summary: reader’s friend gets distracted by Rafael on a night out, and daveed is there to keep her entertained
warnings: NSFW! alcohol, swearing, clippng lyrics (they’re filthy wow), semi-public sex (?), and smut, like, SMUT.
word count: 3,004
a/n: this largely exists so I can get over Daveed’s verse in the clippng song “tonight” where he just talks through sex and then PANTS INTO THE MIC. BYE. this is my first ham imagine, so…yeah. inbox is open for feedback and requests and friendship and shiiit.
For the record, a loose ranking of which merc is most trustworthy with an infant is as follows:
1. Siris: the best out of the bunch, has a functioning moral compass, that kind of Dad who keeps wallet photos. Despite his night job, really caring dude.
2. Post-Chorus Locus: I trust him to keep it alive. Mostly cus he’s trying the good guy thing and would probably drop it off somewhere to someone competent. The bar is low here children. We can’t all be Siris.
3. Merc-Trilogy Locus: He sticks to his job. Pay him enough and it will probably work out. Why you would pay Locus to babysit I have no idea, look at your choices.
4. Merc Trilogy Felix: Would also do it if you paid him enough but unlike Locus has a rep for going off plan. Also a terrible influence: at least Locus won’t say anything at all, Felix you got enough filthy words in 20 languages.
5. Chorus Locus: he’s not Felix. That’s literally the only thing that gets him this spot.
6. Chorus Felix: I would not trust Chorus Felix with a potted plant. I don’t care how much I paid him, I trust him to keep nothing good and pure alive. Literally anyone is better.
I want to say he dreams like Pearl in Chille Tid, with the projection thing (also, he has probably had a dream of like…Clark turning around and having Brainiac 1′s head, or something. Love interest replaced by ‘enemy’. ya know.). But really, who the hell knows.