looks like someone is getting laid tonight

The signs as random things my chemistry teacher said
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Aries:</b> "Stop asking me dumb questions! *sighs* Please just Google that shit, okay?"<p/><b>Taurus:</b> "This cup of mango juice is better than your grades."<p/><b>Gemini:</b> "Shall I compare thee to a halogen? Cause you're very unstable, Karen."<p/><b>Cancer:</b> *steps inside the classroom with a MCR t-shirt* "WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY.."<p/><b>Leo:</b> "Your chance of passing this year is as high as my chance to get laid tonight."<p/><b>Virgo:</b> "It got my degree and now I'm stuck with you idiots! Haha no I'm just kidding." *coughs* "not."<p/><b>Libra:</b> *Walks over to a smooching couple* Seems like you two got chemistry.<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> "You could compare the octet rule to humanity. We all need someone to be with us and keep us stable." *looks trough the window* "Why did you leave me Amanda?"<p/><b>Sagittarius:</b> "I'm gonna dress up as the guy from Despicable Me for Halloween this year. I expect you all to dress as minions. If not, everyone in this class will be facing consequences."<p/><b>Capricorn:</b> *with a thick fake accent* "Bloody hell mate! That is one magnificent jumper you're wearing."<p/><b>Aquarius:</b> "Call me Gouda because boy I've been cheesy as fuck lately."<p/><b>Pisces:</b> "WATCH OUT THAT'S EXPLOSIVE!" *student runs away scared* "Just kidding bro. "<p/></p><p/></p>