Maybe some time around the age of 16 Remus’s transformations stop leaving him weak and hollow
In fact, they start to have the opposite effect
Not that Remus notices; as usual his brilliant mind is always quietly occupied
But Sirius notices
Merlin Sirius notices
It starts with his shoulders, he can’t help but eye the way they sit a little broader when Remus stands up straight
Then it’s his forearms, Sirius can see the tendons stand out a little when Remus lies on the sofa and holds his book above his head.
After the next full moon, it’s his biceps - they start pushing against his shirt when he leans over his potions essay, and Sirius’s mouth all but drops to the floor
Suddenly it’s hard to be around Remus, literally, without feeling a tightness growing in his trousers
The boys sit opposite each other in the library for hours, an endless pile of homework and exam prep leaving them caught in a dizzying cycle of work, eat, sleep
They all need some relief, but fuck Sirius needs a very specific kind of relief
Exams are so close, and he has to focus, but just a look at Remus could flick a switch in his body
Even his hands, somehow his hands look bigger, stronger
Sirius starts biting down hard on his lip each time his eyes drift to his boyfriend in class, or the library, or the common room (okay, just about everywhere)
But after half a day his bottom lip becomes red and puffy
Instead Sirius finds himself disappearing to the toilets to splash cold water on his face more often than he’d like to admit
When Remus’s arm winds protectively around him as they walk down a busy corridor, he has to bite back a whine
And when Remus strolls out of the shower one morning, a towel slung low around his hips, Sirius just sits and stares
Because his chest, Christ his chest has transformed
And it was all Sirius could do not to go over there and beg Remus to deal with his painfully hard arousal, right there in front of James and Peter
And when Remus caught him, eyes roving greedily across his bare skin and freshly tousled hair, he just stared right back and winked
Sirius rolled over in bed and bit down so hard on his pillow he could have torn it apart
This day was particularly torturous, and it didn’t help that the summer heat had Remus loosening the top few buttons of his shirt
Or that, in transfiguration, his hand had been resting high on Sirius’s thigh the whole time Frank was explaining petrification.
Or that, as they walked to the library, Remus slid Sirius’s bag from his shoulder and slung it easily across his own, winding an arm around his waist
By time they sat down Sirius was almost at breaking point, his frustration had his heart beating overtime and his head cloudy
He cast his eyes down, trying desperately to ignore his boyfriend’s newly broadened shoulders, or his tight, hard chest
Or the way his arms looked when he stretched out like that, fuck
Sirius’s chair scraped loudly against the floor as he stood up, muttering half an excuse about the bathroom
He didn’t feel connected to his feet as they carried him through the library, eyebrows furrowed and head fuzzy
He didn’t notice Remus until his fingers were locked around his wrists, and his whole body tugged sideways
Sirius’s soft moan of surprise was muffled by Remus’s lips, which collided with his before he could even gather his surroundings
Remus’s hand travelled to Sirius’s neck, his thumb pressing gently into the soft skin, while his other grasped at his hips
Sirius thought his legs would give way at any moment
Just as abruptly as it began, Remus drew away, focusing his burning eyes on Sirius
“You keep disappearing.” He murmured “And you won’t look at me.”
He pressed a thumb to Sirius’s puffy bottom lip “You’re not telling me something Sirius.”
Again, Remus’s hand slid back to Sirius’s neck, a gentle pressure aiding the fuzzy euphoria Sirius felt at his touch
“Tell me.” He growled.
When his face blurred back into view, an almost delirious Sirius saw Remus’s expression harden
“I can take it.” He said, lowly
Sirius frowned, still breathless, resisting the urge to buck his hips into Remus’s warm, gorgeous body
“It’s you.” He murmured, looking down
Suddenly, inexplicably, he felt ashamed
“You’ve changed and I can’t - I can’t cope. It’s not that I didn’t like you before, I love you whatever you - what ever you look like - and you were always gorgeous, but now you’re just, you’re just kind of perfect and it’s just” Remus’s proximity making Sirius almost incoherent.
“…it’s just your shoulders got bigger, and your arms, and I can’t stop, I can’t focus and I know you just want to work and there’s no time for it so I was trying not to bother you but fuck Remus.”
“What?” Remus’s hand tilted Sirius’s chin up, forcing him to meet his confused gaze.
Sirius shuttered under his boyfriend’s newly bulky frame
“You’re not…” Remus frowned. “I thought you liked someone else.”
Sirius nearly choked. “What?” He spluttered.
“Remus” He snapped, taking control and pushing himself closer to the boy. “I can’t focus on anything but you. I can’t study, I can’t sleep, I can’t look at you in class without…” Sirius groaned and pushed his hips against Remus, using his hard arousal to illustrate his point.
Sirius pressed frantic kisses into to the soft skin on Remus’s neck. “And when you came out of the shower today…”
Sirius’s sentence ended in a gasp as his back hit a smooth, cool wall. Remus’s warm mouth was at his neck, his hands pressing down his sides, their bodies flush against each other
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Remus growled. “Why didn’t you let me help you?”
Sirius only moaned in response as Remus’s thigh found its way between his legs, pressing teasingly against him
“Sirius.” Remus growled again. “Why?”
“You were…busy.” Sirius groaned, feeling Remus grip his chin.
“Look at me.” Remus ordered, his eyes burning. “I am never too busy for you, Sirius Black.”
Sirius looked at his boyfriend, panting. His hips bucked into Remus, and he tried to connect their lips again, but he felt a strong hand push him back, denying him.
“Now, say it back to me.” Ordered Remus. “I’m never too busy to fuck you, say it back.”
Sirius shuttered, Remus telling him what to do was just, fuck.
“You’re never too busy to fuck me.” Sirius’s need was turning his voice into a desperate whine, but Remus didn’t move.
His eyes burned into Sirius’s, and his voice was low and threatening. “Next time you need me, you’re going to tell me, okay? You’re going to say: ‘Remus, I need you to fuck me now.’ And I’m then going to fuck you, okay?”
Sirius’s eyes almost rolled upwards, his whole body was trembling.
“Remus,” Sirius managed to whisper, somewhat calmly. “I need you to fuck me now.”
Sirius shuttered as he felt Remus grip the back of his thighs, easily lifting Sirius up and pressing him against the wall, his legs now hooked around his waist.
Some parts of the pregnancy are slightly exaggerated to give more humor.
• It’s no secret, Chris has said many times he wants to be a dad and he’s looking forward to it. So, when you stand in the bathroom with the positive tests in hands, you really aren’t stressed about telling him. You’re quite excited to see his face because you love kids too. • When you tell him you’re pregnant, he looks at you with wide eyes because he has no idea how to react: he’s probably thinking of how much he wants to kiss you for the rest of his life or asking you to marry him all over again, or even make another baby right now! • Though, it’s not long before he reacts when he sees the five pregnancy tests. He laughs so happily as he spoons you in his arms that you can’t help but giggle and he keeps telling you he loves you so much. • He can’t even stop kissing you or your tummy. • The first days after the announcement, he keeps giggling with you and asks himself if it’s a dream or not. He also tries not to freak out and get nervous. • Your families are overly happy to hear the news. • His mother cries at this moment because her baby boy will have his own baby. • Chris worries about his ability to be a good father, but you kiss his insecurities away and tell him he is a great father already because he wants to be a dad for so long and that’s also something he gotta learn with time and with you. • He takes care of you all day. Every day. • You can wake him up at 2 in the morning to eat your favorite meal. • You both eat Starbucks’ jelly beans right after. • Chris plans your baby’s first trip to Disney World secretly. He buys everything he needs to make sure they will love everything related to Disney! • He is unsurprisingly protective. • Chris grins like an idiot for hours whenever he hears the heartbeat of your baby and when he feels their very first kicks. • - “Stop carrying me everywhere, Chris. I can walk. I’m pregnant, not sick.” - “I know, but I don’t want you to take a risk.” • Chris is here for you every step of the way and assures you he loves this baby and you more than anything else. • He realizes that marrying was the best choice he made you when your hormones are going wild. • One day, you catch him purchasing some Patriots baby gift sets and clothing. You basically have to stop him before he can buy everything related to his favorite team in the NFL store. • He’s still currently trying to find a Tom Brady bodysuit with “Baby Evans” flocked at the back. • You call your mother every time something new happens during your pregnancy and when she says everything is fine, Chris calls Lisa to double check. - “Did you seriously call your mom?” - “Sweetheart, it’s just to be sure.” • Chris smiles every time you say you look too big, but he thinks you are gorgeous as ever with this baby bump. Because you carry life, so nothing is more beautiful. - “Chris, why are you even staying with me? I look like a potato.” - “You are perfect and this the most beautiful moment of our lives. It’s our baby inside.” - “Okay, I trust you this time. But only because you’ve also gained weight.” - “That’s my gi… Wait, what?!” • Chris sings Disney songs every night to your baby before sleep. Let’s be honest, he does this all the time. • He wants to have a boy first just to teach him how to prank you in the future.
BonusBonus: • He is in-between a mix of stress and joy when you go into labor. He’s there for you, though. • You almost crush the bones of his hand when you push. - “Never again! I will never let you touch me ever again, Evans! Heard me?!” - “Don’t exaggerate, it’s- OUCH!” - “Please, Mrs. Evans, stop threatening your husband. You have to push!” • Chris cries and smiles when he holds your baby for the first time.
Plagues Against Mankind That We Shouldn’t Have To Deal With At This Point What The Huck
When your hair looks beyond amazing but no matter how many pictures you take it looks bad on film so you’re left alone in your room at 4:43 am suffering because you’ll now never have photographic evidence of the time your hair looked like it was styled by the angel’s themselves just in time for you to rush off to the Royal Ball. Only you will ever have this knowledge. You know the hair will be a mess by the time you see another human being again. Cursed.
Un-skippable ads in the MIDDLE of videos. what the hell.
When you order a Bloody Mary but it just tastes like straight tomato juice and nothing else
When you’re romantically frustrated and No One Wants To Take One For The Team And Just Date You Already
M. Night Shyamalan announcing a live action Avatar: The Last Airbender Two in 2017 the Year the Lord Abandoned Us, Apparently
The unseen forces that walk and jump on your roof all night long. They sound too heavy to be squirrels or raccoons. You never see anything up there when you check outside. You go back inside and the noises immediately resume, only this time you can now hear them laughing at you. Why Cant The Invisible Edgelords Remain Calm
Those birds that just dive right in front of your moving car
Owls in places and times where there Shouldn’t Be Owls
When the dude living in your walls won’t stop blasting his techno bop music
Having to use your rock pet to kill attacking bugs because you have no other means of defense
the fact that I don’t know how to access podcasts and if I ask I’ll sound stupid
When your glasses are always smudged or dirty no matter what the hell you do seriously how the hell has no one invented something to stop this yet
When the Slurpee machines are always out of blue raspberry
When people reference ‘the office’ while talking to you but you don’t get the joke because you’ve never seen ‘the office’ and when you tell them that you’ve never seen ‘the office’ they look at you as if you personally skinned their great grandmother alive
That…the fricking,,,,,,warm thing in the air that makes my body moist. Why that there. unnecessary attack from the planet. why. I want sweaters not sweat
the fact that I Have No One To See Spider-Man:Homecoming With And I Am Distressed
When the wild rabbits don’t pick up on your psychic communication that you are one of them and they run from you
When the wine is expired
When your favorite flowers only bloom for like one week a year
The fact that you are currently not eating chocolate
The fact that there currently is not Buffalo Chicken Dip entering my body
Those people that walk up moving escalators
The guy that dresses up as Sulley in Disney World that grabbed my ass when I took a picture with him
Every Villain Is Lemon
When all of your facebook memories are boring or depressing
The Cicadas That Are Laying In Wait
Those people that are rude to waiters and waitresses
When you wanna write something but you’re hit with the overwhelming feeling that no one will ever wanna read it so What’s The Point
The Vampire That Twerks Behind You Every Time You Look In A Mirror But You Can’t See Him Because He’s A Vampire But You Have The Overwhelming Feeling Of Knowledge That There’s A Vampire Twerking Behind You
The fact that Owen Wilson will never truly know we Value Him
When you’re not even making noise but a random old man complains about how much noise you’re making
The fact that there isn’t a 24/7 Law and Order: SVU channel
People who can’t make up their minds about Dr. Phil
really just wanna circle back here to the fact that my hair looks amazing right now I look like a 16th century maiden who is escaping her tower to attend the ball where she must slay the beast to save the kingdom this is my authentic past life coming through to make my hair look effortlessly gorgeous but the camera is not cooperating and No One Will Ever Truly Know
Good tv shows getting cancelled
People that unironically wanna have sex with Bill Cipher
Being awake at 5:36 in the morning
The glowing orb that refuses to move out of your sock drawer
Those little green men that sometimes escape out of jars in your cabinets and you gotta battle them for dominance of your own kitchen or else they’ll add too much paprika to all your meals…like, what’s their deal?
cats that don’t love you back
Clovers that don’t have four leafs
When you have to have matching socks to look professional
the T-Rex that insists on stomping down the street every time you’re trying to sleep
Aliens being hidden by the government
When you rhyme by accident
When you try to rhyme on purpose but can’t think of anything
The fact that I just had to google how to spell ‘rhyme’
The decreasing firefly population
7th graders that constantly stick their fingers through circles as a means of silently making sex jokes
Weeds that are taller than me I must be the Dominant Inconvenience
Fahrenheit vs Celsius
Those guys that come up to your house to try to get you to buy Verizon Fios
We’re Running Out Of Chocolate
When John Oliver Steals Words Out Of Your Mouth Before You Can Even Think Them Like The Creature From Midnight
Zac Efron not showing up to the HSM 10th anniversary party
People who just really causally do splits or impossible stretches while your tensed up immobile ass is forced to watch
When You start doing squats but it starts making your butt get smaller and you grow distressed
People that are, like, unironically mean to other people. What the f o c k
All my socks developing holes in them
Crushes that go nowhere
the fact that no one ever thinks to respect the soft, gentle Molepeople that have been quietly helping our civilization along without reward for hundreds of centuries
Werewolves getting mistaken for Skinwalkers
The giant ball of flesh under the ocean that’s just waiting to destroy us all
People Who Don’t Get Your Sense Of Humor
No one acknowledging your selfies
Hunters and Cryptozoologists not taking the hint that Bigfoot simply isn’t interested
The fact I can’t figure out a clever way to end this post
Mankind Becoming the Plague Itself
Conan O’Brien and his immense hidden power that everyone chooses to foolishly ignore. One day, he will reveal his true form and strike.