky mission, to go about growing your own fucking GODS [AND MULTIPLE OF THEM AT THAT] in a lab…no wonder shit went south. 

anyway yeah i don’t particularly like that spec either, if you have any comments or views on this thing i’d love to hear them??