lords name

The Six Types of Middle-Earth Names

1. Characters whose Names are Secretly Insults: 

Samwise: means “Half-wise” or “Half-wit.” He is Stupid Gamgee

Faramir: Boromir’s name means “steadfast jewel”, but Faramir’s name just means “sufficient jewel.”

Sufficient.

Denethor took one look at baby Faramir and thought “eh I guess he exists or whatever” which is very in character

 2. Characters who Have Way Too Many Names

Examples include Aragorn son of Arathorn son of Arador heir of Isildur Elendil’s son, descendant of Numenor,  Thorongill,  Eagle of the Star,  Dúnadan, Strider,  Wingfoot, Longshanks, Elessar, Edhelharn, Elfstone, Estel (”Hope,”) The Chieftain of the Dúnedain, King of the West, High King of Gondor and Arnor, and Envinyatar the Renewer of the House of Telcontar

Wait I’m sorry did I say “examples” plural

Cuz that was all one guy

3. Characters whose parents must’ve been prophets

-Frodo means “wise by experience.” His story is about becoming wise by experience
-A lady named Elwing turns into a bird (geddit)

4. Characters whose families were so lazy that they copy-pasted the same first half of a name onto multiple people

Théoden/Théodred 
Aragorn/Arathorn/Arador 
Éomer/ Éomund/Éowyn/Éorl
Elladan/Elrohir/Elrond/Elros/Elwing/Elenwë/Elendil/Eldarion (the laziest family) 

5.Characters whose Names are Expertly Designed so that Newbies can’t Remember Who is Who and Feel Sad

All the people mentioned in number 4
Celeborn, Celegorm, Celebrimbor, Celebrian
All the rhyming dwarf names in the Hobbit
Sauron and Saruman
Arwen and Éowyn

6. Name so nice, you say it twice

Legoas Greenleaf: Legolas’s first name means “Greenleaf” in elvish. Legolas is Greenleaf Greenleaf (thranduil really likes green leaves ok)

King Théoden’s name means King in Rohirric. Tolkien decided to name his king “King.” All hail King King



 this is what the fanbase means when we say tolkien was a creative genius with language

I think one of the reasons the Harry Potter Epilogue was so poorly received was because the audience was primarily made up of the Millennial generation.

We’ve walked with Harry, Ron and Hermione, through a world that we thought was great but slowly revealed itself to be the opposite. We unpeeled the layers of corruption within the government, we saw cruelty against minorities grow in the past decades, and had media attack us and had teachers tell us that we ‘must not tell lies’. We got angry and frustrated and, like Harry, Ron and Hermione, had to think of a way to fight back. And them winning? That would have been enough to give us hope and leave us satisfied.

But instead. There was skip scene. And suddenly they were all over 30 and happy with their 2.5 children.

And the Millennials were left flailing in the dust.

Because while we recognised and empathised with everything up to that point. But seeing the Golden Trio financially stable and content and married? That was not something our generation could recognise. Because we have no idea if we’re ever going to be able to reach that stage. Not with the world we’re living in right now.

Having Harry, Ron and Hermione stare off into the distance after the battle and wonder about what the future might be would have stuck with us. Hell, have them move into a shitty flat together and try and sort out their lives would have. Have them with screaming nightmares and failed relationships and trying to get jobs in a society that’s falling apart would have. Have them still trying to fix things in that society would have. Because we known Voldemort was just a symptom of the disease of prejudice the Wizarding World.

But don’t push us off with an 'all was well’. In a world about magic, JK Rowling finally broke our suspension of disbelief by having them all hit middle-class and middle-age contentment and expecting a fanbase of teenagers to accept it.

Also. Since when was 'don’t worry kids, you’re going to turn out just like your parents’ ever a happy ending? Does our generation even recognise marriage and money and jobs as the fulfillment of life anymore? Does our generation even recognise the Epilogue’s Golden Trio anymore?

Character: [doesnt have any dialogue. Barely ever seen in source material & fanworks. Has minimal, if any, provided backstory]

Me, pushing aside fan faves: HEY. YOU THERE. hEy . T H E R E. Hey, you there, i see you over there, i want u to c omE HERE

5

Costume Porn + Women Warriors/Women in Armor

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this was a lot funnier in my head

Characters named Jack have no chill

Handsome Jack? Sociopathic dictator.

Jack Harkness? Screwed everyone ever.

Jack Sparrow? HA where to I start with this one

Jack Dawson? Reckless as FUCK

Jack Merridew? Set an island on fire.

Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk? Stole shit from a fuckin GIANT

name ONE character named Jack who has any chill

lady midnight chapter titles, narrated by percy jackson but in Emma’s point of view

(do not recommend reading this before reading lady midnight)

  1.  “I fight a tree”
  2. “I give Cristina a tour”
  3. “I join my parabatai in bed”
  4. “We order some vampire pizza”
  5.  “We make a deal with faeries”
  6. “Mark rejects our warm welcoming”
  7. “We map”
  8. “I fly a motorcycle”
  9. “I battle giant pray mantises”
  10. “Mark kills Mr. Limpet” 
  11.  “A minipoodle leads us to a corpse”
  12. “I work a miracle”
  13. “Cristina and I go shopping”
  14. “We party at the Midnight Theatre”
  15. “I watch the lottery”
  16. “My parabatai’s little brother meets his soulmate”
  17. “Mark destroys the kitchen”
  18. “I sleep with my parabatai”
  19. “I nearly kill Cristina’s ex-lover”
  20. “My parabatai tell us his life story”
  21. “Storytime”
  22.  “Kieran turns out to be snitch”
  23.  “I find out my parabatai has a room full of paintings of me”
  24. “We have a blackout”
  25. “We take out the dead”
  26.  “I murder a high warlock”
  27. “I start dating my parabatai’s brother”

(inspired by this post)