found a lot of love in this town
i,,,i don’t even know what to say here i wrote this thing on a plane and it’s incoherent fluff to the nth degree. i think i gotta blame @sergeant-santiago for this for screaming about peraltiago babies to me for like,,,all week now (title from city of angels, by the head and the heart)
Amy Santiago mutters a curse to herself. She’s in the back room of a wedding hall, swallowing down nausea and standing through dizziness, thinking to herself that the dark circles under her eyes most certainly don’t match her gorgeous powder-blue dress (she’s trusting that Gina will be able to fix it later, and that Gina will chalk up the circles to a perfectly usual lack of sleep). Her pantsuit had fit just fine this morning – maybe a little tight, but still zipping normally. Of course this dress, which had fit last month at the fitting, would be too small already.
Although, in fairness, a lot had changed in the last month, she reminds herself, a hand ghosting over her belly.
Rosa, leaned against a wall a few feet from Amy, looks up from the straps on her sandals at the muttered shit, and Amy regrets the noise immediately. It’ll probably zip with a little effort, after all. Or at least, she thinks with another tug at the zipper, her other hand stretched behind her to hold the dress closed, it had better zip. She can’t show up to her captain’s vow renewal in a work pantsuit (it would have to be a formal one, at least).
She knows rationally that Captain Holt couldn’t care less what she wears to his vow renewal, that he and Kevin would be proud to have her participate no matter what she was wearing, and that there are a million excuses in the world – other than the truth, which she can’t share quite yet – for why the dress didn’t work. But still, her breath is starting to quicken, and for some godforsaken reason tears are springing into her eyes because she’s only eight weeks in and has already lost control. Her body has always done exactly what she wanted it to, and she and Jake had talked about this eventuality six months ago when they first had this conversation. But now it’s real. There are thirty-two more weeks, and then the rest of her life, where she’ll never have full control again, but she thought she had time. She wasn’t ready for it to go to pieces today.
She’s growing a bit frantic, wishes she could go find Jake, likely standing with Charles and Terry in their suits in the reception hall, to hold her tight and whisper stories about cribs and stuffed elephants and toddler-sized Hogwarts robes and the sweet smell of baby shampoo like he did last time she panicked, staring at a positive pregnancy test and feeling this huge life change turn from hypothetical to tangible.
But then, she feels Rosa’s hands on hers, pushing them out of the way so that her friend can try the zipper from a better angle. She feels two gentle tugs. And then Rosa’s hands drop away, her clicking heels carrying her to Amy’s front, where she stops, arms crossed.