lord of the kittens

a fantasy book where:

  • the necromancer isn’t at all evil, keeps their reanimated cat as a companion
  • the ‘dark lord’ is woman who wears a floor length floral cloak and pink kitten heels
  • the orcs are highly intelligent and frequently engage in orc chess and deep philosophical debates
  • the elvish archer is the clumsiest, most inaccurate little shit ever
  • the bard writes deep emo poetry, constantly quoting sonnets by the most talented musicians of the era-  ‘fall out bard’ and ‘panic at the inn’
  • the mage only knows 3 spells- and they all involve cutlery
  • the intellectual character that finds the powerful relic/enchanted item/mysterious glowy thing is 120% done with all of it ‘for GODS sake, that is the SEVENTH DARK ORB THIS YEAR are yOU KIDDING’
  • the healer character is also the most ripped, usually ends up treating their own wounds more than anyone elses
  • the ‘deep broody’ character is actually mute the whole time but no one realises and thinks it’s just part of his moody persona until he has to fucking spell it out for them (literally), spends the whole story making exasperated faces and gestures
  • the dragon that’s hunting them down for the whole story is actually just trying to give back the shoe that one of them lost while running away, and is actually very conversational ‘bro, you’ve got this all wrong– look, you dropped this bro, haha i’m always forgetting stuff too don’t worry’
Me and My Sister
  • Me: *talking about how I'm excited for when Dan and Phil grow old together and have a dog and how cute it'll be*
  • Me: Dan and Phil need to get a shibe, like now
  • My sister: it'll be two memes under one roof!
  • My sister: I thought Dan said he wanted a hamster, though
  • Me: *thinks about hat fic*
  • Me: nO DAN DOES NOT NEED A HAMSTER I REFUSE TO LET THEM GET ONE
  • My sister: oh, I know why
  • Me: *in my head* dear god no she cannot know why how could she know why
  • Me: If you know, why do I not want Dan to get a hamster?
  • My sister: because you're worried about his old one that ran away
  • Me: ....
  • Me: yeah, that's why...
Conclusion: IT’S A TERRIBLE MOVIE

Weak characterization, bad special effects, and Bon Jovi didn’t kill a vampire by opening the curtains on their face and half-shoutin half-singing “have a nice day”

But…

LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS BABY

HE WAS UP THE TREE GOD BLESS HIM

LOOK AT HIS PRECIOUS FACE SUCH A SMOL LIL BEAN EXCITED ON GOIN HUNTING VAMPIRES WITH HIS NEW FRIENDS

COVERING HIS LIL PRECIOUS EARS

ANGRY SMOL

BEING ANGRY IS TIRING AND HE FELL ASLEEP BESIDE THE HURT ABUELITO

~PAUSE FOR DRAMATIC JON BON JOVI~

ANGRY AGAIN

YAY WE KILLED THE EVIL VAMPIRE QUEEN, DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD

THAT’S JAVIER’S CROOKED HALF SMILE BEING BORN RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME OH DEAR LORD WHAT A BLESSING

BOI GIVE TWO YEARS MORE AND YOUR MAGIC ROTATING HIPS WILL CONQUER THE WORLD

The one and only Tom Marvolo Riddle (teen and evil as always).

I started drawing this an eternity ago when i was rereading (for the 3th time) Wand Cores by Lydia Kitten but it’s not based on her story (but could be). But i love her Tom Riddle and i need to give her some credit for inspiring me.

Right now i am stuck reading the Prince of the Dark Kingdom by Mizuni-sama which is by far the longest ff i ever read. Hope i will survive the epilogue of the 6th book.

anonymous asked:

Cat's names on Tumblr: Momdad, Dadmom, Mom, Dad, Cat, Catcat, Kitcat, Our Lord and Savior, *Insert more that I probably missed*

C,buttlord,meme lord,lil shi-,furry,the butt hand dude,kitten,the abDomination- 

Taurus Playlist

Alone Together- Fall Out Boy
Cathedral- Kitten
Don’t Wanna Dance- MØ
This is What Makes Us Girls- Lana Del Rey
Young and Beautiful- Lana Del Rey
Ribs- Lorde
Skinny Love- Bon Iver
How Can I- Charli XCX
Gold- Marina and the Diamonds
Samson- Regina Spektor
Safe and Sound- Capital Cities 
Sensible- Kitten
Hate To See Your Heart Break- Paramore
Demons- Imagine Dragons