lord jabu jabu

The last speed painting of the three! You can see the other two here and here!

This lad is an ancient creature who was tasked by Nayru to guard the third and final piece of the triforce. The zoras revere him as their creator God, and while the zoras are a young race at this point in time, they had spent their years crafting elaborate accessories to adorn him with. 
 
 The whale was blessed with wisdom, and knows many things despite having never left his arena. He’s waited a long, long time for fate to play out. He covets the day the Messenger of the Heavens would lay claim to the trifource piece placed in the whale’s care. He is a tired creature, and looks forward to enjoying a nice, long slumber once his divine duty has been concluded. 

 Hopping into a small, spike clad sail boat will inspire a small gust to blow Link and the boat into the boss arena. When Link arrives, the whale knows well that he is the long awaited messenger, but warns that he cannot let Link lay claim to the trifource without testing him in a battle, just as the other two primordials before him had.

 The fight begins with the whale leaping from the water and taking to the air. Link must use the Gust Bellows (dungeon item) to propel his sailboat. The whale will eventually fall from the sky to slam into the boat, and Link must blow the little boat out of the way. It’s important to keep moving when the whale is in the air.

  Once the whale has come crashing down, there’s a brief moment when it’s sitting stunning in the water, and Link must smash the boat (and its spikes) into the giant creature. The whale then sinks back into the watery depths before leaping out again to repeat the attack. 

 Eventually, the whale becomes too injured to fly any more, and he attempts to suck Link into his mouth instead. Link must use the Gust Bellows once again to blow the boat in the opposite direction until the whale finally stops to take a breather. Ram the boat into the whale two more times to beat him.

Upon beating the boss, Link scores himself a sweet and final piece of the trifource, and the whale wins himself a very well earned nap.

  • Announcer: We now bring you a public service announcement from King Zora.
  • King Zora: Hi kids, today we saw Lord Jabu Jabu swallowing Link, and that led to a very cool adventure. But if someone you know tries to offer you an adventure to eat, that's NOT cool. Sure, taking adventure might seem fun at first, but how fun do you think it is whenever he starts using some of your sensitive organs as a dungeon? That's right. Not very. Lord Jabu Jabu learned that the hard way.
  • Lord Jabu Jabu: I should have just said no.
  • King Zora: That's right kids, don't make the same mistake that Jabu Jabu made. Keep it cool. Stay in school.
  • Announcer: This has been a King Zora public service announcement.
Ganondorf's Intelligence

I’ve been reading a lot about the Zelda series recently, and the gaming journalism I’ve encountered tends to discuss Ganondorf as if he’s not very smart. Nintendo’s official extratextual materials seem to agree on this point as well. For example, in the Twilight Princess HD guide, Ganondorf’s character entry says, “He was blind to danger, and was subdued, and was brought to justice,” as if his imprisonment were a result of nothing more than pigheaded stupidity.

I’m having trouble accepting this view of Ganondorf, as I’ve always understood him to be exceptionally intelligent.

In Ocarina of Time, Ganondorf  insinuates himself into the good graces of Hyrule’s king as he uncovers the locations of the three Spiritual Stones necessary to open the gate to the Sacred Realm, which he correctly hypothesizes can be accessed through the Temple of Time. Even before he gains the Triforce of Power, his possesses magic strong enough to alter the landscape of Death Mountain and to curse Lord Jabu-Jabu and the Great Deku Tree, both of whom are minor deities. Furthermore, if the Gerudo language is distinct from the Hylian language (as suggested by the differences between the scripts displayed in the game), Ganondorf is fluently bilingual.

In The Wind Waker, Ganondorf once again sets in motion a plan that seems to have taken some time to come to full fruition, and he is largely successful in achieving his goals, which are only thwarted at the very end of the game. As in Ocarina of Time, Ganondorf possesses strong magic, reshaping entire islands and controlling the weather even though the full extent of his powers have been sealed by the Master Sword. He is fluent in both Hylian and the language of the Great Sea; and, in addition, he seems to be able to communicate with creatures that the other characters in the game treat as unintelligible monsters.

It’s interesting to note that, in the Japanese version of Wind Waker, Ganondorf speaks in a highly poetic linguistic register. Although his language is somewhat archaic, he does not use the speech patterns of an old person (like the King of Red Lions does). Rather, it’s as if Ganondorf speaks in perfect iambic pentameter, as Macbeth does in his “Tomorrow and tomorrow” speech.

In Twilight Princess, Ganondorf orchestrates the events of the game from behind the scenes, cunningly manipulating Zant into creating a set of conditions that allow him to overcome a divinely sanctioned exile and return to Hyrule. As in Wind Waker, his closing monologues are full of gorgeous lyricism, and he also employs a silver tongue when he seduces Zant in a flashback scene.

To me, it’s difficult to think of someone who can speak and strategize as Ganondorf does as unintelligent or “blind to danger.” Instead, he seems to be more like Faust, who traded his soul for a deeper knowledge of the world, or Prometheus, the god of foresight who was punished for giving fire to mankind. Ganondorf’s major character flaw doesn’t seem to be stupidity, or even impetuousness, but the hubris to believe he can rely on his own power to challenge the established order. In that sense, he’s not so much of a villain as he is a tragic antihero.

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: Lord Jabu-Jabu isn't even that large of a fish (or possible aquatic mammal) to maintain and keep a 2 floor, fully functional dungeon complete with a convenient map and compass AND BOOMERANG for getting the traveler through the entirety of the whale. The exterior of the deity is roughly 60 yards in length and about 25-30 yards in width. The "dungeon" has a total of 18 rooms with different parasites attached to the walls and floored tissue of the fish, which some walls even detach to build another level to continue through. There is no way in hell a 20ydx60yd fish is fully capable of containing all that space, INCLUDING vital organs. Speaking of organs, where are they? Are we just in the esophagus the entire time, just passing through the stomach and then somehow get ejected out the blowhole? Or do we get pooped out? It'd be a reasonable answer but this just raises more questions where Link and Ruto were excreted from! AND ALSO, Who is even responsible for feeding Lord Jabu-Jabu? At what point does someone decide to take action to this beast's appetite? When he starts swallowing deadly and electrifying jellyfish, parasites galore? Or when he opens his gargantuan chops and sucks in an Heir to the throne of the Zoras along with a supposed engagement ring that also acts as a key to saving Hyrule from total destruction? Tell me, please. I could rant all day until the cows come home buT THEY AREN'T COMING HOME BECAUSE THEY'RE SLOWLY BEING DIGESTED IN THE WALLS OF LORD. FUCKING. JABU. JABU.