Tell Her I Said Goodbye
AN: Here is the second part to You Don’t Know What It feels Like! Finally after all this time, Sam is finally getting his own story. After this, the story is going to become more about Sam and his road to happiness, and less about the readerxdean story in the first part. I guess you could say the first part was a prequel to this new series. I know that I traditionally write for Dean, and I normally focus on reader or casxdean pairings… but I’m trying something new. Please let me know what you think! I always appreciate feedback! Love you all, more to come!
Sam was laying in bed later that night, with a bottle of Jack Daniels and Lord of the Rings on his TV. Since he had witnessed you and Dean kissing in the shooting range, he wasn’t exactly up for socializing, so he had shut himself in his room to avoid any unwanted conversation. He wasn’t in the mood. He didn’t know when it had happened, but he had somehow fallen head over heels in love with you. “I’m an idiot,” Sam said out loud to himself, and he was right. He was an idiot. He should have known better than to fall for a girl who was in love with his brother. “Who does that?” He sat up slightly and took a large swig of the brown liquid, hissing at the burning feeling it left in his throat. He returned the bottle to the nightstand and grabbed his phone. After several attempts of typing in his passcode he was rewarded with access. Pressing on the photo icon, Sam pulled up his photo library and began scrolling through its contents. Pictures of the three of you, and occasionally Cas, filled the screen, but he stopped when one of the two of you together caught his eye. He clicked on the photo, making it bigger and just stared at it. It was a selfie that you took one night on a hunt. Dean had gone out to get some food and you and Sam had stayed to look into some lore. As always, Sam had been nose deep in a book, and you had stolen his phone in an attempt to get him to ‘lighten up’. He smiled at the expression on your faces, your lips pursed and your eyes crossed and him just smiling at your antics. As much pain as he had experienced in his life, he always seemed to let his guard down around you. When he was with you, he didn’t have to pretend to be this ‘big macho tough guy’. He could tell you anything and not be afraid of your judgment. ‘This is gonna suck’ he thought to himself. If it were any other guy, he would fight for you… but this was Dean, and the two of you were in love. How was he supposed to get over you? Just watching the two of you together was enough to crush him, and he knew that he couldn’t bare it if he stayed around it. Sam pushed himself off the bed, stumbling a bit when he attempted to stand. Walking over to his closet, he pulled a large duffel from the bottom and began pulling clothes from hangers. He hadn’t realized how drunk he was until he was trying to fold one of his flannels. He was on his second attempt when he heard a small knock on his door. A moment later his door opened and you poked you head in.
“Hey” you said, giving him a large smile. “Got a minute?” Sam nodded.
“Yeah, come on in.” He continued to pack his bag, a bit slower this time. He didn’t want you to know he was drunk.
“So…” you began, “Dean and I talked.”
“Yeah..” you waited a moment. “We kissed.” You stated excitedly, waiting for his reaction.
“I know.” Sam said, throwing some socks in with the rest of his clothes. He looked over his shoulder to see you frowning.
“I kinda saw you guys…” he cleared his throat. “I didn’t want to intrude.”
“Well, don’t sound so excited for me or anything.” You chastised, clearly getting annoyed with his reaction. Sam sighed and turned to face you.
“I AM excited for you.” he said, sensing your annoyance. It was silent for a moment. “So you together now?” he asked, hoping his fake interest would get him back on your good side. You smiled, fidgeting with a strand of your hair.
“I don’t know. We still need to talk about it but… he said he loves me.” Sam smiled at the happiness in your voice.
“I’m happy for you guys.”
“Thanks Sam.” You let out a happy sigh and looked around the room, your eyes landing on his suitcase. “Did you find a case?” Sam followed your gaze and shifted slightly on his feet.
“Um… not yet.” He resumed packing, avoiding making eye contact.
“Yet?” Sam ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
“I um… think I’m going to South Dakota for awhile. Stay in one of Bobby’s cabins… visit Jodie and the girls… I’ll find something when I get there”. He zipped his now full duffle closed and walked to his bookshelf, pulling several books out and making a small pile.
“Yeah. I think I just need to go for awhile, clear my head.” Sam reached over and grabbed his bottle of whiskey, taking a swig before closing the lid and throwing it on top of the duffel.
“Are you drunk?” you asked, growing concerned. You walked across the room and gently grabbed his arm. “Sam. What is going on?”
“I’m fine, (Y/N). Just… I need to be by myself right now.” He responded, a bit harsh. You looked at him, your anger growing by the second.
“Well, you’re not going anywhere tonight. You’re in no condition to drive.” You countered, releasing his arm and grabbing the keys to his car laying on his dresser. “Sleep it off. We will talk tomorrow”. You left him then, leaving the scent of your perfume in the air. He threw himself down on his bed, not even bothering with blankets or pillows. He was tired, he was upset, and he just didn’t care enough anymore.
Sam woke up early the next morning with a pounding in his head. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and sighed. It was 5 in the morning, and he knew that you and Dean were probably sleeping, and that he should wait to talk to you before he left, but he didn’t think he could wait that long. He rolled out of bed and got took a quick shower before getting dressed. He did quick scan of the room, making sure he had everything he needed. After grabbing a few extra lore books and his duffel he left his room, making sure not to make a lot of noise. He loaded his truck with his belongings and got in before he remembered you taking his keys. “Dammit” he mumbled to himself, getting out and heading back into the bunker. He was passing through the library when he spotted Dean sitting at one of the tables; feet propped up, a drink in his hand. He gave Sam a look before reaching into his robe pocket and pulling out Sam’s keys.
“You might need these.” He said, tossing them onto the table. Sam stepped forward, and grabbed the keys.
“Thanks”. Sam nodded to his older brother before turning and making his way back to the garage.
“That’s it?” Sam stopped and turned to see Dean walking toward him. “No explanation… just gonna take off without saying goodbye?” Dean was standing in front of him now, arms crossed and looking pissed. Sam took a deep breath.
“Look. I just need to get out of here. What do you care anyway? I’ve gone out on my own before!”
“I care because (Y/N) came into my room last night tore up because you were a drunk asshole!” He shouted, pointing a finger at Sam. “What the hell was that about anyway?”
“I was drunk, Dean… you gonna pretend that you don’t turn into an asshole when you drink sometimes?” Dean stared at him.
“Well, you got me there…” Dean shook his head, and sighed. “You check in, got it?” Sam rolled his eyes, but smiled at his older brother’s concern.
“I mean it, Sam. If I don’t hear from you every four days, I’ll track you down and beat the shit out of you myself.”
“Okay, Dean. Every four…” Sam clapped his brother on the shoulder, before walking away. He stopped for a moment, one foot out the door and whispered. “Tell her I said goodbye.”