loraine writes

idk does the turnfreewood tag exist, or…

anyway yeah i wrote a little thing, next time i write turnfreewood it might be domestic, but consider this a start to a series of little ficlets revolving around this lovely threesome

Title: Charmed

Word Count: 1484

Notes: Takes place some time after this week’s episode of the Patch (#56 i believe), Gav and Meg are already a thing and in their new house, yeah… This is turnfreewood if that isn’t clear, meaning there will be a relationship between Meg, Gavin, and Ryan where they all smoosh together in happy fun times.

Warnings: Mild language, but otherwise none!


“So how did it go?”

Gavin has his legs tucked against his body as he sits at the counter, phone in hand and balanced on top of his knees.

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so earlier i was searching for burger king’s number on google and instead of typing ‘burger king’ i typed

‘burger kingsman’

and now i can’t shake the idea of a Kingsman AU wherein Harry is the owner of a successful fast food restaurant, Merlin his long-suffering head of Operations, Roxy the newly-appointed yet fierce Assistant Manager, and the Knights are the managers of different franchises of said fast food restaurant (shall we call it Royal Burgers? anyone?). And then there’s Eggsy, poor sweet egg-boy, who’s just started his first day as a cashier when lo and behold, Harry Motherfucking Hart comes to visit their chain to see how things are progressing (or so we thought). And then Eggsy, of course, winks and shamelessly flirts with Harry when the latter goes to order his food. Of course, Harry is amused, the fucking bastard, so he indulges Eggsy with a coy smirk and speaks to him in a sultry voice.

It isn’t when Harry’s already paid and Eggsy’s just finished wrapping up his meal to-go (let’s say an Arthur Meal, yeah?) when Percival - Eggsy’s manager - appears behind Eggsy and says,

“Ah, Mr. Hart, there you are. You’re already fifteen minutes late to the meeting, sir.”

And it’s just dawned on Eggsy that Mr. Hart - the drop-dead gorgeous bloke he was shamelessly flirting with literally a minute ago - happens to be the owner of the fucking restaurant and his fucking boss. So he goes pale and mutters “Fuck me” under his breath, but of course Harry and Percival hears. Percival has a mortified expression on his face but Harry just laughs and tells Eggsy impishly,

“Maybe until after the meeting, dear boy.”

And okay, this got way out of control I’m shutting up now kbye

Arthur|Harry receives a text message from Eggsy in the middle of a meeting with some higher-ups in the government. He slides his phone unlocked to read the message, and it goes something like:

“Harry, love, it’s important. Please check the link below. xx”

Harry frowns, worry etched on his face as he ignores what the Prime Minister is saying as he taps on the link.

Several worst-case scenarios go through his head: Does it contain classified information? Has Kingsman been betrayed again? Is Eggsy in trouble on his mission in Cape Town? Are they being tailed again by one of Harry’s enemies? Fuck, the list could go on for days, and Harry’d be none the wiser.

Only, that and his worry goes out the window when the familiar tune of a song he hasn’t heard in years filters through his mobile phone’s speakers. And the tiny fucking device was in full volume, too, unfortunately.

“We’re no strangers to love
You know the rules, and so do I!”

Eyes widening in horror, Harry didn’t hear Merlin snorting in barely restrained laughter from behind him, and nor did he see the Prime Minister and head of MI-5 and MI-6 biting their lips from laughing out loud at what just happened to the leader of Kingsman.

Buggering fucking hell.

Harry just got Rick Roll’d.

“Consider yourself suspended from mind-blowing sex for a month. Or two. xx” is what Harry types out in a hurry, face red in embarrassment but composure somehow still intact.

That was the fourth time his husband has played a prank on him in six weeks, and Harry has had enough. It’s time for payback.

apparently i don’t only draw freewood, so… here we go i guess

Title: Requiring Acute Attention

Word count: 5383

Summary: Ryan’s a mind-reader, and there’s one mind in the office that attracts him immensely, much to his chagrin.

Warnings: your typical AH swearing. a lot of food-related imagery.

AO3 link

Gavin’s head is always brimming with new ideas. To a telepath, a mind so full of energy is inherently attractive, and Ryan uses that word very loosely.

He’s attracted to Gavin, sure, maybe in the way that a moth is attracted to a flame or the way that flies are attracted to rotting food. He’s attracted in the way that loose threads are attracted to barbs and he’s also caught in the way that flies are trapped in spiders’ webs.

In other words, he’s very thoroughly fucked.

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Okay, so I have a friend who attended Gary Barlow’s (member of Take That who wrote Kingsman’s “Get Ready For It” OST) Apple event last week and he let them listen to a new track his band has been working on.

And yes. IT WAS THE NEW TRACK FOR KINGSMAN 2. And according to my friend (bless her), there were no lyrics to the song yet but that the “first tones of the song gave me goosebumps straight away.”

She said it very Orchestra-like and that it sounded “bloody fucking amazing”

I know this isn’t really that big of a news, but I just wanted to share this with you because it’s still Kingsman-related and holy shit, I’m looking forward to knowing the lyrics of the song soon. 🙊

Okay, my mum’s calling me now, goodnight, fellow kingsman/hartwin trash 

ok ok ok but im rewatching the trailer and when Toby Jones’ character says the following words “what’s the very worst thing you can do to your very best friends?”

and at the word “friends” the video cuts to an image of John who standing in the dark, the only light shining on him coming from above and it looks like  the reflection of the aquarium too



“tell them your darkest secret”

and it immediately cuts to Sherlock saying “I LOVE YOU” to the screen with John and Mycroft right behind him and


remember that one time i wrote a mavin fic where gavin spends the night for the first time yeah i wanted to do that for the rest of my rt ships but it never happened (oh my god it was over a year ago wow)

and then jade did all these ship asks and i found this thing halfway finished and decided to complete it

Title: Soft

Word Count: 932 (again a little ficlet sort of dealie)

Pairing: Rayvin

Notes: unfortunately, not the same direction as Nightfall but the same concept nonetheless. A bit of swearing, vaaaague mentions of sex.


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Late Christmas spyscout fic! Happy holidays, y'all :)

Word count: 940

Notes: Mostly snarky dialogue, but that’s the usual for me. Nothing explicit aside from Scout’s swearing. Typed out their accents a bit, too.


“How the fuck did we get stuck out here?”

Scout’s face is red in response to his cold surroundings. His cheeks, nose, and ears have been especially susceptible, it seems. It matches his uniform, at least.

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warming up my writing for anderspositive week, maybe. either way, here’s a little modern au thing based on one of the prompts from this post.

title: cat catcher

word count: 1477

notes: handers. written in second person to avoid gendered pronouns. purple hawke because i can only write sarcastic assholes. also available on ao3 if you prefer that.

It’s been a long day. That’s been happening a lot lately. The long days, you mean. The kind that sit right between your shoulder blades, a twisted, curled sort of weight that makes you hunch and twitch your head from left to right to coax the kinks out, usually to no avail.

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MORE COLLEGE AU be warned this is going to be a long post

some of this stuff was already covered in my previous posts, but i think some of the stuff is new

their ages are posted and if you can’t see them: engie - 25, spy + demo + sniper - 20, heavy - 22,  medic - 23, solly - 21, pyro - 19, scout - 18

demo started hormone treatment at 16 as a birthday gift from his mom (that doesn’t mean she didn’t gripe about it however). he threw his own party when he was able to grow that sweet mustache. him and solly are workout partners and demo is pretty jealous of solly’s build, tho he aims to quell that jealousy by having sex with him lmao. demo is also pan. he loves long sleeves but always rolls up the sleeves. engie too.

sniper’s mom sends him his pants tailored because otherwise he’d be doomed for belts forever thanks to his odd waist to leg length ratio.

spy is the main cook, tho he’s starting to share that responsibility with heavy. sniper and scout sub in for him when need be. spy actually knows how to cook and can make stuff aside from basic pasta, unlike scout and sniper. sniper is actually really good at handling meat. engie loves a good bbq every now and then too. however, medic is the one in charge of groceries since he needs to make sure everyone’s eating well.

engie and spy are the resident cold hand owners. heavy has really warm hands that could cover the span of pretty much the whole team’s shoulders, so they sometimes come to him to use his hands as like a blanket. engie is ticklish. medic is obsessed with sweater vests and his eyesight is horrible. 

solly currently helps coach the football team. essentially he helps with drills and conditioning and training and blah blah. most of the team is unaware he is also a student. solly is also obsessed with keeping in shape. he’s very efficient as a drill sergeant. engie often borrows him for heavy lifting because heavy is too tall to move easily in the basement. 

scout pretty much dresses as he does in canon: tshirts and pants. he pulls of skinny jeans pretty well tho. he’s one of those assholes who wears shorts in inappropriately cold weather. in the last picture, he’s wearing one of spy’s shirts to cover his clothes in painting class. he has two of spy’s dress shirts for this purpose, and one of engie’s sweaters in case it’s cold. spy’s shirts are easily too big because spy has broader shoulders than scout and he’s taller than scout, but engie’s shirt is almost too short.

STILL NO SHIPPING CHART YET getting on that soon